In My Head

By Ruth Mills

About the Book
In My Head is composed of Ruth Mills writings. Writings of her feelings that she has had on going since being diagnosed with bipolar depression at the age of 17. During times of depression, Ruth would write her thoughts and feelings down and this helped her by getting her feelings out. Ruth hopes that her readers are reminded that there is hope and things will get better for them, they just got to believe. Ruth has battled depression for over 30 years and she battles it on a daily basis but she hasn’t given up because she knows that she can survive and live a normal life.

About the Author
Ruth Mills is an animal lover and currently resides at home with her 8 dogs which have all been rescued from local animal shelters. Ruth works at a local animal shelter in her community a job which she loves. There is no greater love then a pets unconditional love.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Dorrance Publishing Company
• Release date: Apr 10, 2023
• ISBN: 9781649576781

Book preview

The contents of this work, including, but not limited to, the accuracy of events, people, and places depicted; opinions expressed; permission to use previously published materials included; and any advice given or actions advocated are solely the responsibility of the author, who assumes all liability for said work and indemnifies the publisher against any claims stemming from publication of the work.

All Rights Reserved

Copyright © 2023 by Ruth Mills

No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted, downloaded, distributed, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, including photocopying and recording, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented without permission in writing from the publisher.

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ISBN: 978-1-6495-7169-4

eISBN: 978-1-6495-7678-1

In memory of Sylvia J. Sprankle  

02-23-66 to 02-12-2023

Our paths may never cross again,

The feelings I have for you may never end,

Even though it hurts me today,

I wouldn’t have changed anything,

You gave me courage when I want it to end,

You gave me the faith I needed to face another day,

You shared your words of wisdom,

And gave me a beautiful smile to last a lifetime,

When the day comes and we must say goodbye,

Please don’t be sad and don’t shed a tear,

All the memories you gave me will last a lifetime.

How do I talk to you?

I’m afraid you will think less of me,

Maybe you will understand it’s hard to say,

I’m scared of the words that I want to say,

I’ve got to tell you because they won’t go away,

But what if I say the wrong thing and you turn away,

I can’t win, I will lose no matter what I say,

My feelings for you have grown stronger,

I know that you’re with him but what do you say?

We could build a life together or we could just run away.

Have you ever felt the fear of knowing that you will never be okay?

Your mind is so distorted you don’t know what to do or what to say,

And you don’t know how to make the confusion go away,

You lay in bed at night and wish that God would take your life,

You get so angry you use a razor blade to cut yourself,

You want to feel the pain so that you feel real,

You had so many dreams at one time but you gave up,

You no longer try, it’s not worth the fight anymore,

You tell yourself you’ll never make it, it’s no use in trying anymore,

Go and set yourself free, you want no more misery.

The day that you were born she cried for you,

She would ask herself as you slept, "How could this

Beautiful boy come from me?" She cried for you,

When you got your first tooth and your mouth hurt she couldn’t do anything for you,

she cried for you,

Your