18 Ways We Make Life Way Harder Than It Needs To Be

By Carl Massy

Would you choose a life which is HARDER than it needs to be, or would you much prefer more EASE, PEACE and FULFILMENT?

 

That might be a dumb-arse question, but here's the REALITY.

 

We knowing or unknowingly, consciously or unconsciously, make life WAY harder than it needs to be. Period. 

 

Here are the main reasons:

• We have blind spots (we don't know what we don't know).
• We were poorly taught (or were never taught).
• We don't realize how much the 'little' stuff adds up (to BIG stuff).
• We don't consider how big of a pain in our butt some choices will become.
• We get too lazy, complacent or sloppy (and don't realise the consequences).

In this light, insightful, practical, resource-rich and entertaining book, let long-time Mindset Coach, ex-Army Major and former Olympic Games security consultant teach you - plain and simple - where not to place your foot if you want to avoid the figurative doggie do-do (aka: shit) in life. Making your life (a LOT) less hard, and a whole lot more joyful, peaceful and fulfilling.  

 

I think we can all agree that life is hard enough as it is, without making it any harder than it needs to be. Being the most beat up person to cross the finish line is hardly cause for celebration. You want to finish the race, with the highest satisfaction and fulfilment store, without having to mess yourself up on the way. Smarter, not harder.

 

Are you read to be shown your blind-spots (and a better way to navigate them)?

 

The book comes with a great range of practical resources and access to some of Carl's other Audiobooks.

 

Carl is also the author of The Guidebook Series, The Successful Mind and Decision Making Mastery. He has a podcast called Life Masterclass and conducts seminars online and around the world, from his tropical home base in Bali, where is has been coaching people in-person and remotely for over 16-years.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Weekend Book Club
• Release date: Nov 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798223108139

Carl Massy

Carl Massy is an Ex-Australian Army Major and Olympic Games Security Consultant, turned Mindset Coach, Speaker and Trainer specializing in Happiness, Health, and Success back in 2007.  Carl considers himself an expert Strategist having combined 20 years of international strategic planning with 24+ years of training, research and experience in the Personal Development and Neuro Linguistics Programming (NLP) fields. He is fascinated with why we do what we do (or don't do), plus creating very practical and strategic ways to be the Co-Creator of our destinies.   He has Coached CEO's, world champion athletes, actors, entrepreneurs, multi-millionaires, single mothers, Olympians, business owners and retirees from all over the world the world, helping them to change the course of their lives, and create their ultimate lifestyle. In his corporate wellness workshops he has worked with companies like Chevron, SWIRE, ExxonMobil and Aspire Zone Foundation. Plus he has been the co-owner in a dynamic yoga centre in Bali.  Carl is also a personal fitness trainer, Life & Business Coach, hypnotherapist, Reiki Master, NLP Master Practitioner, corporate wellness trainer and world explorer who brings a very diverse range of experience and expertise to his work. His passion is to increase the health, happiness and success of everyone he connects with. He is currently based in Bali, and works with clients remotely or with clients who fly into Bali for immersive experiences; plus writes a very practical Weekly Newsletter.

Book preview

18 WAYS WE MAKE LIFE WAY HARDER THAN IT NEEDS TO BE

Learn how to create more ease, peace and fulfilment in your life.

by Carl Massy

DOWNLOAD THE AUDIOBOOK FREE

To say thanks for downloading my book, I would like to give you the Audiobook version 100% FREE!

I know you’re more likely to finish this book if you have the audiobook. I even narrated the book myself so it will feel like we are having a conversation.

Instead of paying $10-$20 for the audiobook, I’d like to give it to you for free...

18WAYSBOOK.COM/AUDIO

For a helping hand & deeper dive

Books by Carl Massy

The Guidebook Series

The Guidebook to Happiness

The Guidebook to Optimum Health

The Guidebook to Authentic Success

Other Books

The Successful Mind

Decision Making Mastery

Online Coaching Programs

Ignite Your Inner Greatness: A 30-Day Challenge

Become a Natural Superhuman: A 5-Week Holistic Resilience Bootcamp

Weekly Newsletter

Sign up for Carl Massy’s weekly ‘Happiness Tips’ Newsletter, and not only receive very practical weekly advice and strategies, but also receive a FREE copy of The Guidebook to Happiness audiobook.

Coaching Immersion in Bali

Carl hosts a 5-day, 1-on-1 Coaching immersion in Bali for several clients each year. This is reserved for people who want to fats-track their personal development and evolution. Visit his website for more information.

www.carlmassy.com

Copyright

18 Ways We Make Life Way Harder Than It Needs to Be

Copyright © 2023 Carl W. Massy

Published by:

TheWeekend Book Club.

www.theweekendbookclub.com

All rights reserved.

DEDICATION

I would like to dedicate this book to the following people:

My Dad

The first person I want to dedicate this book to is my dad, who passed away peacefully as I was half way through writing this book (16 June 2023). My dad was a man who was not big into dramas, one of my biggest fans and supporters, and a man who would expect me to get on with the business of serving others with what I have learned. He was a schoolteacher himself, and influenced 1000’s of kids over his career by teaching through example. Thanks, dad, for all your support, then and now.  

My Family

I must have rolled the dice right, because I ended up with a family where we pretty much get along. We rarely fight and we are pretty good at being there for each other. I saw the best of my mum, brother and sister, as we shared the experience of my fathers passing, and were there to support each other; and even though we were having very different experiences, we respected each other’s way of being. 

My Partner (Ferry)

I have heard that behind every great man there is a great woman, and yes rather than cheekily presupposing that I am one of those great men, my point is that I have a great woman in my life that challenges me to be better. She is also the creative genius behind the presentation of all of my work, so that might be another major factor in making me look better. Ferry also ensures that my ego would never get out of check, by making fun of things like the gap between my teeth.  

A shit-tin of Authors

I have had the joy of growing up in a day and age where we have incredible access to some of the greatest minds throughout the world, and their written work. I love the idea of going beyond ‘headlines’ and ‘summaries’ of someone’s hypothesis, and plunging into the mind and world for literally hours. To truly understand why they think what they do. What got them there. I am grateful for their experience and for sharing it with me and others. Apparently, the learners will inherit the earth, while the learned will inherit a world that no longer exists. So, here’s to constantly learning, compliments of all of those great authors and teachers out there. 

TABLE OF CONTENTS

For a helping hand & deeper dive

Copyright

DEDICATION

PREFACE

THE INTRODUCTION

WAY 1: WHEN WE DECIDE TO FIGHT ‘REALITY’

WAY 2: IS SAYING YES TO THAT ACTUALLY A GOOD IDEA?

WAY 3: WHEN THE TIMELINE IS OFF

WAY 4: LIMITING BELIEFS AND CRAPPY STORIES

WAY 5: WHICH WAY DO I GO?

WAY 6: IS ‘I DID IT MY WAY’ THE BEST STRATEGY?

WAY 7: IS YOUR LANGUAGE HELPING YOU OR HARMING YOU?

WAY 8: STUFFING THINGS IN ALL THE GAPS

WAY 9: DOES IT REALLY MATTER ‘THAT’ MUCH?

WAY 10: USING THE SAME INGREDIENTS AND EXPECTING A DIFFERENT OUTCOME

WAY 11: ASKING THE RIGHT (OR WRONG) PERSON FOR ADVICE?

WAY 12: DO I REALLY NEED THAT?

WAY 13: WHEN EXPECTIONS RESEMBLE A FAIRY TALE

WAY 14: STEP 1 IN QUALITY DECISION MAKING

WAY 15: DON’T DO THIS

WAY 16: WHEN ‘PRIDE’ IS NOT A GOOD THING

WAY 17: BE CONSCIOUS OF THE SOURCE OF YOUR FEEDBACK

WAY 18: THIS IS NOT FUN, BUT IT BEATS A REPEAT

THE CONCLUSION

Cool Tool 1: Essential Versus Desirable Strategy

Cool Tool 2: Taking a Leaf out of the Geek Handbook and doing an ‘OBSTACLE’ Audit?

THE GUIDEBOOK TO AUTHENTIC SUCCESS

Chapter 1: Introduction

Chapter 2: Authentic Success

PREFACE

It is through science that we prove, but through intuition that we discover.

Henry Poincare (French Mathematician)

Have you ever been to Bali (Indonesia)?

What a magical place. Beaches. Balinese massages. Sunshine. Great surfing. Outstanding food (did anyone tell you Bali is a food mecca?). Beautiful local people. Such an amazing place to relocate to, in order to start the next phase of your life journey and professional transition. What could possibly go wrong?

And yes, I was chuckling as I wrote that line, as I am sure at some points in your life you have uttered those very same magical and fateful words. "What could possibly go wrong?"

I moved to Bali in late 2007, to manifest my dream lifestyle experience, after having worked for the previous 5 years as a senior consultant to Olympic Games and mega events (Salt Lake City, Athens, Torino and Doha), and before that I had retired as a Major in the Australian Army after 14 years of service. My new lifestyle and profession was going to be as a Neuro Linguistics Life and Lifestyle Coach, as I stepped into showing exactly how creating the ideal lifestyle was done. I was going to live this easeful, peaceful, successful and fulfilling life, and doing it the HARD WAY was definitely not on the agenda.

Having arrived in Bali as a newbie Expat, and with a decent chunk of money in my pocket (figuratively and not literally, as that would be a really stupid way to start out in Asia), I set about making friends, building my professional and social network and working on my Business Plan. Part of the network building saw me introduced to a friend of a friend (which is its own story), who had this great idea. The idea was to build a boutique Backpackers hotel in Bali, and then once that was thriving, expand the brand and concept into other Indonesian locations like Jakarta and Lombok, and then finally into East Timor. It sounded like an awesome idea, and I was excited to be a Founder and Co-owner in my first business. Life was looking great. All my best-laid plans were coming together in perfect symphony.

Well not exactly.

The plan, and extrapolation of that plan, was a thing of excitement and the thought of being part of something like this sounded great to me. I was in. All in. Well the ‘intellectual’ part was in; that is for sure. But here is the thing. Sometimes our intellectual ‘smarts’ think they are way too smart. Too smart to get professional advice. Too smart to slow things down. Too smart to ask the tougher (incongruent) questions coming up for me. And too smart to listen to my gut, which was trying to get my conscious attention.

You see, as much as the guy who was leading the project was a nice enough guy, my gut was trying to tell me he might not be the right person to align myself with. His values and beliefs were a little too different to mine. And one thing my gut was definitely telling me, based on a number of events I witnessed, was this person might be a little shallow in how he interacts with life and people. Unfortunately, the smarty pants me figured because I had been a part of all of these huge multi-billion-dollar projects around the world I could make the right decision on something relatively small like this. So, my thought was, "Thanks for the shout out gut (also known as ‘intuition’), but the plan for this project looks outstanding and totally rock solid."

Now if I had listened to my gut and considered if there were any downsides or blind spots associated with having a person - who has different values to me - heading up this project, I might have considered this could manifest as a hyper-fixation on the ‘look’ of the hotel, at the expense of all of the deeper (and less sexy) operational and financial elements of the business. Was this the person to best lead this project? Especially as I was going to be spending a decent chunk of the money I had worked hard to save over the last 5 years.

What was my gut and intuition telling me?

Nothing I was ready to hear (unfortunately). This meant my first dream project in Bali was an absolute disaster! It was sort of okay for the first couple of years (though very poor financial return on my investment). Then