The Mentor Within: Stop Holding On When You Should Let Go

By Peter J Johnson

The Mentor Within ~ Stop Holding On When You Should Let Go

This book comprises a series of articles, often with a picture, to raise some questions as we go about our busy lives.

All too often, as our lives become more hectic we merely speed up, turning the hamster wheel faster. The small amoun

• Language: English
• Publisher: Project In Mind Limited
• Release date: Sep 14, 2020
• ISBN: 9781907105173

Book preview

Introduction

In the introduction to the first volume of this series of books I used one of my own sporting involvements to make an observation. It was that life is a one-lap race, without a practice lap, and without a lap of celebration. We are fortunate to live in a world with so many opportunities, and indeed I am fortunate to live in a country where there is significant freedom to experience these opportunities, if chosen. So many people around the world still do not have this freedom, or opportunity, or choice.

I am acutely aware that the world we live in has become busy, immediate, and lacks the time or space to enjoy the moment. Hence the subtitle of Volume 1: ‘Quiet reflections in a noisy world’.

For the subtitle of Volume 2 I quoted something that I had heard from an Isle of Man TT motorcycle racer: ‘Breathing doesn’t mean you are alive’. Indeed, I have met and worked with many people who have lost that ‘alive’ feeling, and wanted to regain their vitality.

For the subtitle of this, the third Volume in the series I have used: ‘Stop holding on when you should let go’.

Through my work with many organisations, and with my private clients, this is something that frequently surfaces. Change is wanted, needed, yet all too often that next crucial step is not embraced.

This has been reinforced in my psychology studies with Yale University where it is clear that the need for belonging and interconnectivity with others is increasing; though this very ‘need’ creates a vacuum where more, in fact, creates less. Less contentment, happiness, success (whatever the definition of success means for that person).

Evermore people are driven by the ‘fear of missing out’, or FOMO, which has become the accepted shorthand in text and social media postings.

Yet, using the monkey trapper technique, the fear of letting go, or missing out, is the very act of entrapment for the monkey. And dare I suggest, for ourselves too.

If you are not familiar with the trapping technique, this is where a reward for the monkey is placed in a jar that wont move, where the hole is large enough to insert a hand, but not large enough for the hand to be removed holding the reward. The monkey will not let go of the reward, so becomes trapped.

As I write this, at the time of lockdown due to the COVID-19 pandemic, many people have been busy de-cluttered and getting rid of stuff; or have bags of items to go to charity shops, or for recycling/upcycling. Often the person saying with relief that is was ‘cathartic’ (I have heard this term many times in the past few weeks). It has created space by ‘letting go’, and with the exclamation: ‘why have I been holding onto this stuff!’.

Let us hope our respect for the natural world increases, our desire for ‘more’ decreases.

So why not use the articles in this book that resonate with you to ‘stop holding on when you should let go’.

I am not merely suggesting the hording of ‘stuff’.

It may be the job you despise, which someone else may love. An activity that is part of your past, yet you still do. A habit that no longer does you any favours. The reluctance to learn, when letting go of that attitude could provide so much pleasure; potentially creating new opportunities.

Re-evaluate the time you spend with people/relationships because you have always ‘spent’ time with them. Reflect on the lines from Kahlil Gibran:

‘For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.’

Reflect too on the saying: some things in life are for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime.

Speak with you own Mentor Within – you may find the conversation awakens you to letting go.

A few tips on how to use this book.

The series of articles in this book do not have to be read in order; this is a book to dip into. It is a book that can be a casual read or one where you choose to take an active part.

I would recommend you take an active part.

The questions posed at the end of most chapters may stimulate your own questions that serve you better. Write your thoughts in the book – then crucially take action, ideally start straight away.

If the thought of writing in a book makes you shudder, like I have discovered it does for so many, you have my permission and encouragement to write, highlight or even tear out pages to pop into a pocket, purse or bag. Indeed, the biggest complement you can pay me is to make this book look used, worn and frayed around the edges. You can always get another copy!

I would not recommend reading the book from cover to cover in one go. Let the thoughts soak in, write a little, take action then return another day.

Now unleash The Mentor Within…and ‘stop holding on when you should let go’.

Peter Johnson

[e-mail]

peterjohnsononline.com

Goals

In Worcester, England, where I live, it was a perfect day.

Fresh crisp air, a lovely blue sky and an ideal day to clear one’s mind.

So with thoughts of what the year ahead could hold in store I decided to have a good walk and look at things with renewed enthusiasm.

I chose to walk along the banks of the River Severn in Worcester (the Severn is the longest river in Britain).

Such a delight and lovely to see so many people outside and enjoying the company of those they were with. I always love seeing the children feeding the ducks and swans – what a picture the whole scene makes, especially when some stray seagulls also join in the spectacle.

I have walked along the path at the