The Official Skiver's Handbook: The Art of Skiving: How to Do Nothing at Work and Look Busy All Day Long

By Paul A. Smith

Have you ever noticed how some people seem to get away with doing very little productive work on a daily basis, often to the frustration and annoyance of their colleagues?

Some of these people are just lazy, and you would expect that a good manager will deal with their performance issues sooner rather than later. Some of them are just in a job that they clearly don’t like, aren’t suited to or can’t wait to leave. These people usually don’t stick around for very long before leaving and moving on to another job.

The other type of person is a skiver. A skiver will use all of their experience, skill and knowledge to find ways to do as little work as they can get away with, often while appearing to be a productive and popular member of the team.

This book is for you if you want to learn how to become one.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Mar 31, 2022
• ISBN: 9781398400849

Paul A. Smith

Paul A. Smith has spent the last thirty years working as a manager within the distribution and logistics industry in the United Kingdom. He has spent countless hours listening to people’s feeble excuses and blatant lies for why they were late for work, unable to come to work, or why their poor absence or performance record should be excused. He is not in the slightest bit surprised when he hears that British labour productivity has underperformed for another year, yet again. He lives in Hampshire with his dog, Charlie. .

Book preview

About the Author

Paul A. Smith has spent the last thirty years working as a manager within the distribution and logistics industry in the United Kingdom.

He has spent countless hours listening to people’s feeble excuses and blatant lies for why they were late for work, unable to come to work, or why their poor absence or performance record should be excused.

He is not in the slightest bit surprised when he hears that British labou

r productivity has underperformed for another year, yet again.

He lives in Hampshire with his dog, Charlie.

Dedication

Dedicated to all of the work-shy skivers I have ever known in my career.

Copyright Information ©

Paul A. Smith 2022

The right of Paul A. Smith to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with section 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

The story, experiences, and words are the author’s alone.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781398402119 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781398400849 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2022

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

1 Canada Square

Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Skive verb skiving, skived (often followed by off).

British informal, to avoid work or responsibility.

Skiver noun.

Collins Dictionary of the English Language

Introduction

Welcome to The Official Skiver’s Handbook, a handy introduction to the world of skiving. As well as being a useful guide for the uninitiated, it is a handbook to help you to hone your skiving skills if you have already chosen the well-trodden path taken by the work-shy, lazy and devious.

Everywhere in the world that you find people working, you can bet your life savings that not too far away you will find someone shirking their responsibilities and skiving. The true practised masters at the art will blend in with the rest of the work force and become invisible. Some professionals even reach the stage of being thought of as great workers and model employees. You too can reach the same level of expertise with the help of this handbook.

Skivers can be found from the largest multinational conglomerates in the world to the average run-of-the-mill small company. In general, the larger the company, the greater the chance for skiving.

A lot of the ideas and suggestions found in this book are based on my own personal experience working in large companies during my career.

Self-employed people should seriously consider reading another book instead of this one. I would suggest the autobiographies of Richard Branson or James Dyson or the inspirational, motivational books of Anthony Robbins as some examples.

This book has been specifically created to be compact and easily concealed, as you will need to keep it with you at all times at work in order to make the best use of the tips inside.

In order to become a true master at skiving, you need to practise and cultivate your skills and always be on the lookout for new opportunities to do less work.

You may find that where you work has other specific situations that are not included in this book. This handbook will help you to spot and make the most of these and keep you in the right frame of mind to utilise them to their maximum potential.

Good luck in your journey to working a lot less.

The Philosophy of Skiving

It is important to understand that skiving should be a way of life for you within the workplace, and especially if you are one of those people who find themselves in a job that you find monotonous and mundane. Most work is, by its very nature, repetitive, uninspiring and boring, so don’t feel guilty about thinking this way.

Not all of the people who choose to skive are necessarily bad workers or particularly lazy. More often than not, they will be disillusioned with some of the work that they have to do, or with the ability of their managers to frustrate them through poor communication and even worse man management skills. They will often find themselves in a job that doesn’t pay them as much as they would