One of the most important decisions anyone can make is who you choose to spend your life with. Marriage impacts us emotionally, socially, legally, financially, and in so many other ways. While the divorce rate in America is dropping, so is the marriage rate. That means married couples understand marriage is important, we might not know exactly where to turn for good advice. Today, I sat down with Kimberly Holmes, the CEO of Marriage Helper, to learn more about the reasons why marriages end and what couples can do to save them. Kimberly explores three broad categories of marriage trouble, details some of the warning signs, and outlines steps that we can take today to be better partners tomorrow.  https://youtu.be/WEPKztSpgE4 The Top Three Reasons Marriages End You’ve probably heard it said that money ends marriages. You might have also heard of people divorcing because they didn’t get along. It turns out that those common explanations aren’t the biggest reasons why marriages end. Kimberly says that research from the University of Washington shows that the main reasons that marriages end can be divided into three broad categories ... not feeling: Liked, Loved, or Respected  So where does money come into play? Often times, financial issues are symptomatic of something bigger. When a couple divorces due to finances, they are not on the same page. As a result, that can often lead to one partner feeling continually disrespected. That’s not to say that money can’t take a toll on someone’s marriage or relationship--it can and it does. In fact, financial problems are often symptomatic of a core issue--like a lack of respect--impacting the couple.  What Does It Mean to Feel Liked? Often times, people treat the idea of liking someone and loving someone interchangeably. Other times, we might think of love as the next step after we already like someone. Not so, says Kimberly. There is a difference between like and love, and partners crave feeling both.  When you feel liked, you have the sense that your spouse wants to be around you and wants to interact with you on a daily basis. Kimberly says that there are ways to evaluate this in your own relationship. Do you like your partner's presence? Do you enjoy spending time together? Do you want to converse and interact with them often? Thinking about how you would answer these questions about your partner and then considering how they might answer should unlock more insight into what it means to feel liked in a marriage. What Does It Mean to Feel Loved? Love is more than day-to-day interaction and wanting to spend time with someone. That is why Kimberly is so quick to point out that feeling loved is different than feeling liked. To feel loved is to feel that your partner puts you first. When we feel loved, we feel that our partner is selfless. They consider our needs before their own. According to St. Sternberg’s Triangular Theory, there are three aspects to love: Intimacy Passion Commitment A couple who is in love is committed to the relationship, even if things aren’t going well. There is a craving to be one, and there is a deep connection between partners.  What Does It Mean to Feel Respected? People often give and believe incorrect advice: men need respect and women need love. Kimberly emphasizes just how inaccurate this is. She says that every human craves to be liked, loved, and respected in their relationship. Kimberly elaborates further, saying that respect is key, no matter the person.  Understanding how finances impact your marriage can help you also understand what it means to be respected in a marriage. For instance, if one person in the relationship wants to save 10% of their income and the other person chooses to spend differently regardless of their partner’s ambitions, this can be a sign of disrespect. Couples don’t have to be in total alignment or agreement with every value and want; instead, it is important to