Slaying the Onion

By April Ballestero

Slaying the Onion: Unveil the Layers of Your Story to Reveal Your Highest Potential

"There's a reason we keep playing small, stop dreaming, and stop reaching. There's a reason we settle for less and less, even in areas we could potentially flourish." - April Ballestero

The symptoms can vary. L

• Language: English
• Publisher: Purple Umbrella LLC
• Release date: Sep 24, 2022
• ISBN: 9798986536750

Book preview

Praise for Slaying the Onion

Having just tasted a small slice of Slaying the Onion I saw the truth in your words, without a sliver of mumbo jumbo. You explained it all so well that even a knucklehead like me could understand. Thank you, April, for your hard work and dedication to helping others, myself included.

- David R. Gregory News Director/News Anchor,

103.9 The Fish, Sacramento, CA

With over thirty-five years (of experience) working with human behavior, I am always looking for fresh material where I can gain insights. I will admit, when I pick up most books, I scan them and find most are a rehash of previous thoughts, not new, challenging content. As I read Slaying the Onion, I found myself reading and discovering fresh thoughts that made me stop, think, and ponder. April has done an excellent job of reaching from her journey, to share with us steps that will release us from the prison we make ourselves a hostage to. You will find thought-provoking ideas, a journey that will feed your spirit, and open you to pondering new, life-altering information. Great job.

- Richard Flint, CSP

Author, The Truth about Stress

www.richardflint.com

If you have ever wondered why you sometimes make poor choices, April’s Slaying the Onion will help you discover your hidden drivers. I have known April for several years and have worked with her both individually and with my team. She has consistently delivered amazing insight, inspiration, guidance, and value. This book will enable you, also, to benefit from her skills and expertise.

- Richard Hall

BottomLine Lawyers

www.bottomlinelawyers.com

Not only will you learn a refreshing, fun, and comprehensive process of how to successfully interact with others as you run a business, but you will fall in love with the author because of her authenticity and rawness. She is a true leader in the coaching industry.

- Becky Evans

Executive Leadership Coach

Looking back on my life, I realize that some of my biggest mistakes were made through naivete and a lack of honesty with myself. In Slaying the Onion, leadership coach April Ballestero provides the tools and motivation to aid in honestly peeling back the layers of life in order to escape our self-created jail cells. With wisdom and gentleness, April guides the reader to discover the keys to unlock each layer of the onion—and ultimately, to escape the jail cell and experience true freedom.

- Dr. Craig von Buseck

Author, Seven Keys to Hearing God’s Voice

Digital Content Manager of the Parenting Department,

www.focusonthefamily.com

This will be a powerful, life-changing experience for anyone who conscientiously does the work. As you peel away the layers of old stories, biases, habits, and patterns that have held you back, you'll discover and develop a level of freedom, power, wisdom, and confidence you may never have known you could.

- Peter Demarest

www.axiogenics.com / or

[e-mail]

With authenticity, wisdom, and grace, you (April) invite readers to come alongside you on the oftentimes messy journey to our inner souls. This journey, while neither straight nor easy, is made more purposeful and fulfilling with the tools you provide. Thank you, April, for your commitment to sharing your message.

- Rebecca Michell

Author, Speaker, and Teacher for University of CA

Davis and CSU Sacramento

www.rebeccamitchellauthor.com

Slaying the Onion

Unveil the Layers of Your Story to Reveal Your Highest Potential

April Ballestero

image-placeholder

Kaleidoscope Books

Kaleidoscope Publishing

1738 Oak Trail St. NE, Massillon, Ohio 44646. This title also available at www.kaleidoscopebooks.net.

Slaying the Onion (Second Edition): Unveil the Layers of Your Story to Reveal Your Highest Potential by April Ballestero Copyright © 2022 April Ballestero

ISBN: 979-8-9865367-2-9

Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version ®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. ™ Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and "New International Version: are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc.™

All rights reserved. Non-commercial interests may reproduce up to 500 words of this book withoutprior permission of the publisher provided credit is given to author and publisher. Commercial interests: No part of this publication may be produced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any form or by any means—electronic, photocopy, recording, or otherwise—without prior permission of the publisher.

Cover design:Stephanie Arnold

Cover image: Layers of Personality by C. Fish Images, www.istockphoto.com 7/22

For more information about the authorvisit www.onelightacademy.net

Library of Congress Cataloging-in Publication Data: Ballestero, April

Slaying the Onion/ A. Ballestero 2nd ed.

Foreword

Why Trust Her Awareness, Concept, and Resources

When I first met April seven years ago, I was a newly licensed and hesitant real estate agent. She was teaching a class at the real estate brokerage I worked with at the time. Attending that class and meeting her changed the trajectory of my real estate career and my life.

April presented many concepts and strategies that were completely new to me. At the end of the class, I decided to invest in myself and my career, and I began formal coaching with her. Because her style of coaching is comprehensive, I experienced growth in all areas of my life: business, family, spiritual, financial, and recreational.

April asks the best questions. She has been instrumental in showing me how to be aware of my words, thoughts, actions, and habits, and how these affect all areas of my life. Coaching with April took me from being an insecure, fearful gal hoping to make a go of a real estate career, to becoming a successful business owner.

If I had not implemented the priceless advice, plans, and strategies April has shared with me over the years, I fully believe I would have given up on my hopes and dreams of becoming a business owner. She is patient, kind, and extremely insightful. She draws from years of experience in the world of business, in coaching—and being coached—and in life. Those who have the opportunity to be coached by April or read her books, will certainly be blessed and will be the better for it.

− Traci Harris

Real Estate Broker Associate,

Vista Sotheby’s International Realty

Introduction

The conversation started out as usual—casual and familiar. After all, we’d been friends for years. Then unexpectedly, our light banter turned intensely personal with frustrations about his previous romantic relationship. "My significant other expected me to fill her cup every day!"

I soon realized they each had expected the other to meet their individual needs twenty-four-seven, rather than being responsible for their own joy, energy, and purpose. Yet each had also seen the other’s flaws, and therefore, kept the other at arm’s length. Ultimately, they chose to part ways instead of moving toward a long-term commitment. I thought These two had a wonderful opportunity to slay their onions, and they let the opportunity pass.

I define Slaying the Onion as facing and overcoming the layers upon layers of our fears, emotions, and stories, so we are free to discover new perspectives, make different choices, and reap the rewards of reframing our lives.

Quite a mouthful to say, right? And, yes, it’s a revolutionary act. When we make these choices, we can see immediate value in our lives. When we seek to unveil the layers of our story, we can reveal our highest potential.

I was sad my friends stayed trapped in their respective comfort zones and consequently lost their chance to build something mutually satisfying. For too long, I lived the exact, same way—trapped. However, I refused to stay confined in the land of playing small. To get out, I had to slay many onions of my own.

Unfortunately, this scenario happens all the time in relationships, be they business, personal, family, or spiritual. We blame others and walk away from relationships and opportunities, rather than considering what we may have contributed to the underlying problems. We avoid facing the depth of emotion, the story, and the life lessons that can set us free from our pain.

Instead, if we learn to commit to authenticity and gain awareness; if we are intentional about embodying our true selves—who we want to be, what we want to be responsible for, whom we want to attract, what we value, and how we want others to experience us—we can live truly free.

For some of you, this experience will be exciting. For others, it will be scary. Both perspectives are understandable. You are embarking on a journey you can take at your own pace and willingness. It may not be simple. I guarantee it won’t be easy. However, if you invest the necessary time and energy, it will be worthwhile.

Together, we can face the tough layers of our lives. We will deep dive into the core of who we are and come out the other side BRAVE (you’ll learn more about this later) and able to be our WHOLE self from the inside out.

As you walk this journey, my team and I are available to support you through our online courses, videos, and community. Connect with us and take advantage of our FREE online course that corresponds with this book at www.onelightacademy.net.

We are here to come alongside you through the tough spots and to celebrate your wins.

Contents

1. Looking in the Mirror

2. The WHOLE Perspective

3. Unlocking Your Jail Cells

4. Learning to Be Brave

5. Building Bridges: Relationship Value Exchanges

6. The Labyrinth Experience: Where the Heart, Soul, and Mind Connect

7. Next Steps

Dear Reader

Notes

Additional Resources

About the Author

Chapter one

Looking in the Mirror

Maybe stories are just data with a soul.

− Brene Brown

As I stood before a mirrored wall at ballroom dance class, my instructor caught me fidgeting with my blouse.

Stop that, he said. The mirror does not lie.

That simple truth showed me how difficult it is to hide our imperfections from others. Yet, we can’t fix what we don’t see or refuse to view or acknowledge, in ourselves.

Slaying the Onion is an intense process. Many of us don’t know how to look in the mirror, face our fears, and challenge ourselves to leave our comfort zones, whether they are healthy or unhealthy in nature. In effect, we have created our own jail cells in our personal and professional lives. We have built walls around our hearts that we believe provide protection. These walls impact our communications, relationships, and experiences.

Many of us don’t know how to look in the mirror, face our fears, and challenge ourselves to leave our comfort zones, whether they are healthy or unhealthy in nature.

Ogres, Onions, and Layers

In the animated film Shrek, the main character is a green ogre aptly named Shrek. During a conversation, he explains to his buddy Donkey (yes, a donkey) that ogres and onions are alike, because they both have layers (Andrew Adamson & Vicky Jenson, 2001).

Not every individual is as self-aware as Shrek, especially when misunderstood by others, as happened to this movie character. Not every person is willing to look at themselves in the mirror, because it’s not an easy task. Many people avoid it at all costs. I know.