The Burnout Antidote: A Spiritual Guide to Empowerment for Empaths, Over-givers, and Highly Sensitive People

By Anne Berube

Restore Your Core Essence, Find Emotional Freedom, and Thrive

Use your body as an instrument for accelerated transformation and growth with this powerful guide to overcoming burnout. Anne Bérubé helps you access your innate capacity to heal and shows you that your burnout can become a gateway to embodied wisdom and vitality. This book empowers you through a variety of practical tools and exercises, including breath work, meditations, visualizations, and self-inquiry. Learn to overcome obstacles and gain access to limitless spiritual energy. Discover how to communicate with your inner child and reclaim the fragmented parts of yourself. With this book, you can tune in to your natural gifts and recover from burnout.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide
• Release date: Apr 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9780738769912

Anne Berube

Anne Bérubé, PhD, (Nova Scotia, Canada) is a spiritual teacher with an uncommon ability to share her story and insights in a way that awakens the inner wisdom in others. She helps people free themselves from the societal and parental conditioning that is holding them back from realizing the highest calling of their soul. Her work has also allowed her to share the stage with renowned self-help luminaries, including bestselling authors Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Elizabeth Gilbert, Sir Ken Robinson, Julie Daniluk, Anita Moorjani, Gabrielle Bernstein, Neal Donald Walsh, Dr. William Davis MD, and Gregg Braden. Learn more at www.AnneBerube.com.

Book preview

About the Author

Anne Bérubé, PhD, (Nova Scotia, Canada) is a spiritual teacher with an uncommon ability to share her story and insights in a way that awakens the inner wisdom in others. She helps people free themselves from the societal and parental conditioning that is holding them back from realizing the highest calling of their soul.

Her work has also allowed her to share the stage with renowned self-help luminaries, including bestselling authors Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, Elizabeth Gilbert, Sir Ken Robinson, Julie Daniluk, Anita Moorjani, Gabrielle Bernstein, Neal Donald Walsh, Dr. William Davis MD, and Gregg Braden. Learn more at www.AnneBerube.com.

title page

Llewellyn Publications

Woodbury, Minnesota

Copyright Information

The Burnout Antidote: A Spiritual Guide to Empowerment for Empaths, Over-Givers, and Highly Sensitive People © 2022 by Anne Bérubé.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any matter whatsoever, including Internet usage, without written permission from Llewellyn Publications, except in the form of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

As the purchaser of this e-book, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. The text may not be otherwise reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, or recorded on any other storage device in any form or by any means.

Any unauthorized usage of the text without express written permission of the publisher is a violation of the author’s copyright and is illegal and punishable by law.

First e-book edition © 2022

E-book ISBN: 9780738769912

Book design by Colleen McLaren

Cover design by Shannon McKuhen

Figure on page 128 by Mary Ann Zapalac

Llewellyn Publications is an imprint of Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Bérubé, Anne, author.

Title: The burnout antidote : a spiritual guide to empowerment for empaths,

over-givers, and highly sensitive people / Anne Bérubé.

Description: First edition. | Woodbury, Minnesota : Llewellyn Publications,

[2022] | Includes bibliographical references.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021970020 (print) | LCCN 2021058723 (ebook) | ISBN

9780738769738 (paperback) | ISBN 9780738769912 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Burn out (Psychology) | Burn out (Psychology)—Religious

aspects. | Caregivers. | Empathy.

Classification: LCC BF575.S75 B47 2022 (print) | LCC BF575.S75 (ebook) |

DDC 158.7/23—dc23/eng/20220103

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021970020

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021970102

Llewellyn Publications does not participate in, endorse, or have any authority or responsibility concerning private business arrangements between our authors and the public.

Any Internet references contained in this work are current at publication time, but the publisher cannot guarantee that a specific reference will continue or be maintained. Please refer to the publisher’s website for links to current author websites.

Llewellyn Publications

Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

2143 Wooddale Drive

Woodbury, MN 55125

www.llewellyn.com

Manufactured in the United States of America

Disclaimer

The exercises and advice in this book are not intended to replace the care of licensed medical or mental health professionals. Please consult a doctor if you are experiencing a mental, emotional, or physical crisis.

Contents

List of Exercises

Introduction

Burning Out

Chapter One

Redefining Burnout, Service, and Empathy

Chapter Two

Step One: Embodiment and Core Essence

Chapter Three

Step Two: Guilt and the Inner Child’s Fear of Losing Love

Chapter Four

Step Three: Who Were You Before You Were Needed?

Chapter Five

Step Four: Find the Great Mother and Father Within

Chapter Six

Step Five: Reclaim Your High Sensitivity and Set Boundaries

Chapter Seven

Step Six: Realize the Power of Your Core Essence

Chapter Eight

Step Seven: Embodied Leadership and Your Emergent Future

Conclusion: Beyond Burnout

Acknowledgments

Bibliography

Exercises

Daily Check-in Practice

Burnout Antidotes Step One: Retreat, You’re More Tired Than You Think

Antidote #1 Ha Breath as Retreat

Antidote #2 Somatic Experience as Retreat

Antidote #3 Physical Retreats

Burnout Antidotes Step Two: Strengthen Your Resolve

Antidote #4 Inner Body Awareness Visualization

Antidote #5 Back in Time

Antidote #6 I See You

Burnout Antidotes Step Three: Your Inner Child

Antidote #7 Face the Wound

Antidote #8 Move the Wound

Antidote #9 Meet the Child

Burnout Antidotes Step Four: Decoding and Releasing Energy

Antidote #10 The Wisdom of the Elements in the Body

Antidote #11 Giving Voice

Antidote #12 Core Breath Expansion

Burnout Antidotes Step Five: Meet Your Core Essence

Antidote #13: Activate the Heart

Antidote #14 Core Essence Remembering

Antidote #15 Core Star

Burnout Antidotes Step Six: Stand in Your Fire

Antidote #16 Healing Relationships

Antidote #17 Retrieving the Fire of Your Core

Antidote #18 Sounds as Realization

Burnout Antidotes Step Seven: Increase Your Impact

Antidote #19 Calling on Your Allies

Antidote #20 Future Pacing

Antidote #21 Soul-Realization Mantra

Introduction

Burning Out

This book is for anyone who over-gives and depletes themselves in the process of serving their families, clients, patients, or communities. It is for those who find it difficult to ask for or receive the care and protection they need. It’s paradigm-shifting, promising a new way of engaging the spirit of service that is energizing, fulfilling, and meaningful. Rather than feeling drained, you will find emotional freedom and empowerment through your innate gifts.

To know where we are going, we need to understand where we came from.

We have come to know ourselves not through the essence of our core, but as a series of fragmented representations of who we think we should be. We lose ourselves as we strive to meet expectations that are not our own, and our point of reference shifts from internal to external. Living outside of ourselves, we are disembodied. We have disconnected from our spiritual spring of unlimited energy and are operating from a finite source.

When we engage in selfless service from a place of disconnection we can’t truly be fulfilled. This is the root of our suffering. We will be hounded by the feeling that something is missing in our life. We might also feel alone and unsupported, and the lack of reciprocal care leads to feelings of resentment and betrayal.

Why do we tolerate this? Why not change our behavior and environment when faced with mounting evidence that we’re being harmed? Why do we not allow ourselves to heal? Over the past decade, through coaching and workshops, I have had the privilege of accompanying thousands of people on their journey to soul-realization. Time and again, I have seen women and men who are on the cusp of personal progress or emotional healing, only to find themselves held back by the erroneous belief: I am not enough.

Combined with our innate impulse for selfless service, this limiting belief becomes incredibly damaging. People who are highly sensitive and predisposed to over-give become resentful, discouraged, disillusioned, and even ill. Others, more prone to putting up protective walls, might adopt narcissistic tendencies as they disconnect from others’ feelings entirely.

I am not enough implies that I am not worthy of love, and therefore my needs and desires are not a priority. For many of us, this belief has been ingrained in our bodies since childhood.¹ Different circumstances, which we will explore more in depth this book, brought us to put our needs aside to tend to the needs of our caregivers and people around us who needed us. This has brought us to place our reference points for our identity outside of ourselves, leaving traces of this disconnection from our core in the tissue of our bodies. We have carried these patterns with us into adulthood and our unconscious habits keep this self-neglect intact. This pattern can also be passed down through generations. Sometimes it is the conditioned belief of our ancestors, various form of I am not worthy of love, that is passed down, that we are called to examine, heal, and eradicate from our lineage going forward.

A Spiritual Solution

Burnout is rampant in our fast-paced modern world,² and there’s a tremendous variety in how we experience it. It’s not a one-size-fits-all experience. It can be frustrating and isolating. Unexamined, burnout worsens and can lead to disenchantment, boredom, depression, anxiety, and increasingly debilitating mental health issues.

Burnout can happen for multiple reasons.³ As with any problem, our assumptions about its causes will dictate our approach to heal or resolve it. I approach it from a spiritual perspective because I believe that burnout requires a spiritual solution, a level of experience that goes beyond body and mind. There are many other solutions out there, from hormone therapy, supplements, and medication, to lifestyle and diet change, therapy, and exercise, all of which can yield positive results. But at the end of the day, if the problem of burnout is addressed only at the peripheral level of psychology and physiology, changes will only be incremental, and they won’t last.

Your symptoms of burnout are metaphors for what is happening at a deeper level in your core. When you address the problem at this deeper level, the spiritual level, you can heal the core issue that is affecting not just your ability to be there for your family, your clients, your community, and the people you love, but all aspects of your life, including your creativity, abundance, success at work, joie de vivre, relationships, and, more importantly, your inner world. The Burnout Antidote is there to help you go straight to the real reason you are burnt out and dissolve it for good.

There’s a spiritual intelligence behind your burnout, it has everything to do with your core essence, and it starts with why you serve others. We are born with the impulse and the desire to serve, to help, and to alleviate the suffering of others.⁴ In his book Do Onto Others: Extraordinary Acts of Ordinary People, Emeritus Professor of sociology at Humboldt State University writes that altruism begins in infancy as an innate predisposition and is nurtured (or not) in the relationship with one’s parents. Recent studies in neuroscience, in particular by Professor Marco Iacoboni at the School of Medicine at UCLA, have confirmed the fact that we have a neurobiology wired for empathy.⁵ Our core essence—meaning who we are before societal or parental conditioning informs who we become—is naturally altruistic.⁶

We show up for others because it is innate in us to do so, but also because it makes us feel good, most of the time. Research shows that our intrinsic capacity for benevolence and other-regarding emotions enhances our wellbeing. Kind emotions and helping behaviors are both associated with good physical and mental health and longevity.⁷ This insight is not new, and has been described in ancient proverbs: A generous person will prosper; whoever refreshes others will be refreshed.⁸ Generally, we feel good and have more resilience when we can be of service to others.

But here is the conundrum: if we are in fact designed to care for each other, why are we as a society so unwell, sicker than ever, with unprecedented levels of burnout, depression, anxiety, isolation, and loneliness? Shouldn’t an innate trait that feels like a calling from the deepest parts of us bring us a sense of fulfillment for the rest of our lives? How can a behavior that feels so meaningful and aligned with who we are drain us, and even fill us with resentment?

For people who feel that service is their calling, this paradox can precipitate an existential crisis. What happens when our natural inclination to serve depletes our vitality, ability, and capacity? Like a broken-down vending machine, we’re suddenly out of service: full of potential and gifts for the world, but no longer functioning. We can’t continue to be of service and use our gifts when it drains our life energy.

Ironically, those among us who are highly sensitive and empathetic are the most likely to be burnt out by over-giving. I count myself among this group. Our high sensitivity allows us to tap into people’s feelings and needs in a way that others cannot. Our ability to serve attracts more opportunities for service. But if we take this too far, and neglect our own needs, our gift becomes our source of depletion, frustration, and resentment.

The good news is that fully feeling is indeed a special gift, being highly sensitive is a superpower, and there is a way to keep our innate abilities, use them, and still be energized, excited about life, joyful, and fulfilled. In fact, the more attuned with and sensitive to the world you are, the more capacity you have for contact and intimacy with yourself. This is a key part of the process of reclaiming your power, a process I will guide you through in this book. Your sensitivity will serve you very well here.

The Antidote

I want you to know that you have the ability to give and help others in a way that energizes and fulfills you. It begins with taking the right steps to restore love for your core essence, your true nature, so you can tap into your unlimited source of spiritual energy. Greater love for your core essence will translate into greater love for others. In our pursuit of deeper inner love, we are better parents, partners, helpers, healers, and leaders. We gain access to limitless insights and wisdom. The feeling that we are missing the mark or not doing enough gives way to a sense of resonance and remembrance of who we truly are—no more fragmentation of self. Our soul, our feelings, our emotions, our thoughts, our words, and our actions are in harmony with each other.

The status quo isn’t working, but the fear of change and loss paralyzes us. This book introduces a seven-step transformational process and makes a simple promise: you can increase your impact in the world and your capacity for service without draining yourself or losing your health and happiness. These changes are sustainable because they happen at an embodied level, meaning that you will fundamentally shift how you show up in the world, every day.

I know this process works because I have seen its results with my clients and workshop participants, and I have gone through full cycles of it myself multiple times in the past twenty years, every time emerging on the other side with more clarity, freedom, and excitement, and a renewed sense of purpose and service.

In 2001, my body was jarred into a mystical experience during a near-fatal car accident. Before that day, I was fully asleep and unconscious to my true nature. I didn’t know that there was another way to live, like a fish that doesn’t know it is in water. I solely identified with expectations that weren’t really mine, and with the stories that ran on loop in my head. I didn’t know it then, but I was aware of only a small slice of reality, one that was keeping me trapped in a body that was constantly aching and burning out, and in a mind that was full of emotional anguish, resentment, and bitterness. The only way I knew to deal with my acute discontentment was to indulge more and more in distractions, addictions, and pushing myself to strive for accomplishments I could one day feel worthy of.

On the outside, I appeared happy, independent, and driven, but inside I always felt I was one step behind where I thought I should be, never feeling like I was doing enough, depleting my energy, and looking outside of myself for ways to feel better. My high sensitivity had to be suppressed to make it in this world that I built for myself. The more I tried to fill the void I felt inside with external and ephemeral supply, like praises, validation, alcohol, relationship drama, or more diplomas, the more I self-sabotaged, destroyed what was actually good for me, and moved further and further away from an authentic experience and true expression of life. Looking back, I can say I was living as the image I had of myself, not as my actual self.

The experience in the car accident, which I will share more details of in Chapter Two, not only woke me up to a level of self-love I had never experienced before but it set in motion a healing and creative spiritual process that has guided me inward many times over the past two decades, each time allowing me to let go of unhelpful conditioning, fears, and unhealthy patterns; each time finding new freedom and expansion within, and incarnating more and more the essence of who I was born to be.

It has become my life’s work to answer the call of transformation every time it arises in me, and to share my insights and discoveries in the hopes it can support and inspire others on their path to more vitality, soul-fulfillment, and inner freedom.

I have created a unique program based on my experience with this process, and I have used this program with thousands of individuals in workshops and in my private practice. This is the program I share with you in this book.

Each chapter contains actionable tools and exercises you can use immediately to move you out of burnout and into more energy. These include meditations, visualizations, exercises, self-inquiry worksheets, and tips on overcoming obstacles, integrating this work into your life, and making meaningful and sustainable changes.

In Chapter One, Redefining Burnout, Service, and Empathy, we begin by looking at how we have been conditioned to understand service and empathy in ways that deplete and drain us. Reframing these two concepts and looking at burnout in a different way will give you a foundation on which to build, and help you move forward with transcending your burnout.

In Chapter Two, Embodiment and Core Essence, we look at how difficult it is to make ourselves a priority and why it is so difficult, although we are worn out and understand the need for a break at the intellectual level. With a mountain of responsibilities and no time to spare, it is hard to embrace the need for change and give ourselves permission to take care of ourselves. In this chapter, I share with you Burnout Antidotes Step One: Retreat, You’re More Tired Than You Think. I will help you learn the language of your body, discover the source of your burnout, and help you make yourself a priority.

In Chapter Three, Guilt and The Inner Child’s Fear of Losing Love, we recognize that the fear of letting people down keeps us trapped and unable to heal and live a life that is our own. This chapter focuses on overcoming the fear of losing love through self-love and heart-healing exercises, which is Burnout Antidotes Step Two: Strengthen Your Resolve. I help you learn the language of your heart and access a whole new dimension of yourself. Guilt and shame are overwhelmed by a feeling of vibrancy and excitement about your life.

In Chapter Four, Who Were You Before You Were Needed?, I invite you to see the core wound that has been acting as a barrier to your core essence. It might have been a long time since you have explored your inner world, and you might have lost the ability to deeply connect. This chapter will save you years of talk therapy as you discover your body as an instrument, a processor of energy and information. With Burnout Antidotes Step Three: Your Inner Child, you will learn to process fear and the stories associated with fear at a rapid speed.

In Chapter Five, Find the Great Mother and Father Within, we break the silence of shame, by engaging in direct conversation with your inner child. You will gain a tool that you will carry with you for the rest of your life, enabling you to connect with the untapped power behind your core wound. By building trust and communication with your inner child, you will reclaim the lost and fragmented parts of yourself and discover that the wound, the root cause of your burnout, is the gateway to knowledge of self, embodied wisdom, and vitality. This is Burnout Antidotes Step Four: Decoding and Releasing Energy.

In Chapter Six, Reclaim Your High Sensitivity and Set Boundaries, we are ready to dive deep into our very soul with our unanswered questions: Who am I? Who was I before I was needed? These insights aren’t available through intellectual pursuits, so we continue to use the inner child and the body as guides as we pursue the answers. With Burnout Antidotes Step Five: Meet Your Core Essence you will meet your core essence, establish healthy boundaries, and remember your innate freedom and limitlessness. You will find that your previous fears were proportionate to the gifts you discovered, that your sensitivity is a source of power, and that your body is more powerful than any teacher or guru.

In Chapter Seven, Realize the Power of Your Core Essence, you will gain another powerful tool: an inner compass that allows you to discern between conditioning and core essence insights. You’ll also gain clarity around the intelligence of how your fire expresses through you and how to embody intense energy like anger skillfully. In Burnout Antidotes Step Six: Stand in Your Fire, I will help you deal with the resistance from the people who count on the old iteration of you. You will face the fear that you must choose between their love and your purpose. Your purpose will be redefined on your own terms, through the impulse of the essence