Love Courtship and Marriage

By Torrance Bobb and Elsa Bobb

Love Courtship and Marriage is as revealing and reflective as the authors. Dr. Torrance and Rev. Elsa Bobb are both ordained Pastors and have been serving each other in love for over fifty years. A proven fact that love can last forever.

 

The book speaks to those who are planning on getting married and for those already married. The pages are filled with encouragement and practical ways to keep love as the foundation of your marriage. "If you are going to be involved in something that you know you will be around for, for a long time, you should do everything within your power for that thing to be as good or as nice as you can make it. Don't allow problems to drive a wedge in your relationship; instead, as you work to solve them, you can draw closer together. It is important for spouses to commit themselves to each other. Couples should determine that their marriage will be a permanent lifelong relationship…that they are in it for the long haul."

 

Building on the foundation of their love for God and their love for each other, Dr. Torrance and Rev. Elsa Bobb share on the pages of the their new book, Love Courtship and Marriage, some hands-on ways they have enriched their lives and established a strong foundation from the start, which still keeps them going on, down through the years.

 

As stated in the book, "Hardly anything can be learned without some instructions. Seems we are willing to learn by reading a manual to operate a complicated equipment, but many couples simply believe that they know what should be done in marriage.

 

"Marriages will be more successful if spouses are adequately prepared. If we want love to last and consequently marriage, we need to follow the principles of the Designer of love and marriage as given by Him and as outlined in the Bible. To be sure, God is the one who said, "It is not good for the man to be alone."

• Language: English
• Publisher: CLM Publishing
• Release date: Apr 23, 2022
• ISBN: 9798201901608

Torrance Bobb

Torrance Bobb was born in Princes Town, Trinidad, where he committed his life to Christ during his teenage years. After working for a short time in the oil industry, Torrance migrated to Canada to pursue ministerial studies at Northwest Bible College, North American Baptist Seminary, the University of Alberta in Edmonton Alberta and also Briercrest Graduate School in Caronport, Saskatchewan, Canada. He holds a Bachelor of Arts and a Master of Arts, both in Biblical Studies. He was awarded an honorary Doctor of Divinity. He pastored in Trinidad where he also served as General Superintendent of the Pentecostal Assemblies of the West Indies. He also pastored in Florida, and currently pastors in the Cayman Islands. Reverend Torrance Bobb is an ordained minister with the Assemblies of God, Peninsular Florida District, U.S.A.

Book preview

LOVE AND MARRIAGE

Generally speaking, the person who conceives a thing and designs or makes it, has a good knowledge regarding the purpose and performance of that thing or function.

When we think about marriage, it is often thought about as the long-term projection of this love. To properly understand and appreciate love and marriage, we should look at the origination of it.

Regarding love, the scripture says that God is love. The idea of true love comes from God Himself. The feeling and capacity to love a person of the opposite sex comes from the very way in which we were designed by God, intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, and physically.

When there is true love, there is the desire for that love to go on forever.¹ The individuals concerned so enjoy the relationship that they do not want it to be interrupted.

Note the words of a popular song of yesteryear: When I fall in love, it will be forever. So, since we want love to last, what should we do to make this a reality? Also, why is it that so many who were madly in love want to get out of the relationship?

If we want love to last and consequently marriage, we need to follow the principles of the Designer of love and marriage as given by Him and as outlined in the Bible. To be sure, God is the one who said, It is not good for the man to be alone (Genesis 2:18).

Since God made the woman to complete the man, it stands to reason that the man also completes the woman. Furthermore, the true completion of the union of the man and the woman results in the procreation of the race.

The biological makeup of man and woman and the completion of this union forms the basis for the continuance of the human family, and without this ingenious design, none of us would have existed.

In most Western societies, there is a process that leads to marriage. There is a meeting of the individuals, followed by dating, then courtship and consequently marriage.

Much of our premarital discussion will assume this sequence of events. Many relationships begin as a result of meetings and associations, whether it is direct interaction, casual introductions, or intermittent, or regular interaction, in college, work, church, or other groupings.

Many of these initial meetings are done by direct introductions by friends and associates and, of course, now by the Internet. The more people have in common, the more interests that they share, the more principles on which they agree, the greater the chances there are of having a meaningful, lasting relationship.

We should realise then, that we can expect to find the person we will be attracted to, based on our associations. We can also expect shared interests and principles in people who frequent certain places and are involved in certain groups or gatherings.

In short, by virtue of an individual’s interests or activities, one can have a general idea as to whether or not one will be comfortable with that individual in an ongoing relationship.

Remember, if you are unmarried, it is more than likely your spouse will come from one of your associations or contacts. You should, therefore, be careful in your associations or contacts, as you would want to be comfortable in sharing your life with someone with the principles and lifestyle espoused by that association or group.

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¹ Nat King Cole, 1956. Wikipedia

ASKING GOD FOR GUIDANCE

Proverbs 18:24 says, A man that hath friends must show himself friendly. There is an important place for general friendship, and this is especially so as we seek to develop a long-term relationship. Involvement in groups that share your values and standards is an important consideration.

One’s personal values and principles should never be compromised for the sake of friends. As we think about love and marriage we must remind ourselves of God’s concern for us as individuals.

God is very concerned about our individual well-being. If the very hairs on our heads are numbered, would He not be concerned about our friends and the person whom we will marry?

In speaking about life, Jesus told His hearers that they should not worry or be overly concerned because God is aware of what our needs are. But we must seek first His Kingdom, (Matthew 6:25-34) and all the things we need will be given to us.

Proverbs 10:24 says: … what the righteous desires shall be granted. This is true in every area of our lives, including the provision of a spouse. We should be open to God to lead us and to guide the right person across our path. We should not become overly anxious or desperate if we feel we are not seeing the right person.

Marriage is a serious commitment. It is permanent lifelong relationship. Consequently, we should ensure that we will be comfortable with the one we are going to marry, and with that person’s qualities and behaviour through the years to come.

Dating and courtship serve to expose these qualities and behavioural traits. If you don’t like what you see or the conduct of the individual, do not continue. Many have serious doubts and concerns about an individual with whom they are interested, but they still go on with the relationship hoping that marriage will change the person. This is being misguided.

In dating and courtship, do not compromise your standards and principles. In Proverbs it says, In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight (chapter 3:6). And this includes love and marriage.

I have heard it said, "It is better not to be married and wish you were, than to be married and wish you weren’t.

Actively pray, and intentionally seek God, and cry out to Him for guidance for the right person, but live a balanced life at the same time. Rest assured in God’s promise: Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

Don’t get impatient.

After you have prayed, trust God to help you. Don’t lose heart or patience or get into any premature relationship. It is a good thing to have in mind the qualities that one is looking for in a spouse. Identification of these basic spiritual and moral qualities is vital. If these qualities are in place, one needs to be open to God regarding other details that are not as significant.

Remember, you are not perfect and you will not get a perfect spouse, but I want to emphasise, do not compromise when it comes to spirituality, morality and important character qualities.

MARRIAGE

When one is convinced that one has met the right person, one should not be afraid to discuss that person with one’s parents, pastor or mature individuals who seek one’s interest. While you cannot please everyone, yet the opinion of mature persons who seek your interest should be respected.

When you get married, your desire should be that of pleasing your spouse. Study your partner and think and plan what you can do to please your partner and to make life more pleasant for him or her.

Regardless of the response of your spouse to your efforts, always give one hundred percent of yourself to your spouse.

DEVELOPING AND SUSTAINING LOVE

The capacity to love comes from our very makeup. God has so designed us so that we can be attracted to a person of the opposite sex who has certain physical and other character qualities.

Sometimes lasting love follows after those initial