Miles in My Shoes

By Angelique Phoenix

Angelique Phoenix was destroyed, surrendered, and then was made anew. In Miles in My Shoes, she shares her story, telling how one can truly turn any breakdown in life into a breakthrough for a life with the Lord for true growth and healing.

Through her personal testimony and scripture, she communicates the message that the most important thing is love. So many have strayed away from its true meaning as defined in the Bible.

Each chapter includes selections from Phoenix’s music playlist; she communicates it’s important to choose music that uplifts you while you’re going through a hard time. Your eyes and ears are windows to your spirit. Feed them wisely whenever possible.

Walking a few miles in her shoes, this narrative shares how Phoenix is saved and is alive and living for the first time through Jesus.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Aug 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9781664270961

Angelique Phoenix

Angelique Phoenix was inspired by the Holy Spirit to tell her story. She is praying to help encourage each person with true empathy of different situations, having experienced many life trials herself.

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Copyright © 2022 Angelique Phoenix.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations taken from The Holy Bible, New International

Version® NIV® Copyright © 1973 1978 1984 2011 by Biblica, Inc.

TM. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.

ISBN: 978-1-6642-7097-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-7098-5 (hc)

ISBN: 978-1-6642-7096-1 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022912300

WestBow Press rev. date: 08/05/2022

CONTENTS

Prologue

Chapter 1 Love (My Laces Are Tied)

Chapter 2 Mile #1

Chapter 3 Mile #2

Chapter 4 Mile #3

Chapter 5 Mile #4

Chapter 6 Mile #5

Chapter 7 Mile #6

Chapter 8 Mile #7

Chapter 9 Mile #8

Chapter 10 Mile #9 (Tie Your Laces)

PROLOGUE

God is love, and Jesus is the only way. Through Christ, all things are possible. These are just some of the things we hear as children, before we really understand the concept of life at all and feel the need to believe in these words with all of our heart. So many people today, as did I, need to be reminded in a way that resonates with their souls. It is a reminder that can connect to their own personal lives to truly understand and believe in these words again. For me, listening to or reading stories from people who have been through the same trials in life makes it easier to accept advice and guidance from because you know they have actually walked a mile in your shoes. You can feel the connection to them through their story or song. I pray that reading my story will help remind you that you are not alone and that you are loved by the creator of all creation. Surrendering, if you haven’t yet, and strengthening your relationship with the Lord will allow the Holy Spirit to work through you, to get you where you want to be in life.

I continuously thank God throughout my trials and tribulations because even though some choices I made were wrong in my mind after reflecting on them, they became lessons for me to break unhealthy cycles. God had a plan the entire time. God knows all hearts and knows all situations beyond our comprehension, so he knows my faith even when it was questionable through my actions. A mustard seed of faith is like your pinhole of light to chase away any vast amount of darkness. What you seek, you will find. Jesus Christ is the light. Seeking God in my darkest moment led me to an ultimate choice between love and fear. All things that come from God are love. All things that come from the enemy of our soul are fear. The moment I chose love, I was choosing to fully follow God. Then he would change the way I felt, thought, and even walked. I didn’t have to run in circles through the dark, searching in the wrong direction anymore. He is the light to take me on the roads that I’ve been searching for, the roads that lead to my choice of love, instead of fear. God is love, and Jesus is the only way. It’s all about your heart. At this very moment, breathe and take a minute to feel God’s love.

I am not a teacher or a preacher, but I am being taught on a daily basis through God’s love, and I love speaking about Jesus. Because only through Jesus are we saved. I have to say it again: only through Jesus are we saved. I am here to help remind you that God is real, Jesus is alive, and the Holy Spirit is important. God is with us every second of every day. We are not forgotten. When we repent and turn away from our sins, we are forgiven. Forgive others and forgive yourself, as God forgives you. The mercy and grace you give others will be given back to you by the Lord. You truly do reap what you sow in life. Sow the good seeds of the Lord’s Word in your life garden, to enjoy the good fruits of the Spirit from the inside out. If something is heavy on your heart, let it go and give it to God. Pray about everything, every day. Build and sustain a relationship that will never fail—a relationship with God. Knowing him with your heart is him knowing you. You are the best version of yourself through the Holy Spirit.

If you are hurting or searching for any kind of inspiration or encouragement to help you, this might be the story for you. The ones going through addiction of any kind, including the family members of an addict that you love. The ones grieving from loss (in any way) of someone they love. The ones who stay in relationships of any kind where it feels like the entire relationship is death to your soul, but you stay because that’s what you think love is. The ones who finally found the strength to leave a toxic situation but now are lost with fear as strong as vise grips telling you that you will fail. The ones looking for a way with their willing partner to build a strong family foundation with God but don’t know how to begin, or simply the ones that enjoy a good read. At one point in time, I have been all of those things.

Here in this book are a few miles in my shoes leading to the writing of my testimony. This book, my heart, and any glory that comes from it is dedicated to Jesus Christ. Because of his sacrifice, I am saved. I am alive and living for the first time through him. With faith in Jesus, you too are simply by choosing to follow him. Even if you can’t see or feel it yet, have faith. Your faith in him will save you from yourself and any situation from which you may need saved.

For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe in him. But also to suffer for him. (Philippians 1:29)

The phrase you have to get through it to get to it has new meaning to me now. After suffering and forgiving others as I have been forgiven, I thank God for creating me and life itself. The chains that were holding me down have been broken. I came to realize that I created those chains. I thank Jesus for saving me from myself. I thank the Holy Spirit for being with me. I thank everyone who loves me and has given me support in any way. I thank all the lessons throughout every mile of my life. My heart is now new. Thank you. If anything I went through can help anyone who reads this in any way, writing it for you was worth it to me. I look at the first five miles in this book as scenic routes full of lessons that brought me closer to the Lord and the love I was always searching for. There is no greater love than the love of the Lord. Learning to love through his love is the only way to truly love at all. When you guard your heart, guard it with the armor of God.

Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. (James 1:2–4)

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it. (Proverbs 4:23)

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1

LOVE

(MY LACES ARE TIED)

H ave people ever told you to stay in a relationship that continuously hurts, because getting through it makes your relationship stronger? Have you been told that insane love is true love? I feel that staying in any relationship (intimate or not) despite constant emotional or physical abuse is not the way to feel true love. Thinking this way leads you to believe that love hurts. Real love does not hurt. We hurt each other not out of love but out of fear. Some of us know that love is explained in the Holy Bible. Anything outside that definition is not love. It took me thirty-two years to finally start learning that. Following others’ definitions of love put me through all kinds of chaotic situations, unknowingly breaking myself down enough that the only help for me was God’s love, because God is love.

While growing up, I always heard that actions speak louder than words. Words seem to come and go unless they are so moving that I have no choice but to feel them settle deep in my heart to take action. I seem to learn a lot more through actions than words. While growing up, I saw my mother, Chloe, stay in a relationship that had the illusion of love—until death, when they parted. She was trying to learn love through God and was able to give it freely, but my dad, Loyal, couldn’t receive it in a way to fully reciprocate the action it took to prove its meaning. When all is said and done, people who do not have a constant relationship with God will love you only with their own definitions of love. Before I moved out of my parents’ house at seventeen, I created my own illusion of a loving life in my mind. In an attempt to break a repeated family cycle of broken hearts, I tried to change what I thought needed to be changed—but not through God. My way eventually broke me down too, straight to my knees. Without God, I tried to build a few homes on the wrong foundation, and they fell apart. The foundation crumbled. Only with God can the foundation of your life be unbreakable.

I died inside many times trying to feel true love in a lot of wrong places. I realized that everyone around me, was just as lost as I was. These people can’t show you how to walk the walk with God when they themselves are lost. It’s like the blind leading the blind: they are unable to teach you the correct action when they themselves have not been shown correctly. How can they teach you about love when they haven’t been shown the love defined in the Holy Bible? Being shown an incorrect example of love can lead you to continue the incorrect pattern in your own life and with each generation to come, unless you correct it. I encourage everyone to learn about love and teach through action its true definition from the Holy Bible.

Have you ever felt out of place in your own life? Ever since I was a little girl, I felt out of place, as if something was missing. I would daydream about a love I didn’t yet understand. As a teenager, I would long for it greatly, and I created a lot of dark and unhealthy situations to try to find it. Sometimes we create a lot of darkness out of loneliness without knowing it, distancing ourselves from God’s light and love. With him, we are never alone, yet we search for someone or something to fill the void of loneliness. As humans, we make life so hard, accumulating meaningless knowledge as we search for true wisdom. True wisdom is only found in the Lord. Whenever we try to gain the world in whatever way we think we need to without God, we unknowingly lose what matters the most: God’s love. This is confirmed in Mark 8:36, which states: What good is it for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul?

We are all a part of God’s creation. We are created to live for the Lord and to love, and we are created out of pure love. Going against the truth of the Word of God is like running through a minefield of rabbit holes: you will fall no matter which way you run. If your foundation already has holes in it, you’re not able to build a stable life on it. Fill your foundation with the Lord for true stability in life. Loving, as defined in the Holy Bible, is living as God intended. I don’t fully understand why it’s so hard to accept such a beautiful and simple law. To love is to live by the greatest commandment in the law.

Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law? Jesus replied, Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: Love your neighbor as yourself. All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments. (Matthew 22:36–39)

With the lack of true love as defined in the Holy Bible, hearts around us have become so fragile from all the breaks and cracks that even the slightest weight of a feather or one more harsh word could make them shatter and cause people to lose themselves. Some hearts have become dark and hardened from the lack of love; the walls people have built for protection are so thick that only God can break them down. We don’t even know whom to trust anymore. Therefore, we trust few or no one at all but pretend that we do.

I’ve seen so many people unsatisfied in their own lives praying for the downfall of others. Those unhappy people want to keep you somewhere that benefits them in whatever way. You can’t fathom climbing any mountains with the weight of everyone’s expectations because it gets too heavy to carry, causing you to lose balance and tumble down that mountain each time you attempt to climb it. Speaking from experience, I know that if you add grief, depression, anxiety, and unhealthy coping mechanisms that lead to addiction, it makes a perfect cocktail for a huge breakdown mentally, physically, and spiritually. Only through God can your breakdown become your breakthrough. The words from Jesus are very clear in the Holy Bible.

My mom came over one day a few years ago after listening to a pastor on TV who made a great point. He asked, Who reads their car manual when they purchase a car? Very few do. That honestly says a lot about someone. I know I have only opened that manual if something goes wrong with my car, or if someone else can’t figure it out for me. He said, The Holy Bible in life works very much the same as having a manual to get the maximum use out of all the car’s features. The Holy Bible is the manual for life. My mind was blown after hearing this. It’s true! After finally reading the New International Version of the Holy Bible, I began to learn this lesson. The verses from Ephesians 4:17–6:9 are labeled as Instructions for Christian Living and Instructions for Christian Households. I’m pretty sure the close relatives I grew up with missed these lessons—as did I until recently. I pray that everyone cares enough to apply them to their own daily lives. Sometimes you will need to be the example you learn from best; actions always speak louder than words. You can’t just talk about it—you must actually be about it.

My mom has always been a very religious and spiritual person. She has been, in a sense, a pinhole of light in not only my life but also the lives of those who come into contact with her. The only issue was her inability to sustain healthy boundaries and walk away or say no when enough was truly enough. A healthy boundary is a wall made out of love for oneself. Enabling these people became her way to try to save them. She didn’t understand the lesson she is learning now, which is that you truly cannot help anyone who doesn’t want to be saved. Enabling is not helping at all. Someone who doesn’t care to see an issue with their destructive actions cannot begin the change that is needed. Only God can truly save anyone. You can lead a horse to the water, but you cannot make it drink.

I think that’s why I fought with her so much about faith. It’s not that I was against faith or that her faith was not correct or real. It was simply harder for me to learn the way to walk with the Lord in my own personal journey while seeing her struggle so hard against all the family she loved. I knew in the pit of my stomach that they did not love her the correct way. Even