Finding Grace 5:17

By Merri Anne Fortenberry

These true short stories share how one woman found grace through the unwavering struggles in life. Her pastor says her book, "… will impact your life. You will cry. You will laugh. And you will yearn for a simpler time." The numbers 5:17 became special in her journey with God. From childhood adventures to her teenage struggles with anxiety, God had a plan for her life even when she couldn't see it. Marrying the love of her life at a young age brought challenges of its own, but God's plan for her future was bigger than she could see. Experiencing much heartache along the way, she discovered strength that only comes from God. He put the right people in her path, along with a special needs granddaughter born with Trisomy 18, to draw her closer to Him.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BookBaby
• Release date: Oct 19, 2022
• ISBN: 9781667869421

Book preview

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Finding Grace 5:17

©2022, Merri Anne Fortenberry

All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.

ISBN: 978-1-66786-941-4

ISBN eBook: 978-1-66786-942-1

Contents

Foreward

Introduction

The River

The Fear

A Father’s Love

My Hero

The Protector

No Hope

The Power Of Prayer

I’m Not Ready

Grace And Victory

Five Speaks Of Grace

5 Points to Finding Grace:

Notes

Dedication

This book is dedicated to the memory of my granddaughter, Olivia Kate Torian. A child that touched my heart at the first glimpse I saw her. Olivia was born with Trisomy 18, which was diagnosed after her birth. She was given no hope of survival and was labeled as Incompatible with Life. Through prayer, faith, and God’s grace, Olivia fought for her life and beat the odds against her. She lived a life with purpose. During her life of five years, she taught me about faith and strength. Through Olivia, I discovered a passion to write; a passion to share her story and what God was doing in her life. I became the voice for a child that couldn’t speak. Her life of five years speaks grace. Until we meet again, sweetheart.

Olivia Kate Torian

December 3, 2007 – January 29, 2012

Foreward

Sweet Lady is a phrase often implied by the ladies of our church as they communicate with one another. I am somewhat humored each time I hear it. I often think (to myself of course), is she really a Sweet Lady when no one is looking? I cannot speak for everyone I’ve heard called this over the last 15 or so years but I can certainly say Merri Anne Fortenberry is a true Sweet Lady. She is not a soft or weak lady, but a perfectly Sweet Lady.

Merri Anne provided my wife, Mitsie, and I with a copy of her manuscript to read. It set on my nightstand for a couple of days while I completed a few other scheduled reading projects, and now it was next on the list. I picked it up and soon became entranced in the content of Finding Grace 5:17. I read it in two sittings and went directly to her with this admonition, publish it!

You may ask, why? Really, does the world need one more book? The world needs this one. The pages of this book are filled with real life stories of home spun humor, beautiful country raising, love oozing out of every sentence, life tragedies’, triumphs, valleys, mountains, the people, and the God that has walked alongside Merri Anne through them all.

Merri Anne has recorded her life from the Pine Burr homestead to the publisher’s desk. She has woven a beautiful tapestry of life and faith many people in our world need to snuggle up in and rest awhile. I urge you to read each chapter with a connection of eye and heart in order to catch the Holy Spirit anointing from Introduction to Conclusion. Your life will be impacted. You will cry. You will laugh. You will yearn for a simpler time of life; all the while being gently rocked into a deeper calling in Christ Jesus our Lord. A faith calling. If this book is anything, it is a book of faith. One Sweet Lady’s journey in life that so powerfully illustrates the power and faithfulness of our great God.

The book will not just tell you Merri Anne’s faith journey, it will encourage you to realize your faith journey. You will see how God does not play favorites but will do for you exactly what he has done for Merri Anne. Read, realize, and begin to record your life in Christ. When it is all said and done, you have read a Sweet Lady’s testimony and now you should go and share it!

Brian D. Stewart, Pastor. The Church On Main, Columbia, Mississippi.

Introduction

One of the greatest gifts in life is discovering who you are in Christ and living out your purpose. Not everyone will pursue their purpose, and life is sure to bring struggles to us all. But focusing on the right direction will make those struggles easier and bring purpose into plain sight. The majority of what we encounter from birth throughout our life molds and shapes us into the person we are today. My personal life stories have been challenging and life-altering; redirecting the focus from myself toward God’s purpose for my life has motivated me to share my stories to encourage others to invest in their life and spiritual journey. We all have a beginning, and one day we will have an end, but the life in between makes the difference. The dreams, the lessons learned, the achievements, the failures, the gifts, the challenges, and the ambition to know who we are behind our successes and failures come with learning grace; that undeserved favor from God.

We find ourselves trying to measure our successes and failures on a scale. We think of grace as a reward or discipline for our actions or behavior. But the true grace of God was covered on Calvary’s cross by Jesus himself. Jesus took the punishment and paid the price for my sins and for our sins. Jesus is Love and Grace.

All my dreams, the lessons I learned, and even the failures in my life are all a part of my personal learning experience to understand this gift called grace. This gift from God that is the undeserved forgiveness that allows me to let go of past wrongs. The gift of receiving a blessing I don’t deserve; that unmerited favor from God.

Learning to show grace to others is a must in our spiritual growth. We must forgive others with grace, just like God forgave us with grace. In other words, we extend grace just like we receive grace. It is that undeserved favor and love we extend to others. Grace is not easy to understand but finding grace brings freedom.

Our character, of who we become, is a choice. We choose to make good decisions, or we choose to make bad decisions throughout our lives. Living our lives by these choices impacts our lives and those of the people around us. Hanging on to past mistakes because we feel we don’t deserve grace just keeps us down. It stops our growth from maturing into the person God has called us to be. It keeps us feeling unworthy to enjoy this beautiful gift called grace. As sinners, we don’t deserve His grace, but God gives His grace freely and abundantly to everyone that will repent and receive it.

Through teenage struggles and young adult trials in life, I needed to learn about God’s grace. My thinking was impaired, and I didn’t understand this beautiful gift from God. I didn’t feel worthy or that I deserved it and failed at trying to earn it. My thinking was all wrong.

Learning to let go of my self-control and leaning on God to guide me, grew a beautiful relationship that I cherish with Him today. A relationship that consists of love, trust, forgiveness, and even challenges. A relationship like I have with friends and family but on a deeper and more intimate level. God has placed people throughout my life to help sharpen my mind, to be encouragers along the way, and to help grow my maturity in my relationship with Him. People to influence my focus and my faith, and people to teach me about grace. We all need these people in our lives.

Several years ago, God blessed our family with a beautiful special-needs granddaughter named Olivia Kate Torian. Born with Trisomy 18, she was labeled as Incompatible with Life. She was the person in my adult life that God placed there to help grow and mature my spiritual walk with Him. As the saying goes, This is where the rubber meets the road. I had to put my faith into action.

I discovered an intimate relationship with God like I had never experienced before. I began to share my thoughts and feelings that were overflowing from my heart. These thoughts were speaking and shouting of my love for God.

I believe God uses people and situations in our lives to intrigue us and to encourage us. Things that capture our attention and capture our hearts help to grow our relationship with Him. My heart was set on fire with the desire for His love.

God used Olivia Kate Torian in a beautiful way. Her years of life, even if only five, speak of grace. I shared her stories and became a voice in her world of silence. A child that did not walk or talk was given a life that spoke volumes of God’s love, grace, and His mercy. This was the hardest road I have ever walked in my life but the most beautiful journey I have ever been on. My heart burned with passion to share what God was not only doing in her life, but in my life. During these trials, I saw God in a bigger and better way. I saw God in everything! His presence became ever so near to me. For the first time in my life, I was seeking Him, and I found grace. His Word became a living testimony in my daily walk with Him.

At five years old, Olivia completed her journey in this world. God very suddenly took her home to Heaven. The pain her body had endured and her suffering in this world were over. After her passing, my heart grieved for her. Even though I knew Jesus held Olivia in His arms, I felt lost. My passion grew weak, but God continued to speak to my heart. He continued to intrigue my thoughts and capture my attention. My desire for that intimate relationship still burned inside. I just lost my way of expressing it. I believe that God understood my heart and allowed me to grieve. He allowed me to be still, to listen to Him in the silence, and to find my way.

God continues to speak to my heart. He captures my attention through His Living Word, through others, through nature, and even through numbers. Yes, numbers!

I started to notice these numbers after Olivia was born and while I helped care for her. It was just a random occurrence, but it became a noticeable thing. It was so frequent that I joked to my family and friends about my special numbers. I remember joking that these numbers must have a meaning, and one day I would write a book and name it 5:17. This was during my days of journaling about Olivia’s life.

It still happens today. It is so often that it is a noticeable but still random occurrence. I am not much on numbers, and math is not my specialty, but I find it interesting. In the beginning, I would just smile about it, not thinking much of it. It almost felt like a childhood game. If it happened when family or friends were around me, I would show them my numbers. I wanted others to see what I was seeing, even if it didn’t mean anything. But then, over time, it started to pique my interest.

To explain how I see these numbers, I have been woken from sleep at 5:17 a.m. many mornings. Or looked unconsciously at my watch at 5:17 p.m. in the evening, more times than I can count. This unconscious occurrence amazes me. I started taking pictures when it happened to keep track, or I would screenshot the time on my phone.

Recently we passed a gas station, and the price displayed was $5.17. I have glanced at the distance to travel in my car, and at that exact moment have 517 miles to go after attending a friend’s daughter’s funeral service in Elmira, NY. I had been on an airplane traveling to Bermuda and looked at the speed of the aircraft, and it was traveling at 517 miles per hour. I have picked up items at the grocery store several times that cost $5.17. One morning recently, I had a friend whose mother was sick and put on a ventilator text me at exactly 5:17 in the morning to pray for her, and the list goes on.

Over time, I began to feel in my spirit these are God winks. When it happens, I think of God. It reminds me of scriptures that I love. It reminds me to pray. Maybe seeing these numbers are part of my connection with God. My intimate relationship to keep me focused. Maybe this is the reason why each time it happens, I get a big smile on my face.

Several years ago, when these numbers became noticeable to me, my curiosity kicked in. I started to research biblical number meanings. I found that five represents grace and seventeen represents completion or victory. But then my heart told me to research Books of the Bible that have a Chapter 5 and a Verse 17 scripture. The messages in several of these scriptures are powerful; words of God that I needed to read to remind me of who I am in Christ. All of God’s Word is powerful, and it is alive today; just pick it up and read it to experience it for yourself.

I will admit that seeing 5:17 so often in my life has put my mind and thoughts more into God’s Word. Maybe this was God’s push for me to invest more time in His Word and in my spiritual walk with Him. Something to pique my curiosity. Just maybe as a baby Christian, I was being taught to walk on my own, to become a more mature Christian. As you