My Flight to Freedom: The Uncut Truth

By Gina Iapicca Mahoney

Gina was born a free-spirited happy child and always wanted to make others uplifted. She knew she had a spiritual gift to help and heal people. Unfortunately, when she was at the tender age of four years old, she was sexually abused for the first time. This caused her severe problems from the start.

She stuttered and had low self-esteem only to be mentally physically and sexually abused by her stepfather again for another ten years! That did not stop her loving empathetic spiritual journey. This book shows the steps in Gina's life from early childhood to being an adult with all of her struggles by using her strong spiritual gift of intuition to help and guide others and inspire them through life. She looked danger in the eye for so many years with such resilience and determination. This made her super intuitive and alert. Gina moves forward to help others who have gone through what she went through! Gina also struggled with obsessive-compulsive disorder, post-traumatic stress disorder, anxiety, and depression but always maintained a positive attitude and brought inspiration to each day she has. This book will show other women or men who were victimized that there is light at the end of the tunnel and, most importantly, you are never alone.

Read this book and be inspired and uplifted. This mother of two has gone through so much and still sees the glass half full! My Flight to Freedom is a triumphant book about a young helpless scared stuttering little girl growing into a strong resilient, uplifting, and courageous woman. My Flight to Freedom (the uncut truth) is written to help other women and men who have gone through her pain to show that you have control of the beautiful life you deserve to live!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Fulton Books, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 2, 2022
• ISBN: 9781638609643

Book preview

Introduction

As I sit here starting my book at the age of nineteen, I think, how many years will I write this until I actually publish it? I think, maybe in my forties? As I reflect back on years of a lot of things, I don’t know what’s wrong with me at times. I get so insecure as a kind loving young lady, inside and out. I get anxious and depressed and look to my boyfriend for constant approval of my body and soul. Then I think to myself, well, obviously, it is because of what happened to me.

My stepfather controlled my every move and emotion for years. I want to have an attitude like To hell with this, that, and him. I am the best, and I shouldn’t take any garbage ever! I am sometimes strong like that. Today, I feel that way. That’s how girls should be, especially nice girls like me, girls who are good and would do anything to help people.

A lot of things are a major contribution to my bouts of depression. One is the way I lost all contact with my stepfamily. I love them so much. It really hurts that we don’t speak anymore; especially around the holidays, it weighs on me heavily. I was close with them from 1979 until I revealed what was happening to me finally in January of 1988. I did not consider them stepfamily at all. That was one of so many reasons why I could not tell. I did not want to lose all of those people. Thank God I have my boyfriend and my dad’s side of the family to spend the holidays with, or I would be extremely sad.

It astonishes me that I will never talk to my stepfather again. It doesn’t bother me, but it is just so crazy. He was somebody who controlled my whole life for a decade. He controlled my state of being.

When I say he controlled my state of being, I am referring to the way he was toward me, so nasty, like when I just looked at him the wrong way. I would actually sit in one spot until he would speak to me again. Sometimes, I would just sit and be in shock and fear for hours! I don’t know why he made me feel so ashamed when he was angry with me. If he had felt like touching me sexually, he did, and that was that. I was to have no say at all (at least, I thought so because he controlled me as a little girl). He just treated me as if he owned me.

The most horrible thing he did was that he took my innocence away. That is something that is irreplaceable. He took something away from me that only I was supposed to give permission to allow! Now I have to live with the fact that my stepfather was the first person to have sex with me against my will—not the person I was in love with and gave permission to, but someone whom I resented, someone who was supposed to protect me like a father from creeps like him.

I worry about my mom because she is hurting so badly. She is haunted by her love for him and what he did to me at the same time. This was the same man that came to my baseball games, paid for my clothes, and put a roof over our heads. It seems that most of her marriage was painful. My mother was weak; she had been through a lot and did not make clear decisions that I will get into later in the book.

Recently, she broke up with him. They break up and get back a lot. It has been five months this time around since they broke up. It looks promising for now, but I just know that they will be back for whatever reason. It may be that she won’t let him go. It is for her to accept it and do away with him.

People just don’t understand my mother and how she can be with him. When I say people, I am referring to my family and our friends who care about us. That’s perfectly understandable. Some family members would barely talk to my mother for a while when they found out she stayed with him. Eventually, though, people forgave and overlooked it. They couldn’t change her feelings, but they still loved her, so they accepted what made her happy no matter how much it hurt. I’m no exception because I don’t want my mother with him either. But she says she’s happy; so be it! He has done so much more to her since this happened that I hope someday she will learn her lesson for good. She is still in a very dangerous situation.

My stepfather has abused my brother and me and called my mother disgusting names. He has hit her at least twice since I came out with all that was happening to me on top of the few times he smacked her when he was living with us. He has now stopped giving my mother money for the mortgage, and she is struggling so badly. She cannot afford the house on her paycheck alone. I helped out a little bit, but it was not enough for my mom to live comfortably. I intuitively believe that all of her pain and anxieties will pay off. She will be happy again someday because what goes around comes around! I believe from the bottom of my heart that God will help all of us.

Mom works at least sixty hours a week and deals with my brother who is now eighteen years old. He is struggling in his own way so much that he is acting out. He has all of his friends over the house and has parties, and she comes home aggravated and stressed. I know he is searching for love and comfort from friends. I hope my brother is going to be okay, too, because he is such a good soul and my very best friend. He has a lot of anger because he was physically and mentally abused badly by my stepfather as well.

Being now 1989 and the day before Thanksgiving, I guess I’m feeling a little sentimental, so I have to write what I’m feeling because it helps me gather my thoughts. Although I have problems that will always be in my mind, believe it or not, this Thanksgiving, I have a lot to be thankful for; I’ll have to admit. I’m thankful that I finally revealed the horrible circumstances I was in and I’m now able to be the real me! I’m thankful I have a great mother and for my wonderful friends. I’m thankful for my strength and sanity, which I could have easily lost. I’m thankful for the beautiful family my boyfriend introduced me to who treat me like their own. I’m thankful that I have a job working for a medical software company in Boston, where I am department secretary, supporting myself since the age of eighteen! After going through what I did, many people wouldn’t even be able to think straight, let alone get a job.

Most of all, I’m thankful for the life that I have, considering what it could have been if I hadn’t been such a strong person. I am proud of myself. I went through ten years of torture, and I was still able to be the strong, good-natured, happy person I am. And I have done it all with my head up.

Although the mixed emotions about everything continue, people have such different outlooks on what should happen and how one should feel after such a thing has happened. I feel that there really is no right or wrong feelings or what one should do. Who is to say their opinion is right? I am explaining what happened to me and what I have seen and been through since then.

In many situations on talk shows, I have seen girls wanting to be a family again after their fathers had raped them. It does sound so strange, but that is what made those particular girls happy, and that’s what they felt is right for them. They went to counseling and kept the family together. I can’t understand that myself, but who am I to judge? I never judge anybody! I personally could never find myself wanting to ever speak to him again! He has done irreparable damage that will affect me for the rest of my life. Even now, I hear him screaming at the top of his lungs to Mom over the phone to have me kicked out!

I was having coffee with my mom and just turned eighteen years old. The phone rang, and it was him. My mother was fighting with him, saying, Please stop it. She’s my daughter. No! No! I proceeded to pick up the other telephone. He screamed, You get her out of my house! I couldn’t believe the anger and sick tone in his voice. It was so scary! I told her that I was going for a walk. He has indeed done irreparable damage in every way possible!

The whole situation is extremely difficult. There is so much to tell. There is just so much to say about a girl’s feelings after and during such a trauma and tragedy like this. I personally still cannot fully understand what I am feeling while it was going on and why, but I am trying to. I understand the position I was in, and above all, I certainly understand that it was not my fault! This is my story, and I hope to help other girls and women out there who have been through this complete abuse, torture, and heartache. So here is my story.

My Early Childhood

The Start of Stolen Innocence

I always knew I had some kind of gift. I remember things when I was almost three months old, even two years old, and so on! I remember a lot of things. I remember my first Valentine’s Day when I was almost three months old and told my mom years later that I remember Auntie picking me up and handing me to my mom and putting cards out for a picture. I remember my real daddy always lifting weights and cooking. I remember when I was about three years old him coming into my room when I screamed and had a nightmare and he hugged me I remembered all of my cousins playing outside on Locust Street. I always had great memories. My best memories were of my auntie Lillian, my uncles Sonny Ralph, my brother Joe, my sister Kathy, and all of my cousins who made me laugh. Unfortunately, also, my mom was always on welfare because of my father’s illnesses. But she did the best she could, entertained all members of the family, cooked, laughed, and helped everyone she could as well as us. She had all of our Italian family traditions and really tried too hard to be the best mom and wife to a sick man with no money or car. Unfortunately, I was sexually abused at the age of four for the first time by my father’s best friend Ryan.

My stepfather wasn’t the first to sexually abuse me. I was first sexually abused at the age of four. My dad moved his best friend, Ryan, in with us temporarily. My dad felt bad for him because he had little money and no place to live. He had been my dad and mom’s friend for years. My dad trusted him very much. My father did not trust many people. My mother loved him also, as well as my whole entire family. Everyone loved Ryan. He was fun! He was to