Mi Vida Loca: the Diary of a Teen Mom

By Ella Pottle

Ella Pottle’s life has been a rollercoaster. It has had some loops and twists and turns and highs and lows, and sometimes it has gone around that same track more than once. In Mi Vida Loca, she shares her story, the story of a young girl who had two children before the age of nineteen.

In this memoir, Pottle tells how rather than let this define her, she found a way to provide the world with a different and positive outlook. She discusses how she believes her kids are the factor that saved her from living a tragic life. They gave her a reason to work hard, and they provided her with the love she craved. To some, becoming a teen parent may look like a tragedy, but for Pottle it was a journey that gave her a reason to live and do the best she could to break the cycle of generational trauma for her branch of the family tree.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Archway Publishing
• Release date: Jan 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9781665734875

Ella Pottle

Ella Pottle was born and raised in small towns in Alberta. She has lived in more than twenty different communities and more than thirty-five homes. Pottle is married and has two children.

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Copyright © 2023 ELLA POTTLE.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

Archway Publishing

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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ISBN: 978-1-6657-3486-8 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6657-3487-5 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2022922807

Archway Publishing rev. date: 12/31/2022

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D o you

ever sit back and analyze your life, all the major milestones you have been through, the happy, the sad, and then all of a sudden a light bulb goes on and you understand? You can finally see when things happened for a reason, where people came into your life, helping to shape the person you are to become, why the good or the bad occurred, where the situation was going to happen regardless but that other thing happened to distract you from it or helped you get through it.

That’s what I have done, and that’s where I am now, reflecting, understanding and appreciating everything that I have ever gone through, everyone that I have ever met and everything that is to come. I am where I am supposed to be. I am in a position where I can help others understand that the pain they are going through today may be so that they can have a better tomorrow. The struggle you are going through today might help your grandchildren live a happier life. The decisions you make, whether they be good or bad, will help shape your decision-making in the future, and you can take the time to be thankful and to work at being the best version of yourself. That’s all you can do, and the other moving parts in your life will fall into place wherever they are meant to. I have also come to realize that you can only control you and what you do to enhance your life experience, so don’t leave your future in someone else’s control. Ensure that you are creating the happiness that you desire and not waiting for someone else to provide you with it.

I have spent a lot of time with anger in my heart. Anger towards my parents, anger towards my grandparents, anger towards the world. Then I realized that the situations that I didn’t necessarily understand or value happened to shape my world. My life is far from perfect. I am not where I feel like I should be in my journey, and I am still trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I may not have all the material items I wish I would have had by now, but what I do have is faith that things will work out the way that they are meant to, and I am thankful for what I do have. I have been blessed with an AMAZING life, even without all the luxuries that some have. I am lucky enough to have two beautiful, healthy kids who impress me every day, I have a husband who has worked incredibly hard to ensure that I have everything that I want, especially love, I have experienced so many amazing memories with my people, and I wouldn’t change those experiences for the world!

When I first started putting my story to paper, I couldn’t seem to get it done. It was filled with so much anger. It was full of stories that some people would not want the world to read, and that was not how I wanted to share my story. Yes, there are things that happened to me in my youth that I believe could have been avoided, they could have been handled better and they could have changed the entire trajectory of my life, but they were meant to happen the way that they did, and forgiveness is the only thing that is going to help. Blaming or shaming someone else is not going to make the past disappear.

I have always been an open book. I have told my kids all the things I have experienced, and I think that this will help ensure that history doesn’t repeat itself. It is important to me that my kids know that I am willing to take ownership for my own mistakes and that we can all learn from them. It is also important that they know that I am there for them no matter what, and even when I think that I should leave them alone, I make sure that I tell them one last time that I love them and that I am there if they need me.

My life has been a rollercoaster. It has had some loops and twists and turns and highs and lows, and sometimes it has gone around that same track more than once. But all I wish for is that, as you read this, you are able to see that NO MATTER what you have done, no matter how bad things have fallen or how sad you have felt, that sometimes just looking at things from a different perspective, pretending that it isn’t your life and thinking of the advice that you would give someone else, can help you get through the situation, and when you look back, hopefully you can see the lesson that you were meant to take away. Try to find something to be happy about. Did you have someone smile at you today? Did you find a quarter on the sidewalk? Did you eat today? Most of the time there is someone out there who is going through much worse than we are and we don’t even know it – think of that the next time you find that you are feeling sorry for yourself.

I am not necessarily a religious person, even though I went to a Catholic school throughout most of my childhood and I have been through all the major religious milestones, but I do believe that there is a fate for each of us. There is a bit of a path that we are meant to follow, and on this path there are a lot of different routes that we can take. Sometimes the route we have chosen takes us the long way around, but, nevertheless, I do believe that everyone’s journey is somewhat laid out.

I have stopped, started and restarted writing this book at least a dozen times. I did this, not because I didn’t want to share my story, but because I was afraid that I would embarrass, offend or just down right make someone angry by telling my story with them in it. Please keep in mind that my intention was never to hurt or insult anyone. My intention was to get my story out there so that others can learn from it, so others can see that no one has a perfect life and that everyone, regardless of decisions that they have made, deserves to live a happy, healthy life regardless of where they come from.

I spent so much of my life working towards everyone else’s dreams, doing what they said I "should ‘’ do, wanting the thing that everyone else wanted, working hard to get to a place that once I got there made me realize that wasn’t at all where I wanted to be.

I could care less if I own a house with a garage and a fenced backyard on a lot that cost me triple the amount because it has rounded curbs. I could care less if my car is worth thousands of dollars so long as it gets me from Point A to Point B. I could care less if we get to go on fancy vacations to places like Hawaii for two weeks at a time if it means that we are going to be somewhere where we feel out of place or that we go to with other people because we really can’t stand being with one another alone. I don’t want other peoples’ lives—I LOVE mine!

I love that my kids and I can laugh and have a great time just by floating down the river on a dinghy that cost us $40 and likely doesn’t have the correct amount of air in it. I love that we can go to the airport to try to see celebrities that we are interested in at 10 pm on a school night because we want to and we share that same zest for living in the moment. I love that my husband and I can go out for supper, go bowling, go to the movies, go to parties or just relax at home and always act like it is only the two of us in a room because we are that connected with one another.

I love that our family can be arguing one minute and then be laughing and giggling five minutes later because we understand one another. We share things with each other, and, in the end, we are always going to be there for each other because we are ALL we have ever had and ALL we have ever been able to count on. I don’t mean it like it is a bad thing. I, of course, would have loved if my kids could have had closer relationships with their grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, etc., but I can’t say that I am not thankful for the relationships that we have with each other, and those have only been stronger because of the lack of people in our lives and our constant effort to be there for our kids.

If we had lived in a larger, fancier house, we likely wouldn’t have spent as much time close to one another because we would have had more personal space to get lost in. If we had fancier vehicles, it still would have been us inside of them, they still would have gotten us from place to place, but we wouldn’t have been any better off because of them, so why waste the money we instead spent on going to the movies or fairs, or road trips to visit friends and family? If we had been able to go on fancy vacations because we had the extra money, would we have appreciated them as much as we did the vacations we had afforded? Would we have expected them all the time and taken them for granted? If we had been able to afford these things, would it have been at the cost of our time throughout the year, would we have had to work more and have been left with less time to spend with one another?

These are the things that go through my mind when I feel envious of other people. The life that we have afforded is the life that was meant for us. Our struggles, our triumphs, our goals, they are not for everyone, just like other peoples’ are not for us, and it is just so sad that it took me so long to see that and that some people NEVER do. Your happiness is the most important thing that you can provide for yourself. You need to WANT to go to work every day, you need to WANT to spend time with your family, you NEED to be happy in the life that YOU are living! If you aren’t then it is time to change things.

It took me a long time to understand myself. I am an open book, I tell people my honest truth and I don’t sugar coat things. My expressions, my attitude, they always give away what I am feeling and I have learned to embrace this. I am not going to pretend that I am someone I am not. I am not going to waste my life taking time away from my family to spend it with people who I don’t think bring out the absolute best in me and who I don’t enjoy being around. I am done fighting and putting effort into things that I don’t want to sustain.

I am so glad that I have come to realize this. I know that some days I do, and will, still find myself envious of others, envious of their big fancy homes and vacations, envious of those with big families who spend time together, but I just remind myself that the life I have is pretty darn good and the challenges that we have had to face to get here are not like anyone else’s, and that is what makes our story special.

I hope that at some point in this book you wake up and realize that your life is yours to love. I hope that no matter what it is that you have been through, whether it be abuse, financial struggles, parenthood, low self-esteem, whatever it might be, that you will come to realize that EVERYONE has a story. Yes, some people have it easier than others and some have harder journeys, but it is exactly what they were meant to go through. What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger, and I have been told that God only gives you what you can handle. To me, this means that the ones who have had the easier time likely had a lot of lessons to learn in different ways. Sometimes what you see is not at all what is happening, and sometimes it is the generations before who had to go through the lessons. Sometimes people are having a harder time because they just don’t get it, they blame others for their hardships or refuse to take steps towards fixing their situations. Sometimes we need to be pushed a little harder to understand that we are on the wrong path! It won’t always make sense to us, but that is not for us to decide. It is up to us to live our dreams and leave other people to their own fates.

I am so thankful for everything that I have been through. There are a lot of things that I would never want to relive again, but there are a lot of things that if they never would have happened, I would likely not be where I am today and I would not be as grateful as I am for the life that I live.

If I had NEVER gotten pregnant at 16, I would not have my amazing kids. It may not have been the ideal age that people should be having babies, but I see the people who I went to school with who are almost 35 years old and just having kids and I feel bad for them. I don’t have the energy that I once did. I can’t imagine giving up my sleep and trying to play with my kids the way that I enjoy at this age now. I am lucky to have my kids to hang out with every day, to have fun with, to go to movies with, to go shopping with, to play games with, to go on rides with, to water ski with, to downhill ski with. Most of my friends will be 50 by the time they get to enjoy any of these freedoms, and there aren’t a lot of people who will even participate in a lot of these activities, let alone have the energy to do any of them by that time.

I don’t regret having my kids when I did for a second! They have made me into the