It's Not Selfish, It's Self-Celebration: A Therapeutic Guide Teaching You How to Take Ownership of Your Happiness

By Sasha J Jackson

Have you felt frustration in your ability to trust yourself with making decisions in important areas of your life? 

Are you confused that your thoughts and habits push you farther away from your goals ? 

Are you tired of feeling stuck and limited in your actions?

Do you want to heal

• Language: English
• Publisher: Sasha Jackson, LLC
• Release date: Jan 25, 2023
• ISBN: 9798218133573

Book preview

It's Not Selfish, It's Self-Celebration

It's Not Selfish, It's Self-Celebration

It's Not Selfish, It's Self-Celebration

A Therapeutic Guide Teaching You How to Take Ownership of Your Happiness

Sasha Jackson, LCSW

Contents

notes

Dedication

Finding Self-Celebration

The Healing Process

I

Awareness

Belief: The Foundation of Your Reality

Thinking into Growth

Learning and Leaning into Your Emotions

II

Alignment

The Big 3: Curiosity, Honesty, Vulnerability

Core Components of Alignment

III

Action

The 4 Action Killers: Resistance, Procrastination, Rigidity, and Perfectionism

The G.O.A.T.- Growth Orientated Action Techniques

Reading List

Disclaimer: Names have been changed to protect client privacy and confidentiality.

Copyright © 2022 by Sasha Jackson, LCSW

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

First Printing, 2023

I would like to dedicate this book to my family, friends, and to those who have allowed me to walk with them in their journey of healing. 

Finding Self-Celebration

I nestled into my chair adjacent to the worn in leather loveseat my client was comfortably sitting on. The intoxicating smell of the teal sea salt vanilla candle draped around the room. The sun peeped into the double wide windows waving hello and welcoming the new journey. The space was filled with possibility and energetic potential. I was excited, to say the least. It must have shown, because the corners of my client’s mouth crept into a smile, while a bit of hesitation flashed into her eyes. Not the type of hesitation you see when someone is scared but the anticipation of unlocking yet another piece of themselves that they have been waiting so long for.  

So how has your week been? Did anything new come up for you? I started. Jenny began to detail the triumphs she had and the revelations she unearthed. She was enamored by her ability to tackle situations that once had her trivialized. It was enthralling to hear how she had been more comfortable expressing her dreams and the desire to take control of her life. But I still don’t know if it’s okay to be me. I feel powerless, my client spat out. The words cut through the entanglement of the romanticized dialog we were locked in. A sense of worry and doubt veiled Jenny’s face and tears swelled at the corners of her eyes. She looked down, staring at her hands as they tried to grasp answers from the air. Silence grew and the room became still. My eyes scanned her face as I searched to pull answers out from her core. She truly knows what she needs, I thought, but she does not understand her power. She has the ability to take ownership and responsibility of her life. If only I could teach her how.

As we ended the session with no real conclusion, yet, I reassured Jenny that she will get to the point of living more confidently and happily. I was sure of it, but she left holding onto my beliefs. Not really understanding if she had any of her own. My day progressed as I received clients back-to-back. The dilemma I had previously encountered hung low in my thoughts. Taunting me in a way to be curious on how I could deliver this sacred information to the masses. It’s weird how a theme emerges throughout the day. Each client sang the melody of desire to change their life, but each song was cut short with the doubt of the possible actualization of their personal power. The day ended as I rushed to complete my notes. As I retyped each story and intervention the answer to my clients’ problems became clearer. It did not matter their background, problem, gender, or age. It all came to a common answer. They needed to live more empowered lives. They needed to live for themselves. They needed to reach Self-Celebration. 

Each therapy session I had from that day forward became my training ground. It was a time for me to really recognize how people moved from a point of self-doubt to confidence, from despair to hopefulness. From a point of sacrifice to self-preservation and a point of feeling insignificant to feeling powerful. I knew if I could give my clients and others this tool, this wisdom, then they could truly start to heal from any baggage they were carrying from their past. I began to look at the therapeutic process from a perspective of emotional, mental, and spiritual healing versus solely cognitively, specific mental health disorders, or the stages of development. Of course, not to discount the underpinnings of my own educational background, but to truly go into depth on what I envisioned the how of healing to be for individuals and even myself. Different conversations with friends and colleagues led me to books and beliefs that I had not even considered to add to my own plethora of knowledge. It opened my mind to the different possibilities and answers that existed. It was amazing how one bread crumb led to the next and the next and the next. Each revealing greater insight about human experiences, the universal laws, and the intrinsic power we all possessed. This was a point of awareness I had reached that solved the dilemma I had previously ran into my therapy sessions. If I expected my clients to be open to new channels of information, I too, had to be willing to dive into the unknown to find the hidden treasures that lie beneath. As I acquired more knowledge, I felt more powerful and enlightened by these simplistic truths that we tend to ignore. The day and my mind were full when I reached the point of conceptualizing what I knew to be key components of the healing journey. I swiveled back and forth in my desk chair. Absolutely giddy with the revelation of what I had learned, and more importantly, how I was going to share this vital knowledge. 

Two things were born from my curiosity and mission of empowerment. First, the trajectory of treatment and how individuals got from point A to Z, which is known as Awareness, Alignment, and Action. Second, the skills that are needed to be learned as people grow towards their Self-Celebration. This therapeutic guide will go into depth about each step to help you navigate through your unique process of healing, and more importantly, to support you as you truly learn the power of yourself.  

Many people have the same questions: What does my healing journey look like? How long will it take? or How will I know when I am finally there? As you have probably heard everyone’s journey of healing is unique to themselves. Which is true. However, I absolutely believe that every person goes through three unique stages that unlock their potential. Awareness, Alignment, and Action. Observing my client’s experience, and even reviewing my own journey, I have learned that a person can evolve in life by working through each of these steps. Awareness provides you the insight on what is erecting barriers in your life and how those obstacles originated. Alignment allows you to identify what you truly want, your values, authentic beliefs, and your needs to live a life defined by your happiness. Lastly, Action is the momentum and motivation needed to actively participate in building your success based on the insight of your awareness and the values from your alignment. This first part of your journey sets the foundation needed to integrate the skills that will bring you closer to Self-Celebration. Trust yourself as you enter each phase. Everything you are embarking on is forming the catalyst to your transformation and creating the space you need to find empowerment. 

You already possess the innate power to ultimately live a life that is defined by your happiness and success, but somewhere along the way you forgot how. You forgot that you needed to put yourself first and that you needed to listen to your intuition. You forgot how valuable you are and that you are worth unconditional love. You forgot the meaning of your life which is solely defined by you and instead adopted another person’s version. You forgot, and that is okay. The purpose of this book is to awaken all the many wonderful attributes about yourself that you overlooked due to conforming to the definitions of others who have so brazenly put themselves in charge of your life. The purpose is to teach you how to take back responsibility and ownership of your life path. Why? Because it is yours and yours alone. You get the privilege and opportunity to set the tone of your life. You get to take back what has been temporarily withheld from you. You get to be in charge of the direction of your journey and equally as important your process of healing. I have learned that it is never too late to evolve and transcend into a new version of yourself. Just as I helped support my clients as they tackled tough issues and rose from the depths of their despair. This book will help you achieve the same peace, serenity, triumph, and joy you rightfully deserve to experience in your life. 

So, what makes my approach in the process of healing, happiness, and overall mental wellness different? It’s simply guided by one major belief: Your right to get the life that you deserve is not considered selfish, but it is Self-Celebration! What does Self-Celebration mean? It means you are able to validate your emotional experience, embody self-love, and be a creator in your life. It means you will no longer reject or judge yourself, and you will cultivate resiliency in the face of adversity. It means you will be able to hold empathy for others and yourself while being attuned to your needs. It means you will have confidence, decrease dependency on others, be optimistic, have balance, create healthier relationships, and lastly be willing to explore the many possibilities of happiness that await you. This is Self-Celebration. 

Self-Celebration and selfishness are not the same, but they are not the opposite either. In fact, what these two words have in common is putting yourself first. This act of putting yourself first does not mean you are withholding or limiting others the opportunity to the many possibilities that exist. However, you are just affirming that you have the right to have access to these opportunities, too. With everything in life there is balance. Therefore, I am not condoning radical self-interest. I am advocating that if you are seeking to reclaim your life then you need to find out how you can put yourself first in relationships, career, love, and any other areas. It is when we do not get to actively participate in the unfolding of our life that we experience anxiety, frustration, fear, depression, confusion, regret, loneliness, and anger. This is the moment you learn how to activate your personal power to show up as the lead in your life. There has been too many years, months, and days that you have relinquished the right to own your story.

This guide is not re-teaching you these concepts but awakening the knowledge in which you already possess. Remember, you were born to celebrate yourself but with life experiences, tragedies, and inconveniences it