Meditations and Encouragement for the Caregiver of a Loved One with Dementia

By Barbara Hinther

During my last few years caring for my husband with Lewy body dementia, I found lots of medical and psychological information about his disease and other brain/dementia disorders, but very little to give hope, comfort, and strength for the caregiver. This little book is to provide you some of this as you enter the dark night of the soul. My hope is to provide a glimmer of peace and comfort during this dementia trial""and it is a trial. Until there is a cure, my prayers and comfort are yours through this little book.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: May 15, 2019
• ISBN: 9781644921043

Book preview

Day 1

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For as we share abundantly in Christ’s sufferings, so through Christ we share abundantly in comfort too.

—2 Corinthians 1:3–5

When it was time for my husband to be placed in the nursing home, I felt tremendous guilt and pain. I felt I had nothing to offer. I was wrong! Even with the fear and pain, there were those in the home that had no one. I remember taking a break from being with my husband to walking with a woman who had Alzheimer’s. She used to be quite the horsewoman until the disease stole her health. Her eyes lit up, though, when she could access some horse stories. I had horses and loved them, so we shared something special.

There was a young veteran there with a traumatic brain injury from his war service. Not a lot going on there until I brought my English cocker spaniel to visit. My dog, Bogey, would pull him in his wheelchair up and down the halls, and the veteran’s face would light up.

My point is that even when we are in despair and have nothing to give, God still works through us. I don’t understand all of God’s mysterious ways, but you still have something to give that will comfort you in your dark hours. Please embrace this. God chose you. We pick up our cross daily.

Day 2

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.

—Proverbs 3:5–6

Reads easy, does hard. Doesn’t it? When I cannot do this due to the horrific symptoms of dementia, I ask the Holy Spirit to do it for me. I really relied on the Holy Spirit in the middle of the night when the tears came. I still do. Dementia is traumatic for the caregiver and the loved one. Do not trust in your feelings. This is a spiritual war and a physical war. Or the victory is the Lord’s. The really hard part is that the victory may come at death. My heart and prayers are with you, fellow warrior.

Day 3

Simon, Simon, Satan has asked to sift each of you like wheat. But I have prayed for you, Simon, that your faith will not fail. And when you have turned back, strengthen your brothers.

—Luke 22:31

Our loved one is suffering from dementia, but we are the ones losing our minds! The thing I notice in this verse is that Satan has to ask. And there’s the rub. God has chosen us to walk through this valley of the shadow of death for and with our loved one. We really do not want to be chosen, do we? And yet, if we have spiritual eyes (and many times, we don’t), we see that God has burdened us and yet blessed us with the ability to walk this and usher in comfort and love. Love demands a price eventually. Look at the cross, but also look at the suffering Jesus endured before the cross—the humiliation before the cross and at the cross. When a loved one needs their pants changed and feeding like a newborn, we feel the disgrace for our loved one and for ourselves. And dementia demands