Where the Tree Frogs Took Me

By Maia Williamson

How encounters with strangers shaped a life of travel and beyond~

We are all looking for ways to make our lives meaningful and often turn to those in our inner circles and communities for the direction. But what if that sense of meaning and perspective comes from complete strangers? And what if those random encounters were not so random after all? This book shows us how to embrace the messages and subsequent lessons we receive from the different people – often complete strangers – that we meet while out there in the world.

This collection of stories from over twenty years of travel shows what we can learn about the world we live in through greater empathy and understanding of the people we share it with. Each encounter we have, however, sad, humorous, strange or seemingly insignificant is part of the journey we are all on.

Where the Tree Frogs Took Me is for anyone who appreciates the diversity of the human experience and our reaction to it in all of its different forms. This book will resonate with people who are open to the notion of synchronicity and the significance of each encounter as meant to happen in order to create a change or shift in our lives.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Open Road Integrated Media
• Release date: Jan 11, 2020
• ISBN: 9781620069394

Book preview

Introduction

I’m not religious. It’s not that I don’t believe in God or ‘a’ God or several, but I don’t attribute the good or bad in my life to any deity, nor do I expect guidance or safety from one either. However, I’m not against people that do; truly I’m not. It’s just not for me, never has been. In some ways, I’m envious of people that have such blind faith or trust that something or someone out there is looking out for them, guiding them to a better path or greater life. Faith and belief are beautiful; I just can’t have either in something I can’t count on as real or curse at across a dinner table should I feel the need to.

It’s more than a belief in God that I can’t grasp; it has more to do with organized religion centered around a god. There are so many rules, so many do’s and don’ts, yet so many hypocrisies where people live by a certain set of standards in one part of their lives, but not in another. There is often this blind respect for God’s message of love and acceptance and kindness, but sometimes the greatest intolerance, divisiveness, and close-mindedness we see in society seems to come from people of a certain religion. And I’m not trying to beat around the bush by saying a certain religion. In fact, it can be any of them, many of them, all of them.

If there is a God out there, I don’t believe in divine intervention where he influences or interferes with any one person. I must admit, when people say, God saved me/guided me/healed me/helped me/was looking out for me, it leads to a bit of a head scratch for me. If that premise were true, one would have to conclude that he chose not to do all those things for other people—those who hurt, suffer, face marginalization, cruelty, discrimination, and the like. And that, my friends, is just too much for my heart to take.

Life is beautiful as is our planet and the diversity of its people, but it can be a pretty fucked up place. There is hurt and pain and oppression and division in contemporary society and history as well. So, if there is a God . . . what in God’s name (his own, I suppose) is he doing while shit below is all out of whack?

I do feel, however, that there is some higher power or powers out in the universe. There must be. How did we get here? Where did we come from? Who else could have created good coffee, the Canadian wilderness, the smell of lilacs, or Balinese sunsets? While I do believe in its/their/his/her power and purpose different than that of your typical religious zealot, I believe that there is a universal connectedness, a path laid out for all of us by some higher, spiritual . . . something. I don’t know what that power and purpose are, so I don’t put blind faith in it, yet I don’t write it off as nonexistent or insignificant either. Since I feel that there is a ‘something’ out there making the world spin and making us all move forward to varying degrees, I think how you interact with and receive it matters.

For me it’s all about the gut—that intuitive sweet spot within each of us and the inspiration for all those related idiomatic expressions: gut feelings, gut reactions, gut checks, gut instincts which can make you have guts or feel gutsy over something gut-wrenching that may make you want to rip your guts out, spill your guts or punch someone right in the gut. That.

I believe starting in the gut, at least in mine, there is a certain power, perhaps a certain connection to something out in the universe which guides me to see things in a certain way, make the decisions I do, and live my life by a certain code. If you think that sounds like a lot of mumbo-jumbo, I can’t disagree with you. Nevertheless, it’s how I feel about myself and my place in the world.

In the same vein, I don’t believe in luck. Not really. Yes, the phrase I’m so lucky has probably come out of my mouth umpteen times, but the concept of luck at its core is troubling to me. I acknowledge that I have many advantages over others for no good reason, which I’m sure someone would chalk up to luck. One’s birthplace or lineage or skin colour shouldn’t determine the quality of life, but it seems to the world over.

I live a life of privilege as a western white woman who can drive, vote, and speak my mind without castigation. I am from a middle-class background. I have had a plethora of educational opportunities afforded to me. And I am in complete control of my body, whether or not I marry and what career I choose. Yet I have also endured loss and gone through things I wouldn’t wish on anybody. Do I attribute those things to luck or a lack thereof? No, because if I believe in being lucky, then I have to believe some people are inherently unlucky, which would be rather distressing considering the suffering that so many people endure. And then there’s the question of who or what would determine whether we’d be lucky or not. See? It’s impossible to fathom. This isn’t like playing the lottery, but I’m sure for some people, it feels like they are walking around in a sea of lottery winners while they are drowning.

I can’t answer the question of why horrible things happen to innocent people or why my life’s troubles pale in comparison to others. I have thought at length how there can be systemic racism and poverty and child abuse and animal cruelty and wars and genocide and colonialism in a world where the vast majority don’t support any of these things. How have these things happened, and how are they still happening across much of the globe? I can’t reconcile any of that, so that’s where my skepticism of God comes from, along with his control of one’s destiny.

Perhaps things are just mapped out for each one of us by the universe. Perhaps we are all given a set of circumstances by some higher power or universal force for whatever reason, and how we internalize those circumstances and experiences and how we spit them back out to the world is what matters. Perhaps we each have a personal trajectory that is predetermined, and the only thing we can change or alter is our reaction to it. Now just because I believe in this doesn’t mean I’m all Zen and go-with-the-flow about everything. I’m a Type A, alpha, chronic planner, control freak type o’ gal, so letting things go for the universe to take over is near impossible for me. However, somewhere deep inside myself, I know that’s what I need to do.

My mum used to say that everything happens for a reason, and you can’t change events in your life. You simply react to them, which may be just as important as if you could. I never gave it much thought, but as an adult that (kinda) knows better now, I agree. This is where synchronicity comes in for me, perhaps not for you, perhaps not for the next guy, but me.

* * *

German psychologist Carl Jung first introduced the term synchronicity concerning paranormal activity in 1921, although it morphed into a general psychological theory that he thought was relevant to all people. Jung conceptualized that certain events in our lives have no causal relationship yet seem to be meaningfully related. He believed in a universal interconnectedness, a collective (un)consciousness, and the power of a universal spirit. He also thought after experiencing several such synchronicities; one can surmise that there is wisdom within them beyond that of our conscious knowledge.

Of course, there have been many critics of Jung’s theory and the notion of causality and connectedness. It has been seen as unscientific and speculative, passed off as intuition at best. Professor Charles Tart, in 1981, said the danger of synchronicity and causality is a temptation to mental laziness. Thus, chalking up poignant events and experiences as being synchronistic prevents any attempt to understand them further.

Synchronicity is often confused with the ideas of chance or serendipity. However, it is neither of these. At least not to me. Chance factors in the probability of something occurring, which smells a lot like mathematics and brings back memories of high school math class and the research I did in graduate school, (insert shutter here). Serendipity, which is probably most commonly confused with synchronicity, is more about accidentally discovering something and is based on a belief of luck or good fortune or coincidence. Synchronicity, however, shares the randomness of these other definitions, but when something noteworthy occurs, it is far from meaningless or accidental and not always seen as good fortune or a blessing. Maybe it happens because it was supposed to.

Hassine Saidane, the founder of Optimal Data Science, talked about synchronicity and decision-making and focused on the significance of the experience as being personal in nature: something happening outside [which] resonates with something already inside, that seems beyond or in defiance of probabilities, that’s amazing and makes our heads spin and wonder. Denise Lynn, a spiritual lecturer and healer, said, in every moment, the universe is whispering to you. You’re constantly surrounded by signs, coincidences, and synchronicities—all aimed at propelling you in the direction of your destiny. And my favourite is from self-development leader Wayne Dyer who calls synchronicity a collaborative arrangement with fate.

I’m by no means a new age guru, and I promise you I am nearing the end of my spiritual dive into mysticism and the mind. Nonetheless, I feel it’s important to establish what I believe about my place in the world, my encounters and how we all may benefit from seeing the synchronicity in our experiences.

I wrote this book because I discovered during my travels, I’m drawn to people who seem to be put in my path to teach me a lesson or show me something to contribute to my life positively, even if the experience doesn’t seem to be in the moment. In fact, I believe all our encounters—especially those with people we have no history with and who are different from us—are meant to happen to create a change or shift in our lives.

Synchronicity among strangers occurs everywhere, not just travel. I’ve chosen to write about it from a travel perspective, not just because I love to travel, but because I’ve experienced it with many people all over the world. I have had synchronic feelings with people on my own, but there’s something remarkable about feeling the notion of connectedness with strangers across the globe, where things such as language and culture and daily life are so different from everything you know in your own life. And yet, the encounter matters.

* * *

We live in a world that promotes isolation in many respects. We rely on technology and social media that allows for it, even nurtures it. When I was young, I had to knock on a friend’s door or call them from my rotary telephone to communicate. Oh, the struggle. Now, I can text someone without ever using my voice or a complete sentence to get my message out.

We are bombarded with messages about spirituality from within and how inner peace can be achieved through self-help resources, solo retreats, and pursuing a career that allows us to work remotely. Ask any regular traveller how many times in the past five years he or she has met someone who uses the term ‘digital nomad’ to describe themselves and wait for the mother of all eye rolls by everyone in earshot. They’re everywhere.

I’m all for self-discovery and introspection, solo travel, and shedding the routine nine to five; however, I don’t abide by this isolationist theory of life lived alone is better, certainly not concerning travel.

For me, the going alone part of travel is about the freedom and independence to do what I want, when I want, without having to cater to someone else’s time frame and agenda, being still in my thoughts and lost in my adventure. And silence. However, I’m a social person too, so I agree that even for the consummate solo traveller like myself, there is something extraordinary about meeting other people, thriving on the connections, and allowing them to work their mojo on you.

Ruth Whippman, author of America the Anxious: How Our Pursuit of Happiness Is Creating a Nation of Nervous Wrecks, writes in a 2017 New York Times article Happiness Is Other People that in an individualistic culture powered by self-actualization, the idea that happiness should be engineered from the inside out, rather than the outside in, has taken on the status of a default truism. This is happiness framed as a journey of self-discovery, rather than the natural by-product of engaging with the world; a happiness that stresses emotional independence rather than interdependence . . . Maybe, just maybe that self-discovery can still be about the self and personal growth, but it emerges after meaningful experiences are had, and connections are made.

I’ve had so many amazing travel experiences that have not made it into this book. Nevertheless, the collection of stories I’ve put together here is to show people that the sum of your experiences while travelling can steer you in different directions, can influence your way of thinking, and can lead to an incredible life. I also hope to highlight the beauty of humanity and diversity across our planet. We live in divisive times where global mobility and technology have expanded our reach of the world but diminished it at the same time. Our world is polarized, unfortunately politicized, and suffused with fear and a lack of tolerance because of the unknown or rather misinterpreted — the other.

Famed author Elizabeth Gilbert once said, I am not afraid of the world, but I am afraid of people who are afraid of the world. I couldn’t agree more. Not only should we try to see as much of it as possible, but we should also embrace everything and everyone that reflects its uniqueness. Where else does growth come from?

A disclaimer before you dive in: I don’t know if it’s all meant to happen. To you. To me. To any of us. I don’t know if every encounter I’ve had can be attributed to my version of synchronicity. However, I can tell you I’ve had some of the most incredible experiences of my life with people across the world. As a result, I have made many monumental decisions in my life because of those momentous encounters. So much of my worldview has been shaped by what other people have taught me, inadvertently or otherwise. I hope, through this book, you will come up with your own answer to whether synchronicity exists. I also hope this collection of travel stories encourages you to go out there to at least see if it does.

CHAPTER 1

Creepy Cabdriver

My first ever trip abroad was a week-long spring break trip to Cancun at the know-it-all age of sixteen. I had never been on a plane before, and I soon realized that I didn’t like it so much. As the plane took off, my hands were clammy, mouth dry, stomach-churning. My friends and I were all excited, and in typical teenage fashion, we gabbed and giggled in small groups scattered around the plane. I wondered if anyone else was concealing a fear of flying and an even greater fear of what the physical ramifications could look like at any moment. Perhaps all over the seat in front of me. As my stomach flipped and flopped with even the smallest amount of turbulence, I did my best to power through it for the sake of the camaraderie, for I knew it was fleeting. How many first flights do you get with over a dozen friends destined for your first real vacation sans parental supervision?

On the shuttle bus from the airport, the excitement among the group was palpable. Looking back decades later, we were so deserving of that time, so innocent. And I don’t mean innocent in the true sense of the word because most of us certainly were not. We would get up to plenty of no good that week, which makes me shake my head as I recall it even now. However, it was innocent because it was our first taste of freedom. The anticipation mixed with naiveté and fearlessness is a genuine mix of feelings I think every teenager should experience growing up