Why I Stayed.

By Celeste Graham

An account of my life from when I married my Egyptian Husband. It went from a fairy story of love to that of terror and fear for my life. I stayed to protect my children from a life of misery from this man. I started writing things that he did to me as I thought that no one would actually believe me. The torment and domestic abuse I endeavored was beyond belief, this ranged from physical abuse to mental and verbal abuse to that of taking out a fatwa against my life and that of my children.

Being brought up in a family when I was young that was also ravaged by physical and mental abuse with the parents then progressing into a marriage and suffering worse was too much to endure, but I stayed because of my children. The rules are that of if a woman walks out the children stay and the thought of this was too much to bear. Writing it down was the best thing to do with the whole situation.

During the time with him, I supported my whole family with sometimes having 2 jobs to support them all as my husband did not work. I was working on my days off, I hardly slept, sometimes I went to work with 3 hours sleep. I managed in this time to complete my master’s degree and doctorate degree. I have managed to set all my children up with a decent life after we split.

I am still working and have a job in education and research within the area of teaching and learning in healthcare. I encourage all woman to be strong and believe in their dreams.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Balboa Press UK
• Release date: May 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9781982287269

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Copyright © 2023 Celeste Graham.

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ISBN: 978-1-9822-8725-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9822-8726-9 (e)

Balboa Press rev. date:  05/25/2023

CONTENTS

Preface

Introduction

26th March 1982

Unemployed

New Job

Separate Bedrooms

Abuse

Conclusion

PREFACE

This is my own story and I will say that all the events within this book are real and I have made nothing up. Names have been changed to protect privacy and for security reasons. Geographical situations have also been changed for the same security and privacy reasons. My story is real and I survived to tell the story. I wanted to tell it as it was, I want to empower woman with the power of being able to stand up to an abuser and bullies of this world.

I partially dedicate this book to the memory of my late husband who encouraged me and restored my faith in marriage. His understanding and caring attitude was a lifeline for my family. He was selfless, kind, generous and is now an angel in heaven looking down, but taken too soon. He encouraged me to fulfil my dreams and finish and publish my story.

I also want to dedicate this book to my wonderful children who have been my source of energy to never give up. They turned out to be caring people who are hardworking and doing well in their careers. Their patience and understanding in why I had to write this will be my source of encouragement and love. They have become strong people with minds of their own, they remained respectful to their father which shows how resilient they have become. They could have done the opposite of respect but they did not and this shows that I brought them up well. Although I would not have disagreed to a total excommunication from their father as I have done. They are good people. He should be proud of them as he showed them no respect during their childhood. This book started because I felt that no one would believe the pain and anguish we all went through during the marriage. Why did I stay? This is what I get said to me all the time. Well it was because of my children, they would have been taken away from me and that I could not have endured.

INTRODUCTION

Having been brought up in a household of continuous fighting and arguing which at times were violent between my parents, I just dreamt of the time I could leave home from a very early age. My parents brought me up in a bigoted religion which meant going to church every Sunday and the schooling that was looking back, so biased and one sided, I thought I had it not so bad. I had my own bedroom. I had friends who had 7 siblings, sharing everything including rooms, so my life seemed to be okay.

The violence between my parents seemed normal to me anyway, as I did not know anything better. My mother was the violent and verbally abusive one to my father and at times to me. My earliest recollection of the violence, fighting and arguing was around when I was 3 years old. I used to be shipped out to my grandmothers in another city, she was the calming effect on my life, I loved her. I think she knew what was going on between my parents but never mentioned it or spoke to me about anything that ever happened. Everyone thought my mother was a bully and at times really aggressive, the hard one of the family,