Equal Opportunity Destroyer: Women vs. Women in the Workplace

By Paula Trammell

Today’s workplace can be challenging, particularly for Christians aspiring to do great work and avoid the conflicts it can present. Equal Opportunity Destroyer exposes the issue of how women mistreat other women in the workplace. It is a selection of occurrences and observations and how the author navigated them in her own experience. Women must do better to encourage and accept each other in the workplace. Everyone has something great to contribute. Greater responsibility falls on women in leadership to use their position to help all employees become successful. The hope of this book is for women to recognize the potential in other women and support it, not destroy it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Sep 27, 2021
• ISBN: 9781638144519

Book preview

Chapter 1

New World

My position at company 1 was terminated. I felt very fortunate to have been hired by company 2 April 2007. The company had an incredible reputation in the community. I believed I should have been at the company. I didn’t believe I should have been placed in the department I was assigned. Only God knows why. I took a forty percent pay cut to work at company 2 but felt I could move up quickly into a position to match my skill set and salary needs. I told HR my talents and experience would be better served in another area. The HR recruiter told me I could apply after twelve months for a position in a different department. I held on to that false hope for my entire thirteen-year tenure. In the end, I determined there was no chance I would ever leave my current department. The grow where you are planted strategy does not apply in all cases. It didn’t apply to me. For a company to disregard people who may be exceptions to that rule does the company and the employee an incredible disservice. It results the squandering of talent, skill, and experience.

I was, however, excited about working for company 2. I believed I could contribute to the operational procedures and could offer solutions to process more efficiently. Of course, I was bright-eyed and ready to get to work. It was so refreshing to have a new opportunity, and I believed at that time I was in a good place.

I came to the company with anxiety disorder and some PTSD from a hostile work environment from company 1. I was still agitated, but I used that agitation to my advantage as it made my work more efficient. I knew quality would be more important, so I always focused on my quality. I still didn’t like the physical work environment. I had always been a little disoriented in large open rooms with lots of fluorescent lights. This condition worsened as time passed. I was seated most of the day except for a few steps back and forth to the printer. I kept pretty much kept to myself and kept my nose on the computer screen. Large groups of people made me uncomfortable. When we had department meetings, I would leave a few minutes early to the meeting room and sit down while there was so much movement around me. I didn’t discuss my health issues or how they came about to anyone for a long time. There was no impact on my production or quality, and I figured it was no one’s business. I didn’t even tell my supervisor as I had already determined this work environment was the biggest gossip mill I have ever encountered. Additionally, the stigma attached to mental health issues would have been considered a disadvantage in my personal goals. I didn’t pay attention to the talk. I just learned the tasks and kept working. I didn’t bother anyone. I was respectful of everyone.

Workplace Dynamics

Today women raise their daughters to present themselves well, to be bold, strong, believe in themselves, ask questions, and offer solutions in the workplace to be noticed and succeed. What happens when a woman is that way entering a new company? I was a middle-aged woman entering a new workplace. I was accomplished, attractive, talented, experienced, and I had an operational knowledge of the industry that gave me an edge. I could ask the questions and offer solutions even if they were not accepted or utilized. I conducted myself and dressed professionally. I didn’t boast about my experience. I learned quickly and tried to help other team members as best I could as I learned more.

As the days and weeks passed, I noticed the environment dynamics. I suppose it was no different than other large companies. This one seemed like a menopausal sorority. I was in the middle of a bunch of menopausal mean girls. It seemed some of the women had been at the company since their high school days, and they still acted like it. There was more than a mothering spirit; it was smothering. I was treated like a teenager just out of high school. I was treated like I was stupid, talked to like I was stupid, and talked about like I was stupid. I wondered if the women in management used their positions to hurt or embarrass people just because they could. It seemed everywhere I turned, there was negative gossip. And soon the gossip was about me.

I immediately discovered a team member that clearly didn’t care for me. I will call her Lucille. She was responsible for tutoring myself and the other female employee hired with me on how to use some of the software exclusive to the company. Lucille didn’t teach me anything. I picked up the procedures watching other team members perform the dozen or so tasks assigned to the team. I did mention the difficulty to my supervisor, but there was little change. Looking back, I believe this was a control mechanism or how Lucille has power over someone by controlling the knowledge. This would make someone needy for her help. There is an old saying, He who holds the knowledge holds the power. Regardless, I learned quickly as I was already familiar with some of the more common computer programs used at my previous employer. My new team member did not fare so well. I will call her Sherry. She was having a difficult time and would frequently get upset. Once I learned a task or certain procedure, I would show her and encourage her. Sherry and I became friends and found out we lived just a few blocks from each other. We carpooled for the first few months on the job. We stopped when she wanted to start working a little later each day and I just wanted to go home. I didn’t have a problem with it.

There were a couple occasions I did go to Lucille with a question. She snapped at me the first time. I considered she was just having a bad day. The second time it happened, I began to wonder about her, so I asked a few of the team members, What’s up with her? The only response I got was, That’s just Lucille being Lucille. I observed Lucille wasn’t rude to everyone on the team. After she helped other team members nicely, I would go ask a question. And once again, she snapped at me. It was clear I would not get any help from her. Since there was no formal training for the team I was assigned, I asked other team members for assistance. Lucille didn’t like that either. I went around her to get answers. She would complain I was disrespecting her. Her favorite term for me was noncompliant when I was only trying to get the job done and do my best.

I had determined Lucille may have felt threatened by me while I did nothing to provoke it. I talked with my supervisor about this just to keep her informed as apparently nothing was going to be done. I even offered to have a sit-down with Lucille to try and understand whatever the problem. This didn’t happen either. You see, I believe Lucille had put a target on my back, and I started to hear the rumors about myself circulating the department within a month of employment. I was under suspicion the remainder of my years at company 2.

I believed the reason was jealousy or just mean-spiritedness. Some rumors were started by members of my team. Lucille disregarding her responsibilities, talked them up to all her friends, many also in the leadership. I quickly became the new topic of conversation in the department. It seemed Lucille was constantly creating reasonable doubt about me with anything I said or did. My nice new environment quickly became oppressive. Every day I felt like I was working in a minefield, and I found myself waiting for the daily conflict. It only got worse.

I continued to observe the environment to learn more about the personalities of my team. Most of the people on my team were what I would call people pleasers. Lucille would be rude to them; they would cry at their desk and say nothing. Then they would go back to her, and it would happen all over again for some. I learned staying out of trouble on the team meant allowing Lucille to mistreat you, or you had to be tight with the supervisor. I just tried to ignore her. I would tolerate as much as I could, then I would say something about it to my supervisor. One of the team members came to me upset one day. I encouraged her to talk to the supervisor or go to HR. Other team members wanted me to go to HR and report this behavior since I didn’t seem to get upset under constant attack. Lucille learned I would report her behavior to my supervisor, though little was done.

Lucille was obviously a bully. Bullies need followers. I don’t respond to bullies. I could be blamed for anything. It seemed anything I would say, any comment, any suggestion was met with opposition even with my related work experience and edge in operational knowledge. My words were frequently twisted into something sinister or against Lucille. I determined Lucille liked to create the drama, then expose the drama she created