Cindy's Story

By CK Demps

Book Summary


This book was written with the hope it will touch and help someone that has gone through and struggled with similar situations. Whether you have gone through them personally or know someone who has, this book should give you an inside view of the feelings of hurt and betrayal. This is a story that covers everything from growing up with parents that abused drugs to being a single mother/parent in my adult life. It is the memories of a small child growing up in a home filled with chaos, along with feeling scared and alone. From start to finish I have had issues to deal with like losing someone to suicide at a young age to being homeless after graduation. I hope this book is encouraging to you no matter what has happened in your life. I will try and give some advice that has helped me cope along with comfort and direction to guide you to the right path. I hope I can help many of you, but if I reach out to just one, then this book is a success. From childhood to my adult life, I have dealt with a lot of circumstances. You Are Not Alone!


I want to share my life with you and help you through tough times.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jan 21, 2008
• ISBN: 9781465328649

CK Demps

About the Author I am CK Demps and I am a single mother of two writing my first book. I have an eight year old boy and a six year old daughter that keep me on the go 24 hours a day. I work full time for a fortune 500 company in Ohio. Besides writing and giving motivational talks, I enjoy spending time outdoors with my children and watching football on Sundays. This will not be the only book I write, I have already started working on a book dedicated to single parents along with writing Children's books in the future. I hope you enjoy my writing and that it helps give you helpful insight as to how to deal with your day to day issues that can occur.

Book preview

Cindy’s Story

CK Demps

Copyright © 2008 by CK Demps.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

This book was printed in the United States of America.

To order additional copies of this book, contact:

Xlibris Corporation

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

[e-mail]

42837

Contents

Acknowledge

Preface

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Dedication

I would like to dedicate this book to the loved ones I have lost over the years. Every one of them made an impact in my life. To Ed whom I still miss today and wish we could have grown old together. You were truly like a brother to me and I miss you dearly. Also to my uncle John, who died too young of cancer. I am glad we got to know each other before you died and I hope I make you proud. You truly helped bring me out of my quiet shell and look at me now.

Acknowledge

I would like to acknowledge my mother for being there with me and doing the best she could with raising my brother and I. Although we have had our struggles I am a much better person today because of the challenges we have faced together. We have a stronger bond today than I ever thought we could and I want to say thank you. I would also like to let my brother know that I am proud of what he has done with not only his life, but his family as well. I know we are not close anymore, but I think of you often and wish you the very best. Even though we have been through rough times, you are my brother and I love you.

The love that I have felt with my aunt and her family will never be forgotten. You really opened your home and heart to me through my adult years and I am grateful. Not only with her family, but also her friends. They know who they are; they named me the fun girl.

Preface

My life started out just as normal as anyone else’s, or so I thought. I was always shy and bashful compared to most kids my age, and I never gave it much thought. I was liked by my peers and invited to their slumber parties and such, but I always felt a little different. Not in a negative way, but in a way of always being reserved, and I had my guard up at all times. When I can first remember bits and pieces of my childhood, I was in preschool orkindergarten. I never thought my life was any different from others I knew. As I have been soul-searching, I mean really searching; all of my past and even present seems to be so clear to me now. I have always known and felt a higher power and always known there is a reason for everything that happens. There are so many aspects of my life to share, and my goal is to help every person who reads this.

Let me share my intentions so we understand the purpose of this book. I have never thought of myself as extraordinary. I am your average American who has had ups and downs, but one thing that has always made me stick out is I love helping everyone. My intentions are to touch your heart and express that even though life is hard at times, hang in there and drive forward, and anything can be accomplished.

I hope that in some way I can reach out and share a story or feeling that has happened to each reader. Whether this is from growing up in drugs to feeling alone, death or suicide, anger all around, growing up faster than you should, child abuse, divorce, and being a single parent. These are all things that could happen to a person at some point in their life, and they all happened to me or been a part of my life. One or two things happen in the majority of people’s lives, but all of these have happened to me.

I was hesitant about writing this book because it has been in my past and a door I have chosen to close, but recently (within the last five years) I have realized that by sharing my experiences, I have helped so many people. I did not and do not want anyone to look at me or treat me any differently because of my experiences. That is why I chose not to tell it before now. I am only sharing this now because of the effects I have had on others since I have been open about my past. Everyone has a story and can touch a life if they choose to, and now it is time for me to help as many people as I can by sharing not only my experiences, but also insight on how to overcome what the circumstances are. I hope you get as much out of this as possible and begin a new life of hope and also find that greater gift that is inside us all.

Chapter 1

As far back as I can recall bits and pieces of my life were in preschool or kindergarten. I have few memories of this time, but what I can recall was not the best memories. I remember getting on the bus in the mornings, but mostly because it seemed liked I had a bloody nose, and the bus driver had to wait for me. The nosebleeds were not related to anything, but I recall where I lived, and that is how I know the school age. I played outside and had a rabbit named Bugs, but the memories of every day life are not too clear. My parents were not hippies, but they had the one characteristic from that time frame. They smoked marijuana, and I always felt uncomfortable. As far back as I remember that was normal for our life. I didn’t know any better and thought everyone’s parents did the same. I remember my uncle coming over and smoking in the backyard with my mom while my step dad was at work and my mom telling me not to tell. I got mad at her one day and told my step dad, Joe, and they got into a fight. Not a physical one, but a yelling match. I ran to my room and screamed as loud as I could until I didn’t hear it anymore. My mom told me afterward that it was my fault, so of course I felt guilty. I always did what my parents asked, and I did not argue or disobey; not that I was afraid, I just didn’t like confrontation even back then. I always remember my parents being there, but I don’t recall any real closeness between us, as a family should. My mom was a stay at home mom, and we ate dinner every night at four thirty when Joe got home. We didn’t have family talks or even any real conversations about our day. But we did always have dinner together as a family. That was and still is important to me.

I do not remember when my brother, Dan, and I were told that Joe was not our father. If I had to guess, it would have been around this time frame. I never knew my real dad, but at least we had a man in our lives, and we were not alone. We had always called Joe dad, so that was who he was to us. I tried calling him Joe a few times when I found out he was not our real dad, and he got mad, so we kept on calling him dad.

A few years later, it was clear to me that the lifestyle my parents chose was not a good one. Once we moved to a different house and a new elementary school, first grade, they started telling me that I wasn’t allowed to tell anyone what they did, smoke, because then I would be taken away from them. As a child in early elementary school, I was terrified. One of the things that parents and teachers tell us not to do is lie, yet my parents were saying, It is okay to lie about our smoking habit. After this, I realized that our lives were not like everyone else’s. I was quiet for the most part before they told me this, but after this, I went inside myself. Over the next few years, I did have friends at school, went to their parties, and enjoyed myself; but at the same time, I never opened up.

Once I got to be in about third or fourth grade, the party invites were not happening as often. After all, who would want to keep having me along if they were never allowed over to my house? We lived in a quiet neighborhood, so I started getting new friends who lived close by to hang out with after school. That was not so bad, and I didn’t need to have them spend the night since we played together all day. I did have a friend over once, but they had to leave before Joe came home, or he would be mad. Not abusive, but it would interfere with his after-work smoke time. If I did bring a friend home from the neighborhood, I had to go inside first and make sure they were not smoking and had an incense lit; and if not, I had to light one. So my friends had to stand outside while I made sure the house was okay before entering, and I was not allowed to have them there long. Of course, this got old. I asked my mom to quit since I learned at school how bad it was, but she said no, and my dad would not hear of it.

Ever since I can recall, I always wanted to be a model. It seemed like every time my mom and I went to a store, someone was saying how pretty I was and that I should be in modeling. My mom just smiled and said she knew and felt the same thing. I would ask her when we were by ourselves if I could be in modeling, and she just said she did not have the money and maybe next year. Every year I asked her the same thing, and her answer was always the same, Maybe next year, I don’t have the money. I gave up on that after years of asking, but I wanted to do something special. At school, they had tryouts for cheerleading. I figured that would be fun, and I could be with friends from school that way, and her answer was always the same as the modeling. I gave up altogether on asking her for anything that cost money since it was never important enough for her to do anything extra for what I wanted.

My parents had their friends, Diane and Dennis, come over for parties, which consisted of the four of them getting stoned. They would play their loud music and pass the joints along while Dan and I were out playing or in our rooms. I remember them coming over before from time to time, but nowadays they came over more frequently. Then they started bringing a boy with them who was about a year older than me. This was really cool to have all of us play together and not have to hide our parents’ habits. His name was Ed, and apparently, his mom was getting him every other weekend. So we started seeing them more and more, especially when she had Ed with her, which was really cool to me because it was like having another brother. He was able to stay at our house a lot since his parents were best friends with mine, so it didn’t interfere with Joe’s anytime habit. So Dan, Ed, and I were a trio most of the time. We all rode our bikes all day and had freedom. Then we started going our separate ways, and I hung out with the girls while Dan and Ed did their boy things. One day the boys were out riding and saw a few guys on four-wheelers in the woods, so naturally they had a closer look. Well, the guys let Dan and Ed ride the four-wheeler, and Ed got hurt. Dan found me and told me what happened—that Ed took off on the four-wheeler, and his leg caught on the exhaust and tore his skin off. They made up an excuse that they were jumping a stone on the ground, and his leg got caught up in his bike, and I had to come home with Dan to tell our parents with them. Diane was really mad and yelled a lot. She left and took Ed to the hospital, and our mom was very upset. I didn’t realize at the time why it was so traumatic for my mom, but I will get to that. The important thing was they bought the story.

I do remember on Sundays we always went for a family drive. I do not think we had a destination, but we drove. We did go to flea markets and the mall, or we just rode around to get out of the house and be a family. I hated these Sunday drives because my parents did not stop smoking with us in the car. I told them it made my stomach hurt, but they just thought I was being a baby and told me to quit complaining. I recall one Sunday we were driving, and my parents were telling us to always say no to drugs. However, their idea of this was to pass us the joint in the car to see if we would take it. Even though I hated it, I reached