Amish Bed and Breakfast Television: Third Season of Bed and Breakfast Fables

By Joseph "Chool" Crawshaw

This book originated from the many interactions we have had with the persons who have entered our doors. All the episodes in this book actually occurred""some serious, some sad, some funny, and some thought provoking. Combining these ingredients with a concern about the loss of middle-class values, this book bakes up a solution for television executives and others to consider. Place this bed and breakfast dish in an oven, set the heat up, and see what happens.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Christian Faith Publishing, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 29, 2018
• ISBN: 9781642995213

Book preview

Episode 1

Morning Coffee

It was six on a Saturday morning. Bill appeared in our kitchen, requesting a cup of coffee to take to his wife, Barb, who was in the bathroom taking a shower. He said, She only wants you to make it. You always put the right amount of sugar and cream in it. Now, Bill and Barb are some of our regular guests who have been coming here for about twenty years. The time was perfect for the perfect prank!

We both went back to the room, and sure enough, we could both hear the shower running. I went over to the bathroom door, knocked, and said, Barb, this is Joe with your coffee. I’ll just open the door and put it on the sink. Dead silence. Bill grabbed the coffee and opened the door. Talk about a scream!

Bill said that Barb was crouched down in the shower, covering all her body parts. I was lying on the bed and laughing hysterically. Then I looked and saw Barb, covered with a towel, coming toward me. She was madder than a hornet.

…They still come back, but I am no longer permitted to make Barb’s coffee. I wouldn’t have looked—or would I?

Episode 2

Puppies

There is an Amish couple, Sarah and Levi, across the road, who will do Amish dinners for our guests. A family of four from Connecticut wanted to schedule a dinner with them for an evening. They went with me to the Amish house to talk with Sarah and to pick a date for the dinner. In talking with her, Sarah shared with us that their golden retriever, Lindsey, had had puppies about seven weeks prior. Sarah said, Lindsey, show them your puppies.

Lindsey took off like a flash and headed to where the puppies were being kept in a horse stall. As I opened the stall door, all nine puppies came running out at once. What a scene! Our guests were on the floor of the barn, playing with the puppies as Lindsey, the proud mama, watched on. The playing flooded to the outside of the barn and into the yard.

After about an hour, it was time to go. In collecting the puppies to return them to the stall, we could find only eight of them. We searched and searched frantically for the missing puppy. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the missing puppy, sound asleep, on top of a cow that was lying in her stall. What a picture!

…My wife wouldn’t let me have one of the puppies. I cried.

Episode 3

Rainstorm

About three days after moving into Frogtown, a heavy rainstorm developed a little before midnight. I was just getting out of the shower at the time, and my wife asked me to go down to the kitchen and close the windows. I got out of the shower and headed down the stairs to the kitchen, buck naked, to close the windows.

As I entered the kitchen, I turned on all the lights so I could see, shut all the windows, turned off the lights and headed back up the stairs. Task completed, but there is more.

The next morning, we invited our Amish neighbors, David and Rachel, over to have breakfast with our guests. Rachel mentioned about the terrible rainstorm the night before, and I told her that I had to go down to close the windows in the kitchen. Rachel said, I know. I saw you!

…To this day, twenty years later, I cannot look Rachel in the face. I still remember that evening, and Rachel still laughs about it.

Episode 4

Schoolteacher

Many of our guests are anxious to learn about the Amish culture. They ask many questions. There is one question, however, which always comes up: "Do they pay local school taxes since