When God Calls You Names

By Roxanne DeJarnatt

A traumatic breakdown and a job resignation followed by a diagnosis of beyond-stage-four cancer. A daughter close to death from a methamphetamine and heroin addiction. My life swerved sideways and tumbled into rapid somersaults before eventually emerging mostly right side up, again.

I could have walked away from the trauma and

• Language: English
• Publisher: Author Academy Elite
• Release date: Mar 18, 2024
• ISBN: 9798885832854

Book preview

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When God Calls You Names © 2024 by Roxanne DeJarnatt. All rights reserved.

Published by Author Academy Elite

PO Box 43, Powell, OH 43065

www.AuthorAcademyElite.com

All rights reserved. This book contains material protected under international and federal copyright laws and treaties. Any unauthorized reprint or use of this material is prohibited. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without express written permission from the author.

Identifiers:

LCCN: 2023923214

ISBN: 979-8-88583-283-0 (paperback)

ISBN: 979-8-88583-284-7 (hardback)

ISBN: 979-8-88583-285-4 (ebook)

Available in paperback, hardback, and e-book

Any Internet addresses (websites, blogs, etc.) and telephone numbers printed in this book are offered as a resource. They are not intended in any way to be or imply an endorsement by Author Academy Elite, nor does Author Academy Elite vouch for the content of these sites and numbers for the life of this book.

Some names and identifying details have been changed to protect the privacy of individuals.

This is for you, my miracle daughter

Sky

Always remember your mommy

loves you.

Contents

Author’s Note

Introduction

1.The Stench

2.Don’t Go Looking for a Fight

3.Do Something

4.The First Scent of Rebellion

5.The Slide

6.House of Cards

7.Deeper Into the Shadows

8.The C Word

9.Crunchy Hair

10.Little Black Dress

11.Who the Hell

12.A Warrior Stance

13.November 22

14.Name Calling and Ugly White Shoes

15.Onward

About the Author

Author's Note

Most of the names of individuals and church ministries in this book have been changed to preserve their anonymity. I’ve relied upon my own journals and memory, and these stories are meant to be shared from my own perspective.

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We are meant to overcome, each and every one of us.

And every time we overcome, we discover more of who we really are—our true identities.

By the very definition, overcoming means we have faced an obstacle or a battle in the first place. And a battle always requires courage to bring to the fight.

Maybe you’re like me and courage isn’t your first response when you face a challenge. Maybe you need some time to exercise your courage and allow it to grow bigger and bolder in the process.

Hopefully, it’ll help you to know courage doesn’t usually show up to the fight looking strong and muscular, like the one in charge. I’ve found that courage usually shows up surrounded by a band of bullies with names like doubt, fear, insecurity, shame, and discouragement. Courage is usually the one that seems least likely to win much of anything, but courage shows up, over and over again. And that’s the secret sauce of battles, my friend.

Showing up is the one thing you’ll recognize in all of my stories. It’s the one thing God pointed out to me in my darkest battles that I already possessed—the gumption to show up.

In my weakest moments, it’s all I had. No answers. No hope. No strength. All I had was the meager breath to show up in my life.

But come to find out, God has that same characteristic—He shows up. Even when we say we don’t believe He exists, He shows up. Even when we’re angry or hurt and completely ignore Him, He shows up. Even when we can’t see Him or hear Him, He shows up. He is with us even if we’re running away or crawling back to Him at a snail’s pace and in every scenario in between.

Even if the answers haven’t come or the outcome doesn’t look the way we think it should, doesn’t mean the story is finished. Maybe it’s a bigger story. Maybe the storyline is still being written. Maybe if we show up one more time, we’ll find something we hadn’t seen before, and maybe we’ll see a glimpse of the bigger story.

Sometimes a glimpse is just the hope we need.

I’ve found in all the years I’ve shown up for a battle, it is imperative to identify the enemy. How can we possibly win a war without first knowing who we’re fighting?

Although I’m sharing significant stories that have marked me in my life and repeatedly mention the warfare with an enemy I’ve come to know as the darkness in the supernatural—evil, hell, the demonic realm—I don’t live in my day-to-day life giving my focus or singular attention to the enemy. The enemy is only part of the equation and not even the most important part. I fully recognize my part regarding my own choices and responsibilities for my downfalls. I’m responsible for my choices, and I know for sure many are not in my best interest. I don’t have to blame an enemy for everything wrong that happens to me.

Still, wherever we find ourselves in our warrior journey, it’s important to decipher the source of what is motivating us to move forward and what is holding us back. If we don’t, we’ll continue to repeat the patterns that lead us in unfruitful directions or frozen in anxiety and self-doubt.

Ultimately, a warrior looks at all of the options, to the back and side to side, and realizes that forward is the only way to go. A warrior feels the walls and landscape of the battle, not fully knowing what is ahead, but places one foot in front of the other, pressing toward the goal.

There are variations of this illustration, but you’ve almost certainly heard it in one form or another—where several people are viewing an elephant through a small hole in a fence, all from different angles and all having different perspectives because of their limited view.

One person might say an elephant looks like large floppy ears. Someone else might explain an elephant as a long trunk. Another person sees the elephant as a wisp of a scraggly tail.

That’s what it would be like if we shared our perspectives of a warrior. We might see the description being formed with words like strong, courageous, mighty, brave, and victorious. But let’s be real, that’s not you or me every moment of every day.

So often, we see warriors in the light of their victory, chin up, sword in the air, and foot planted on the chest of their fallen enemy. But warriors are ever so much their moments in the dark valleys and faces planted in the mud, tear-stained faces and searching for hope. We are our battle scars. We are what we’ve lost, held fast by what we receive in the process of redemption. We are our entire story.

I want you to know that when you look in the mirror, you are seeing the face of an incredible warrior.

Much of the time, you will only see yourself through the smaller lens of the here and right now. You may only see something similar to the trunk or the floppy ears and find it hard to believe you have what it takes to conquer your battles and fulfill your dreams. And there are days when we absolutely shudder because all we see are our huge, wrinkly cankles. Those are the days we doubt we can even lift our heavy feet and plant them into tomorrow.

Whether you are moving through a present-day battle or will encounter one in your future, to learn you are an overcomer with a heart of a genuine warrior may be the sip of hope you need for strength along the journey.

It always helps me to read about someone else’s imperfect path—humility and humanity are the best teachers. I assure you, I offer a wealth of imperfection in my stories. And since the ones I’ve already fumbled through are firmly fastened into the bigger story, my hope is that they’ll bring encouragement and glimpses of hope for you.

No matter what battle you may be facing, I’m with you, fellow warrior, and shouting our battle cry—

Swords up! Onward!

Chapter 1

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It had been days filled with only the agony of Sky detoxing from meth and heroin. With each relapse, it seemed the process of detox was more intense. I watched my only daughter left in this world struggle to survive, and I was doing all I knew to help her make it through. It was late evening, and we were sitting on the futon in our bonus room, going through the prayers we knew to pray.

It was at that moment when I called out—now go in Jesus’ name—pointing my finger in the air that I heard the back door fling open with its familiar pitchy creak and squeak.

I ran into the utility room to find out what had happened. In the darkness, I saw my husband Gary walking towards our home from his office building about twenty feet away. His face was scrunched as he asked, What’s that smell?

I stepped out onto the deck and was met with an overwhelming foul odor.

Is that a skunk? Gary asked with his still puzzled look.

I knew even though I had never personally smelled rotting flesh before that this odor seemed similar to what I thought it would smell like—distinctly revolting with a hint of off-putting sweetness.

No, that’s definitely not a skunk. It smells like rotting flesh to me.

I pulled my sweater up over my nose and held it there as I looked in the direction of the crematorium. We lived on an acre of land and there was a large cemetery on nearby acreage. We had lived on our land for almost twenty years and had never smelled any odor from the crematorium. Not even once. My mind was racing as I tried to make sense of what seemed to be beyond our normal senses. I was exhausted, but even if I wanted to, I knew I couldn’t retreat into our home and close my eyes and make it all go away.

I told Sky