Happiness Times Two: Live Each Day Like You're on a Vacation

By Bayne Wetmore

The universe is over 13 billion years old. The sun is one million times larger than the earth. The earth is inhabited by trillions and trillions of life-forms, and we are one of the billions of people who inhabit our world, yet from our point of view, we are the most important thing to have ever existed. You will find more amazing facts inside the book, which will relate more directly to your life and will help you determine how happy your life will be.

I’m not saying every day will be sunshine and roses. We all know bad things will come our way through no fault of our own, and we will have to deal with events in our lives that will cause us anguish and sorrow, but armed with the ideas in this book, we should be able to rise above the negative events that happen in all people’s lives and live the kind of happy life we all deserve.

Positive psychologists say we are born with 40 percent of our potential for happiness which is genetic, another 10 percent of how good we feel is caused by our environment, and the media which leaves 50 percent of our potential to be happy for us to work with. That’s a potential for 100 percent more happiness in our lives if we know how to get it. That’s why I’ve written this book and am giving this gift to you. Read it, study what you find in it, and put as many of these ideas into your life as you possibly can. See if you don’t feel happier. If you also feel happier, it will make me happier too. Best of luck, Bayne Wetmore (I choose to be happy).

This book is full of amazing facts you need to know.

—Sharon Kay Summerford, energy practitioner

This is his best book by far.

—Ken Persky

• Language: English
• Publisher: Page Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Apr 15, 2022
• ISBN: 9781662449628

Book preview

1

Building a Happy Life

Our lives are like long bolts of cloth being woven on the loom of life. But who is the weaver, and who designed the pattern of the fabric? Who selected the thread for the warp and woof of our material? The plain threads that have been put into the loom represent the constants in our lives. The shuttle is passed between these threads, and for good material to result, these threads must be strong, because constant pressure is applied to them.

I see these basic threads as representing our character, philosophy of life, physical health, acquired skills, and mental health. The shuttle’s action in passing through the main threads represents the passing of the days of our lives. Once we select the thread to pass through the loom, the fabric begins to take shape.

The problem with many of us is that we never really think about the threads we are selecting for our cloth, and by a self-inventory, we may come to realize that some of the threads in our life are rotten or may be missing altogether. Like trying to play a song with several keys missing from the piano, we are constantly hitting clinkers.

But let us assume we have developed the warp of our life to its fullest potential and now have a loom ready to begin the production of a beautiful bolt of cloth. The problem here is that we have been weaving our life’s cloth from birth, and basically, the pattern of our life is very entrenched by this time.

If we have been weaving flawed burlap, it will take less time to remove the flaw from the burlap design than it will take to change the loom over to the production of fine silk brocade. On the other hand, if, after studying this course, you prefer brocade to burlap, that change, too, is possible. With the development of a grand new design, a person can change his or her life. First, the goals must be set, the dream developed, then the habits of your life must be changed.

The term total happiness is an idea that we can’t hope to achieve in a world of reality, but within a spectrum that has total happiness at one end and total unhappiness, torture, and torment at the other extreme, we can strive to gravitate toward the end defined as total happiness. Just the understanding that total happiness cannot exist for anyone and is not a realistic goal can or should stop some of the frustration for those who still believe the fairy-tale ending they lived happily ever after. With these thoughts as a background, we will begin to strive toward total happiness as a goal. Even though we will fall somewhat short of it, the search will have its own rewards.

I asked my little girl how she felt about herself, and she said she felt good. She said she was learning in school and growing bigger and stronger every day. I asked her how she would feel if she stopped growing, and she said, Not very good. After we finished discussing how good she felt about her own growth and development, I thanked her for giving me such excellent advice; and when she asked what advice she had given me, I explained that she had made it clear to me that no matter how old we are, to avoid frustration, depression, and unhappiness, we must continue to grow—if not physically, then emotionally and spiritually.

In the course, I have included as many sources and theories as possible, because what will be meaningful in bringing about growth in one person will not be relevant to another who is at a different stage of life or who is facing a different set of problems. It is hoped that you will find what you need here. Take all you need to begin to grow. The solutions I suggest are not the only ones and may not be appropriate for you, but they are a place to start.

As human beings, we all have certain basic needs. The most basic is the need to survive, followed by the need for security, social justice, respect, and finally, self-actualization, or the need to reach our fullest potential. Whether we are still struggling with the problems of day-to-day survival—not knowing where our next meal is coming from or being fortunate enough to be well-off financially but worrying about being respected or hoping to reach self-actualization—we all must remember that we cannot really be happy if we do not love one important person in our life, and that person is ourself.

If you can love yourself, you can better love others. I hope this course will let you fall in love with yourself, help you set goals for a fulfilling and happy future, and help you develop a lifestyle that is the kind you want to live.

First Class Assignment

It will help you with this course if you have a notebook that can be used for taking notes from your reading and keeping track of your feelings as you progress through the assignments. You will also need a library card for your public or university library. Often, a library card costs you nothing or, at the very most, very little, so ask a librarian how to go about getting one.

Once you have the library card, you will want to look in the card catalog to see if the library has the books that are in the course bibliography. (See chapter 14, Getting There Is Most of the Fun: Some Useful Sources in Your Search for Happiness, for the annotated course bibliography.) If they do, fine; but if not, they may be willing to order them for the library if you request them. Even if they do not do this, they may be able to borrow the books you need from another library by going through interlibrary loan.

Often, by looking in the section of the library where you find books on the same or similar topics, you will find books on similar subjects that will be valuable for you to read and study.

2

Who Am I? Where Am I Going? A Self-Inventory

While studying this course material and working on putting it together, I half feared that something would come along in my life that would absorb so much of my time that this project would get sidetracked. In one sense, the good fortune of a major career change, a windfall fortune, or the perfect love affair should not have been feared.

But I knew the distraction might have caused my time for study to be limited, thus putting off for years into the future the changes that have taken place because of this study. In the meantime, the character flaws and personal problems would have continued to hurt me until years in the future when it might have been too late to repair the damage. I also felt that it was only fair that I test out many of the ideas found in the course literature, and this, too, can only be done over a long period of time.

The changes I have made in my life as a result of being exposed to the information in this course are bearing fruit, and I plan to continue to make changes and adjustments as time goes by. We are our own best judges as to what changes each of us should make, and that is the reason I have included so much information for you to digest.

If you are like many people, you are a collector; and in the course of your life, you have probably collected good memories and habits and bad ones as well. At times in life, though, it is a good idea to take inventory of these collections and discard those habits and actions that are no longer useful or may now be counterproductive or downright destructive. A good housecleaning will leave room for those ideas that you have always wanted to try but never had the time for in the past.

Many people feel the need to turn their lives around and give themselves a chance to become reborn. To do this, they can join a fundamentalist religious sect, or they can search for answers by rationally analyzing their life to find what is causing their problems. At times, the combination of a rational search for answers and an appeal to a higher power will get the best results.

If you have allowed circumstances in your life to slide for too long, the results can be an unmanageable mess. Bad habits, character flaws, and faulty ways of thinking can cause us to become irrational (neurotic) and, if taken one step further, possibly even crazy (psychotic). To escape this maze of a tortured, self-defeating life, a general inventory must take place, followed by a housecleaning, which will let a little sunshine and fresh air into your life.

It is hoped that this book will serve that purpose in your life. While we hope you do not have many of the problems this book attempts to solve, it is hoped that it helps you with the ones you do discover within yourself. Recently, a lady described to me the suicide of her young grandson, and I felt so sad for this lovely lady. How many people destroy themselves every year because of problems that can be solved if only they can clearly see the situation?

Who is the most important person in your life? It should be you. If it is not, make yourself the kind of person you can love, and I imagine a lot of other people will too. David Copperfield begins with the hero saying something to the following effect: I am David Copperfield and whether I will be the hero of my life remains to be seen. That should be the goal of all of us. By the way, one way to be popular with other people is to show a genuine interest in their lives. Try it! Ask a person about themselves, and watch them light up.

Once you have taken stock of yourself and your life by self-inventory, you are ready to do some problem-solving. Eliminating some bad habits and problems from your life may not result in extreme happiness, but it should raise your self-esteem, give you confidence, and let you realize that you are the main one who determines how you feel and where your life is going.

Many people let their lives develop like a weed patch until they become tangled jungles with all their potential trapped in the center. It may become so bad in their jungle that they hack their way out and leave the past behind. The only problem is that if they take the same habits and concepts along, a new jungle will grow around them. They may stay in the jungle and escape through the fantasy of escapist literature, soap operas, drinking and dope, or if they cannot take it anymore, suicide. Or they can decide to take control of their life by first analyzing what is going on and where it is all leading.

An honest appraisal will lead to the discovery that unwanted trash has collected in the life and, possibly, that some major problems have surfaced and should be dealt with. Dealing with problems successfully can be a very rewarding and profitable experience. If you can be honest with yourself concerning the problems, the next step is dealing with the problems. Make notes to yourself to deal with these problems. Read books that are devoted to these problems and any books found on the same subject in the library.

If there are groups in your community that deal with your problems, join them to see if they can help. Some excellent examples are Alcoholics Anonymous and Parents without Partners, both of which are very supportive. At these groups, you will find all kinds of people, but you will have a lot in common with them, because they share your problems, and they will be sympathetic and helpful. Some people say that they are unlucky, but the definition of a lucky person that I like is one who is prepared to take advantage of opportunity.

One advantage of this course over reading one general book on any topic is that it takes time to change a habit—some people say twenty-one days—so reading and rereading reinforces new habits in action and thought. Ann Landers was asked what the most common question asked of her was, and she said people asked her, What is wrong with me? I hope this part of the course will answer that question and help you to eliminate the negative forces in your life. I also hope it will point out what is right with you, which is a great deal!

Assignment

Read about making a self-inventory in these books that are listed in the annotated bibliography (chapter 14).

Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism

Dyer, Your Erroneous Zones

Ellis and Harper, A Guide to Rational Living

Mursell, How to Make and Break Habits

Overstreet, The Great Enterprise

Robertson, Free to Act

Rubin, The Winner’s Notebook

Stiller, Habits

If you read the descriptions of all the books in the bibliography, you will discover others that can be of help on this topic.

3

Changing Bad Habits and Making New Goals

After studying the section on your self-inventory and reading the books assigned and taking a personal inventory, many questions must have crossed your mind. And I hope, unless you found yourself to be perfect, that you are ready to make some changes. You might have asked yourself questions such as, Am I headed for possible disaster? or Am I my own worst enemy? If your answer is yes to any of the following statements, you probably should answer yes to the above questions too.

I smoke excessively.

I am a problem drinker.

I abuse drugs.

I have illicit affairs with the wives of the criminally insane.

I like to live recklessly.

I feel sick but will not go to a doctor.

I take risks without calculating the outcome in advance.

I run down myself in conversations with others.

If you have these or any other problems that are causing you to spin your wheels, do not feel alone or be ashamed. Many millions share your problems. The cause for rejoicing is that you are aware of the problem and want to eliminate it and the vicious chain reaction of other problems it is causing.

Once you have taken your personal inventory, you will notice how you have fallen into many bad habits without thinking much about them. Habits should be described as bad if they cause damage and handicap you in your search for your major goal: leading a happier life. Making your life happier is not something you do once and then let it slide. It means changes in habits and lifestyle and is something that must be worked on daily. Sounds like work, doesn’t it? It is, but just imagine the possible rewards!

Habits can be divided into three categories: those that develop from physical repetition (such as biting one’s nails and making stupid faces), biochemical habits (such as anger and overeating), and addicting habits (such as drinking, taking drugs, and smoking). Included in those that develop from physical repetition are all those lazy and sloppy habits that tend