MeditHate: The Unconventional guide to meditation

By A.S. Salomone

So... what are you waiting for? Get ready to embark on a life-changing journey of laughter and enlightenment with MeditHate! This hilarious and sarcastic guide will not only have you rolling on the floor with laughter but also transform the way you perceive meditation.

Say goodbye to boring and stuffy meditation practices and hello to a whole new world of sarcastic self-discovery. MeditHate will challenge your preconceived notions, make you question the spiritual fuss, and show you that laughter truly is the best stress relief.

Imagine finding inner peace through uncontrollable giggles, achieving enlightenment by embracing your inner MeditHater, and discovering a newfound appreciation for the absurdity of life. This book will leave you feeling refreshed, rejuvenated, and ready to face the world with a smile on your face.

But don't just take our word for it. Countless readers have already experienced the transformative power of MeditHate and are raving about its impact. Are you ready to join them? Say yes to a life filled with laughter, sarcasm, and a new perspective on mindfulness.

So, don't miss out on this opportunity to change your life, one chuckle at a time. Get your copy of MeditHate today and unlock the secrets of meditation without the spiritual fluff. It's time to laugh your way to a happier, more enlightened you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jul 14, 2023
• ISBN: 9781447500353

Book preview

Introduction

Welcome to MeditHate - Where Meditation Meets Sarcasm with a Dash of Enlightenment!

Get ready to embark on a hilarious, thought-provoking, and slightly unconventional journey into the world of meditation. MeditHate is not your run-of-the-mill meditation book. It's a rebellious and unapologetic approach to mindfulness that will make you question everything you thought you knew about finding inner peace.

So, what exactly is MeditHate? It's a delightful concoction of humour, wit, and a healthy dose of sarcasm, all blended together to challenge your preconceptions and ignite your curiosity. We're here to show you that meditation doesn't have to be all monks and mantras. It can be accessible, relatable, and yes, even fun!

In the chapters that follow, we'll take you on a roller-coaster ride through the uncharted territories of MeditHate. We'll explore unconventional techniques like incorporating swearing into your practice (because let's face it, sometimes a well-placed expletive can be oddly cathartic). We'll laugh our way through laughter yoga, where absurdity and giggles become tools for inner peace. We'll savoir the flavours of mindful eating, without turning into pretentious food snobs. And we'll dip our toes into the world of Neuro-Linguistic Programming, discovering practical techniques for mindfulness that won't turn you into a F@#king cult leader.

But here's the deal, dear reader: MeditHate isn't for the faint of heart or those seeking a traditional, cookie-cutter approach. It's for those who crave a fresh perspective, an irreverent take on a centuries-old practice. It's for the curious souls who are willing to challenge the norms and embrace a different path to enlightenment.

So, if you're ready to let go of expectations, loosen up those chakras, and dive head-first into a world where mindfulness and sarcasm collide, then grab a cushion, put on your favourite humorous hat, and join us on this unforgettable journey with MeditHate! Let's redefine meditation, one good laugh at a time.

PART 1

Chapter 1

Meditation: A Contemplation of Yawns

In this chapter, we dive straight into the heart of the matter—how incredibly dull and mundane meditation can be for some people. We explore various sarcastic techniques to make your meditation practice as boring as possible. From counting your breaths to imagining you're watching paint dry, we've got you covered.

Let's face it, sometimes meditation can be as exciting as watching paint dry. But hey, if you're into that kind of s#@t, then this chapter is for you. We'll explore some mind-numbingly dull techniques that will have you questioning your life choices faster than you can say "F#@k it!."

First up, we have the thrilling activity of counting your breaths. Yup, that's right, just sit there and count your breaths like an accountant. It's the perfect way to make your mind wander off into a sea of boredom and monotony. Trust me, you'll be daydreaming about anything other than enlightenment in