Your Child's Adolescence! You Survive, They Thrive!: It's All about Attitude, Choices, and Relationships

By Robert Harding M. Ed.

Your Child's Adolescence! You Survive, They Thrive! covers the physical, intellectual, social, and emotional changes that occur in adolescence. It will explain my Life Model, how your attitude affects your choices, how your choices affect your relationships, and how your relationships affect your attitude. It will explore the idea of circumstances versus vision. It includes goal setting and the importance of self-confidence and how to develop a positive attitude. The book teaches the importance of respecting authority, the power and consequences of choice making, and the influence of relationships. It will help you understand the challenges of negative peer pressure, and the book also explains how to be successful in school. My goal for you is not only will your adolescent survive their journey, but they will thrive through this journey of change and development.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Aug 14, 2018
• ISBN: 9781640039490

Book preview

9781640039490_cover.jpg

Your Child’s Adolescence!

You Survive, They Thrive!

It’s All about Attitude, Choices, and Relationships.

Robert Harding M.Ed.

ISBN 978-1-64003-948-3 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64003-949-0 (Digital)

Copyright © 2018 Robert Harding M.Ed.

All rights reserved

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books, Inc.

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

Dedication

I dedicate this book to Samantha Burkett, who always believed in me, supported me, and convinced me to stay, by saying, there’s a perfect job for you. Because of your guidance, this book is a product of that perfect job you led me to. With all my heart, thank you.

Preface

Having worked for over twenty years with middle school students, I have had many parents come to me frustrated and at a loss, not knowing what to do with their adolescent. They don’t understand what their child is going through. Things today are so different from when they were adolescents, and as a parent, it can be pretty scary, I know, my wife and I have raised two boys ourselves. I have also had several colleagues encourage me to share what I have developed, and they have suggested I write about it. This is why I have written this book, Your Child’s Adolescence! You Survive, They Thrive!

The book covers the physical, intellectual, social, and emotional changes that occur in adolescence. I will explain my life model, and how your attitude affects your choices, how your choices affect your relationships, and how your relationships affect your attitude. It will explore the idea of circumstances versus vision. It includes goal setting, the importance of self-confidence, and how to develop a positive attitude. I will also show the importance of respecting authority, the power and consequences of making choices, and the influence of relationships. I will help you understand the challenges of negative peer pressure, and also expound on how to be successful in school.

As you read this book, you will realize that the control you have, or think you have, will be transferred to the adolescent. This is a time in their lives that they need to feel a sense of power and responsibility. It is time for your adolescent to take charge of their future and develop skills and strategies that will help them survive their adolescence, and to also thrive through this time in their lives. My hope is that you will enjoy this journey with your adolescent, as you watch them transition into adulthood and a mature life of independence.

ADOLESCENCE

In the course of our existence, we go through many different developmental stages, all the way from our birth, into our infancy, and then evolving into toddlers, which leads us into our childhood, and then our adulthood, and finally death. Each of these stages has their own significant events and growth attributed to them, and they are all very important to our development as humans; but the one stage that seems to be the most difficult is the transitional stage from childhood into adulthood that is called adolescence.

Ask yourself, or ask any other adult about their adolescent experience. Most of us would not want to go through it again, and we all would probably admit we are glad we got through it, and that we are happy to be done with it. But undeniably, as adults, and with our experience, we know adolescence is not an easy time for children.

If you are a parent of an adolescent, you are going to struggle, you are going to become frustrated, and inevitably, you are going to hope for a quick end to this impairment of your child. As a parent, you are going to hope your child will survive the storms and stresses of their adolescence and emerge as an independent adult, who may actually one day thank you for all you did. (You’ll thank me one day for doing this!)

Now, on the other hand, if you are a middle school teacher, there seems to be no end to adolescence.

I had a professor tell me, Being a middle school teacher is like being a soldier on the front lines of the Vietnam War. Students just keep coming, wave after wave after wave. You will get older, but the students are always going to be the same age. Meaning, throughout your middle school teaching career, you’re stuck with a never-ending supply of adolescents.

For parents, depending on the size of their families, they’ll see an end to this stage, and they at last get a break. As middle school teachers, your break comes with retirement, but for me, as a middle school teacher, this unstable stage is what makes my job, and keeps me going to work. Call me a masochist, or call me crazy (something I’ve heard a lot), but the continual challenges of this developmental stage of adolescence has fascinated me.

From my first day as a teacher, I not only wanted to understand all the aspects of adolescence, I also wanted to be able to help guide students through it. This has led me to develop a theory, which I call my life model. I have created lessons and approaches to help adolescents not only survive, but thrive. In addition to these lessons and approaches I have also established summer and before-school programs working with adolescents. With all of my experience and knowledge, I have had several parents and colleagues encourage me to share what I have developed, and they have suggested I write about it.

So what follows is my attempt to share and to educate you on what I have learned and developed. To get started, we have to begin by first understanding what adolescence is and all the changes and challenges that occur during this stage.

Adolescence is the period of rapid development between childhood and adulthood. It typically starts around the ages of twelve to thirteen with the onset of puberty. It begins the same way in all of us, but not at the same time. When adolescence starts, the body releases chemicals called hormones. These hormones control the physical, intellectual, social, and emotional growth from childhood into adulthood.

Initially, the most noticeable changes are the physical, because we can see and smell them. But these hormones will also affect the child’s intellectual development, their social development, and their emotional development. These other areas of development, in the beginning, are not so noticeable; but in time, they will rear their ugly heads. So here are some changes and challenges that in time you will notice regarding these four areas of development.

First, adolescents experience many physical changes. They will begin to look like they will when they’re adults. An adolescent’s body changes as quickly as when he or she was an infant. I have found that you will know when your child has begun adolescence because they will begin to smell. One physical change is the development of sweat glands, which leads to body odor.

In adolescence, the basic shape of their bodies will change as they grow and develop. Girls become more curvy, narrower at the waist, and broader at the hips and shoulders. Boys become broader at the shoulders and more muscular. Their voices deepen, and they start to grow facial hair.

During adolescence, bones grow faster than muscles. This period of rapid development is called a growth spurt, and children can experience several spurts throughout this process. Some of these changes adolescents will experience are also only temporary, such as acne and oily skin and hair. Because of adolescents’ rapid growth and these temporary changes, they may feel awkward. This sense of awkwardness can decrease their level of self-confidence.

Nutrition is also very important during this developmental stage. Good nutrition helps adolescents reach their full height and weight. Adolescents need to understand that candy, soft drinks, and snacks do not make a balanced diet. So, as the body is going through these changes, it is important to properly feed these changes and physical stresses. But as the body grows and changes, so does the adolescent brain. The brain goes into the third and final stage of intellectual development.

Adolescents also experience rapid intellectual development, changing the way they think. As young children, they use concrete thinking, relying on what they can see, hear, or touch. Concrete thinking is limited to what can be perceived. It is thinking in the moment. That is why when someone says something mean and hurtful, as children, we quickly reply with something meaner and more hurtful. Or someone hits us, we hit them right back, not thinking of any consequences of our actions. As this developmental stage begins, another type of thinking will be developed. This thinking is called abstract thinking.

We will always use concrete thinking, but abstract thinking is acquired as a complementary addition to our thinking. Where concrete thinking relies on our senses, abstract thinking involves ideas and concepts. This is when adolescents learn to use abstract thinking to do difficult math problems, consider the idea of how a choice might affect their future, or the concept of decisions and their consequences.

This is also the time when adolescents develop other life skills, such as problem-solving strategies, planning tactics, and decision-making strategies. Of the three stages of intellectual development, this is the most important stage because what the adolescent develops is what they carry with them for the rest of their life. Another aspect that makes this the most important stage of intellectual development is that alcohol and drug use during this stage can damage, delay, and destroy this development. Adolescent alcohol and drug use is a real challenge that has serious consequences. Remember, what the adolescent develops during this intellectual stage is what they will carry with them for the rest of their life.

Through this transition in changing the way adolescents think, their thinking can become confused and their perceptions can be wrong. There will be times when they won’t get it. They will be perplexed. They will see others among them understanding things that they can’t seem to grasp. There will be