In Full View of God: There Are No Secrets

By Terri Nuss

Growing up in the Midwest in the tumultuous 60s and 70s, the author witnessed a foundational shift in American love and sex. While traditional families showed us daily trials with characters on black and white TV sitcoms, the country swirled with the confusion of rapidly changing social norms. Relationships became more experimental, and even those rooted in love for God were caught up in trying to make this new life fit with what God defines for us in the Bible.

For more than twenty years she hid her own life of substance abuse, promiscuity, and same-sex relationships from family, friends, and colleagues. She married, watched her marriage disintegrate, and then despaired. As she finally found her relationship with God, she found both the joy and the peace she had been seeking. In this quest to share love as God intends and to know family as he designed, she transparently offers her story so others struggling with similar life decisions may find their way.

For a mans ways are in full view of the Lord - He examines all his paths. (Proverbs 5:21)

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Apr 22, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490832005

Terri Nuss

Terri lives in the Dallas area with her husband Larry and a blended family of children and grandchildren. She shares her story to give others trapped in sexual sin a hope and a beacon to life.

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Copyright © 2014 In Full View, L.L.C.

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ISBN: 978-1-4908-3199-2 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3198-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-3200-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014905990

WestBow Press rev. date: 4/21/14

Dedication

This book is dedicated to God. His love, as described in 1 Corinthians 13, is patient, kind, does not find fault, and hardly notices when others do it wrong. God is love. He does not hold grudges; He believes the best in me. He is ever-present, always waiting for you and me to find our way to Him. And with His Son Jesus, all that I do to fall short He gives me back with grace and peace.

I pray this book helps you find your way to Him. For a man’s ways are in full view of the LORD; He examines all his paths (Proverbs 5:21). Life Application Study Bible, New International Version, 1995 Tyndale and Zondervan.

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Prologue

Chapter 1: The Gift of Love — Great Start

Chapter 2: What I Did with This Gift of Love—Learned as Much as Possible about All the Wrong Stuff

Chapter 3: Knowing Right and Doing It Are Two Different Things—Duh

Chapter 4: I Finally Get It, I Think—Or What Satan Tries to Steal Once You Get It

Chapter 5: Satan, in for the Kill—We Go Down in Flames

Chapter 6: Jesus Takes the Wheel, and I Finally Let Go

Chapter 7: Trust and Transparency—How to Trump Relentless Evil

Chapter 8: Grab His Gift—It’s Free for Everyone

Chapter 9: There’s No Time Left for Changing Your Ways—Run to Jesus!

Chapter 10: Why Do I Need to Be Saved? God’s Original Plan, Our Original Sin

Preface

This story of one small life is intended for people who are living a lifestyle they know is wrong—for those who feel they might be committing big sins and don’t have peace about their lives but don’t know how to change or escape. The stakes feel too high. The price costs too much. The pain will be too much to bear. The exposure will be too damaging. The desires will never go away and will ache, gnaw, and leave an empty void. I know those feelings.

You know that there is a God, and you know that some people find their faith and hope in Him. But you don’t feel like you can seek Him. You don’t go to church; you can’t really even talk to people about Him, because the life you are leading you instinctively know would not be approved by Him. Or maybe you don’t know if what you are doing is right or wrong, but others have told you this, so you don’t seek God, because you are afraid of what you might learn or be asked to change. You are uneasy and afraid they might be right. And although you are desperate for His peace and true love, He feels unapproachable for the questions and baggage you bring.

The road to God is narrow and tightens your heart and chest; the throne feels too high to climb to see His loving face. And you don’t know how to make the changes you need to in order to be worthy of Him. So you avoid conversations about Him. You dodge invitations from friends to events that might discuss or include Him. You turn off music that sings of Him. You turn away from people who know and love Him. You may quietly or secretly even read books, seeking peace, but only find judgment and fear. Nothing makes you feel better, and nothing fills the emptiness. And the Bible is blurry and confusing to you if you have found the courage to open it.

So you stew, but it’s a black-and-white photo stream of a bad dream where your legs are heavy. You are trying to run, and you can’t quite gain enough speed. You can’t tell if you are running from something or to something, but the fear of missing it is a steady hum in your consciousness. You know in your sleep and when awake that there is something more, but you can’t find the way.

It’s why I’m typing away in an airport while awaiting a flight—to share my own journey, so that maybe you will find the hope and encouragement to seek the freedom I finally found. God has asked me to open my heart and my past, and I am being obedient—reluctantly. I’m barely able to see the document I’m typing, because I have the image shrunk down so no one else can look over my shoulder to see my words. Because what if someone reads this before I have finally wrestled to the ground my willingness to be exposed for my sins, even though I know they have been forgiven by God?

I have found the freedom personally but privately. I have a new understanding of God’s expectations, and I have created a new life, but now I am hoping that by intentionally exposing this and sharing it publicly, you will find your way to this same peace—to God, to Jesus, to eternity and wholeness—so you can better understand the salvation that is offered to all and the way in which God can change our hearts and lives after we are saved if we choose to let Him. No matter. If you want to know salvation and true contentedness and peace, read on. If you want to know what God expects of us once we are saved by His gift, read on. If you are afraid, read on. If you are unsure, read on. And if you are just curious, be forewarned—the Holy Spirit is inspiring me to tell this story. And it is God’s deepest desire to draw you to Him through this Holy Spirit. I am merely a messenger.

Acknowledgments

I want to thank my parents, who gave me the best start in life a kid can ask for. They gave me their love, and they taught me about Jesus. Because of this, I was able to receive the Holy Spirit. With such a combination, I was fully equipped for the life I was to lead. Thank you, Dad and Mom, for your unconditional, timeless love.

I want to thank the Holy Spirit for His inspiration and motivation to this work. It is His soft but clear voice that compels me to obedience day after day. Thank you, God, for the gift of this holy intercessor and interpreter. Help me to be true to you in all things. Thank you for gifting and loving me as you have your Son, Jesus.

I want to thank my husband for accepting me as I am and loving me in spite of my flaws. He is a clear voice of truth and accountability—sometimes when I least desire or expect it. His boldness and authenticity in his testimony and the trueness of his love inspire me to do my best for Jesus. And his leadership and love give me courage to share this with you.

I want to thank my brothers and sisters in ministry—Larry, Shelly, Mark, Stephanie, Alex, and Veronica—who have inspired me with their examples of life in the mission field to dare to lead, be bold, and be transparent. They have modeled God’s purpose for our lives, the power of our words, the necessity for obedience and discipleship, and the importance of family and love. My cup runneth over to have them leading the way, discipling and harvesting for Christ. I love you all so much.

Finally, I want to apologize to anyone whom I have hurt in the past or who might be wounded by the sharing of this life story. I