Body Language: Avoid Miscommunication, Improve Personal Relationships, and Learn to Read People (Volume 1,2, and 3)

By Judie Hassler

This title contains a combo of 3 books, namely:

 

Book 1: If you’re looking to boost your social skills, then this is the right book.

 

If you want to learn more about nonverbal communication, then this is the right book.

 

If you’re open to learning more about flirting, communicating with colleagues, etc. then this is definitely the right book.

 

There are a lot of other reasons to get this book. You will discover more differences between extroverts and introverts, how some are more into listening and others are more into visuals, and so many more things. So don’t wait. Enlighten your mind with this great source of information.

 

 

Book 2: Why are so many people so bad at listening? Or am I just a complainer? Well, the truth is, it’s become harder and harder for people to pay attention. Social media, technology, and our fast-paced society have all contributed to that.

In this guide, we’ll address the problem, as well as some hardcore tips and suggestions to help you become a better listener and likable communication guru. Other than that, we’ll show you the ropes of seeing through someone’s nonverbal messages, body language, negotiation tactics, sales techniques, flirtatious moves, and much more. Body language is at the root of most of what we’re actually saying, even though it doesn’t always appear that way.

 

Last but not least, you’ll find out how to use small talk, become more social, and eliminate some social anxiety or awkwardness you might have. Even when you think you’re doing pretty well, you could still use some of this advice. So don’t stall and get to it! We’ll see you inside the book.

 

 

Book 3: This guide is perfect for understanding more about body language, eye contact, and all those hidden messages that aren’t coming out of your mouth.

 

People reveal a lot just by the way they move their eyes, the subtle cues they show, and the way they move. Adie from that, we’ll look into the differences of male and female communication, how to analyze your audience when you’re talking to people, and how to become more extroverted (if that’s what you want).

Last but not least, this book shows a tip of the iceberg of theories from Jung and Freud, and the famous social learning theory that has often been challenged. All these things can help you understand yourself, human interaction, and the personality of others better. So don’t wait and begin reading or listening to this book now!

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookRix
• Release date: Jan 20, 2020
• ISBN: 9783748726920

Book preview

Table of Contents

Chapter 1: The Significance of Body Language

The topic of body language, or nonverbal communication, is an interesting one. Body language has always fascinated people. We have always wanted to understand the message behind the words; we have always would like to know what people really mean by a glance, a blush or a gesture.

Now we have realized not only that we can use body language to analyze other individuals' actions, but that we can also use it to give ourselves increased effectiveness in life. Now body talk can help us be successful in life, in love and at work.

Humans have probably always understood instinctively that our non-verbal communication is just as crucial as our verbal communication. How many of us were told when young to 'stand straight as our parents realized that would make us look more intelligent, attractive or excellent. Now research has shown that if we change the way we present ourselves to the world-with good friends, at work and in love we stand a much greater chance of success.

This book clarifies how to improve your nonverbal communication, and the specifically commissioned illustrations show you what works and what does not It motivates you to examine and interpret others' body language so that you can tell beforehand how to react to them, and then adapt your own body language for optimal effect.

Chapter 2: Reading Others’ Minds

If your aim is to get the most out of life, then what you need is 'body language.' The research study of body language-the art of non-verbal communication-- is perhaps the most amazing and helpful development in individual psychology today. It adds a whole new measurement to what you can understand about people and a whole new set of possibilities regarding what you can accomplish in the world.

Humans use various channels of communication. Yet, regardless of thousands of years of human development, we have related to only the verbal channels as essential-- what we say and what we write. It's only during the last forty years or so that we've realized that there's an entire channel-- non-verbal communication that is just as essential as words, because it gives us just as much, if not more, information about what people are thinking and feeling. Some estimates suggest that up to 93 percent of the information we receive about any circumstance comes non-verbally rather than verbally. So, whenever you chat with a friend, ask your boss for a raise or set out to seduce, what you do may be up to thirteen times as information-packed as what you say.

Mind-reading

Body language not only gives you extra information about other individuals and about yourself, it also gives you different info While individuals' words tell you only what they consciously want you to know, their nonverbal communication tells you a whole variety of other things, much of which they might not know they're exposing, or perhaps understand themselves. People's basic personality, the role they're playing the feelings they feel, the direction of their ideas, their relationships with others-- not to mention what they actually think about you-body language communicates it all. And whereas individuals' words can hide a plethora of tricks, their nonverbal communication is much more tough to fake.

Similarly, naturally, your own nonverbal communication will whether you like it or not-transmit information about yourself to others. And studies have shown that what you 'say' non-verbally is typically a lot more influential than what you say verbally, not only as it bypasses the mindful mind of a listener and speaks straight to his or her subconscious, but also since people rather rightly trust non-verbal messages more than they trust words. The bad news is that your nonverbal communication is making declarations about you all the time, and some of these might be things you are attempting to hide. The good thing is that properly and truly used, body language can state what you couldn't perhaps say aloud, in a way that truly reaches other people. I am proficient ... I really need your support ...! like you. I love you.'

Body movement isn't only about communication, though. What psychologists have realized over the past decade is that if you change your nonverbal communication, you can actually change all kinds of things about your technique to life. You can, for example, alter your mood before going to a celebration, develop a much better feeling toward your partner or feel more positive at work. And, obviously, if your nonverbal communication really moves, and you interact in a different way with people around you, then they in turn will respond in a different way to you-so that the way you forecast yourself to others will be shown back to you, in a neat circular process.

Words of warning

Since nonverbal communication is such an effective tool, you need to make sure when using it. So, before you start, several words of care!

First, it's a myth that body language enables you to read a person like a book. This theory. which was an effort to 'alphabetize' non-verbal communication by specifying a single gesture as having a single meaning, was initially fashionable in the sixties. If people scratched their noses, that meant they were lying. It didn't matter whether they were scratching because their nose itched, since they were anxious or since nose-scratching was an essential ritual in their subculture-they were still seen as lying. Nowadays, we know it's just not that basic. Body movement aspects vary in meaning, and can be understood only in the setting of an individual's life circumstance.

Second, using body language effectively isn't about ignoring the words. Though we human entities are apes-and a lot of the body language sequences we use come directly from those developed by apes-- we are nonetheless talking apes. Therefore, much of this book is about using nonverbal communication along with the words, to stress them, to elaborate on them, to manage them or even to oppose them. To be a very real body language specialist, use your non-verbal skills in addition to, not instead of, your verbal ones.

Finally, do not think you can use body language to get others to do what you want. People aren't fools. If you try applying non-verbal methods so as to control somebody into liking you then naturally they will react to what you do - but they're going to also respond far more strongly to those of your actions that reveal your control. They'll sign up, often automatically, your false smile, your moving eyes, your anxious stutter-- and will act accordingly. So if you're expecting to be able to rule the world through nonverbal communication, you are going to be disappointed.

Practice makes perfect

How can you best use nonverbal communication? The initial step is to develop your powers of observation, collecting as much knowledge as possible when you engage with others. Looking is the most apparent way and probably the channel through which you're going to acquire most information. Listen, too, not so much to individuals' real words but to the way those words are said, the way voices sound as people speak. Your other three senses, touch, smell and taste, can also tell you an unexpected amount: the heat and moisture of a coworker's handshake can give you important clues regarding how positive he is about the meeting, a good friend's body odor will actually move if she ends up being afraid throughout a scary movie; a lover's taste will change as he ends up being aroused.

As you be more expert, you will be able to notice not only the more apparent macro-clues, like individuals' gestures or facial expressions. You'll also be able to identify the much more subtle and a lot more fascinating 'micro clues.' So, though initially you may spot only the macro clue of someone's mad clenched fist, in time you are going to also register the micro-clue of their skin color change when they just begin feeling inflamed. With practice, your mastery of micro-clues will let you understand - and even anticipate - just how those around you are thinking and feeling, and so be one step ahead all the time.

Pay more attention to your own body language, too: you yourself are a major source of info, Monitor your external signs, seeing how, as you respond to what's going on, your body position changes, your motions adjust your voice alters, your breathing shifts. Screen, too, the internal signals that only you are well aware of the butterflies in your stomach that tell you are delighted, the tension headache that alerts you to stress, the internal picture of your lover's face when you think of him, the internal noise of a good friend's voice when you imagine talking with her. These are vital signs of what your body is telling you.

Chapter 3: Finding Clues

To know just what to keep an eye out for, you need a body movement vocabulary. The following are the vital elements of this, the ones on which this book is based:

APPEARANCE: Look at an individual's height, their natural skin, hair and eye color, their body shape. Within the limitations of plastic surgery and the camouflage of outfits, all these things can tell you accurately what a person's gender is, their age. racial background and culture.

STYLE AND IMAGE: Notice clothes, hairdo, makeup, devices. These generally show you momentary things, such as age, the style sub-culture with which an individual identifies, their status in society, what sort of job they have and their leisure interests.

POSTURE: Notice especially the way someone stands, how they arrange their body, the angle at which they hold their body and head, and the direction in which their limbs are pointing. These components cannot only give clues to permanent things such as training and age. but can also reveal passing thoughts and feelings, particularly interest respect and approval.

GESTURE AND MOVEMENT: These are particularly crucial when used with words, stressing and adding psychological markers' to speech, rather like the punctuation marks that can give extra meaning to written words. Everyone may well also have an individualized set of gestures he or she regularly uses-look especially at torso and limb movements, gestures of hands and feet, and head nods and shakes.

FACIAL EXPRESSION: Irreversible facial lines built up in time tell us about character, notice the 'try hard' wrinkles between an individual's eyebrows, or the tiny, inward mouth lines that represent a keeping' personality. Also crucial are short lived facial expressions like frowns, which show you how a person thinks, feels and relates moment to moment.

EYE MOTION: We give and receive more information from the eyes than from any other part of the body. They're especially vital for showing state of minds and relationships between people -lovers look, rivals look, while liars often stay away from eye contact. Pay attention to gaze direction, eye shape, pupil size, length of look and what the eyebrows do.

VOICE: Words aren't part of nonverbal communication, but the voice that speaks them is. Voice gives a wealth of information about standard background: culture, class, age, sex, birth place, color, race. Some studies even suggest that you can tell an individual's height from their voice. Variations in volume, pitch and rhythm also demonstrate how we feel and whether something is very important to us.

SMELL AND TASTE: Everybody has an individual odor and taste 'signature' that develops in the mouth and in body hair. It can signify an individual's general health, food choices and emotions of anger, fear or sexual arousal. Smell and taste are also crucial in creating a bond between people.

ENVIRONMENT: Body language is about more than just what people do. It's also about the non-verbal declarations they make when they develop their environment. Architecture, room size, furniture style, light and temperature level choices, personal privacy needs, in the house and at work, can all tell you what is very important to someone, their standard personality and how they associate with others.

TOUCH: Touch, or lack of it, demonstrates how close people are and typically shows that strong emotion is being shared. Touch is also used in discussion to highlight a point, and in power relationships to show control and supremacy.

PHYSICAL FUNCTIONS: The body's physical functions, like breathing patterns, heart-rate, blood pressure, skin color, sweat levels, skin temperature and body fluids, show what somebody is feeling. They are instantaneous signals both of physical sensation and of emotional reaction.

INTERNAL BODY signs: The messages you give from inside are just as much a function of nonverbal communication as those it manifests on the outside. Know any internal photos or sounds that you experience when you think of a person or something. Understand where any internal experience is, and what it feels like-moving or still, heavy or light, warm or cold, relaxed or tense.

Translating the message Once you've learned to observe carefully and properly, then you can begin to work out the meaning of what you're noticing. This isn't as easy as it may appear. As has been mentioned before, one single component of body language might not always have just one particular meaning but several different ones, depending on the specific setting and circumstance.

First, think of a person's background when interpreting what they do.

Chapter 4: Roots in Culture

Everybody's body language has its roots in their society and upbringing: we learn the vast majority of our nonverbal skills when we are children from the grownups around us. Obviously there are general signals that everyone uses, so most nonverbal communication you see will fit the descriptions in this book (though these descriptions are based mostly on Western research and so won't always apply to people from simply African, Asian or Middle Eastern cultures).

Similarly, an individual's body language will always be personalized. Your buddy's irritated blink may, for instance, be your associate's indication of uneasiness. So if you analyze your colleague's nonverbal communication as suggesting the exact same as that of your friend, you're going to spend a good deal of time wondering why she is inflamed with you and attempting unnecessarily to calm her down. Watch individuals' patterns in time to get what nonverbal specialists call 'baseline conduct, which is their regular way of acting.

Also, when you observe a single aspect of nonverbal communication, take a look at completely what else is going on in the circumstance in which you see it What can you tell from the person's whole body to get a complete image of what is going on? What are their other body signals saying, do they validate your interpretation or contradict it? How are other people reacting to what is happening do they see things in a different way from the way you do? What took place prior to and just after what you have seen that will help put it in context and give it more meaning?

You should also keep an eye out for brief set sequences of body language signals that always take place together, for instance, when a person is shocked by an unexpected noise, chuckles to launch the stress, then unwinds with a sigh. By being able to read not only the single cues-- the words of body language-but also these sequences-or 'sentences'-- you are going to have the ability to comprehend much more about what is going on.

When such a series has developed and ended up being elegant in human social interaction- such as the complex, non verbal routine we go through when we bid farewell to a person.

it typically has a different meaning from a spontaneous sequence so be prepared to interpret it differently.

You'll also, with practice, be able to spot broad patterns in a person's body language, where some components integrate to tell you something more general than just how they're feeling at this exact moment. Clusters of signals in the way a person stands, looks and talks can show you what sort of person they're or what their attitude to a particular aspect of life is.

Acting Once you have observed and analyzed either your own or another person's body language, then you can act.

You can use body language to get more of what you want to achieve success in what you do, to create closer bonds with others, to help or support friends or lovers and to improve your confidence.

When doing something about it, you have 3 choices Surprisingly, the first and typically the best choice is simply to let your own body language instincts take control of. For everybody communicates nonverbally, all the time, as a natural, unconscious part of their lives.

If a buddy is sobbing and you feel miserable for her, then you will instantly lean forward, and your eyes will spontaneously get a gleam of wetness that indicates your empathy. You don't really need purposely to decide to do this your body will naturally and effectively mirror your emotions. So, in tons of situations, trusting your impulses is the best option.

Your 2nd option in any situation is to talk. As already discussed, speaking is in some cases the best way to explore a problem, share experiences or offer convenience. Recall, however, that when you speak, you will also be interacting nonverbally. This book will not only help you tell when words are most proper, but guide you towards using genuinely effective nonverbal communication to highlight and support those words.

Your final option enters into play when you decide to use some element of nonverbal communication deliberately, or to intentionally change what you would naturally do. It may be that you feel understanding to a good friend, but do not know the best non-verbal way to show that. Or it could be that your natural expressions of sympathy aren't working and you really need more alternatives. If so, this book will help by outlining what develops success in non verbal communication, and by suggesting ways you can attain that success for yourself.

The real work is, obviously, up to you. You need to gather information about nonverbal communication, to start analyzing that information, to practice till you can use body language quickly and it has the influence you want. Even if you accomplish all this, body language may not be the answer to all your problems-but it will help you make the most of what you think, what you feel, what you do, and-perhaps most essential of all-who you are.

Chapter 5: Face People in Communication

From the very first real moment you communicate with another human being, your mutual nonverbal communication is in continuous communication. You are telling them about yourself by the way you look, the way you move, the expression on your face and the tone of your voice - and if this sounds just too revealing, then assure yourself with the fact that they are telling you really all about themselves in the same way.

This section of the book looks at how the procedure talked about above happens through social body language: how you can translate precisely what others are communicating to you, and how you in turn can be most effective in what you communicate to them. It takes you through the steps from the initial meeting to holding a conversation, from comprehending an individual - moment to moment, to evaluating their character with time. It explores how to make and keep friends, how to protect your time alone and how to respect that of other people-and finally how to make it through when you move from one to-one contact into the world at big.

Nice to meet you

When you initially meet a person, you have just ten seconds to make an impression on them. Orto put it another way, in the first 10 seconds after meeting a new person, you will be making a particular impression on them whether you like it or not. Before you even open your mouth to speak, you non-verbally inscribe the other person with your personality-- the image you present to the world-coming right across as reliable or ineffectual, confident or worried, friendly or standoffish. Even with somebody you have met in the past, you can identify the entire tone of your contact by what your body language communicates at the very start.

Let's begin, then, with the fundamentals. How do you at first make contact? The most important way people normally do so is with their eyes, so use yours effectively. Do not use an off putting stare but do keep your eyes on the person you will greet so that, when they turn to you, you are prepared to meet their look. If you open your eyes just partially more commonly than typical, this approximates the short lived 'eyebrow flash that humans give spontaneously when they acknowledge another person, and which will immediately make your companion feel welcomed and appreciated.

After the initial greeting, follow through that eye contact. People naturally turn towards those that they appreciate and value, so let your body and head direction concentrate on the other person, and fight any temptation to look or move away. Turning away signals. 'I fidget ...,' I feel inferior to you ... You'll be far more outstanding if you deal with straight, lean in partially and display confidence and friendliness with a smile. (A great technique to remember if you're feeling nervous and finding the encounter challenging is to smile rapidly and commonly 3 or 4 times, instead of try to maintain a fixed smile, which will die away slowly and embarrassingly).

Then you will be prepared to move into a formal greetings ritual involving words and touch. The direction in which your body is turned and angled towards the other person can automatically extend itself into offering your hand to be shaken. Don't be shy of this; humans are configured to feel closer to a person they have touched, so losing out that part of the routine means you lose the chance to develop a bond. An idea from politicians, by the way, is to forget stressing over what to say, and simply repeat the person's name as you look and touch. This not only makes your companion feel essential but links the person's name and face in your mind, making recall easier.

Throughout that, obviously, you will not be acting in a vacuum. The other person will be giving you clear signals regarding whether they authorize of what you're doing. Keep examining continuously to see how friendly or official they want to be, and after that adjust those five separate aspects of your greeting: eye contact, body lean, smile, touch and words. If meeting an opponent in a crucial sports match, for example, you might want to tone down the smile and shake hands crisply and quickly. But if your sister's new fiancé seems to think he should kiss you on both cheeks and you want to make him feel at ease, relocation closer in reaction to his prolonged forward lean, and determine from his movement just the correct time to offer initially one cheek, then the other.

Chapter 6: Strong Ties

However long you've known an individual and whatever the setting of your relationship, there'll be a short phase of 'settling in after the initial greetings are over. Outwardly, you might seem just to be exchanging fundamental information about yourselves, in simple fact, on a non-verbal level there will be a lot more going on as you align your individual nonverbal communication styles to adjust to that complementary nonverbal communication rhythm called "rapport.

Attaining rapport is an instinctive human skill Children do it even before birth, when their heart beats and body functions have a rhythm that matches those of their mom. By several months old, they will already have learned the other main component of rapport, turn-taking'- Baby gurgles and smiles, Mother responds with a coo and a smile, Child gurgles and smiles again.

As adults, we no longer resort to gurgling to get a response! We do, though, use non-verbal cues to both 'match' and 'tumn-take." You match when both of you use up the exact same body posture, unconsciously copy gestures or emphatically nod just when your companion is emphatically saying a specific expression. You turn-take instinctively. rotating remarks motions and smiles. When your rapport is truly good, the words aren't important-your complementary body language says it all

But what if things aren't working out? People's bodies relocate to extremely different rhythms and there can be a mismatch. The symptoms are apparent and awkward. You feel ill at ease without knowing why. One of you gets eager to speak while the other won't turn over the chance to talk. Rather than seamless turn-taking, you butt in and trip over each other or the silences get longer.

At this moment, you might think it's since you have nothing in common. Your discomfort, however, is much more very likely to be because of a mismatch not of interests but of body language (particularly if your associate is new and you have not yet learned whether you work). Rather just, your rhythms don't fit.

If you want to take action to feel more comfortable with another person, use this nonverbal communication strategy: quite simply match their rhythms actively rather than leaving it to chance Observe the other person's posture, then move quickly into copying it. I they change posture, do so too. Notice their rhythm of words and gestures, and follow it-a small nod when they nod, a slight lean forward when they say something absolutely, a flicker of a finger to mark their gestural rhythm. Be so tuned in to your companion that you turn-take naturally, speaking when they stop, slowing down when they want to start.

For the first few minutes, deliberately matching an alien rhythm will feel uncomfortable: if it didn't, your body would already have done it automatically. And you have to be subtle about what you are doing or the other person might feel mocked or imitated. The secret is to keep your movements small and your paralleling shifts of posture or expression hardly obvious.

Keep going, however, and 2 things will eventually start to happen. First, with practice, your body will feel more at ease and comfortable Second, as the other person is assured by the way you are synchronizing your responses with theirs, they will begin to integrate more with you, following your natural rhythm, moving into your natural position, smiling when you smile. Your two rhythms will coincide: you will build good relationships.

The art of discussions

It might be a cliché, but it is nevertheless true that the