The Air That Drives Relationships: The right air in a relationship is the key to a successful relationship.

By Donald H. Wood

Have you ever wondered what are the basic driving forces that make or break all relationships? If so, this book is for you. And although much has been written about the dynamics of love and relationships nothing, in my opinion, has been written about the basic attributes that drive all relationships. These attributes can be summed up in the term

• Language: English
• Publisher: Book Writing Pioneer
• Release date: Feb 14, 2024
• ISBN: 9798869190277

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Copyright © 2024 by Donald H. Wood

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Printed in United States of America

Published by Book Writing Pioneer

Contents

Introduction

CHAPTER 1

Negative A-I-R Attribute of Alienation

CHAPTER 2

The Negative A-I-R  Attribute of Indifference

CHAPTER 3

The Negative A-I-R  Attribute of Rejection

CHAPTER 4

The Positive A-I-R  Attribute of Affection

CHAPTER 5

The Positive A-I-R Attribute of Intimacy

CHAPTER 6

The Positive A-I-R  Attribute of Romance

Summary and Conclusion

Suggested Reading

About The Author

Introduction

I think we can all agree that there has been a tremendous amount of advice and information written about love and relationships. However, I think that what makes up the basic attributes for all good and bad relationships can be found in one simple acronym - A-I-R which can also be expressed in a triangle form shown below. In addition, I believe, you will find, in all relationships the driving force of either positive air that sustains that relationship, or negative air that will eventually cause the relationship to fail.

Positive air causes a relationship to rise and soar through life’s ups and downs. The couple becomes, in essence, the air under their partner’s wings. Positive air in a relationship always keeps a couple on top of life, floating in the clouds, so to speak, immersed in their shared love together.

In contrast, negative air takes the joy, peace, and shared love out of a relationship, causing the relationship to sink to the bottom of life’s pitfalls, never finding, if left unattended, enough air to rise to the top again.

Although the positive and negative attributes are listed separately, they work synergistically in the form of a triangle. At the center of the positive air attributes is love and at the center of the negative attributes is dispassion.  

This book will explore the attributes of both positive and negative air in relationships as either fundamental building or stumbling blocks in all relationships. Attributes that include affection, intimacy, romance, alienation, indifference, and rejection.

As stated previously there has been a tremendous amount of literature written about the subject of love, couples, breakups, and relationships in general. Much of this information is derived from people’s and couples’ personal experiences and from what they have learned from others. However, in my opinion, none have truly addressed the root causes of both the good and the bad relationships. I’m talking about the basics, which I believe can be summarized with the above captioned positive and negative AIR acronym triangle.

If you take a close look at the larger triangle which illustrates the connection and interaction of the four smaller triangles, you will find that the top triangle contains the attributes of Affection and Alienation.

Affection at the top of the triangle indicates the positive flow of emotional commitment in a relationship. Whereas, alienation, at the bottom of the triangle, indicates the negative flow of emotional commitment in a relationship.

The bottom left triangle contains the attributes of Intimacy and Indifference. Intimacy, at the top of the triangle, indicates the positive flow of emotional commitment in a relationship. Whereas, indifference, at the bottom of the triangle, indicates the negative flow of emotional commitment in a relationship.

The bottom right triangle contains the attributes of Romance and Rejection. Romance, at the top of the triangle, indictes the positive flow of emotional commitment in a relationship. Whereas, rejection, at the bottom of the triangle, indicates the negative flow of emotional commitment in a relationship.

Finally, the center triangle contains both, the positive attribute of Love and the negative attribute of Dispassion. This triangle is connected to the other three triangles on three corners indicating that the positive attribute of love is directly attached to the attributes of affection, intimacy, and romance which are the foundational attributes in the positive AIR acronym.

In contrast, the negative attribute of dispassion is directly attached to the negative attributes of alienation, indifference, and rejection which are the foundational attributes in the negative AIR acronym.

CHAPTER 1

Negative A-I-R

Attribute of Alienation

Alienation occurs when you stop feeling a part of something or someone important in your life.

Before we explore the positive air attribute of affection, intimacy, and romance we will look at the negative attributes because as with everything positive, there is always an opposite or negative. That is how it is with relationships. In the next three chapters, we will explore how the negative air attributes, which include alienation, indifference, and rejection, can negatively affect, and eventually end a relationship. In this first chapter, we will explore the negative air attribute ALIENATION.

When we look at the Merriam-Webster dictionary we find that the word alienation is defined as:

"A withdrawing or separation of a person’s affections from an object or position of former attachment."

Whereas Dictionary.com defines alienation as:

"The act of alienating or causing someone to become indifferent or

hostile."

What’s interesting about the Merriam-Webster definition is that it addresses the fact that once the negative air aspect of alienation enters a relationship it causes a withdrawal or separation of a person’s affection. In addition, the words disaffect and estrange are common synonyms of alienate. While all three words mean to cause one to break a bond of affection or loyalty, alienate may not suggest separation but always implies loss of affection or interest. Affection, of course, is the first positive air attribute that will be discussed in chapter four.

In addition, the second definition as found in Dictionary.com points to the fact that alienation not only plays into the negative air attribute of indifference (which will be the topic of discussion in chapter two) but also points to the fact that alienation, once it has run its course, can lead to hostility which directly relates to regrets, reluctance, and resentment all which help in the understanding of the negative air attribute of rejection.

How many times have you heard that the reason for a couple parting ways comes down to the fact that they simply grew apart or they just stopped loving each other? I’m sure you’ve heard these and many other generic reasons for couples parting ways. But if you really think about the question, what comes to mind is, "What preceded, caused, or brought about this change of heart resulting in the break-up?"

One thing is for sure, it seems that just as fast a couple gets together, they seem to break up equally as fast. I say this because all one must do is look at divorce statistics and you’ll find that the divorce rate in the U.S. is 3.2 per 1,000 people as of 2014. Almost 50 percent of marriages in the United States will end in divorce or separation. It may seem unbelievable but every 13 seconds there is a divorce in the U.S. With these kinds of stats that just deal with married folks, one can only wonder how fast unmarried folks break up daily. In fact, most of us can personally testify to break-ups we have witnessed in our social groups and circles. For example, since the pandemic hit the US in 2019, married couples have been divorcing at an even more alarming rate. One of the couples in my neighborhood who lives directly across the street from me, whom my wife and I have known since they moved into the neighborhood over twenty years ago, just recently decided to call it quits. Besides them breaking up and divorcing what’s even more interesting, as I have said before, are the factors or causes that led to the divorce. Some of the common reasons for divorce as found on Dictionary.com include:

Lack of commitment…………………...73 percent

Argue too much………………………….56 percent.

Infidelity………………………………………55 percent

Married too young………………………46 percent.

Unrealistic expectations……………...45 percent

Lack of preparation for marriage...41 percent

Domestic violence or abuse…………25 percent

If you notice at the highest percentage level is "lack of commitment" which directly relates to alienation as defined by the Merriam-Webster dictionary because if you’re withdrawing or separating your affections from your significant other, you are, in essence, alienating yourself from the relationship.

As the statistics indicate, alienation or lack of commitment can be seen as playing a major role in divorces, but I think it also plays a major role in all break-ups and is thus, the leading attribute in the negative air in a relationship.

It is also important to bear in mind that the current generation is not a big fan of marriage. Instead of the tradition of marrying, which involves lawful and godly commitment, they opt for just "shacking up." And of course, shacking up allows them to easily go from one relationship to another without any regard for lasting commitment. Unfortunately, it seems, that the only time all family members come together is during a