The Movie in Amish Country: Fourth Season of Bed and Breakfast Fables

By Joseph "Chool" Crawshaw

This book originated from the many interactions with the persons who have graced our breakfast table over the years. All of the scenes actually occurred - some serious, some sad, some humorous, and some thought-provoking. Enjoy the read.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 29, 2019
• ISBN: 9781098000882

Book preview

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The Movie in Amish Country

Fourth Season of Bed and Breakfast Fables

Joseph Chool Crawshaw

Copyright © 2019 by Joseph Chool Crawshaw

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.

832 Park Avenue

Meadville, PA 16335

www.christianfaithpublishing.com

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

I Background Information

III. Author’s Final Remarks

I

Background Information

Introduction

The Movie in Amish Country is the fourth season of the Bed-and-Breakfast Fables. With my three previous books—Amish Scrambled Eggs with Humor, Amish Morning Coffee, and Amish Bed-and-Breakfast Television—I hope to have given you, the reader, some insights about not only the Amish culture but more importantly, a look into the lives of middle-class Americans. Yes, all the stories in these books really did happen.

So buy some popcorn, your favorite drink, and some Junior Mints, and proceed to theater number 3; it is the fifth theater on your right. Prepare yourself to cry, to laugh, to wonder, to question, and to think. I believe all four books in the Bed-and-Breakfast Fables are more than just entertainment. Hope you do too!

II

Movie Scenes

A. Educational

Tastes Like Chicken

Straw Bristle

Welcome to the Country

Something Never to Do Again

Weird Night Games

Bilingual Bovines

Getting Even

Your actions speak so loudly, I can’t hear a word you say.

Tastes Like Chicken

Scene: Chicken Coop at an Amish Farm

Characters: Lydia, Chool, Fifty chickens

Plot: Amish Wedding Meal

Amish young people can only get married on Tuesdays and Thursdays in the months of October, November, and December. All weddings are held at the home of the bride’s family.

A month prior to the special day, the bride’s family purchases fifty chickens to raise for the wedding meal. The chickens are fed—well-fed—to insure weight gain.

Three days before the ceremony, the chickens meet their fate. The harvested birds are then divided up between the bride’s church family and her own family. The meat then goes into a chicken/stuffing dish, which is the main course for the wedding meal. This is where Lydia blackmailed Chool in the process.

In an upcoming story/scene, Lydia, knowing about Chool’s speeding ticket, used this information to blackmail Chool into beheading one of the birds. I did not want my wife to know about the speeding ticket. However, despite strong, strong protests, I finally realized that Lydia was in control of the situation. The blackmail worked, and the deed was done with one swift chop. Disgusting!!

Please do not share this story with young children, vegans, vegetarians, PETA members, or pacifists.

Straw Bristle

Scene: Breakfast Table

Characters: Ten Guests, Chool

Plot: How to Choose a Ripe Watermelon

During the spring, summer, and fall, fresh fruit is in abundance here in Amish Country. Did you ever ask yourself how you know if watermelon, honeydew, or cantaloupe were actually ripe to eat? That question was posed to our guests one morning prior to serving our fruit cups. Answers included: smell it, shake it, squeeze it, use a straw bristle. Yes, you read that last method correctly.

A lady from outside of Baltimore told our guests that her grandmother from West Virginia said that she would put a straw bristle from a straw broom on a watermelon. If the watermelon was ripe, the bristle would rotate in a circle.

Well, guess what? We had just