How To Let Go

By Rugby Daniels

The 3 Simple Words That Will Give You Freedom and Happiness Like Never Before

 

Are you actively pursuing your dreams?

 

Or do you stick to what's socially-acceptable?

 

Do you let society pressure you into doing the norm, instead of going after the vision you have in your head?

 

We have all been conditioned to live a certain way, work specific jobs, and engage in relationships that are deemed appealing

.

How much longer are you going to postpone the beginning of your actual life? The life that is going to give you happiness, profound satisfaction, and purpose?

 

Moving on to discovering peace and joy is a lot simpler than many people imagine it to be.

 

The process is far from costly, disruptive, and revolutionary. Rather, it involves opening your eyes and seeing all of the superficial things you've been conditioned into deeming important.

 

Making the most of your life is all about three simple words:

 

LET IT GO!

 

Stop sweating the small things. Stop striving for perfection!

 

It's much better to try something out and fail than not do anything at all. Perfectionism and the fear of the unknown are keeping you from enjoying all of life's colors, joys, and opportunities.

 

Sounds like a great plan, but how do you actually let go?

 

What does it take to overcome fear and anxiety, as well as the anticipated consequences of your brand new actions?

 

In How To Let Go, you will discover:

• What perfectionism really is – fear disguised in pompous clothes
• 7 deadly ways your pursuit of perfection is keeping you from having a great life
• Profound ways your insecurities are limiting your abilities and passions
• A crucial first step that will make the process of letting go smoother and easier
• An important secret all happy people know and embrace
• A foolproof way to stop seeking approval from others when chasing your dreams
• The immense power of just doing stuff, even if you're approaching it in an imperfect way
• The coolness of making mistakes and why you should embrace them
• Powerful worst case scenario visualization and why it isn't such a bad thing after all

And so much more!

 

Ask yourself one very simple question – are you happy right now?

 

Are you living life with every fiber of your being, or are you just existing?

 

If the latter is true, why are you letting opportunities pass you by?

 

We live in a dynamic, quick-paced world that rewards perfectionism and sticking to the script. Chances are, however, that this narrative isn't making you feel alive.

 

It's time to break free from the status quo.

 

To do so, you have to let go of everything toxic and damaging that you've been taught to embrace fully.

 

Make the switch right now by learning from someone who has been in your shoes and who has experienced the same doubts as the ones you're going through right now.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Ruby Daniels
• Release date: Mar 20, 2023
• ISBN: 9798215750667

Book preview

How to Let Go

The Pathway to Dealing With Imperfection and Finding Peace

––––––––

Rugby Daniels

© Copyright 2020 - All rights reserved.

The content contained within this book may not be reproduced, duplicated or transmitted without direct written permission from the author or the publisher.

Under no circumstances will any blame or legal responsibility be held against the publisher, or author, for any damages, reparation, or monetary loss due to the information contained within this book, either directly or indirectly.

Legal Notice:

This book is copyright protected. It is only for personal use. You cannot amend, distribute, sell, use, quote or paraphrase any part, or the content within this book, without the consent of the author or publisher.

Disclaimer Notice:

Please note the information contained within this document is for educational and entertainment purposes only. All effort has been executed to present accurate, up to date, reliable, complete information. No warranties of any kind are declared or implied. Readers acknowledge that the author is not engaged in the rendering of legal, financial, medical or professional advice. The content within this book has been derived from various sources. Please consult a licensed professional before attempting any techniques outlined in this book.

By reading this document, the reader agrees that under no circumstances is the author responsible for any losses, direct or indirect, that are incurred as a result of the use of the information contained within this document, including, but not limited to, errors, omissions, or inaccuracies.

Table of Contents

Introduction

Chapter 1: Perfection Is an Illusion (and It’s Holding You Back)

What Makes Perfectionism an Illusion?

Seven Deadly Chains

Missed Opportunities

To Fear Your Mistakes Is to Fear Success

Fear, Disappointment, and Unrealistic Expectations

Risks Strike More Fear

You Stay Within the Lines

Perfectionism Is a Crutch for Relationships

Cripples Your Self-Esteem

Recognizing Your Tendencies

Chapter 2: Dealing With the Factors That Fuel Perfectionism

Defining Unrealistic Expectations

Insecurities Come Calling

Childhood Gambles

Fixed or Flexible Mindsets

Peer Pressure and Society

Mental Health Problems

Chapter 3: The Power of Doing

Evolving Self-Actualization

Please, Just Let Go...

Hitting Roadblocks

The Immense Power of Doing

Chapter 4: Loving Your Mistakes

Mistakes Don’t Mean Failure

How to Embrace Your Mistakes

Welcome Learning Curves

Open Your Mind to Insightful Mistakes

Be Human!

Planning Is a Form of Control

Accept Responsibility

Interrogate Your Mistake

Embrace the Messiness

Use Hindsight

Chapter 5: Deal With Your Need for Approval

Identifying the Culprits

Six Strides From Approval to Self-Fulfillment

Analyze the Source

Re-Evaluate Your Social Circle

Crush Negative Self-Talk

Getting to Know Yourself

Stop Needing Approval With One Question

Readjust Your Societal Value

Chapter 6: Expect Nothing and Embrace the Uncertainty

What the Adjustment Brings

How to Enter the Flow of Fulfilment

Seize the Moment

Acknowledge and Embrace Your Fears

Become Fluid

Detach and Find Freedom

Take Charge

Know When to Step Back

Chapter 7: When All Else Fails, Think of the Worst Case Scenario

Fatalism Versus Realistic Expectations

How to Do It

Hack Your Fears

Looking Through the Lens

A Deeper Journey

Conclusion

References

Image References

Introduction

George Orwell once said: The essence of being human is that one does not seek perfection. How much does it sting to know that humans can’t be perfect? It doesn’t change the way you’re always striving for better, more, and perfect. Moreover, the pursuit of perfection is snowballing faster with each generation that comes. Millennials and Generation Z adults enter the workforce with expectations that can’t be manifested.

This cut-throat world takes no prisoners. Corporate empires drive the need for perfection with each year that passes. Everyone is seeking to improve on their last effort and aiming for the spot next to the big glass window. Our perfectionism impacts our work on every level, and sometimes, it can blow up in our faces. But can we expect anything less when success and happiness are so often competitive?

The worst is when a young lady walks into a boardroom with every bit of passion and excitement in her eyes because she worked hard to create the perfect presentation. She put her soul into it and a bit more. It doesn’t matter that she sees double after losing sleep the night before. All that matters is that her boss and colleagues praise her for wowing them. She barely makes it through the presentation before her ears start ringing from mounting fatigue.

Nothing will stop her because she only gives her best. She can do anything she expects of herself. What she doesn’t realize is that her colleagues notice the slurred speech, and let’s not mention the slides she forgot to add to her presentation from rushing. Suddenly, her greatest fear comes to life as she notices the slides are missing, and her boss asks her if she’d like to sit down or drink a glass of water.

No, she thinks to herself, I can push through this like so many times before. She won’t let her past failures dictate her current success. She missed deadlines and screwed up so many projects at university because she just wanted to impress her parents, professors, and peers. She’s always felt this heavy burden on her shoulders because the world was watching, and any stumble would be followed with failure.

She cannot afford failure. What would people think if she didn’t make something of herself after all? At the end of the day, she never got the standing ovation for her presentation as hoped. Instead, she was met with questionable glances after a messy train wreck. Her ideas were perfect, so how did she mess it up? This young lady, wounded and tattered, calls a friend after work to have some drinks who declines because she doesn’t drink on a Monday.

She calls another, and they’re busy. Now, she finds herself scrolling through the many faces on a random dating app. She is afraid of meeting a guy because she thinks she isn’t attractive enough to interest anyone worthwhile. So, she finally closes the app and goes to bed. Tomorrow is another day, right? Her fear of judgment is crippling her life, preventing her from sharing her genuinely innovative ideas at work.

It also emerges in low body image and prevents her from meeting someone she can love. She thinks her nose is too big, her arms aren’t slim enough, and she has no confidence in her ability to maintain small talk. She’s so afraid of making a mistake that she remains isolated, and the disappointment from work has just amplified these fears. Why is this happening to her, and why is life so unfair? She’s been taught to always do her best, and yet, it is never enough.

This young woman is miserable because of perfectionism, and she can’t see it. Perfectionism can destroy your life, and you probably know this if you’re reading this book. The harder you try to meet the standards of the corporate world, society, friends, family, and mentors, the harder you will fall into depressing thoughts. Why is happiness so far from perfection if you were told that is what's needed?

If only you knew how far perfectionism, happiness, and success are from each other. What if I told you that perfectionism is a recipe for failure and discontent? If life was so easy for this generation and perfectionism was the key to success, why are Americans unhappier than they’ve been in 50 years according to the latest polls (Lush, 2020)? Indeed, there’s a worldwide pandemic at large, but it’s fueled by unrealistic expectations.

Perfectionism was a genuine threat for younger generations, even before the pandemic struck. In 2018, 33% of women scored high on perfectionism surveys in America, as well as 21% of men (Ward, 2018). Moreover, 44% of women were self-critical in the corporate fields, and 34% of men. This proves that women are far more likely to suffer from the consequences that follow inconceivable perfectionism.

Women have always felt the need to push harder, be better, and show that they’re just as capable of doing what men can do. Indeed, they can, but this drive has created an avalanche of unrealistic expectations and a detachment from being human, and all humans need to be realistic and consider what their strengths are. It doesn’t help if this young lady’s life is a mess because she can’t meet her own standards.

What matters is that she’s miserable because she puts other people’s ideals before her own. She never realized how cut-throat the corporate world is, and always thought that she needed to be someone she’s not to meet her dream partner. What she hasn’t considered is that no one has ever told her she’s not beautiful. Her mind is consumed by the romantic comedies filled with specific expectations and the media that promotes certain figures.

This woman is perfect the way she is, and no one can take that from her. Men are also at risk for perfectionism, and if only they knew that it was the downfall of success. Perfectionism won’t make you invincible. It can and will break you and everything you stand for if you let it. I was on your path when I first entered the corporate world. The pressure felt as high as a peak on Mount Everest.

I was always miserable, trying to improve and enhance some factor of the work. I wanted to be better than my coworkers, always get a promotion, and share my success with my family. So, needless to say, it didn’t take long for the corporate world to break me. I felt at the end of my rope and that