A Heart in the Dark

By Mad Dog

Dedicated to my parents, who have always been so supportive, and to my friends Becca, Autumn, A-Game, Danielle, Dave, and Lucy, who took time to read my works. And, Bob, without your help, I wouldnt have been able to start this book.

Its a book. What more can I say? I hope you enjoy it.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 15, 2016
• ISBN: 9781524523640

Book preview

Copyright © 2016 by Mad Dog.

ISBN:      Softcover      978-1-5245-2365-7

                eBook           978-1-5245-2364-0

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 07/13/2016

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

745806

Contents

My confession

She

A Walk Into Insanity.

Tonight.

The Train for Hell.

My Confession 2.

We.

The night

I live.

A decision

Who.

The Monster

Wait.

Departed

Never Known Heaven

Do you?

I’m the ghost.

Sue.

The way of the world.

Empty.

The Black Death

Valentine’s Day

At the end of the day

My Happy place

I do.

Scared

She(2).

The End.

The Insanity.

Am I wrong?

She is a queen.

I can’t

Playing with my heart.

Just an escape.

How do you know?

From afar.

My strength.

Why love?

Disease

Liar.

What you do to me.

This isn’t a regret.

How?

Who is wrong?

You can’t force it.

When I come home.

By being alone.

This is my assault.

Endured

A broken fool.

I still love her.

Muse.

Trash

Just another night.

They’re gone.

She did it.

Mystery Girl.

Why?

The Wall

Rut.

My queen.

Is it her?

Am I built for this?

What’s it like.

My Mind.

Helpless.

Poetry.

It’s like a vow.

Love’s Guns.

Just for you.

If you were mine.

Her smile.

Tell me When?

You.

Our own Hell.

What I would give.

My Mask.

She pulls me back

She pulls me back 2.

Alone

Hold my peace.

Another piece of the wall.

The invisible man.

The Flower.

Love Loss

All these love poems and no one to give them to.

Dedicated to my parents who were so supportive.

My friends Becca, Autumn, A-Game, Danielle, Dave, Lucy, who took time to read my works.

And Bob, without your help I wouldn’t have been able to start this book

My confession

I have a confession to make, it is not a confession to show I am guilty of some crime, no, it is to confess why I am how I am. So here I go. I don’t fear death, despite the popular belief of death is some despicable entity that comes and takes what it desires at the worst time, no, he comes and takes what he is required to, whether it stops the pain a certain soul feels, or it is forced to happen, death comes for all of us. Whether it be broad daylight, or by the cloak of night. He will come for us all. Though death I do not fear, I am not afraid of death, nor am I afraid of dying, do I wish to die? No. Then again, I don’t believe anyone who is mentally healthy wishes to die. Though my fear, the thing I fear the most, is losing. Not losing a sporting event or type of competition, no. I fear losing those I love, losing those I care for, and I fear, one day, they will lose me. I could not live with losing my loved ones. Despite the fact I know I will one day see them in a box or urn. I fear losing them. I fear losing those I care for, those I love, and those who love me back. I fear losing her. I am terrified by losing the people I love most. Just to one day come home after work, or to be in work, living life somewhat comfortably, to receive a phone call, and hear your sibling or parent, tell you that someone you know has died. And in that brief sentence, the world you know, that once seemed sunny, blackens, and dies like the sentence. Unable to really think you listen to the details of their demise, the horror of how they left, and in that moment, the world loses its’ color as you hang up the phone, or you just drop the phone, as if it did not exist anymore. You are now in some twilight zone, where you are quickly going through the stages of grief. Unable to really control yourself, you have a fit like a child, destroying everything in your path. And as you finish your tantrum you slip into a silent cry, as you fade into slumber, and the world fades into blackness. So I do not fear death, I fear the loss. I fear losing my sanity at the news of a loss. I confess…I am afraid of losing those I love.

She

I fell in love once. Remembering this, feels as if I have just cut open a healing scar with a power saw, though remembering it feels as if it was a pleasant dream, unfortunately that pleasant dream, ended with a depressing horrid nightmare. Though reminiscing about the time I spent with her, brings back memories even though they are the good, the bad, and the heartbreak. It feels as if it were an eternity ago, yet the memories feel so fresh, it is as if it had happened this morning. She ran into me, and I was not afraid of her. She was shy, though in a cute way, I guess that was a reason I was so intrigued by her, her constant mysteriousness. She drove me wild by just trying to figure her out, though once that scene had concluded, and she was no longer interested in playing games with me. I started to learn about her, likes, dislikes, birthday, things that annoyed her, things that made her smile, I remember a time I would have done anything to hear her laugh. Though sweet as that time was, things with her started to fade, she became cold and distant, would no longer speak to me and eventually no longer wished to see me. That was it, she had filled my heart, with what I thought was full steel, strengthening me with her love, filling it with joy, but just as she said her final good bye the truth came out, and what I thought was steel, was papier-mache, and she took a sledge hammer to my defenseless heart made of paper and paste. For days I was in some slump, for she was the only person I had let near my heart, and she tore it out with her bare hands through my ribs, threw it to the floor, kicked it around like a toy, and as I watched her do it, to add insult to injury. She spit on it, looked dead into my eyes as she spit and said I don’t love you. She left me, and my heart, broken, alone, and a mess. Though thinking back to this wretched experience I have to thank her. For though this trial unlikable and rather painful, I have to thank her. Knowing that she taught me a very valuable lesson, that lesson was this, I can pick myself up, even after someone did their worst to me. Am I afraid to love again? Not at all. She taught me that not every woman is right for you. Is there some part of my heart that she took with her? No, she took that piece, and smeared it into the ground, like how one puts out a cigarette with their foot. Am I in love? Possibly, a new mystery girl has peeked my interest, she drives me wild and she… There’s no real way to describe her in such a short time, let’s just say, she has my heart, but I don’t think she knows it…

A Walk Into Insanity.

I n honesty, it’s not that hard to lose your mind. To let your sane half drift away. To let the normality of the mind leave. It is truly not that hard to walk into insanity. Some people think the decent into insanity is some great leap, or fall. That the decent into madness is fast paced, and reckless. In some cases, yes, only for those who try to fight the walk. Though, for those who let the stroll into lunacy happen, it is actually pleasant. Like walking in the park on a warm spring day, you just stroll through and you realize you are at the destination. Where your insanity lies depends on two things, where you think your craziness lies, and how fast you are walking. When you reach your destination, you smack into the wall of the building. Looking at the moto on the top of the door you stare with interest at it. So good you’ll never leave… here’s your final chance to walk away from insanity. Once you enter, you don’t leave, because as you walk into the front door you enter some twisted funhouse maze where there is only an entrance. You enjoy the maze. Forever. Though if you try to fight the insanity, try to not