Checkout Girl: A Life Behind the Register

By Anna Sam

My name is Anna. Im 31 years old with a degree in literature and a life story that is both completely ordinary and a little bit unusual
Former cashier Anna Sam offers an insiders peek at what really goes on behind the register. In the wise and witty voice of the college-educated, underpaid retail worker, Sam comments on everything from ill-cut uniforms, to drunken customers, to Express Lane tricks. Filled with hilarious and hair-raising observations, Checkout Girl is a great gift for anyone who has ever been, or had an encounter with, a supermarket cashier.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Union Square & Co.
• Release date: Apr 5, 2011
• ISBN: 9781402782503

Book preview

CHECKOUT GIRL

A Life Behind the Register

Anna Sam

Translated by Morag Young

9781402782503_0002_001

STERLING and the distinctive Sterling logo are registered trademarks of

Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.

First published in France as Les tribulations d’une caissière by Éditions Stock

Copyright © Éditions Stock, 2008

English translation by Morag Young

English translation copyright © Gallic Books 2009

First published in Great Britain in 2009 by Gallic Books,

134 Lots Road, London, SW10 0RJ

This book is copyright under the Berne Convention

No reproduction without permission

All rights reserved

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data Available

2 4 6 8 10 9 7 5 3 1

Published by Sterling Publishing Co., Inc.

387 Park Avenue South, New York, NY 10016

Distributed in Canada by Sterling Publishing

c/o Canadian Manda Group, 165 Dufferin Street,

Toronto, Ontario, Canada M6K 3H6

Manufactured in the United States of America

All rights reserved

Sterling ISBN 978-1-4027-7659-5

For information about custom editions, special sales, premium and

corporate purchases, please contact Sterling Special Sales

Department at 800-805-5489 or [e-mail].

For my brother, Gwenael. I wish I could

have shared this book with you.

And for all those men and women who

have worked behind the register.

Contents

Introduction

1 Welcome to the Wonderful World of Retail—and Your Dream Job

2 The Top Three Questions Asked at the Register

3 A Haute Couture Fashion Show

4 Cashing Out: The Search for the Missing Coin

5 The Job Interview

6 Yours Statistically

7 Hang on a Minute; I’m at the Register!

8 Entertaining the Supermarket

9 I’ve Saved a Place

10 Kissing Couples

11 Embarrassing Items

12 I’m Hungry!

13 Bargain Hunters—Because Every Penny Counts!

14 The Wonderful Club Card in All Its Complicated Simplicity

15 Closing Time and Opening Time—What Fun!

16 What a Comedian

17 A Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body

18 Where Hollywood Meets the Cereal Aisle

19 Thou Shalt Not Steal

20 I’m the Boss!

21 Your Conveyor Belt: Friend or Foe?

22 How to Hide Your Fortune

23 I’m Paying

24 Out of the Mouths of Babes

25 MA, Checkout Operations

26 Chatty Customers: Your New Best Friends

27 Your Register Is on a Break

28 Do You Have 10 Items or Less?

29 Paper or Plastic: The Hot Debate

30 Can I See Some ID, Please?

31 It’s All About the (Fake) Benjamins

32 Bless You!

33 $19.99, Please!

34 My Register, My Love

35 Game Over

36 Did You Say Bar Codes?

37 Strangely Sticky

38 Drunk Customers

39 There Will Be Blood!

40 Idiots!

41 Can You Go to the Next Register, Please?

42 Will It Scan or Not? The Six Steps for Getting Prices

43 Roll Up, Roll Up: It’s Sale Time

44 The Weekend Show

45 The Big Christmas Rush

46 Countdown

Acknowledgments

About the Author

Introduction

My name is Anna. I’m thirty-one years old with a degree in literature and a life story that is both completely ordinary and a little unusual. I’ve worked for eight years in a supermarket. I started out there just to fund my studies and to have some financial independence, but when I couldn’t find any work using my degree, I stayed on and became that stalwart of modern life: a cashier.

The register. Not a great conversationalist, unless you count the beeps it makes when you scan the produce. As a result of listening to that robotic noise, I felt frankly that I was becoming a little like a robot myself. The fleeting interaction with the customers was not enough to make me feel human. Happily, though, contact with my colleagues did just that.

One day I decided to write about my working life and record the little incidents that fill the day of a cashier. Suddenly, I was looking differently at the customers filing past my register. I was seeing the world of retail with new eyes and discovering that it was a lot more varied than I had thought. There are the easy customers and the more challenging ones. Rich ones, poor ones. Nervous customers, boastful customers. Customers who treat you as if you were invisible and customers who say hello. Some are always champing at the bit for the store to open, and some always arrive just as the store is closing. There are customers who flirt with you and customers who insult you. Who says nothing ever happens in the life of a cashier?

In this volume, I have put together a few of the most hilarious, hair-raising, baffling, and gratifying stories from my life behind the register. So it’s time to take your shopping cart and enter the exciting life of a supermarket cashier. Look, the doors are already opening!

Happy shopping!

*1*

Welcome to the Wonderful

World of Retail—

and Your Dream Job

Congratulations! You’ve finally managed to get an interview and have actually been hired. Welcome to the retail family. You are now a cashier—sorry, checkout operator. That feels much more important, doesn’t it?

The interview lasted only a couple of minutes, long enough for you to repeat what’s already on your résumé and fill out some tax forms. IQ tests? A bit of mental arithmetic? Surely not. You’ll be suggesting that they analyze your handwriting next. Need I remind you? You’re going to work at the checkout—you’re not being called to the Bar.

It’s only your first day, but you still have to prove your worth. So let’s get cracking. Time for training! Don’t worry: an old hand will take you under her wing for at least, I don’t know, a quarter of an hour? A morning if you’re lucky. Two days if your manager is nice. There are some nice managers; I promise. It’s just the luck of the draw.

Let’s start with a tour of the store. It won’t take long (besides, there are other things to be getting on with). There’s the locker room, the break room, the waste disposal area with the Dumpsters, where all the produce that’s past its sell-by date ends up—you’ll find you spend a lot of time here—the office where you’ll be given your cash drawer, and . . . well, that’s it.

Now you know enough about the store to get down to work. You’ll have plenty of time to explore your new workplace further during your breaks. It will make them more fun.

The first time you approach the register in your wonderful Chanel or Dior uniform or your hideous apron (depending on the store and the kind of customers that management wants to attract) with your cash drawer under your arm (the equivalent of several days’ salary, no less), you are bound to feel a bit intimidated. Take a deep breath. That feeling will pass.

So you’ve found your register, organized your cash drawer, and settled in. You’re really concentrating and really motivated. The old hand is beside you and you’re all ears. You’re ready to work. Not a moment too soon.

The main things to remember are: scan each item (with a quick glance to check that the price looks correct), add up the total, tell the customer, ask for a club card, take payment, ask for ID if necessary, give the customer his change, and give him the receipt—all with a nice, sincere smile. Then, Thank-you-have-a-nice-day, and on to the next customer. Shall I go through it again?

In the beginning, it might seem that you have to work fast—too fast—especially if you start on a busy day. But it’ll soon become automatic, and you won’t pay too much attention to what you’re doing. Within a month, it will seem as if you and your register are one.

***

Time has flown by and the old hand is giving you less and less advice. It’s all sinking in. You’re becoming an expert at scanning items and giving change. Well done! It’s really not that complicated; you just need to know what to do and when, and the rest comes

Reviews for Checkout Girl

[maggie1961-1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

When I first saw this book on net galley, I really wanted to read it. I have worked retail, mostly in a grocery store atmosphere for 30 years and I thought this book would have some funny stories about the life of retail and customers. Not so much. I could relate to some of it, I have some similar stories; I have seen pretty much everything you could imagine and things you couldn't begin to imagine and I could relate to the descriptions of some of the customers. What I couldn't relate to was the horrific writing style. Don't get me wrong, I love sarcasm but this was over the top and way, way too much. Many of the attempts at humour just started to get really old; it may have worked in a 3 page magazine article but in a book even this size, I was over it long before the book was finished. I didn't like the arrogant tone and not so funny humour attempts and found it to be very condescending towards people who are "checkout girls" making them seem like half brained idiots. While most of my career has been in a supervisor or manager capacity, I took offense to this and found it interesting that the market most likely to be interested in reading this book were the ones who were targeted as having a worthless job. I would give it a 1 1/2. I received this book free from net galley and the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

[fist_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

It's interesting to read about the supermarket experience from the cashier's point of view, for once. Don't expect any pity for harried clients with children who are trying to fit in the shopping chore in their busy Saturdays; all the pity is for the cashiers and the cashiers only (and when clients wipe their boogers on their shopping for the cashier to scan, who can blame them?). This book is based on a blog by the same author. Some blogs lose a lot of their quality when they are turned into books. The lack of a narrative makes for a halting reading experience, and the repetitions that provide a common thread in the blog posts become obtrusive when lined up in a book, especially if it's a slim volume like this one. This non-taxing read will only take you a few hours to get through, so it's ideal for an afternoon at the beach.

[kazimiera_1 · Rating: 2 out of 5 stars]

a great little book that i really enjoyed it brought back some memories of when i worked as a checkout girl a must read for anyone who has ever slaved over a till

[svh_mad · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

Loved it - got it sent free from the publishers and I have to admit I wasn't expecting much. A great read that doesn't require much thinking. If you're sick of chick lit but still want a giggle, this is the book. I read it in 5 hours (probably would've been 3 if I'd read it straight through).And if you think that working at the checkout is a piece of cake...think again.