Understanding Your Adult ADHD (2 in 1): Self-Care For Men & Women With ADHD- Why You Feel Stigmatised & How We Can Help You Thrive As A Neurodivergent & Live The Life You Deserve

By Sarah Evanson

Discover The 10 Hour Practical Blueprint To OWNING Your Adult ADHD- Written For Both Neurodivergent Men and Women!

In a world that often overlooks the Neurodivergent like you

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sarah Evanson
• Release date: Nov 28, 2023
• ISBN: 9781916673519

Book preview

Understanding Your Adult ADHD (2 in 1): Self-Care For Men & Women With ADHD- Why You Feel Stigmatised & How We Can Help You Thrive As A Neurodivergent & Live The Life You Deserve

Sarah Evanson

Men With ADHD: Improve Your Productivity, Discipline & Concentration, Stay Organized At Home And Work + Master Your Emotions & Start Living The Life You Desire

Sarah Evanson

Contents

Introduction

Framework

How to Manage ADHD

Common ADHD Symptoms

Self-Esteem and Failure

Acceptance

ADHD and Parenting

Developing Self-Compassion

ADHD and Mental health

Enhance Your Sex Life

Conclusion

Meditations

Self-Esteem Relaxation

A 30-Minute Anxiety Meditation

Guided meditation for depression #1

Guided Meditation for Depression #2

Guided meditation for overthinking #1

Guided meditation for overthinking #2

Anger Management Through Relaxation: A Relaxation Script

How to Meditate to Beat Procrastination

Dealing with Loneliness Through Relaxation

Letting Go Meditation Script

Introduction

Even though they have the talent and ability to succeed, people with ADHD frequently struggle with maintaining motivation to complete their tasks. This fact contributes to the negative labels that people with ADHD often receive; they are viewed as being unreliable, incompetent, and lazy. 

Most ADHD sufferers eventually realize they need help to regain control, and those who seek assistance are, to varying degrees, willing to change. However, as these problems are being addressed, some difficulties with daily life frequently continue. People will usually need the help and support of a professional when they are ready to take on these problems and take control of their lives.

This also applies to you. You must comprehend your ADHD and plan how it will affect you because it will never disappear. Working with yourself can help you bridge the gap between your determination to begin a task and your actual performance and completion of it. You don't have to allow new responsibilities or challenges to weaken your determination. You run the risk of losing faith and abandoning because of that old behavioral pattern.

You must alter the pattern. You must develop new strategies to address the issues that have historically left you feeling overwhelmed. To win, you literally need to create new habits that capitalize on your ADHD brain's advantages. Keep in mind that you usually know what you want to achieve.

Luckily, fascinating research suggests that the brain is adaptable and capable of continuing to learn. Acting out actions helps the brain create connections between neurons so it can develop abilities and skills that have been lacking. The brain's adaptability and flexibility are two factors in forming new habits.

Your ability to transform an I can't mindset into an I can mindset will be fueled by your knowledge that the brain is capable of learning.

Priorities 

Men with ADHD frequently respond yes to inquiries about certain behaviors they exhibit. It goes without saying that a lot of people display some of these behaviors occasionally, but this does not necessarily indicate that they have ADHD. The symptomatology, frequency, and intensity are all taken into account when diagnosing ADHD. It's crucial that you understand that you shouldn't try to diagnose yourself. As a starting point, consider the following inquiries:

• Do you often feel helpless, incapable of getting your act together, or incapable of achieving your goals?

• Do you frequently have so many things going on at once that you cannot complete any of them?

• Can you concentrate, or are you easily distracted2?

• Do you have trouble getting organized?

• Do you regularly put off starting your tasks?

• Do you act impulsively a lot?

• Do you often speak without considering the impact of your words?

• Do you repeat errors because you fail to remember the results of previous actions?

• Do you struggle with your self-worth and self-love?

• Do you get bored quickly, or are you drawn to new stimuli too quickly?

• Do you often start tasks with enthusiasm before losing interest?

If you said yes to most of these inquiries, you ought to get a proper diagnosis to rule out the possibility of additional causes.

Any therapy that works must start with a precise diagnosis. You and your specialists can choose the therapies that are most likely to work once you have a formal diagnosis.

As you may already be aware, this is especially true for adult ADHD since it is a condition that is regularly disregarded because it can look like another diagnosis. Men with ADHD regularly exhibit at least some symptoms of depression and anxiety, which makes it difficult to diagnose what is going on and contributes to diagnostic difficulties.

When used alone, the main ADHD medications can exacerbate anxiety and trigger manic episodes in people with a bipolar disorder, which could really mix up things. To rule out these potential problems, a detailed ADHD assessment will look for signs of depression, anxiety, and other disorders.

Look for a professional who is knowledgeable about men with ADHD and is ready to put in the effort necessary to ascertain if there is something else going on. While a quick evaluation may hit the mark, there are some major risks. If you get off to the perfect start, you can eventually save so much time. Most people who are diagnosed with ADHD have experienced a lot. The emotional state of ADHD is characterized by shame, embarrassment, and self-criticism. By the time they receive an ADHD diagnosis, many men have lost confidence in themselves. Many men have been misled numerous times and have seen countless professionals without actually getting any better. As a result, many men have given up their beliefs.

It's possible that men with ADHD have overlooked their strengths. They could have lost hope that things would turn out okay. It regularly takes all their strength, creativity, and fortitude to keep their spirits up because they are caught in a negative cycle. However, they have a powerful capacity for optimism. They can recognize even the smallest chance and make the most of it. They can transform a chance encounter into a special occasion.

But when they fail, they crumble, just like the majority of realists. By the time someone asks for help, this failure has typically happened multiple times, enough for them to be cautious about trying again.

The initial stage toward belief is the diagnosis. Merely being diagnosed with ADHD has a significant therapeutic value, more so than with most other disorders. Years of miscommunication are overcome by thoroughly explaining what is really wrong with the person. With ADHD, the diagnosis is the cure, in contrast to other health conditions where the diagnosis informs treatment. Finding out all there is to know about the disorder is the next stage after a diagnosis has been reached with certainty. The more you know, the better you'll be able to customize your treatment to meet your unique needs and fully understand how ADHD has affected your life. A fundamental change in your self-perception is often required for successful treatment. Knowing the various symptoms of ADHD will help you comprehend how it impacts you as well as how to describe the disorder to those who surround you.

Being able to inform those near you is essential. The social impact of ADHD is important; it impacts your home, workplace, and personal life. You should be able to communicate with those from other worlds what is happening inside you. For example, you might be able to repair the relationship if you can give your partner a clear explanation of ADHD.

As you gain more knowledge about ADHD, you begin to change. You endow yourself with knowledge, a quality you did not previously possess.

Treatment is a proactive process that requires learning and hard work. Lifelong learning is simple: you begin by learning about ADHD and speaking with professionals and people with the condition. The stereotype surrounding ADHD can be reduced by being open and transparent with your friends and family. It helps the disorder become more common.

Framework

The recognition process gives men a fresh understanding of who they are, which inevitably results in restructuring or reorganizing their lives on all levels, both inside and out. One readjusts their self-image by taking into account ADHD and trying to conquer their long-term negative views of themself. One's daily routine is reconfigured to create systems for better management and planning.

Treatment for ADHD must include a proper framework and a collection of tools. Tools may include checklists, notifications, notepads, filing cabinets, timetables, alarm clocks, and other appropriate tools. A framework is the collection of outside elements implemented to make up for the unreliable internal system which the individual holds, which may include memory issues, hyperactivity, lack of focus, and so on. The majority of people with ADHD find it difficult to rely on their internal systems to maintain order and focus over time. For them, an external system is essential. Setting up a system need not be tedious; coming up with a practical solution can be quite creative. The whole system will also be calming and encouraging once it is in motion.

We particularly advise planning as a way to restructure one's life. Making a few recurring promises into your daily schedule will enable you to meet them naturally, which is how this time management technique works. This allows you to concentrate your time on other tasks.

Setting it up is easy. Create a list of all your regular tasks, obligations, and promises each week to start—your fixed-time expenditures. Then, you assign a fixed time for each task on an itinerary or journal. These routines quickly embed themselves in your subconscious. You have chosen which tasks you want to prioritize and how to deal with them in advance, and not spontaneously, which risks not doing anything. This means you won't have to stress about how you'll find time to work out every day or when to write your new book.

The method outlined above will greatly make your life easier and save you a lot of energy.

How to Manage ADHD

Verify the diagnosis. Look for a doctor who understands ADHD and can rule out other disorders that mimic symptoms. Educate yourself. The most crucial task for you is to understand your ADHD. Consequently, speak with others who share your experiences and learn everything you can from specialists. You will then be able to select the proper course of action and way of life for yourself.

Aid others in understanding you. It is crucial to involve those close to you and ensure they comprehend what you are going through. They will be better able to assist you if they do this. Look for supportive feedback. ADHD in men necessitates a lot of motivation. This is primarily because of doubts in self-image, but it's also because men with ADHD may need more push to perform to their highest potential.

Be aware that some ADHD symptoms have nothing to do with other issues you might be having. Thus, learning to differentiate your symptoms from other difficulties will enable you to select the best course of action for your issues. Get rid of the guilt you feel about your actions. Realize that you are not to blame. Listen to what your family and friends have to say. People can't accurately observe their own actions, especially when they use defenses and denial. So, consider what your family and friends have to say. Work with a therapist. Seek out counseling to overcome negativity and discover useful strategies for rewiring your brain to think more positively.

Do not feel compelled to look for a job that is not a good fit for you. Don't try to be someone you're not, in other words. Be who you are and accept yourself. Keep in mind to only concentrate on one task at a time when it comes to tasks. You can move on to the following one after you're done with that one. Establish a calm setting that encourages concentration and keeps out distractions. Recognize and prepare for the unexpected, whether it occurs in interpersonal interactions or tasks you complete at work. When things don't go your way, don't be surprised.

Accept difficulties. Usually, those with ADHD are afraid of danger. But when we avoid taking chances, we reduce our development opportunities. So even if you are afraid of failing, make an effort to take risks and challenges. Break up large tasks into smaller ones. This is a straightforward method for completing more difficult tasks. By dividing your tasks or responsibilities into manageable chunks, you'll have more desire and energy to finish them. Addressing the smaller parts will be easier because men with ADHD may find larger tasks tedious and intimidating. As you finish each part, your confidence will grow for the subsequent one, and you will soon complete the entire task.

Establish priorities rather than putting things off. Stop what you're doing and breathe deeply whenever you start to feel overwhelmed or lose attention. Prioritize your tasks and then move on to the first one. Next, move on to the second, and so forth. Keep trying and accept that things might not go as you had hoped.

Determine which situations/environments you perform best by observing yourself. Give yourself permission to work in these circumstances. Concentrate on your areas of strength while acknowledging that working on two things at once is acceptable. Give yourself some time to rest in between tasks for a smooth transition.

Make sure to take breaks often. It's acceptable to take time for yourself. Go to the beach or your favorite ice cream shop—whatever it is you like to do. Simply pick an activity you enjoy.

Change unhealthy addictions with healthy ones. You can develop an addiction to healthy eating, exercise, and other behaviors. If you must be dependent on something, make it a good thing.

Learn to identify mood changes and how to handle them. Recognize that no matter what is happening around you, your emotions can change anytime. Spend less time placing blame. Develop coping mechanisms for yourself and learn how to tolerate your emotions.

Learn to recognize and communicate your emotions. Since they cannot express their emotions orally, many men get upset. You can learn to express your emotions with the right methods.

Remember that the desire to focus too much or not at all is frequently present in people with ADHD. Select a partner who will encourage and assist you in thriving. Plan an event with your pals. Keep to these routines without fail. It is imperative that you stay in touch with other people. Avoid staying in unsupportive or unappreciative environments.

Common ADHD Symptoms

Men with ADHD commonly experience the following symptoms:

Do you find it difficult to focus?

Are you prone to distraction?

Do you think you have a lot of impulsivity?

Do you struggle to get or maintain organization? Do you have trouble thinking clearly?

Do you feel the need to multitask constantly but fail to complete the majority of your tasks?

Do others think you talk far too much?

Is it difficult for you to pay close attention to others?

Do you frequently jump in and speak or act before others only to wish you had given it some thought?

Does it seem like everyone else can hear you?

Do you find it difficult to make your point when speaking?

Do you ever experience internal agitation?

Do you frequently overlook tasks that are not urgent but still need to be completed?

Accept and Recognize 

You must recognize that you suffer from ADHD, which implies the following: Because the first stage in addressing an issue is acknowledging that the problem exists, you must do the following:

Acknowledging that ADHD is a part of your everyday life and that it won't just go away are the first two things to do.

Gather as much information about your specific deficiencies as you can.

Recognize that ADHD significantly contributes to many of the difficulties and issues you face.

Having ADHD is not intended to be a defense mechanism or a justification. It merely entails acknowledging that ADHD is a reality in your life that you can and must confront.

ADHD is characterized by issues in three distinct areas, which you may notice in the following ways:

Lack of persistence with tasks or a limited attention span:

This group of symptoms is more likely to manifest when you are required to perform laborious, dull, or protracted tasks.

Do you easily become bored while performing routine tasks?

Do you switch between unfinished tasks (for example, housecleaning, making the bed partially, emptying the dishwasher partially, and dusting only one room)?

Do you find it difficult to write a detailed report because you lose focus during a lengthy task?

Many men find it difficult to focus for the required amount of time to complete routine tasks. They are easily distracted by anything that comes into their line of vision. When something moves into their field of vision, their gaze and mind follow along and never turn around from their diversion. Or suddenly, irrelevant thoughts that are uninvited and unwanted enter their minds, causing them to veer off course and waste a lot of time.

Reduced capacity to restrain impulses and postpone gratification:

Do you receive criticism from others for leaping without looking?

Are you asked, What were you thinking? at least a few times per week?

Have you made others feel bad by interjecting, making unkind remarks that you wish you hadn’t or controlling the conversation to the point where everyone else leaves in frustration?

When there is a line at the supermarket, do you put off running necessary errands?

Do you regularly eat a third piece of dessert despite your desire to shed 30 pounds?

Do you regularly spend your salary rather than setting money aside for desired ski equipment?

Many Men with ADHD have the propensity to drive with aggression when irritated by other motorists and have a very low threshold for anger in general. Could it be you?

Excessive activity, or unrelated to the job at hand:

Most adults with ADHD, but not all of them, were restless, antsy, and on the go as kids.

Do you recall doing pretty dull tasks and trying to move in ways that weren't necessary to finish them, such as moving your legs and feet in your seat, touching things recurrently, or changing your position?

If you experienced this as a child, you might be fully conscious that it has changed as you've grown up; perhaps you now think of yourself as agitated, anxious, and always needing to be involved in something.

How Can ADHD Damage Your life?

Men with ADHD appear to lack Inhibition, executive functioning issues, and inadequate self-control. These are interconnected, as you'll see, because lacking inhibition causes a lack of self-control, while issues with executive function can create other issues with self-control. 

Here is a list of warning signs for men with ADHD. Can you spot any that you experience yourself?

Impatient and unable to wait.

Make impulsive decisions.

Make inappropriate remarks to other people

Doing things without thinking about the repercussions.

Likely to leave work if feeling bored.

Begin a task or job without thoroughly paying attention to the instructions.

Problem with time management.

Forget about goals and what you are expected to do.

The above are just examples of how ADHD can affect you as a man, but I believe you can recognize your difficulties in self-control.

Self-control refers to any action or response directed at oneself and your own anticipated action that would drive you to act contrary to your original instinct. Consider inhibition to be your pausing system. You pause to determine whether your plan is effective and can go through. The specific behaviors that we utilize to manage ourselves are referred to as executive functions. They are the cognitive powers we all employ to reflect on the past, foresee the future, and direct our conduct toward it. Executive functions are divided and labeled but generally comprise abilities like inhibition, learning and memory, mood control, organization, and attention. After suppressing the need to act, we activate these capacities during the pause. It is critical to understand that using these powers requires willpower and energy. They are not simple or automatic. You must also have some form of impairment from the symptoms to fit the ADHD diagnosis.

Examples of impairments include impulsive conduct that can cause problems in relationships, such as participating in affairs or other activities, such as excessive purchasing. You may purchase items you cannot afford but believe you cannot live without them. It may cause you to neglect simple responsibilities such as raising children or personal cleanliness. Difficulty accepting constructive comments and changing things based on advice from authoritative persons can lead to job termination. Bad time management might cause you to miss crucial commitments and events, jeopardizing both your professional and personal connections.

Memory and learning issues can make even the simplest everyday chores difficult. Being dramatic emotionally can cause problems in all aspects of your life, depriving you of opportunities, making you prone to anger, and probably endangering your relationships. These are only a few examples of the harm ADHD symptoms can cause.

Looking at the issues that ADHD causes in the following areas makes it simpler to grasp how ADHD can impede your life, including:

Inadequate self-organization, problem-solving ability, and working memory.

Problems with mental arithmetic.

Not being able to recall things you have previously heard or read about.

Difficulty organizing ideas or thinking coherently.

Forgetting the message you were trying to communicate when speaking with others.

When presented with something difficult to execute, you cannot remember the information to replicate or perform it successfully.

Hate activities that require more effort than usual.

Difficulty arranging ideas.

Difficulty saying what I want to say.

Struggling to complete goals or tasks.

Have trouble understanding new or difficult tasks.

Have trouble articulating things in the correct order or succession.

Have difficulty executing something in the right order or sequence.

Being clumsy.

Difficulty remembering things.

Procrastinate or postpone tasks until the last possible moment.

Bad time management.

Failure to meet deadlines.

Have difficulty planning.

Forget to do things.

Difficulty in multitasking.

Difficulty maintaining drive while performing tasks.

Impatient and unable to wait.

Unable to control impulsiveness.

Difficulty changing behavior when offered feedback