My Gift from Above

By Susana Del Toro

The car came to a stop at the side of the road. How could I have gotten to such a low point in my life? In the pursuit of happiness and acceptance, I felt as if I had dug myself a murky pit and couldn't get out of it. The harder I tried, the deeper I seemed to sink. I was losing my mother, the only person I thought loved me for me.

There in the dark, I tried bargaining with God. Take me, God, and spare my mother. She has done so much for the church. She deserves to continue living. All I have done is destroy my life. What good am I? Why would you want someone like me? As soon as those words left my lips, the words that had been spoken to me by a prophet started sounding so clear in my mind. A warm, comforting feeling began to envelop me. The desperation was leaving me. I knew how I could contribute.

There in the dark, I found a way to give hope to all who didn't know how to find it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 16, 2022
• ISBN: 9781098098957

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My Gift from Above

Susana Del Toro

ISBN 978-1-0980-9894-0 (paperback)

ISBN 978-1-0980-9895-7 (digital)

Copyright © 2021 by Susana Del Toro

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Hi, my name is Susana Del Toro.

I am the sixth daughter of the late Raul and Pastor Maria A. Del Toro.

I grew up in a working-class home. I am the seventh child out of nine. One would think that my mother didn’t have enough time to spend with each child, having had so many, that is. But you would be wrong. She instilled prayer and unity in our family. Furthermore, she encouraged each and every one of us to use our gift given to us by God. Having grown up with the mentality of God first, family second, and everything else placed after, my poetry became my release from my daily struggles.

It seems the more I write down my feelings, the better I feel. I express my joy, my pain, my sadness, and my amazement at God’s greatness. However, I guess it’s safe to say a lot of the poems in this book contain the struggles I’ve been through and the anguish I felt during some pretty devastating situations. You will also read how God has helped me. Yes, I believe it would be safe to say my poetry writing has actually had a very therapeutic effect. While reading the Bible and praying for guidance for the poems, it would be safe to say God has helped me work through some very personal, very painful problems.

Many people who have read my poems tell me they were an inspiration to their lives.

I truly hope through my poems, the spirit of each and every person that reads them will be lifted.

To my mother, Maria A. Del Toro, from whom, I truly believe, I inherited my gift of poetry. I would also like to thank my six sisters. They have always been there for me. It’s because of my family’s belief and encouragement that I have been able to accomplish so much.

My Best Friend

The call comes in, and all grows still

In the very air, you can feel the chill

Your loved one is gone, you hear them say

Then the silly question, Are you okay?

You want to shout, yes, you want to scream

Even pretend that it’s all a dream

Then you remember the love she gave

The times she spent on her knees praying you would be saved

You remember how for you mountains she would move

You remember how your wounded heart she would sooth

You remember all the good times that you both had

You say to yourself, This moment isn’t sad

For one day we will reunite

Yes, after I have fought my last fight

Though the time draws near when we should say goodbye,

Those words make my heart cry.

Those final words I can’t bear say,

For with hope, we face another day.

So instead I say, Till We Meet Again

To My Mother, My Teacher, My Best Friend…

Trying to Resist

My life feels empty and so hollow,

I dread facing the next tomorrow.

Since you left, I’ve felt so lost,

I would give anything to have you back, no matter the cost.

Your life, I begged Him often to spare,

But He never seemed to care.

I often cried out, Take Mine Instead!

I have nothing to lose, nothing to dread.

My prayers never answered, and my heart broken,

From You, I thought no words were ever spoken.

Now I’m here struggling to exist,

Thinking of the forbidden, and fighting to resist.

All of this only You can change,

No matter the direction, no matter the range

Take these thoughts out of my head,

Help me with Your word constantly be fed.

Only then can I begin to live

Only if I partake of the food You give.

My Token

I woke up this morning, my body aching.

It had been harsh, there was no mistaking.

Where were you last night, I cried out,

He didn’t answer, I had no doubt.

All alone and in despair,

No one to turn to, no one to care.

Through my darkness shone a light,

I tried to reach for it with all my might.

As I was swirling deeper and deeper,

I saw my Savior; I saw my Keeper.

Hold on to Me as hard as you can,

For I have power over any man.

I held on tight with all my might,

My enemies ran in such a fright.

All restored, no longer broken,

I praise God with this small token.

The Gift

The greatest joy I’ve ever felt

Came the day I ran to You, and I knelt.

Forgive me for all I’ve ever done,

You answered I forgive everyone…

Take My hand, and you will see,

What it is you mean to Me.

My vision cleared, my eyes open,

All was paid, I owed no token.

For you, child, My blood ran red,

That is all that needs to be said.

Again, I cried for in the past,

My faithfulness would never last.

My love for you will never end.

No matter what life has to send,

Just lean on Me, I heard Him say.

I will gladly show you the way.

He may come with hate and strife,

Just remember for you I gave my life.

My Great Friend

This relationship started rocky,

Cause we would both get cocky.

Manipulated by love for the same man,

He played us like no other can.

Through hard times and in my darkest hour,

A friendship grew that nothing could sour.

No one would ever guess,

A sister would come out of that mess.

My will to go on became stronger.

My joy-filled days grew longer.

Thank you, Lord, I do dare say

Frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way

Though troubles come our way,

God will help us through each and every day

He has been our guiding light when we can’t see

Lighting the road for you and me

No matter the distance, You make us strong

Keep us united Lord all day long

So thank you, Lord, for this great friend,

Bless her always until the end.

My Worth

I was sitting in front of the window,

Just reflecting on the roads I’ve traveled.

I was surprised at the amount of information

That in a short time I had gathered.

The more I thought about the times I felt so all alone,

The more I realized that You had never really gone.

It was I who constantly pushed You away,

Never did I once think that all You wanted to do is stay.

No matter how many times I pushed and pushed and pushed,

When I needed You to my side, You would always rush.