You CAN Beat Your Addiction!: If You're Thinkin' What I'm Thinkin'

By Larry N.

You CAN Beat Your Addiction! If You're Thinkin' What I'm Thinkin' means exactly what it says. I've spent the last fifteen years gathering information on the disease of addiction. Many people don't understand what the disease truly is and how it affects our daily lives. It seems to be an imbalance in the brain. Because of misunderstandings, we don't know the proper way to equip ourselves to deal with our thoughts and, ultimately, our actions! Join me as I share accurate information that I have compiled while working a recovery program of my own! You will learn the origin of the twelve steps, along with my experiences while working them, and true spirituality, not the myths and misunderstandings that most people have! It has been said that experience is the best teacher. This book is based on exactly that. Get a feel of what working the steps is like, what the origin of the programs are, and most importantly, what spirituality truly means! If you, your spouse, your child, or any loved one has issues with addictive thinking, which includes alcohol, drugs, sex, gambling, or even shopping, then this book is for you! Just remember, it's not WHAT you're doing but WHY! Let me show you just what I mean, and then you CAN beat your addiction, if you're thinkin' what I'm thinkin'.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Covenant Books, Inc.
• Release date: Feb 6, 2019
• ISBN: 9781643009360

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You CAN Beat Your Addiction!

If You’re Thinkin’ What I’m Thinkin’

Larry N.

ISBN 978-1-64300-935-3 (Paperback)

ISBN 978-1-64300-936-0 (Digital)

Copyright © 2019 Larry N.

All rights reserved

First Edition

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods without the prior written permission of the publisher. For permission requests, solicit the publisher via the address below.

Covenant Books, Inc.

11661 Hwy 707

Murrells Inlet, SC 29576

www.covenantbooks.com

This book is dedicated to all my brothers and sisters who are lost and still out there!

There is hope! By the grace of God, come join us and find the peace you lost so long ago!

Introduction

Welcome! My name is Larry N. If you are reading this book, then you and I are part of a very large fellowship of people from around the world! It’s also possible that you are the spouse or parent of someone suffering from addiction.

To you, I say, welcome! This word addiction encompasses much more than drug or alcohol use. It could be gambling, shopping, sex, or anything that can bring us momentary pleasure from the pain that is occurring every day in our heads! Many people have tried to explain the feelings and experiences going on in our minds. I’ve been on the quest for an answer for over fifteen years now. Our search for peace and a legitimate explanation of what is going on inside us seems to be the great mystery!

In this book, I am going to share with you five different phases of my life: the life I had before I found recovery, the journey that led to a successful form of recovery, the growth I experienced while in my recovery, the spiritual journey that I discovered along the way while actually learning how to enjoy my life, and then, most importantly, helping others learn how to do this too!

I am not a scholar or a doctor, and I am NOT selling anything! I’m just a guy who’s been through hell and NEVER wants to go back! Nor do I want anyone else to experience that. I’ve been to many meetings and heard hundreds and hundreds of people sharing their stories. I found out early in my journey that every time I heard someone speak and graciously share their life experiences, oddly enough, they seemed to be talking about me! This happened not just now and then. It happened EVERY TIME! Once I realized this, I started really paying close attention. Time after time, they were talking about me! Most of the people who shared their stories had substantial time in recovery, but not all. A few brave newbies would also share. It didn’t matter who it was; I listened intently and found that I had just as much in common with the newbie as the person with years of recovery. I knew then that we all think alike. You are thinking what I’m thinking!

As an addict, I will not be told how to act or what I should or should not do. However, as an addict, I wanted to be able to tell you exactly what you needed to do about your problems. After all, I could fix anyone and anything! Ha, just take a look at me and my success, and you can see that! However, I quickly learned from the programs that I can NOT instruct you or anyone else on how they should behave. This is why I’m only sharing with you the methods that worked for me.

Notice that I keep saying in recovery, not cured. That goes back to the opinion that what we have is a disease. I don’t know what addiction truly is, but I know that for me, it was a way of thinking! That’s where this disease applies to all of us addictive thinkers. I have found that it’s not what we use to relieve the pain, it’s WHY. We must figure out what brings us the pain and fix that. Then the pain goes away. When the pain is gone, our desire goes away! Disease or not, something was making me think differently than most people. For some reason, I couldn’t process everyday life in a reasonable way that would get me through the day; I always felt different—from feeling inferior around others to feelings of panic when making decisions to just feeling lost in the world! I didn’t know what was going on! I just knew that I was different and miserable! Sound familiar? Read on, my friends! There is hope! Life can be better! It’s easier than you might think! People in the programs say, Stick around and wait for the miracle to happen!

I tell you, God has blessed you! The miracle has already happened. WELCOME. I’m glad you’re here!

Chapter 1

My Life Before Recovery

I’ll give you a brief history of my childhood.

I was born into a military family in California. My father was in the Navy, and my mother was at home alone for at least eight months a year. He would come home from being at sea, just long enough to do laundry, get my mother pregnant, and then head back to sea. Any military wife whose husband is deployed can attest to the fact that when he is active in duty and gone, times are tough. My mother became very ill and couldn’t care for me, so she decided to give me up for adoption. It just so happened that I had a second cousin who lived in Missouri. He and his wife could not have children. When they heard about my mothers’ problems, they spoke up immediately and said that they would be happy to adopt me. Since we were all part of the same family, the adoption was pretty simple. Sounds good so far, right? It was! They were wonderful people and did the very best that they knew how to raise me.

They taught me good old-fashioned southern values. This included knowing right from wrong and how to treat others the same as you wanted them to treat you. We attended church regularly, and I had lots of friends at school and around my neighborhood. I was even a Boy Scout! I was a little shy until I got to know you, but at that time, the shyness still seemed normal. And then puberty came and so did the beginning of my issues.

Boys my age began to think about girls and also about our place in the pecking order of society. My shyness began to grow, so I didn’t stand up for my spot in that pecking order. I began to withdraw more and more. Guys began to pick on me in front of the girls because they knew that I wouldn’t fight back. I’m a big guy, so this made them look tough, and me like a wimp! Further and further down I went. I was an addict waiting to happen, and it did! First, it started with cigarettes. These made me look cool, or so I thought. The few friends that I had seemed to be impressed!