Broken Pieces

By Mike Giovanni Resnik

I wonder why my life is the way it is. I am always falling backwards into the things that bind me. I have tried to escape, to free myself from this dungeon of despair, but to no avail. Where do I go from here, and what steps must I take to be free? I now realize that as much as it is not up to me alone, I still have a part to play in my deliverance.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 9, 2014
• ISBN: 9781490849713

Mike Giovanni Resnik

I have lived the life of one searching for truth. There is nothing more disturbing than to think you have no purpose in this life. I would ask questions such as: Why am I here? What purpose do I serve? And even though these may be common questions for many, to the individuals who ask these questions, the pain is no less convincing. I have lived the life of one who has held on to issues that in the end were only destroying me. But was I able to see that, no, I was being deceived by the enemy’s common tricks on people. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life. All three I have walked in, in some fashion or another. But thank God, I am free today. I live in Washington State with my beautiful wife and daughter. I served four and half years in the US military and loved it, for the most part. I still support family and friends in Jamaica who are in need of financial help from time to time.

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Broken Pieces

Mike Giovanni Resnik

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Copyright © 2014 Michael Thomas.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-4908-4972-0 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-4970-6 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-4908-4971-3 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2014915423

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/27/2014

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Story : Saved By Grace

Chapter 1: The I in Me Biography

Chapter 2: Divine Appointment

Chapter 3: The Lobby Elevators

Chapter 4: The Office

Chapter 5: Not Chosen

Chapter 6: The Decision to Follow

Chapter 7: End of the Journey

Fragmentations

Suffering

Almost Alive

The Stranger

Silhouettes

Imprisoned

Strife

Mired

Insights

Poems

In Me

Questions

How Often?

I Look to You

Hunger

My Sweet Valentine

Placid Loneliness

Surrender

Anchored Hope

Pardoned

I Have Lost

The Ultimate Sacrifice

Wasted Years

God Is Always There

Teach Me

Knowing

Feeling Lost

Simple Truths

Conclusion

Trinity

Nothing I have done could have been achieved without the direct involvement and inspiration of the Holy Spirit. Led by Him, I have a greater understanding of God’s love for me through Jesus Christ, my Lord. Therefore I dedicate this book to the Holy Spirit, our comforter and helper in all things; to Jesus Christ, the Anointed One, who through His selfless sacrifice bridged the great gulf between His Father and us, and to the Father, who loved us so much that He was willing to send His Son to redeem us from the curse and shame of sin.

Preface

This book, written in the first person, tells of a life plagued by self-absorption and is intended especially for those who have led such a life without knowing where to turn. The short story, Saved by Grace, recounts a person’s struggles with suicide, depression, and low self-esteem, demons that are hard to shake when you fall under their spell. This theme permeates the book.

The second portion of the book, Fragmentations, consists of tales that can be applied to life. The third segment, Insights, offers important messages. The Poems in the book’s fourth section speak to the broad human experience and to the many people searching for answers to life’s key questions. The Simple Truths making up the last portion of the book address life’s important challenges and obstacles. I hope that in reading Broken Pieces you will come away with a greater understanding of God’s love for you.

Acknowledgments

I have written this book to give others a different way of looking at life’s challenges. After many years and many trials, I am beginning to appreciate all that God has done and look forward to all that He has in store for me. I have a great love and appreciation for my wife, Sharon Thomas, who has traveled with me on roads that were often paved with hardship. She has helped me believe that nothing is impossible with God.

My adopted church mother, Netheline Bennett, was the voice of reason and offered wise counsel in many decisions, putting me on a steady course. I learned from her and from my parents, Elva and Charles Thomas, about the importance of praying without ceasing. I also acknowledge my new church mother, Patricia Holt, and her husband, Bertram Holt, for their insight and advice in making this book a reality and for speaking into my life a new word of God.

Introduction

The more I look at the world the more I see that for many of us life is nothing more than an array of fleeting desires. If they become all we live for, we will find only confusion and strife. This is especially so when our hearts are not set upon the things of God. The world fosters its own ideas of success and what it is supposed to look like. For the most part, its achievements come only in fulfilling the works of the flesh.

The Lord says that wherever our treasure is, there we will find our hearts. The imprudence of this world can be summed up in one word: pride. The world tells us that if we do well we will be successful in this life. But if we don’t play by the world’s rules, we are bound to fail.

The limitations of this world only increase my desire to walk away from the things of God rather than pursue them. I am bound by a standard that measures my success by my performance and rewards me accordingly. But God uses no such standard. He focuses on the things of the Spirit, freeing us to live victorious lives in Christ Jesus.

But how many of us understand this enormous gift that was given to us by God through the sacrifice of His Son? We find ourselves caught up in useless debates about religion while denying the power of God. We often confess the Lord with our lips but fail to believe in our hearts, nullifying our testimony to others.

The gospel of Christ, which leads us to salvation, is simple for the willing heart and mind. Even a child can understand the call to faith. But the gospel is foolish to the wise and the proud of heart. They cannot see the truth because they would rather follow the lie and whatever appeals to the flesh.

God is the same yesterday, today, and forever. His presence in our lives grows as we surrender to His lordship. Many people think that we are slaves to a God who demands our love. But the opposite is true. We are not obligated or forced to follow Christ. Through the love of God we are free, and this love requires us to build a relationship with the Most High. There is no good thing that God wishes to withhold from us, and the sooner we understand this the sooner our lives can be transformed to walk in victory rather than in defeat. As you read this book, open your heart to the things of God. Any questions about your walk with Him will be answered when you see how kind and loving He is.

If you have never had a relationship with Christ and think the experience is a waste of time, especially in this enlightened era; think again. Your walk with God is a personal one. You may come to Him just as you are with all your faults and failures. He will never ask you to work for His love or acceptance. You are beautiful in God’s sight, and His love for you transcends time.

God loves you more than you can ever imagine, and nothing in this world can change that. Greater things are yet to come for the body of Christ. As we move closer to the end of this age, a last great outpouring of the Holy Spirit upon all flesh will allow the body of Christ to move in power and might on a global scale.

Prepare to see miracles that you have never seen as God makes His final love call with mighty signs and wonders to win the hearts of those who have questioned the validity of the gospel. I believe that we are on the threshold of something new, and I look forward to being a part of this mighty move by God.

Chapter 1

Story : Saved By Grace

The I in Me Biography

I turn my face to watch the gray light slowly penetrate this dark room, and I am held in its simple yet powerful grip. As I sit in the blackness, I gaze deeper into the void of my life, looking for this same light to illuminate the empty space within me. I search and I reason with myself, but to no avail. Frustrated, I retreat to the corners of my soul, where there is only silence. I feel safe here. The familiarity of my pain is more trustworthy than anything else around me. I have no more strength to explore the circumstances that brought me to this place, but even so my soul yearns to be free.

I see myself looking up from a morbid abyss, staring through eyes glazed over with worry, my will and my desire to continue to hope dwindling. I am confused and frightened about the future and what it holds for me, and I find comfort in this miserable state.

I am constantly crying out to be rescued from this dark well of despair, but my cries are becoming faint. The world moves on, too busy or unwilling to hear as I plead for mercy. If I thought for one moment that my intelligence could release me from this pain, then I would be deceiving myself. I have found that I am powerless to stop it. I know that it is only a matter of time before I reap the bitter fruit of the seeds that were planted in me. So I continue to indulge in the things that trap me on a daily basis, not knowing whether I am coming or going in the dark recesses of my mind.

My life feels like pieces of broken glass. Some pieces are so small that to look at them with the natural eye would be futile. But still I look. For years I gathered up whatever fragments I could find and tried to reassemble them, but the repairs would be undone at every moment of despair. When those moments of frustration come, my desire to surrender to the voices I hear becomes even stronger.

I realize this world