Forgiven Sinner: Chapter One

By Kenneth August Block

My life began innocent enough, but then I found trouble time and time again. Always making the wrong choices and never believing in what I couldn’t see. I was raised to believe that I was a worthless piece of crap and would never amount to anything. I always thought I was in control of my life so I tried to be the best piece of crap that I could be until God sent me children. Then I found my worth in taking care of others. I know now that I am not worthless and I will never be alone. I am precious to God and worth so much more than I ever knew. He sent His son to die for me so that I would be forgiven for everything I had ever done. I just had to accept it. There was no catch. I struggled for a long time to believe and trust in what I couldn’t see.

There is an unseen spiritual world all around us. We either make the choice to believe it or not. I have met a lot of people who say they believe in God and Jesus but very few of them actually read a Bible, or even owned one.

God and Jesus have been showing me how real they are ever since I tried to kill myself the first time. Since I gave my heart to Jesus, I have been receiving all kinds of blessings—spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical. Now each day is a struggle because of the truth that I learned in the Bible that I rarely heard in church. The answer to all of our problems begin with the heart and are healed with the word of God. Jesus is the Word.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Newman Springs Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Mar 30, 2020
• ISBN: 9781645317630

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Forgiven Sinner

Chapter One

Kenneth August Block

Copyright © 2019 Kenneth August Block

All rights reserved

First Edition

NEWMAN SPRINGS PUBLISHING

320 Broad Street

Red Bank, NJ 07701

First originally published by Newman Springs Publishing 2019

ISBN 978-1-64531-762-3 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64531-763-0 (Digital)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

To you

I am writing this book to help just one person who might believe the lies that they are alone and worthless. There is one that is always there. He is waiting for you, and you are worth the world to Him. If you listen carefully when the storms in life come your way and you feel hopeless, alone, and afraid, turn your heart toward Jesus, to the only one who will ever be there for you. Listen carefully and you might hear Him say, You are not alone, I AM with you always.

The Bible says all you need to do is call on His name and you will be saved (Rom. 10:13).

What and who I used to be:

I was abused.

I was unkind.

I was hurt.

I was angry

I was a drug addict.

I was an alcoholic.

I was sexually immoral.

I was abusive.

I was a liar.

I was guilty.

I was ashamed.

I was insecure.

I was worthless.

I was never enough.

I was an orphan.

I was a coward.

This list is never-ending.

What and who I am now:

I am forgiven(Ps 32:5).

I am loved (Jn. 3:16).

I am complete (Col. 2:10).

The good news:

God sent His Son to earth as a sacrifice for our sins. His name is Jesus.

God raised Jesus from the dead.

Jesus is coming back one day to redeem the believers.

How to accept the free gift of salvation:

Believe in the good news.

Repent, a change of mind that leads to a change of heart which leads to a change of actions.

Ask for forgiveness and accept it in Jesus’ name.

Thank God every morning and throughout the day.

How to live:

Turn away from sin and toward Jesus.

Thank God every morning.

Be kind and compassionate, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you and love the way God intended (Eph. 4:32).

Read the Bible.

Pray.

Spend alone time with God.

Get involved in a church and be patient.

You are joining a big family with a lot of broken people.

What to be prepared for:

Be prepared for opposition from the people around you.

Be prepared for trials that will test your faith.

Be prepared to be humbled.

Be prepared for your heart to be reshaped.

Be prepared for spiritual battles.

Every commandment can be summed up with love—love for God and love for everyone else. True godly love is a very difficult thing to learn.

It’s really that simple. We are saved by grace and mercy through faith. Once we understand that, we become obedient in our walk with Jesus. If we woke up today, then His mercy is still being poured over us. He gave us another day to surrender and be obedient. We can’t earn forgiveness. He wants submission—submission to His will to help us live a life more abundantly. We won’t know His will for our lives if we don’t pick up His word and listen to Him. We can all hear the voice of God if we spend time with Him.

I could never understand why God took me back time and time again after what He saw in my heart. I felt unwanted, unloved, and worthless. He showed me that I was worth so much. I still struggle with my worth because I listened to the lies for so long. He gave His only child as a sacrifice to show me His love and my worth (Jn. 3:16).

You don’t have to believe the things in this book. You may even condemn me for some things, but that’s okay because I know God searches and knows the hearts of men across the earth. He knows my heart (Jer. 17:10, 2 Chron. 16:9). I also know He is the only Judge (Jas. 4:12). When He saw my heart, He saw something in me that I didn’t—and I still don’t. I just want to see Him in my heart.

I always laugh about my bad memory but as I write this, He is pouring memories out of me that I have forgotten about, giving me specific details. It’s overwhelming to write at times and very painful, but then it becomes peaceful. God is healing my heart and reshaping it as I visit my past. After all the things I have done in life, He is still there and He still loves me.

I can’t run, I can’t hide. I cried out to Him so many times because of the pain I felt (Exod. 2:23, 1 Chron. 5:20, Ps. 34:6). He has done so much for me since He heard my cries for help. It’s hard for me to give up all of my heart, body, mind, and soul to Him (Prov. 23:26, Rom. 12:1, Prov. 3:5–6); deny myself; pick up my cross; and follow Jesus (Lk. 9:23–24). Even though He heard my cry for help, it’s still a very difficult thing for me to let go of everything and cast my cares on Him (1 Pet. 5:7, Ps. 55:22). I have been holding on to so much hurt and pain for so long, I feel like I am losing a big part of who I am. I am so used to being the one in control. It’s a hard thing to let go of so much that made me who I am. It’s hard to let go of pride, selfishness, and control. But looking back on my life, I see the things I hold on to is what wrecked my life each time (Prov. 8:13, 11:2, 29:23; Gal. 6:3; 1 Jn. 2:16; Ps. 10:4).

Every day I wake up and thank Him because He gave me another day to give Him full control and surrender (1 Thess. 5:18; Eph. 5:20; Ps. 100:4, 103:1–2, 136:26). It’s hard to break old habits when we refuse to give it to Him (Prov. 23:26). It’s a hard thing to hand over my heart. For me, I just want to go home in heaven, which is where the Bible says my home is (Heb. 13:14, Phil. 3:20, Eph. 2:19). I am only here for a short time. Sometimes I look at it like this, God is my heavenly Father. He sent me to camp here on earth at birth. The kids at camp are pretty cool, but everybody here is hurting. I could only start spending time with Him as I grew up a bit. He was always watching me. Jesus is my Brother and is getting my room ready (Jn. 14:2). When He’s done, He is going to come back and pick me up and take me home to my Father’s house (Jn. 14:1, 3; 1 Thess. 4:17; Acts 1:11, and Matt. 24:27). Every day I wake up at camp, He gives me opportunities to store up treasures in heaven for doing the right thing and working hard here (Col. 3:24, Matt. 19:21). I have always worked hard for others but never for God (Col. 3:23, Prov. 16:3, and 1 Cor. 10:31).

I never used to believe in any of this and seeing my fingers type it out, it still sounds crazy (2 Cor. 5:13). I have ears and I know the things I say. I have proof of the things I say. It’s all in the Bible. Something happened in my life. I am not who I once was, I am, literally, a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). Creation didn’t happen in an instant (Gen. 2:2). It takes time for anything to fully mature and produce fruit. It applies in the same way for everyone. Our goal is to produce spiritual fruits as we reach maturity (Col. 1:10, Eph. 4:13–15). I used to exalt myself and think I was someone special. He humbled me in so many ways and still does as He sees fit (Lk. 18:14, Prov. 30:32). The Bible talks about God disciplining the ones He loves, like a good father does (Heb. 12:6, Prov. 3:11–12). I know He loves me. I go through highs and lows now but He is always there, comforting me and never condemning me (Ps. 14:3; Matt. 5:4, 11:28; Rom. 15:4; 2 Cor. 1:3–4; Ps. 71:21; Isaiah 12:1, 49:13, 51:3, 51:12, 66:13; Jer. 31:13).

I have felt condemned my whole life. That was Satan that deceived me with condemnation (2 Cor. 11:3, Jn. 8:44, Gen. 3:13). Nobody runs toward hate, condemnation, and anger. We run from it. Everybody runs toward kindness, acceptance, and love. I now know the truth about my heart, but I still feel unworthy at times (Lk. 17:7–19). Who am I to receive anything from God, the Creator of everything? I am a speck of dust in the wind, a vapor (Jas. 4:14, Ps. 144:4, 1 Pet. 1:24, Ps. 102:11, Job 14:1). I felt like I was just being tossed around like a wave on the ocean in my past (Eph. 4:14, Jas. 1:6). Now I have been anchored to a mighty rock, Jesus Christ (Ps. 78:35; 2 Sam. 22:32; Ps. 18:31; 1 Sam. 2:2; Isa. 44:8; Ps. 144:1, 62:7, 31:1–3, 71:3, 94:22).

I have prayed for Him to break my heart for what breaks His, to let me see the world as He sees it, to love like He loves, and to be patient. I later found these things in John 13:34, 1 John 4:19–21, Philippians 2:3–4, 1 John 4:11, Matthew 5:43–48, Proverbs 10:12, 1 Corinthians 13:13, 1 Peter 4:8, John 15:12, Ephesians 4:2, 1 Corinthians 13:4, Proverbs 15:18, and Romans 12:12. Oh boy! He heard my prayers and life got increasingly tougher (1 Jn. 5:14, 5:15; Ps. 66:17–20; and Jn. 16:24). I asked Him to show me my heart and He did. It was ugly and hard to look at, but He is still there. He still loves me and cares for me. I am never alone (Deut. 31:6, Ps. 27:10, 1 Sam. 12:22, Matt. 28:20, Isa. 41:10). He is always around me and living through me. I found this in Proverbs 18:24; 2 Corinthians 13:5; Romans 8:10; Galatians 2:20, 4:19; Ephesians 3:17; and Colossians 1:27. At this point in my life, since I should be dead over and