The Unforgettable Experience!: The Voice from Within

By Charleania Major

The book The Unforgettable Experience! reflects countless memories of how I had to overcome obstacles through learning how to trust the process of God. This book reflects different experiences of how I had to travel in the same place but the same season, and even when I have traveled different places, I was still repeating some of the similar experiences. This book reflects the different levels of maturity of growth that I had encountered and experienced through each journey that I have had with God. The unforgettable experience will reflect the many times that I have experienced hearing the voice of God through many twists, bumps, turns, dead-end roads, self-doubts, and disappointments that life had to offer me. This book will reflect every area of my encounter of self-esteem, self-identify, season of suicide, season of rejection, season of brokenness, season of being misunderstood, and season of the lost.

The Unforgettable Experience! is not just a book that reflects the countless encounters with my faith but this book reflects the journey of how I once thought things were impossible that God showed me that he was the Father of impossibilities and the Father of possibilities. The Unforgettable Experience! will speak of the many accounts how having faith in God had brought me out some of the darkest places in my walk. Although this was a journey, this book will empower many that have gone through similar experiences and going through the now experience that what I thought was impossible, God took every situation in my life that had occur to turn around for my good. If God could do it for me, the Father can surely do for you. This book reflects how God was molding me for purpose, and now I know my full purpose because of those experiences. What I thought was breaking me was just making me. What I thought that I could not overcome, I overcame through faith, transformation, and trust.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 1, 2022
• ISBN: 9781098033828

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The Unforgettable Experience!

The Voice from Within

Charleania Major

Copyright © 2020 by Charleania Major

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

The Process of Trusting God

Why Me, Lord?

Why Must I Obey

Learning to Be Content

When I Almost Gave Up

My Wilderness Experience

The Consequence When I Said No

When the Lord Caused Me to Downsize

When God Circumcised My Heart

When Things Just Don’t Fit

When I Had to Walk in Faith

Why Is It So Hard to Forgive?

When Others Didn’t Understand the Purpose of My Life

Love

The Greatest Friend I Found in Him

Confidence

Being Deprived of Development

Thankful

Laboring

Birthing

Dedication

This book is dedicated to the Almighty himself because without him, none of this would be possible. God spoke to me letting me know that the places that I have been in my life are not going to be in vain. God told me that my journey is going to empower many in a way that I would not imagine. I learned through this journey of faith that no matter what I have faced, God has always been with me. Through my journey of faith, I had to understand that suffering for the Father is greatly rewarded and that my suffering was not just for me but I was breaking barriers for others to cross over. God reminded me of Joshua 1:5, As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you. God has always been a constant lover of my life, and I’m forever grateful. Now that I know to abide in the Father and he abides in me, I won’t thirst for death, but I will always have an everlasting covenant with him (John 15:6).

Acknowledgments

I’m a firm believer that God will appoint a Moses and a Joshua at every stage and phase of your life to bring you out of your valley experience. Each of these ladies have imparted something special in my life that I will forever take with me. They all hold a special place in my heart. Some of these ladies are midwives because I could have not birthed what I am and whose I am at every leverage in my walk. I would not be half the woman that I am today if it had not been for these ladies and their inner strength to carry me over. I am blessed that God formed them for my path and has helped me at every level to produce purpose. I thank God for my caterpillar seasons with these ladies because I’m now able to fly and be the brightest butterfly that mankind can see. When God allowed my path to cross with these ladies at different stages of my life, they instantly knew that my life was full of purpose, which they had to help fulfill so that I could crack open the treasure box of what I could not see that was amazing to them. Psalm 139:14 exemplifies these ladies’ zeal for God because they are fearful and wonderfully made in the image of God; therefore, they were wonderfully made just for me.

Chapter 1

The Process of Trusting God

Proverbs 3:5–6, Hebrews 13:5, Luke 17:6, Psalm 56:3, Job 13:15, Isaiah 53:3, Romans 12:1–2, Psalm 66:12

As I reflect on the concept of how I had to process trusting God, I realize that it is beyond mind-blowing. The journey of learning how to trust God was a road that I thought I’d never take in the way that the Father orchestrated the past several years. When I look back on my journey with learning how to trust the Father, God gave me a smitten imagination that the journey that I started on was not familiar to what I experienced when I was a teenager. God was giving me a rude awakening that my journey of trusting him did not start in my adulthood, when I made my mind up to serve him wholly. I had to definitely process learning how to trust God when it came to my life going through high school. I was in my last year of high school thinking that everything was peaches and cream that I was finally out. I was focusing on going into the service or possibly going to college. Suddenly the worst happened as I was preparing for graduation. I got the bad news of a lifetime that I was not going to be graduating high school. I was not going to be graduating high school because of some standardized test that we normally take at the end of the school year. When I took the test, it was a year prior to me finishing school, and I didn’t take it seriously and had the opportunity to take the exam again my senior year, thinking that everything was peaches and cream then. I really didn’t have the slightest clue that if I did not pass that, it would keep me from graduating from high school.

But when God reminded me about that time that I had to go through that season of learning how to trust him with being able to move forward, it came with learning how to have faith and how to pray. God showed me then that was when my journey really started. God showed me—when I entered a Christian class that was a requirement during school—that was when the process came because I had to learn to develop the advantage of trust. The one thing that I developed from that class was the Word of God, and I believe the Lord was showing me that if I had not developed reading those scriptures or knowing how to pray, then when I was faced with what I was facing, I would have not been able to produce through that season. The one scripture that comes to mind is Proverbs 3:5–6, I will trust in the Lord with all thine heart and lean not to thy own understanding in all thy ways acknowledge him that he shall direct thy path way straight. When I tell you I had to learn to trust the Lord God with every fiber of my being, I had to trust the Lord with my life.

When I found out that I was not able to finish high school on time, it put me in such high emotions. It did a lot to my faith; it made me question God a lot pertaining to why was I always going through some hardship and felt that I was never getting anywhere. I remember the day as if it was yesterday. When the lady called from the school to inform me that I was not going to be able to march with my class, I remember being in my bathroom on the floor crying and asking her why. The lady was expressing to me how sorry she was that I would not be able to graduate. I asked her if there was anything that I could do, and she said no, but she told me that my parents and I could go up to the school district to see what could be done. When I was told that it was very much that could be done, I really went in a rage of crying. When I told my mother what happened, she got upset as well, and I explained to her what the lady told me what we could do, and she told me to get my clothes on so that we could go to the school district—not knowing that we would get the same result from what was told to me when I received the phone call. Look, that moment in my young life was supposed to be the best time of my life because I was officially starting my adult life, but it ended up being what I thought to be my worst nightmare. I wanted to truly wake up from the dream, but every chance I got to pinch myself, before I knew it, I was at the school district with my mother hoping and praying that we could have found some resolution. The lady from the school district explained to my mother that it was nothing that they could have done and that they changed the rules a year prior; they were not going to let students who did not pass the exit exam receive a diploma until the exam was taken over. The lady expressed her remorse to me, but I was beyond furious about the situation, and I wanted to go crawl under a rock and not come out. I was told that I could go to the summer program to get the extra help in order to prepare me to retest later that summer so that I could receive my diploma. My mother was beyond upset as well because she expressed how much money that was already invested in the graduation and knew that she could not get her money back. Once we were able to get the understanding that we needed, we went home, and I went into my room crying and broken. I felt that the Lord had forsaken me, that he did not want to see me do well. Later in life, I knew that was not to be true, but because I did not have the relationship with God yet, I was not understanding that what was happening was a test of my faith. I was more embarrassed than anything because I was not able to march with my friends or my class, and it brought on embarrassment to my family because I was the last one and did not finish.

I was in a place of disbelief for several days until I went over to visit my former boyfriend and his family, where I told his mother how I was feeling, and that was when I heard her express her insights to me about God. My ex-boyfriend’s mother at the time told me that everything was going to work itself out, that I had to put all of my trust into the Lord, and I expressed to her that I did not know how to do that. I asked her why God caused this to happen and what was going to happen next when it came to my life. She told me that she could not tell me what was going to happen but just know that I was going to be okay with where I was and that I was going to pass that exam. She told me that oftentimes in life that sometime before we can get to where we desire to go, God brings about testing, and we have to pass the test with the assurance that things will work out if we believe. I was more focused on why God would leave me in a place of hurt, guilt, shame, confusion, and loneliness. Then she expressed to me, The Lord will never leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5). She said, What makes you think that the Lord will forsake you? God is not a god that will cause harm or damage to your life, but understand that the Lord has a purpose and a plan for your life, and when it comes to your situation, know that he has a plan and purpose behind everything that we do. She told me to understand that things happen for a reason. I had to learn the value of all that she said to me, but it never made any sense until I was able to get to the end to understand that I had to trust in the Lord with all my heart and lean not to my own ways of thinking. God has shown me that I had to go through the process in order to meet the end.

I went on to attend the summer program thinking, I’m going to finally get to the end of this, but I don’t think that I was tapping into faith the way I should. Well, the Lord knew I had to be tested again because I was not in that place of believing. I attended the class for six weeks, and what I was supposed to learn was to prepare me for the exam. I felt ready, but I don’t think I was as confident as I looked. I went on to take the exam not realizing that I was going to be hit with the same news again, but I was not paying attention to what God was teaching me: how to push for what I want and that he was showing me how close I was to where I needed to be when it came to my winning season. Anyhow, I took the exam, showed up at the school, where I was preparing to be told that I did not pass and that I missed passing the exam by a few points. Now I felt really betrayed from the Father. I was thinking, How can you express in your Word that I will never leave you nor forsake you! Yet I felt forsaken.

I wanted to give up right there. I don’t think that I had it in me to go back in there to retake the exam again. The lady who was working with me told me that I could go back and give it another try because I was not that far off from passing, and I honestly did not want to hear that. She told me that I had to take the adult education class so that it could help me. I was saying to myself, I could not understand for the life of me why I couldn’t pass this exam. I felt like I was never going to get anywhere in life; I felt defeat in the midst of it all, not knowing that the Lord was still testing my faith in how I had to learn to trust him. I was still stuck in what happened the last time and not comprehending what was taking place at that very moment. I allowed everything that my ex-boyfriend’s mother told me to go in one ear and out the other. But God was confirming Hebrews 13:5 the more during that situation. When the lady told me not to give up, it was as if God was speaking through her to tell me, You still got a chance to retest again, and if you show me your willingness to test again, you don’t know what would happen next. I was so overwhelmed with this situation that I was given and calling it quits. I had to learn to yield to Proverbs 3:5–6 and Hebrews 13:5 in order to meet the next place that I was walking, and I did not understand that I was creating a faith path for my life that was going to impact the next ten years of my life. I could not see far in my future, but that season placed a role for every other door that I had to enter. I believe the thing that really helped me through that process was God allowing me to encounter someone who became my everything—teaching me how to pray, understanding the Word, and confessing the Word that I was speaking out of my mouth. Also, God removed me from a toxic environment in order to have that fresh start. If it weren’t for my ex-boyfriend’s mother, my then new boyfriend, and my new environment of people, I think that I wouldn’t have survived that season altogether. God had given me people to be a pillar for my faith that season. They taught me how to truly trust God through the Word. I learned throughout that season that God will often provide you with what you need in order to get you to the place that is purposed and designed for your life. I felt like the connections that I had were divine connections because what was about to die was being revived through those that had a pillar of faith that I need. When I stepped into the next level to trust God, I had to go with the understanding that he will never forsake me or leave my side no matter what the outcome was. But this time when I was preparing for the exam, going in was different because I had someone who took the time to show me that the reason I couldn’t pass was the fact that I saw how to do the problems in my head but I had a problem with writing it down on paper. God showed me, See, I will send a cure to your problem, but you have to learn to trust the process. Once I was able to figure out the problems, it gave me a sense of hope that things were going to work out. When the time finally arrived for me to test again, man, I had emotions running through my mind, but I had those in my corner that encouraged me I was going to win this time around. I had to learn not to battle with my past, which we all know that the past will oftentimes be the reason we can’t move forward, and I had to remember what took place was not going to determine what the outcome was going to be this time around because I had the tools of faith, and I had things working in my favor because God’s Word said it. I still felt like the odds were still against me, but this time it felt different because I tapped into a tool that I didn’t know was going to change my life for the better. I did not understand the power of prayer; however, I had a key unction that if I pray, I would pass.

Now that I understood that I had a learning disability, I had no reason to be ashamed of, that I was gonna be able to proceed with life. Now that I knew what was going on, I had the choice to back down to not succeed or push through and succeed. The ball was in my court, and that came with standing in my faith with the Father.

The morning of the exam, I had so much anxiety and reflected on the past, thinking that I was not going to pass again, then something struck me to pray before I left the house, so I prayed and asked God to allow my mind to focus and not allow me to be distracted by anything, and I asked him to be with me throughout the exam; and when I got off the floor, I could feel a sense of peace and hope—not faith, but just hope. Luke 17:6 says you have to have faith as small as a mustard seed. God was teaching me through that word I had to go with the ounce of faith that I had to pull through the unthinkable. As I was preparing to walk out the door, God had a ram in the bush that he sent—my uncle to pray for me to give me the reassurance that things were going to be different when it came to this move I was making.

When I took the exam, I was very surprised how fast I finished it because when I left the classroom, I don’t think that I ever looked back, but I was nervous as ever going, but I knew that in Psalm 56:3, it talks about when you are afraid that you ought to put all of your trust in the Father no matter what the outcome. That was the thing for me—awaiting the outcome. I didn’t understand that I had to wait in faith as well as have faith. I want to say several weeks went by that I forgot about the exam because I was focusing on working. I arrived home one evening from an outing, and I saw on the table some items that my aunt had gone out of her way to purchase; they look from a distance to be some school materials. It did not occur to me that the gift on the table was for me. Before I could ask what was the gift for, my aunt screamed that I passed the test and that the lady who was administering the test called to let her know that I passed. It didn’t click at first, but eventually the excitement came. What I thought was my ending became my beginning and my journey to really learning how to trust God. The Lord definitely did not forsake me nor did he leave me. All it took was having faith and trusting. I had to learn to get out of the way so God could get in the way. Thanks be to God, I was able to have a future, and I did go to college, where I excelled, and I was able to finish college with a degree. All the while I thought that I was not going to have a future because of that test, but what was meant for my bad turned out for my good.

I believe life after college was where I began my next journey of having to learn how to trust God. God was teaching me through the next season that despite where you go in life, you will be faced with trials and errors, but through those experiences, great things are brought about. After I got out of college, I felt lost, I felt like I had no purpose, no drive, just lost. I found my life after college that I was being faced with many obstacles that were unexpected. I guess once I had learn to trust God through one thing, he began taking me through tests that I was not expected to go through. I found myself being tested in my relationships, friendships, and battling with things within my family. The next thing that came as I was leaving out of college was the ending of a relationship with someone that I was currently dating at the time. I got hit bad with that breakup that was unexpected—I did not see that one coming because I felt like I had met my future; but because of the things that were going on between us, I guess the Father was trying to warn me that what I was desiring was not what he planned for my life. I was struggling with the breakup for a very long time, and it put me in a very low place that took many years for healing and forgiveness to take place. I felt like I was running from something. I told my cousin I felt like God was trying to call me or wanted something from me that I could not put my hands on. During that season of my life, I was a lost cause to everything. The weird part about being in that season was I had left my home church to join a ministry where God had taught me so much, and I guess that I was tapping into the understanding of the Father that God wanted to take my life to the next level because of what he was calling to me in my new place. I had not the slightest clue to exactly what my calling was at the time. God was trying to show me that what I was attaching to was not a part of his plan. I ran for a little while until I was connected to a church that I joined a little while before I completed college. There I began to understand the will of the Lord in different ways because the way that they worship was beyond what I was used to, but all I know was I was very drawn to all that this church had to offer. I believe God had to deal with me in that way because I couldn’t respond to the way God wanted me to respond in the moment that he was calling me. However, that season, I was going through a lot with the guy and dealing with family issues. I just felt so lost. Maybe God’s way of me being lost was for me to be found in him. I believe once I joined the church, I was able to experience God in a way that I could not explain, but all I know was I was experiencing the Father. I believe my first encounter of learning how to trust the voice of the Lord was when I was in college, and I heard the Lord tell me to get out the bed and wake my roommate up so that I could pray with her. For some odd reason, with the way that I heard him speak to me, I felt confident that this was his voice telling me to do just that; but God was testing me early on for the encounter of how I was going to hear him. I believe after that night of praying with my roommate, I found myself on my knees praying and asking God things pertaining to my life. There during prayer, I felt something shift, but still no understanding. That season was difficult, but for some reason, I was moving in places that I never thought that I would move in, but I was still in the same place in the natural realm. I guess God was moving more spiritually so that what was taking place in the spiritual realm could eventually outpour to the natural things that I was enduring. My journey after college and that short season of having to learn to trust the Lord came with some trials, but toward the end of 2010, I found every bit of what I was asking the Father to begin taking place. My yearning and thirsting for the Father was beginning to increase more, and I was beginning to be drawn to more Word, and I found myself getting hit with a lot of things that were unexpected. When I tell you that I went through things with my family and that hard breakup, it almost took my life because I was homeless spiritually, not having a clue to what was going to be for my life. God had to send someone to tell me that I was not going to end my life because of the issues that were going on. The thing that I was always taught was that God won’t put any more than what you can bear. I got the message that this too shall pass. I was given the understanding that what I was experiencing was all part of God’s plan for my life. I was understanding that what I thought was going to break me was only making me. I said I arrived toward the end of 2010 before I could officially be released and let go.

I was let go of my job for the craziest thing. During the hour of being called off my job, I never knew that before you enter into a new place with the Lord, there has to be some shaking up to declare that things are done in that season. Well, I guess that had to take place. I had to encounter an argument with my father, encounter a text message from the guy that I was dealing with, encounter issues on the job that caused me to be fired from before I could transition in all that I was seeking the Father in. During my time away from work, not knowing what was going to take place, the Lord began dealing with me in my quiet time in terms of what needed to take place and how I needed to go about the situation. I went to a funeral with a friend where the pastor began talking about Job 13:15, Thou you slave me, still yet you trust me in appointed time that you will see change. When the pastor spoke those words, it did something to my spirit because it allowed me to see that all I was going through was not going to be in vain but it was all for my making. I believe I took that scripture with me. That scripture did something to me that day and night as I was tossing in my rest about what God said to me, but understand, I still was not quite yet in that realm of trusting the Father, but God had to teach me how to process through having that must-need confidence in leading my life. After going through that major breakup with my college boyfriend, enduring the fact that I was not going to have a job, and having to come back home to deal with my father and his issues, as I was going to the unemployment office, there I felt the move of God. As soon as I began processing and putting my information in the computer to apply for unemployment, my phone rang. I received a call for a job that I interviewed with two months prior to ask me when I was going to be starting my new position. From reflecting back to what the pastor said days prior about how God causes us to go through things that he still wants to know whether or not that we will trust him enough to change things around in his timing, and for three days of hearing that, I believe the Lord allowed me to process those words not knowing that the words I was hearing were actually in the Bible, because in the midst of that week of losing my job and encountering an argument with my father, I found myself moving physically—in less than a week, I was moving into my own apartment. I had to trust the way that I was praying that season because, man, whatever I wanted to do, God showed me that he had another plan if only I had trust in his will. At that time, I had no choice but to trust his will.

I laughed at how God was dealing with me during those three months of 2010. Because one day while I was traveling from class one evening, the Lord dropped in my spirit to stop by the furniture store. I began looking around and gazing at things not knowing that the Lord was getting ready to show up in the midst of it all. I looked around for a while, and finally I said to myself, I want this and I want that; and for some odd reason, something dropped in my spirit and said, Layaway. I asked the clerk, How long can you keep something on layaway? And he told me the time frame. I found myself putting everything that I said that I wanted on layaway. God showed that this was him leading me to do this; when I was looking at a living room set, not sure which one I wanted, he told me to get the mint-green set. Although I chose the complete opposite, the whole experience that season was I had to learn how to trust the Lord despite my circumstances. God was showing me a lot of things to learn that season. Although I could not make out why I was being hit with so many things, he was preparing me to receive him in all that he planned for my life. God told me the reasons for the chaos in my life: one, get my attention; two, he had to see if I was willing to let go of whom and what I had in my life; and three, I had to learn to trust him altogether with everything pertaining to my life. God led me to that church that season of my life because it was preparing me to take my exodus experience to where I needed to be for that season. God told me that when I thought that I was dying, he was just making me regain my strength to move forward in the next place. God told me that season, You have to die in order to reign with me. God was showing me whether I had the willingness to die of things naturally to be risen to move spiritually. God told me that he had a husband for me but that I had to trust him. God was showing me to the young lady that he sent to me at my job that season. He was just there to watch over me and prepare for me my journey. God said it was something that I had to get from her in order for me to receive all that was purposed for that season. I had to experience her bishop that season to get the laying of hands to rebirth all that was dying in me back to life. God said that when I thought what I was experiencing was strange, they were not strange, I was just experiencing the supernatural. God said that he had to align people along my path to help me make up my mind where I want to go and whether I was ready to serve his will as he desired. God told me he had to teach me how to trust his voice that season. God said there was purpose behind the laying of the hands and the outpour of the oil because there had to be awakening in my spirit that had to open me up to hear. God was telling every bit what was being spoken to my spirit; it was him telling me that there was going to be a separation of things taking place in my life. I had to trust his way and his will no matter how hard it got for me. God was telling me to understand that no matter what place and storms that I had to face throughout that season, he was going to be with me and for me, but I had to trust that I was going to make it out. God showed me that if he had not stepped in when he did, I was going to die that season. God said if he had not moved those out the way, I would have not made it to the beginning of what was now my now place. God told me that season it was time for me to acknowledge who I was called to be for the kingdom. Learning how to trust the Lord is not hard, but it’s hard work, because often just saying that you trust isn’t enough; you have to put footwork behind, truly trusting the Lord.

Even though I encountered other things throughout my walk, the biggest of them all was learning how to trust God when I was in a committed adultery relationship. This was the real reason I chose to walk wholly and holy in the Lord, like I do now, because that season of my life, I was not getting it. God had to teach me a lesson and a blessing at the same time. When I encountered this individual, it was in the beginning when God had given me my new start, and that boy was not in the right season for that. All the more that season, God had given me a fair warning that this was not the one for me and this was not what he planned for my life. God told me that season that I needed to do in the best interest of my soul and my life that I was to let this individual go because if I had not obeyed that, he was going to move me. That was one of the scariest things that I could ever experience with the Father, but because my head was so hard, the Lord had to really shake me up when he revealed to both my spiritual parents what I was doing; and when they called me giving me the Word of the Lord, I knew then I had better get myself together because this was nothing to play with and my life was on the line. God told my spiritual father to give me a call and ask me, Was what I was doing the night prior was worth losing my soul over? My spiritual mother spoke to me that God showed her in a dream what I was doing. I was so broken down with not knowing what I was going to do, but after my spiritual parents, I believe I learned my lesson received my blessing, which was my deliverance. God had spoken to me right before they called me, saying, Why can’t you accept who you are in me, and what I have for you is beyond your measure. What you are looking at is not what I have in mind for your life. God was telling me at the time that my husband was beyond what was a wasted moment in my life right then and there. God was teaching me that I had to learn not to settle and trust what he could provide for my life. This experience woke me up, and I began to do right afterward. I had to trust the way that God was going to lead me because when I prayed, I told the Lord I didn’t know how to escape what I was doing, and he heard my cry, and he sent someone to rescue me. I had to trust in the Lord that the generational curse would have been broken off