The 123 Theory - An Empath's Guide to Thrive in Life, Love & Work

By E.E. Bertram

The 123 Theory is your ultimate guide to living a life of balance, fulfilment and purpose as an empath.

 

Through this book you'll learn how to increase your own energy, build more meaningful relationships, create sustainable habits, and maximise your positive impact.

 

You'll discover powerful tools and insights to help you better understand your unique needs as an empath, reprogram your subconscious, and finally take control of your life, relationships and career.

 

By tapping into your wellspring you'll be able to lead with your heart and have sustainable energy for yourself, you loved ones and the word.

 

This book will provide you with the opportunity to step out of the cycle of feeling drained, taken advantage of, and not knowing how to make a meaningful impact.

 

Put your own needs first and unlock a life of energy, mutual benefit and purpose.

 

It's time to transform your sensitivity setbacks into sensitivity superpowers and truly thrive as an empath.

 

The era of the Super Empath has arrived. Let's blaze a trail for a new society powered by the strength of the heart.

 

As a thriving empath you have the power to create a world where empathy and compassion reign supreme, where you can lead by example without feeling drained, and where you can sustain your energy for a lifetime.

 

This book will guide you through the process of applying The 123 Theory, giving you the tools you need to discover your true potential, gain inner strength and create your desired realities, starting from the inside out.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Conscious Fiction
• Release date: Mar 12, 2023
• ISBN: 9780648585589

E.E. Bertram

E.E. Bertram (also known as Esther) is an Australian/Finnish author of fiction for teens (The November Fox Series) and picture & chapter books for children. After traveling Europe as a singer/songwriter for 10 years, Esther’s focus is now on her small publishing house, Conscious Fiction, where the aim is to help grow the big minds of tomorrow, by creating wisdom-filled books & media for the young ones of today. Esther dearly loves the people in her life as well as going on adventures, deep talks with friends, animals, Netflix in bed on her amazing Tempur mattress, open fires, thunderstorms, games, writing books and music, stars in the night sky, rainbows, playing soccer, her flannelette pajamas, problem-solving, unicorns, laughter, nature, holistic health, yummy vegan food and following joy. Stay up-to-date with Esther’s news by joining Conscious Fiction’s Big Mind Kids newsletter and/or connect via social. Simply visit the Conscious Fiction website for links and to join the newsletter. https://consciousfiction.com.au From small seeds, big minds grow.

Book preview

Introduction

Hello, darling fellow empath. Welcome to a little island of respite, reflection and rejuvenation from the tumultuous ocean of emotion. This is a place of nourishment, and it’s my belief that if anyone deserves to be nourished, it’s the givers of the world. I call this place you’ve arrived at The Insel. (Insel means island in German.) Take a deep breath in, and breathe out all the stress, for you are safe here, and it’s time for some regenerisation. 

As empaths, one of the biggest challenges we face is transforming our sensitivity setbacks into superpowers. That can feel like a daunting task, but I’m here to guide you and show it can be as easy as 123. After two decades of putting my theories into practice, I have finally arrived at the destination I wished to get to. Now I am ready to help others arrive here too. It is a place where you can truly thrive in life, love and work, utilising your empath superpowers.

It is my firm belief that being an empath is a superpower. But as with all superpowers, we must learn how to work with it; otherwise it can be more of a hindrance than a help. Being an empath is a state of being that is like being on a life quest with a heavy sword to carry. It can help us make our way through the adventure by cutting through the jungle, but if we don’t know what to do with it, it can just be extra baggage and even cause us harm. Like with all swords, our sword has two sides. On one side, it can cut deep. We feel pain and carry the weight of the world on our shoulders. But on the other, we can feel immense joy and cut sharply through to truth and authenticity. It also shines brightly, reflecting the sun’s rays. We only experience these difficulties because as empaths, we can walk in the shoes of all we meet. Only when we learn how to wield our own sword can we use it to our advantage to feel grounded, balanced, protected and powerful. 

That is what this book is about. 

I am a living example of a once struggling and overwhelmed empath getting pushed and pulled in the tides of the ocean of emotion. I needed a solution to swim and surf, and not drown. Two decades ago, creating my theories was like building a life-saving raft, and since then I have rigorously tested them on the way to my island paradise. But here I am today, standing on my Insel as a testament to the theories, thriving. I’m now ready to share my methods so you don’t have to be lost at sea for as long as I was, and you can rejuvenate and calibrate and get to doing what you do best: opening your big, beautiful heart, but with more sustainable energy.

This book covers the theories, practice, examples and stories, all designed to guide you on your own sword-wielding path and give you the power of ACE = Awareness, Calibration & Engagement. 

It is my intention that by sharing these frameworks, you emerge from your visit to The Insel rejuvenated and able to create your own island paradise. You are the hero of this island-bound quest, and as a result you will be stronger, clearer, armoured, energised and ready to utilise your sensitivity superpowers to the max so you can return to the mainland to thrive in all departments of your life.

At the end of some chapters, I will reference related podcast episodes I have recorded for my Empath Unplugged podcast, for those of you who wish to dive deeper into the subjects raised.

Have you ever heard the saying, Who heals the healers? This book’s aim is to help remedy that. I believe the answer is, we do.

We are the empaths who have the power to tune into subtle energies, so we are the ones best placed to give to ourselves what we all too often give to others first. It’s time for the 213s and the 321s of the world to become strong 123s! (More on that later. 😉)

This book will help identify and reflect on what you need to recalibrate in your life so you can go forth and shine like the bright beacon of love-light that you are. A heart-led world is a world where rainbows of love and empathy for fellow beings are the norm and not the exception. So my personal mission is to help as many fellow empaths as possible to strengthen and balance themselves so that their energetic rainbows shine bright and in harmony for the world to see. Gone are the days where the empaths are trampled as everyone’s doormat. It’s time for us to take control of our lives and be the abundant wellsprings of love we were born to be. Ever flowing, ever loving, ever glowing. Just in the right order so our energy doesn’t run out.

So let’s get to it. I invite you to lie back in the hammock of reflection, under the palm of serenity, and take a big sip on a wisdom mojito. Breathe deep and know that this Insel was built for you. It’s a place where, whatever the outcome, one thing is for sure: you will be nurtured. Because if anyone deserves such nourishment, it’s the givers of the world, like you! I know how hard life has been for you. I know how far you have come to make it here. We empaths carry so much. But you can put that down for a while and get the respite you need. Can’t you just smell that lovely salt air on the breeze? It’s the smell of rejuvenation!

Chapter One: The Naked Turtle

To begin is the most important part of any quest and by far the most courageous. ~ Plato

Good and Bad Baggage

There is a good reason turtles live so long. They don’t have the stress of standing in airport queues, or packing and unpacking endless boxes to move house…yet again. They cruise through life, enjoying the unfolding reality and life situations they end up in, knowing that if what they find themselves in gets too much, all they need to do is say, F&*k this… I’m going home, and simply pull inside the safety of their caravan. Yes, it may be cumbersome, and when you want to race a hare, bets may initially be against you. But believe it or not, this apparent baggage is what enables the turtle to win the race, every time.

It’s just like with fats; they too get a bad name, but there are good and bad fats, and the good ones keep us healthy. The same goes for baggage. There are good and bad kinds. And I’m not talking Samsonite or Gucci. As empaths who want to thrive in all aspects of this wonderful life ride we are on, our task is to realise which baggage will serve us and which not. And to ditch the stuff that holds us back and gather and refine the kind that armours us.

The Empathy Spectrum

When we’re children who are empaths, or even adult empaths who haven’t yet learnt about self-protection, we can feel like we are a naked turtle. We are engulfed in a dangerous and turbulent ocean of emotion, with its pushing and pulling, dumping and rip-tiding us all around. The sea seems to have little concern for the direction we may prefer to travel. Not to mention all the predators we face! Being a naked turtle, we feel quite helpless, vulnerable, awkward and unlike any of our fellow sea creatures, apart from maybe the sea sponges, who are born absorbers. We have little protection apart from our senses. As a result, they become heightened as we look, listen, taste, smell, feel and expect change at every moment, always on high alert, doing all we can to survive. Our empathy is often born of or exacerbated by childhood trauma. I believe all humans live somewhere on the empathy spectrum, even those with no apparent empathy. They live on the far left of the spectrum. Then there are those of us who can tune into the subtle frequencies often outside of regular sensory perception. We live on the highly sensitive end of the empathy spectrum.

I no longer view humans as an us and them dichotomy, where we must necessarily fit into distinct labels such as being an empath. Instead, I see us as a spectrum of perspectives, like a kaleidoscope of colours and shapes that each person brings to the table. We are all part of the same big picture and have so much to learn from each other, regardless of how we identify ourselves. We are all born from unique experiences which build our models of reality. We all have biases, culture, choices, lenses, thoughts and feelings that influence our beliefs regarding what we find to be true and just or not.

But although I err on the side of wishing we could remove ALL names and labels, purely so humans could remain open enough to bask in the glory of the miracle of conscious life on Earth, and not be distracted with the naming part, in doing this we often miss the goodness of what lies below the name. Labels help us sometimes.

I’m certainly grateful that I stumbled across the word empath in recent years. I 100% identify as an empath, as I resonate with and experience the textbook definition of what being an empath is, and that has led me to find others who experience life similarly. Having this label, I have found a family of sorts, and if you are reading these words right now, you are likely on the high end of the empathy spectrum, too. If you’re not sure if you’re an empath, see how well you relate to the following.

Am I a Naked Turtle?

I am a wise-beyond-my-years turtle of the sea, others talk to me about their problems. I have patience and empathise with their stories, as I relate to them deeply. I feel as though I have walked in their shoes (or swum in their currents), but without understanding why I have such insight. It’s just there; I sense others’ essence. Often I feel like a naked turtle, vulnerable and unprotected against narc sharks and strong emotive currents. I feel energetically drained at times, and sea-sponge-like, especially from being around lots of others for too long, and I wish to hide away and renew my energy sources.

I’m prone to being swayed by the tides in the ocean of emotion and like it when I can dock for a while to have respite and ground myself. I feel things deeply. I have innate wisdom and seem to know things without knowing how I know them, and I can usually tune into the intent of others even before they speak. I can sense what others are feeling, and it is work to detangle others’ emotions and states from my own.

I feel nurtured by nature. I love the ocean, as its waters are my home, even if it occasionally engulfs me. I love the beauty and serenity of nature in all forms, as it nurtures and fills my heart and soul to be within it. The natural world seems to mirror my soul.

I have an open mind because I can feel how diverse others’ experiences