Coming into my bedroom to check on me, there wasn’t a time when Grandad left me alone
Is this just going to happen forever? I thought.
Getting me on my own, he touched me every week.
He frightened me.
Only, at the same time, Grandad made me feel special.
Buying me all the presents I wanted, if I asked for something, I got it.
It made me feel different.
Even if I did dread the thought of him coming over.
I couldn’t even look forward to spending time at school, as bullied there, too, it felt like I could never catch a break.
Keeping a huge secret, I didn’t have any friends – I was isolated and alone.
Nobody knew the truth and I was really desperate for someone to listen.
But I knew I couldn’t tell Mum – it was her dad after all.
And so, every Sunday, I’d lie there and wait for it to be over.
I know the drill, let’s get it over and done I thought.
