Ethereal Revelations - Volume I: Access to Another Dimension

By Lizelle DuPlessis

“Ethereal Revelations - Volume I” is a moving account of how Lizelle, at the end of pregnancy, discovered another side to sex: a spiritual side. By starting to see the heavenly results of sex, set off the ability to see—a privilege with a cost—the entire spiritual realm, as contained in forthcoming volumes. In “Ethereal Revelations - Vol I: Access to Another Dimension” the cost is prepaid via a traumatizing infidelity incident with devastating protracted aftermath, causing a bizarre soul position that makes susceptibility to peculiar spiritual occurrences possible. Undesirable ethereal revelations, surface. Many poignant discussions, on appropriate-sexual-behavior-re-social-implication secrets as evoked, follow; contributing to opening more channels. “Volume I” starts this extraordinary journey in giving access to another dimension. Patient, open-minded and enlightened readers, in search of a different kind of spirituality, the truth about the incorporeal world and supreme spirituality, will be overawed.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Jan 1, 2016
• ISBN: 9781329789647

Book preview

Ethereal Revelations - Volume I: Access to Another Dimension

Ethereal Revelations - Volume I

Access to Another Dimension

Lizelle Du Plessis

Copyright

Copyright © 2010 by Lizelle Du Plessis

Front Cover Art © by Lizelle Du Plessis

All rights reserved.

No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

Fictitious names for the children in this book were used to protect their rights, privacy and identities.

ISBN-13: 978-1-329-78964-7

http://www.lizelleduplessis.com/

http://www.EtherealRevelations.com/

Published by Lulu Press

3101 Hillsborough Street, Raleigh, North Carolina 27607

Library of Congress Control Number

2012901382

First Published in 2010 ISBN: 0557400589 | ISBN-13: 9780557400584(Paperback)

ISBN-13: 978-1-105-53479-9 (Paperback) 2012

ISBN-10: 1-105-53479-0

ISBN-13: 978-1-329-78985-2 (Paperback)

ISBN: 978-1-300-99872-3 (Hardcover) 2012

ISBN-10: 1-300-99872-5

ISBN: 978-1-329-78794-0 (Hardcover)

ISBN: 978-1-300-99877-8 (eBook) 2012

ISBN: 978-1-329-78964-7 (eBook)

ISBN: 978-1-105-47917-5 (PDF) 2012

Tantamount Edition

Acknowledgments

I’m totally grateful to my two young sons, who’ve been my inspiration, my comfort and the most important factor in writing this book. Thank you for all your patience and understanding.

I wish to thank my life-partner for all the input, assistance and kindness he has given me, which aided in the creation of this book.

To Alina, for awakening so many things in me, I’d like to thank you for your contribution and selfless help during the most difficult times that inspired this material.

My friend Wendy, a special word of thanks for your advice and personal assistance that aided in creating this final product. You are a friend in a league of your own.

Madeleen, a special word of thanks to you, for being an important factor in creating this material, mainly because you listened to me and never said I was crazy. Your friendship is highly cherished.

Rebecca, I acknowledge your loyalty and compassion. Your assistance, good ear and conversations helped me in this time of need. Thank you so much.

To all my other friends and acquaintances, some unknowingly participating, who aided in the creation of this book, many thanks for being a part of my life and for your input.

My humblest gratitude to our Creator for all the revelations, even though I didn’t understand them or the reason for their existence, I was tremendously enlightened by them too.

Introduction

Ethereal life is incredibly unobtrusive. We have to live a certain lifestyle, have attained spiritual advancement, be blessed with the gift or else go through severe traumatic incidences, in line with the individual’s life-journey, thus forcing growth to become unusually sensitive. Unusual sensitivity creates the ability to directly come in contact with ethereal encounters—to see beyond the physical realm into the unseen realm. Beyond-excessive sensitivity also provides the opportunity to learn even more than is already known about the invisible realm, as well as about our own ethereal existence.

What if something so extraordinary happened to you, something that altered you and your mindset completely, to such an extent, you just had to share it with others, the whole world if possible? Well, this is exactly what happened to me.

My story, in personal-narrative format, involves the life-changing events that took place and started when I was emotionally unprotected, at my most vulnerable and sensitive, unaware that it was possible to become more sensitive. No vague statements and claims are made, so please keep an open mind.

Contained in Volume I, as with the forthcoming volumes, I have tried to the best of my ability, as my memory would allow and as close to reality as I could, to provide and portray a true replica of everything that happened.

Please take into account that all things contained in this book, just happened and wasn’t something I asked for, planned, intended to happen, wanted to happen, worked toward or had control over.

An alternate awakening and insight was forced upon me, at this point in time of my existence, in such a way that it caused me to be stuck in a peculiar state of mind with an unusual vulnerability. This resulted in the inability to offer resistance in receiving these much more advanced and higher-level ethereal revelations that spontaneously unfolded.

Because I felt I wasn’t ready and geared for these things to happen, I would have preferred that they hadn’t happened to me and also preferred that they didn’t exist. The choice, however, wasn’t mine to make; they simply happened, no matter my readiness. It would have been easier to continue my life in a less conscious way, believing I could make choices as I used to that sidestep rules and/or commandments; the way it was before, oblivious of these occurrences taking place in the spiritual realm.

All along reading, you’ll understand to what extent an already enlightened person needs to be traumatized, which is not difficult, being sensitive already, allowing a higher level of awakening to take place, in order to grow further in consciousness.

Besides having depicted the supernatural encounters that took place during this time, which immediately, as soon as the tragedy struck, commenced; although without me grasping what was taking place, I’ve also detailed the level of misery, unhappiness, confusion, suffering and bereavement, I went through. This type of prolonged distress was the only way extended growth could be forced upon me that forms a part of the process to bring about supreme consciousness expansion. Encountering these lowest of low emotions caused an automatic jump to a more advanced level of consciousness than usual.

A much higher and different consciousness level was reached than is known or generally achieved with ordinary meditation, high enough to come in contact with the spiritual encounters I did. This is something that unfortunately is not achievable with happiness, fun and good times present, since this type of growth doesn’t take place when feeling good. Feeling good is a rest period. To add, en route I had to suffer much and long, every second of every day, continuously thinking that this was never-ending, not knowing that there was an end-goal behind it all. I say this, because many people think, this happens or could be achieved overnight, but I now know better!

Although the long-drawn-out sadness and fluctuating emotions were severe and intense; all the occurrences had to go together, as part of this process, to achieve the desired results. And even though I give a detailed description of my emotional state throughout, having the accompanying knowledge from the spiritual events is more important, as I believe these revelations are imperative to one and all.

This book, Volume I, is about my first acquaintance with the spiritual implications and consequence of sex that is brought about by an incident of infidelity that causes such profound trauma that it knocked me out of my body. As in forthcoming volumes, this eventually results in seeing the entire spiritual realm and how it functions, but starts with seeing the spiritual manifestations of sex first, albeit they are all related.

On your journey with me, you will learn, as I did when encountering these events, that sex creates spiritual manifestations beyond our control. Although there are those keenly in search of spiritual progress—interested and serious about obtaining new spiritual insight and information—I realize that many wouldn’t want to know that sex has an influence on our spiritual beings, just like many wouldn’t want to know that we cannot merely live our life the way it pleases us without any boundaries and consequences. Hence, as contained in these chronicles, I provide proof with my experiences that sex has an influence on our spiritual beings.

Not only did I write this material to depict the spiritual attachments and other manifestations sex brings about, the spiritual outcome of each of our actions and later on everything in the spiritual realm, but I also wrote the chronicles for people to understand the level of pain I had experienced that enabled me to see and encounter this spiritual phenomenon.

In short, many believe we can live without penalty and that popping a pill or taking other shortcuts, inasmuch as taking shortcuts regarding the physical, emotional, mental, religious or spiritual, would miraculously fix self-created problems, in which case others are given the responsibility to deal with the consequences of our own bad actions and/or behavior. Luckily, we have unfamiliar, well-known and even famous educational coaches worldwide, to say nothing of spiritual or religious teachers, who make us aware that every action and behavior has an effect on our physical, mental and spiritual welfare, and that prevention is the answer, as it is hard work to treat those self-created results, since there is no cure once serious harm or damage has been caused.

As it happens, we cannot really consume, do or say whatever we want, and neither can we treat ourselves and/or others the way we want to, without consequences that prevent progress and a better life, here or hereafter.

The universe or non-visible existence, however, was my preceptor in showing me vividly through revelations that sex, in actual fact, has an impact, a serious bearing for that matter, on our spiritual beings. These things happen, even if we believe in them or not and also whether a person can see them or not. And although humans aren’t naturally monogamous, as per the law of nature, other things happen in the unseen. Therefore, it was demanded that we (humans), unlike animals, don’t engage in licentiousness (sexual promiscuity) and unfaithfulness, since we’re capable of being intellectually in control of our actions and have emotional structures, not to mention our spiritual beings, that need protection.

These chronicles start with the events that led to becoming aware that sex creates soul attachments, as contained in Volume I, progressing into more and other forms of soul-couplings, soul-alteration and soul-contamination that change our authentic—originally pure or unmixed—energy and ultimately result in the creation of our own trap of rebirth, as contained in the other volumes. The direct effect of sex on our souls that leads to many automatic, yet undesirable consequences, which influence our overall all-encompassing physical, emotional and most importantly spiritual well-being, is depicted throughout.

Never in my life did I think sex or something relating to sex, a low-consciousness-level activity and experience, would be the medium to show me everything on the obscure side, such an important issue, for me to see and understand the entire existence—original life—in the other dimension, but it was. Although I suffered much in the process, I saw it all!

You will further discover that it is possible to be affected by betrayal, as with any severe traumatic occurrence, surfacing as abnormally painstaking and unexplained misery, in such a way that the soul, as an occupant of a body, is shifted from its original position to assume a new position. The trauma, confusion and suffering caused by unconscious fools not knowing and unaware of what their foolish, senseless, unethical and devastating actions, particularly sexual actions, do to all the souls involved, especially the innocent victim’s soul, in this instance, used by the universe (non-visible existence) to enlighten us, I’ve detailed as best I could.

The role betrayal, in any form, but especially the role sexual betrayal plays in our souls’ existence, welfare and journey on a certain level toward utmost spiritual enlightenment and advancement; I make clear in these chronicles.

Anyone, who has dealt with some form of deceit and especially infidelity, knows and can testify as to how totally devastating, even mortifying it is, more so if the victim is already a sensitive, caring and enlightened person. Moreover, all of us have our own unique reaction when dealing with a psychological trauma, which I didn’t know I was suffering from, for quite a while until it was professionally identified, defined and classified. My way of dealing with distress, is to inspect and figure out everything in the finest detail, to have a problem resolved, repaired and set right as quickly as possible.

To mention, I always thought infidelity just happened and that one has to deal with it in case it happens, but having gone through it again, I realized, when I ascertained in the spiritual realm why the victim has such a severe reaction, that it has to be prevented at all cost and it doesn’t just happen by chance. Actually, we do have control over it. Only now, years later, I can see the bigger picture and understand why infidelity was used on me to gain this insight.

It is said that sex changes everything, but no-one really knows why and neither did I. Now it is possible for us to clearly understand the unseen result.

Albeit a detailed account, Volume I is only the start of our journey together to eventually get to a level where seeing into the heart, the core, of all that is, was achieved and how I was able to eventually see everything in all the heavens beyond the physical, including the Source of all existence; also, our earth’s position in relation to heaven and to the Supreme Spirit. Other forms of physical existence and their positions, besides Earth’s, are also discussed. This will get you to understand everything about our existence; understand whatever it is we’re doing here; how it is possible for some souls to have incarnated hundreds or thousands of times; know about the destruction we ultimately inflict upon ourselves and how we jeopardize or sabotage ourselves as spiritual beings.

In the editions to follow, I disclose more ethereal revelations as they became visible to me throughout my journey of suffering and intense misery from the Miscellaneous Paraphernalia of Healing Methodologies contained in Ethereal Revelations - Volume II, escalating in intensity to the way the heavens opened up, for me to see the entire existence in the initial dimension. In forthcoming volumes, I also give a complete description of where we, as souls, come from and how we could get back the right way, the definition of getting back and also how we, the ones with souls, and sex, also the spiritual manifestations of sex, love and vows, fit into the world unseen.

What's more, I depict my extensive discoveries made regarding romantic love, the issues surrounding true love with these unseen manifestations and the possible inability for some to experience certain types of love. In actual fact, we need to learn everything about love: what love really is and what it is not, but more importantly how to display love correctly.

You will discover why we need to be humble, what humbleness truly is and the concept around being humble, and why I believe I should have departed this life during my near-death encounter.

Derived from my understanding and experiences of what we do and how we prevent ourselves from achieving an advanced position in heaven, spiritual upgrade and the ultimate level of consciousness, I relay the specifics thereof through my chronicles.

In the forthcoming volumes, I share broadly in detail the copious discoveries I’ve made about my own soul’s journey, position, welfare and destiny, to help everyone determine their own position and destiny in the unseen realm and in the afterlife. Therein, I also reveal my own current heavenly position after this life, should I pass at this moment and should I not advance or take the things that happened to me, contained in these chronicles, seriously. My experiences will ultimately help you to clearly understand all individuals’ current heavenly position and purpose in the creation; also see and clearly understand for yourself where you should be, what to do to better your position and what conduct causes the opposite.

In your mind’s eye, after reading the forthcoming volumes, you will eventually be able to not only visualize your own position in heaven, once undoubtedly knowing and understanding what heaven (the entire spiritual realm) looks like, not just the part we know about and call heaven. You will also be able to attach each physical activity to a distinct spiritual outcome, and might even see it clearly, stemming from the way you’ve lived your life, documented in your subconscious.

Having gone through everything with me, in the end it will be completely clear how beneficial these revealed facts and realities are to you, to all of us, in every possible way, even for financial gain and freedom.

The key constituent is to drop down emotionally as low as possible, rock bottom if possible, and stay there as long as possible, if able to bear, which automatically happened to me, although forced on me by circumstance. In my case, the events brought about negative emotions and even trying to deal with them, kept me way down, which you need to do with me, to understand and gain the same insight. If you want to know how I was able to grow to this level of consciousness, you have to understand the level of misery, what rock-bottom in this instance means, by reading through and sharing in everything I went through. Even my continuous nitpicking about what might seem irrelevant, in an attempt to determine the reason behind everything, holds significance. This, I first had to accomplish, to eventually be able to rise above it all, which I, in the long-run, managed to achieve and have even risen way above a high level of consciousness, all without ego while being supremely humble.

Although I was unable to understand what was happening to me, Ethereal Revelations, the chronicles, is about the occurrences, recollections, epiphanies, realizations and revelations of new knowledge, and not about self-understanding or beliefs. The spiritual realm, in any case, doesn’t work the way we want it to, to understand or make sense of it. These chronicles are about revealing the spiritual world in its entirety that started in a peculiar way, as in Ethereal Revelations - Volume I.

Through my pain, I gained the most mind-boggling insight of all time. My insight didn’t come cheap. The price I’ve paid to obtain it, I feel, was too high, having altered me, but if you’re prepared to go through it with me, you will gain it too.

To publicize my most intimate and humiliating private-family-life indiscretions is not in my nature and leaves me very uncomfortable. These ethereal revelations, however, surpasses everything and are of grave enough importance and value, justifying to be shared. The reason being, they lead to the highest form of spiritual knowledge and growth, exceeding all other forms of enlightenment.

This awakening to the ultimate truth about sex is the last factor that would stop the cycle of rebirth or prevent eternal life, as many understand it, once clearly understood in accordance with my all-encompassing depictions.

To me personally, from what I’ve seen and experienced, sex is the ultimate element in preventing the so-called eternal life, as it alters the original state of a soul. And it is sad that this isn’t made clear in the scriptures, the way I had experienced it. Furthermore, eternal life is not at all what we believe it to be. I make known in chronological form my sightings regarding the spiritual realm, which is nothing like the things I’ve heard of or that was written in the scriptures, starting the way everything began for me with the spiritual consequence of sex—spiritual effects of sex on our souls. And yes, we do have souls and there is a post-physical existence, but not at all the way doctrine was and is inculcated by religious people and institutions to brainwash, condition and program us, the way it supposedly is.

It is near impossible to change someone’s beliefs, let alone change an ingrained belief, mostly religious beliefs, embedded in a person since birth, as was the case with me. If a person believes something is a certain way, it is almost unachievable to change that belief, even with proof. The universe had to pull out all the stops by implementing severe pain and grief to get me to see everything on the other side; otherwise I would probably still have believed the afterlife is the generally accepted heaven, as was instilled in me and as I’ve come to imagine. Here, seeing is believing.

During and after my encounters, it was intriguing to me though, that some say they’ve seen heaven and have even been to heaven. However, I had to question why these haven’t shared this vital sexual data—effects on our spiritual beings—with us, as they should have seen what I’ve seen or something similar at least. Now only, I understand that to see the complete heaven or what we understand heaven to be, and everything in it, in detail, not just in part, one also sees what I’ve seen, which is so utterly life-changing; it creates the need, an almost unnatural drive, to share it all with the purpose of a constructive outcome.

Although the majority of the content in these chronicles is about the result of sex in the spiritual realm, my recount of events cannot really be defined as being only about one specific topic, as it is not only about the spiritual outcome of sex, which is why I didn’t name these chronicles Sex in the Spiritual as I originally wanted to. It is also not only about what happens in the other dimension while we’re still in physical form, about dealing with infidelity, having had a near-death encounter, having had small supernatural encounters, or even about having had a glimpse of heaven. My chronicle of events is much more, therefore the title Ethereal Revelations. It is about everything I saw and experienced when I, my soul, was in an abnormal location for years after my near-death encounter, what caused me to end up in that position and kept me there for such a protracted time-span, the feelings I experienced throughout, forgotten knowledge I had been provided with that I started recalling and vastly broadened sightings.

It’s also about the outcome for our future and how we determine our future in the hereafter, whether it be progressing or regressing plus the definitions and clarification of such. Once the verity of having lived with being deceived, not knowing it was a part of my life, surfaced, and this truth set me free, allowing me to make informed choices, I could move on. Hence, these chronicles end with the understanding of our original existence in spiritual form; a detailed look and description of life on the other side and reason for physical life. All these, aforementioned, are an attempt on my part to help with evolvement by creating awareness for individuals who truly want to advance.

For a seemingly endless time, I couldn’t understand why I hadn’t died after all my encounters and the revelations I had gone through, as people usually cross over when seeing and experiencing the things I did. My mission, stemming from action I had taken before this life to earn me my last life, which I also cover thoroughly, had obviously not been fulfilled yet. It just goes to show that a person’s path is laid out and will be enforced if one deviates from it. In fact, the universe will go to any lengths to enforce a mission or keep one on track in making sure that a desired outcome materializes. That is just the way it is. Life, after all, is not about what we want; as what we want doesn’t necessarily cause us to advance where it really matters!

The mightily important wisdom and reality I’ve gained through this process, after having lived through everything: a vow is a heavenly created obligation in motion that only ends when fully completed. Other insights I have procured from this saga that I can share confidently, are: our actions in the physical realm determine our spiritual position in the afterlife; our frequency, stemming from our inherent beliefs, determines our future life; how we leave this life, determines how we enter the next life.

Having seen extraordinarily much and after having encountered excessive suffering, I now, years later, realize why a person, able to astral travel or the one who survived the typical near-death encounter, is unable to see what I’ve seen. Although everything that happened to me has altered me for life, seeing that I have a completely different personality and cannot listen to the radio or even music while driving anymore, I now, more normal and not stuck in the sadness anymore, understand why the suffering was necessary and why these things happened to me over such a long period of time.

Some of my friends, old and new, couldn’t understand why I merely wouldn’t visit anymore or when I became acquainted with new people, even recently, I would simply cut off any form of communication and interaction. Especially new friends made, I couldn’t visit with, as their energy was too exciting for me to handle, still dealing with the aftereffects of what had happened to me and protecting my own life-force.

Only now, many years after having had these encounters, I realize why I had them and why they were revealed in this particular order, launching the journey as depicted in this book; continuing the sequence by the successive editions, which is also the way I normally share in conversation with others, to advance the same way I did.

My reason for producing this material is to ultimately help everyone know about these manifestations, and gain insight into that which I myself didn’t even know exist, despite them taking place automatically. Because I care so much about the welfare and destiny of all our souls, I share this last element for us superior beings to understand the result sex plus other actions have on our individual spiritual beings, and to properly grasp the existence process in heaven through my depictions, the way it was chronologically revealed to me. This is my way of honoring my undertaking, taken on prior to this life, before I permanently depart.

Sincerely, I trust these revelations will be an eye-opener and as enlightening to you, the way they were to me. Writing, I have to admit, contributed in my healing process.

The cover of each volume comes in a different color, representing a different part of heaven. Although properly clarified in a successive volume, the color of this one represents the first heaven.

When I started writing this book, I had already had so many paranormal encounters, including higher-level supernatural encounters, documented in my manuals with proper illustrations in e-book format, caused and triggered by the pivotal events contained in this book. These manuals will become available for download in future.

To refresh, Volume I only detail the start of everything and not everything that happened in its entirety.

Via my books, I attempt to provide as much knowledge about our spiritual beings, nonphysical existence and the entire ethereal world as possible. If you have esoteric knowledge and being in the know, which I’m trying to provide through these chronicles, you can make the right choices to have salvation and understand the meaning of saving yourself, once you understand the true meaning of eternal life.

All shared revelations and spiritual encounters are important for consideration, to ultimately learn, grow and gain from. So, let the journey begin.

Love to you!

Chapter 1: Disturbing Nudges

With my heart pounding in my throat, I woke up. Drowsy and confused as to why I had woken up, since it was still exceptionally dark, I turned and stretched to grab hold of the clock on the triangular bedside table. Keeping my finger on the button for the light to display the time, I tried to get my eyes to focus. It was almost 1:20 a.m., August 24, 2003.

Something must be wrong with me. I feel terrible, and I only slept for a few minutes, I whispered to myself as quietly as possible in the dark while determining my current state with my hands.

In an attempt to feel better, I sat up, but that didn’t work, so I lay down again, which was even worse.

What on earth is going on with you? I asked myself in hushed tone, feeling inexplicably anxious; driven by hypertension to get up hastily. Maybe the baby is coming and my over-excitement-of-having-this-baby is what I’m experiencing, I thought as I stood still to stabilize myself.

Heading for the bedroom door, permeated with a sudden unsettling feeling as if something bad was waiting behind the closed door, I turned the round knob and opened it. The passage was dark. Only moonlight shone through the guest bedroom’s open door and lit the passageway ever so slightly, just enough for me to see where I was going.

Feeling my way down the passage with one hand on the wall, the other holding my pregnant belly, gasping for air, I stumbled toward the lounge. At the T-junction of the passage, I turned right and stopped. From where I was standing, I saw, through the opening in the wall leading into the lounge, a silhouette in an upright kneeling position on the edge of the mattress that was lying on the floor of the lounge.

Without hesitation, I headed straight for the lounge where I had spotted the silhouette. It was the silhouette of my life-partner. In no way had it occurred to me that he might not be alone. I came to a halt, waiting for a response when I reached my highly surprised life-partner, who only realized I was present when he heard me say behind him, I need help. I don’t feel well.

The moment I said my first word, he took a blanket, lying next to his hand, and hastily threw it over the mattress while getting up. Despite his efforts, I had already seen the blonde that was now underneath the blanket.

My body, in total and utter shock from my sudden discovery at that juncture, couldn’t relay the message to my brain that he wasn’t alone, numbing me from top to toe. Even while trying, I wasn’t able to control my behavior and divert from being unresponsive: expressionless and passive, although feeling an immediate angst rise inside me.

When my mind made the connection that he wasn’t alone, which took several seconds, my whole being went into a mode of denial, causing me to appear and become even more unresponsive, although not at all what I was experiencing inside.

Are you fucking her? I asked, discombobulated, but stunned at myself for asking such a question in this way, albeit stooping to their disrespectful and destructive level of consciousness and activity. Being an educated person with a large enough vocabulary not needing to use power-language to express myself this way, I was thrown by my own behavior. Although my question might have been an unconscious attempt on my part to get him to snap out of it, the words just came by themselves, uncontrolled and unexpected, probably unconsciously matching the energy of their act.

Shockingly, he didn’t reply, as if he was under some sort of spell.

I really don’t feel well, I murmured anxiously and short of breath, unable to add any form of emotion or expression to it. I need help.

How do you feel? he asked coldly; hardly audible.

I can’t breathe and I have severe heart palpitations, I replied fighting for breath, absent-mindedly following him to the kitchen where he turned on the light, having left the motionless blonde behind.

I’ll give you some of those homeopathic drops you took yesterday, he suddenly suggested.

In the pantry, he searched a bit, but couldn’t find the homeopathic medicine on their usual spot. He turned around, walked through the kitchen and opened the back door without saying anything.

I wonder what the hell he is up to and what he thinks is going to be left of our relationship after catching him in the act this way, I whispered to myself, in an attempt to register my current situation and location, holding on to the island in the kitchen for support. Am I dreaming? my mind questioned.

Listening with arched ears, I tried to establish if I could hear movement or any form of sound coming from the lounge through the service-opening in the wall, situated between the kitchen and dining-room. It was dead quiet and abnormally still, even in the passage that leads to the rest of the house.

To the contrary, I could hear all the noises coming from our Volkswagen Microbus, as he was scrambling around in it.

Mental analysis hijacked my mind: Why doesn’t he say something? Why doesn’t he do something? Why doesn’t he at least apologize? It is as if I’m not even present—as if I didn’t, in spite of everything, catch him out, red-handed! What is happening here? Why doesn’t he ask permission, at least?

Suddenly, I heard him slam the VW-Microbus’s sliding door and moments later his footsteps, as he entered at the back door. He put his attaché case down on the floor of the kitchen beside me, next to the island, conveniently placed not to look up or at me. He opened the flap at the top, stuck his hand inside and pulled out two amber bottles of the homeopathic drops I had taken the past few days when not feeling well.

Why did he take my medication with him to the studio? a thought ran past my consciousness, but I was too distressed to actually ask him why the homeopathic medicine was with him and not in the pantry where it ought to have been.

He got up, opened the drawer next to him on the other side, pulled out a plastic teaspoon and tried to pour a few drops into it. This bottle was obviously empty. Next, he tried the second bottle, poured out the recommended 10 drops and handed it to me without saying anything. He continued looking down while I had my eyes fixed on him.

Nausea had set in on top of the difficulty of breathing, attributable to the kick in the teeth of his vulgar activity, and I gagged a little after swallowing the liquid from the teaspoon he had presented me with. Although I didn’t know I was psychologically traumatized, unable to think and act rationally, I still couldn’t get myself to respond differently. Torn between wanting to smack him and hoping he would make the right decision by choosing his family rather than immoral conduct, I couldn’t take any form of action. I actually wanted him to recognize the situation on his own and take action by choosing me, but he didn’t and neither could I get myself to say something.

He turned around, exited the kitchen while hitting the light switch and walked down the passage, leaving me behind in darkness.

Moments later, in astonishment, I found myself following him.

At the end of the corridor he turned right and right again, entering the short passage leading to the guest bathroom, but opened the guest toilet’s door on his left, before reaching the bathroom.

Standing silently at my closed bedroom door, I watched his actions as he went into the lavatory—my body severely in around-the-clock shock from my most recent discovery.

What now? I asked aloud, which was all that I could get out, while my mind impulsively scanned through millions of thoughts in confusion, to come up with explanations and solutions.

He didn’t say a word.

After having waited awhile for something to happen, or for him to take some form of lead, I opened the bedroom door and entered slowly when nothing happened.

He’s like a zombie, I thought utterly rattled along with contracting my brow. In dismay I shook my head. Little did I realize that even though I didn’t experience it that way internally, my own behavior was equally odd: similar to apathy.

Before I could close the bedroom door, I heard him flush the toilet, but I wasn’t ready to face him yet. I knew he had to deal with the situation he had created, on his own.

What in the world is going on with him? I whispered mystified, out of my mind with uncertainty, shock and perplexity, still unable to make sense of the situation. Hope he knows he has changed everything between us, forever!

As I sat on the edge of the bed, the heart palpitations started again, and the chest pain persisted.

Those drops did nothing, I whispered again, gently hitting my chest with my fist. This time it was severe, as if something had been ripped from inside of me. I clenched my chest, but the tension I was experiencing was too severe to get up and go back to ask for help again. Furthermore, I wanted to give him time to set right his misconduct by sending her to her own bed, since that was what I thought he was going to do.

Nothing I tried, worked: standing up, lying down, or sitting up. I was really in a bad way by then, even thought I was dying.

How did they end up in a sexual situation? I questioned with restrained vocal sounds, getting up again and afterward muttered to myself over and over in no particular order while pacing up and down in front of my side of the bed. I left them in the kitchen just less than thirty minutes ago, and she didn’t seem interested in him. He was definitely not into her, since they, both of them, told me massively excited how well the match-dance went, held at the studio. I was the one who said, ‘I’m off to bed,’ leaving them standing there. He even said that he was extremely tired, his feet were excruciatingly sore and added that he wanted to get to bed straight after he had finished his coffee. I definitely heard them continue their discussion about the match-dance when I left, there is no doubt. She is a guest at my home. Why would she do such a thing? This changes everything, but luckily I was in time, considering they haven’t had intercourse yet.

Once again, I tried to lie down, still clenching my chest, but the tears wouldn’t come. The shock of what he tried to do was exceedingly overpowering and the aching in my chest, much too severe.

When I finally decided to go for help again, I was in very bad shape: trembling and sweating. My nervous-system had instinctively reacted to my shaken-up state, yet my mind—my conscious mind—couldn’t get my body to respond to take any form of action. In disbelief, I even thought my body had overreacted and that things weren’t as bad as they seemed. So, I inhaled a few times to collect myself a little bit, in preparation to go and investigate what was happening on the other side of the door—an attempt on my part to resolve the necessary.

First, I checked the clock. It was 2:00 a.m. Next, I forced myself off the bed.

He probably cleared up everything and chased Melissa back to her own bed by now! I, a little optimistic, reassured myself in a subdued whisper.

Melissa shared the other guest bedroom with Glynn, the area CEO of the franchise business we owned.

This time, I turned the knob of the bedroom door confidently and opened it, unlike before, first touching it several times, unsure of whether I had to go to the lounge or not—the anxiety less and me calmer.

Walking down the dark passage, I heard the sexual-moaning of a female. Shaken to the nth degree, I couldn’t believe it; they were actually having sex.

Within a split second, the natural security stemming from trust between two life-partners, as well as the happiness, good feelings, harmony and serenity I had experienced, were all erased. My life—our harmonious lives—spoiled. Together with the comprehension of what they were doing, the anxiety, worse than before, was back and stayed there from that moment on.

Her sexual moaning was eminently loud, taking into account that it was after midnight, that time of the night all things in the suburbs are still and silent. Hence, of course, any noise would be amplified.

Thereupon, I felt a terrible pain coming from my chest, which caused me to gasp even more for air. Panting lightly, I walked as fast as I could down the passage and peeped around the corner at the T-junction to determine if I would be able to see anything, but it was too dark.

Only seeing movement and nothing else, not even