From Grief to Healing: A Holistic Guide to Rebuilding Mind, Body & Spirit After Loss

By Amanda Mackenzie

Simple, Encouraging Practices to Help You Navigate the Spirals of Grief

To be human is to experience grief, and the road to recovery has many twists and turns. This collection of hands-on activities offers support as you remain present to your grief and move toward a state of well-being. Explore the emotions, thoughts, symptoms, and spiritual energy of loss as you learn how to identify the pathways for healing. To enhance your understanding, each chapter incorporates a common set of practices:

• Chakras
• Affirmations ?
• Journaling
• Meditations ?
• Movement ?
• Essential Oils ?
• Rituals

Wherever you are with your bereavement, this guide is designed to help you navigate your ups and downs throughout the recovery process.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Llewellyn Worldwide
• Release date: Mar 8, 2022
• ISBN: 9780738767031

Amanda Mackenzie

Amanda Mackenzie is a holistic counselor, leadership consultant, and coach. Visit her at www.amandamackenzie.com.au.

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About the Author

Amanda Mackenzie (Canberra, Australia) is a holistic counselor, leadership consultant, and coach. She has designed and taught counseling education programs for St. Mark’s College and Australian Catholic University.

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Llewellyn Publications

Woodbury, Minnesota

Copyright Information

From Grief to Healing: A Holistic Guide to Rebuilding Mind, Body, and Spirit After Loss © 2022 by Amanda Mackenzie.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any matter whatsoever, including Internet usage, without written permission from Llewellyn Publications, except in the form of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

As the purchaser of this e-book, you are granted the non-exclusive, non-transferable right to access and read the text of this e-book on screen. The text may not be otherwise reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, or recorded on any other storage device in any form or by any means.

Any unauthorized usage of the text without express written permission of the publisher is a violation of the author’s copyright and is illegal and punishable by law.

First e-book edition © 2022

E-book ISBN: 9780738766751

Cover design by Kevin R. Brown

Editing by Holly Vanderhaar

Interior art the Llewellyn Art Department

Interior standing figure © Mary Ann Zapalac

Llewellyn Publications is an imprint of Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

Names: Mackenzie, Amanda, author.

Title: From grief to healing : a holistic guide to rebuilding mind, body &

spirit after loss / Amanda Mackenzie.

Description: First edition. | Woodbury, Minnesota : Llewellyn Publications,

2022. | Includes index. | Summary: "Using holistic arts to get through

grief. This is a practical book on moving from grief to recovery that

provides support to the bereaved for healing of mind, body and spirit"--

Provided by publisher.

Identifiers: LCCN 2021053226 (print) | LCCN 2021053227 (ebook) | ISBN

9780738766751 (hardcover) | ISBN 9780738767031 (ebook)

Subjects: LCSH: Chakras | Mind and body therapies. | Healing--Miscellanea.

| Loss (Psychology)--Miscellanea. | Grief--Miscellanea. |

Bereavement--Miscellanea.

Classification: LCC BF1442.C53 M33 2022 (print) | LCC BF1442.C53 (ebook)

| DDC 155.9/37--dc23/eng/20211206

LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021053226

LC ebook record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2021053227

Llewellyn Publications does not participate in, endorse, or have any authority or responsibility concerning private business arrangements between our authors and the public.

Any Internet references contained in this work are current at publication time, but the publisher cannot guarantee that a specific reference will continue or be maintained. Please refer to the publisher’s website for links to current author websites.

Llewellyn Publications

Llewellyn Worldwide Ltd.

2143 Wooddale Drive

Woodbury, MN 55125

www.llewellyn.com

Manufactured in the United States of America

Dedication

For Paul, with love and gratitude.

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Disclaimer

This book is not intended to serve as a replacement for treatment by a medical and/or mental health professional. Please exercise caution when using essential oils, as some may cause an allergic or skin reaction, and do not take them internally unless directed to do so by an expert. Some oils should not be used during pregnancy, or around pets; please consult a professional in this case.

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Contents

Introduced

Chapter 1: Invited

Chapter 2: Bereaved

Chapter 3: Heartened

Chapter 4: Reminded

Chapter 5: Embodied

Chapter 6: Spirited

Chapter 7: Connected

Chapter 8: Accompanied

Chapter 9: Remembered

Chapter 10: Transformed

Concluded

Acknowledged

Appendix 1—Resourced

Appendix 2—Oils summary

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Introduced

The seed for this book was planted on the day my husband was diagnosed with cancer in his mid-forties. During Paul’s illness we began with traditional medicine, then quickly and painfully discovered that it had little to offer him. On the day of his diagnosis he had to undergo a procedure under anaesthetic in hospital. I was trying to process what it all meant and was pacing around and around the block. I was relieved to find the library, only to be told that it wasn’t available to patients or their families. That experience proved to be emblematic for our encounters with conventional Western medicine.

As we began to read more widely and talk with a range of holistic practitioners, we discovered a broader range of traditions from across cultures to support healing. We began qigong and meditation; we refined our diet and engaged with a number of new modalities. After Paul’s death five months later, I continued my exploration and extended my personal practices as I searched for answers, for comfort, and for wisdom.

Over several years I made changes in my work life, broadening my base as an educator to become a leadership coach. While my business was thriving, some of my clients were not and I could see that Western approaches that segmented the person into a number of parts could reduce their well-being, sense of agency, and possibility.

I undertook a post-graduate course in holistic psychotherapy and counselling, which reinforced my beliefs about the human experience and broadened my repertoire about how to help my clients integrate and develop all parts of themselves.

This book shares what I have discovered: what helped and what didn’t. It’s not a personal narrative; it’s not a how-to book; but rather it’s an integrated approach to healing after grief that draws on the deep wisdom of my experience, both as a woman and as an influential, holistic counsellor and coach.

To be human is to experience grief. Every year millions of us die and each one leaves behind family and others who try to make sense of their loss. This book is designed as a companion and guide to the bereaved to support healing of mind, body, and spirit.

It provides a collection of simple practices to support those who have experienced the death of a loved one; it will help them to remain present to their grief and move towards recovery. I regularly use some of these myself and teach them to others in therapy and in workshops, integrating cultural and spiritual practices that have demonstrated their value. These resources focus on those parts of us that are affected when we grieve, and demand our attention as we heal.

My experience of grief and healing is captured by the energy of the spiral. There were many moments in grief when I felt myself fall lower or spin out of control. As my recovery and healing began, I had moments where I was aware of a shift or a change, a glimpse of peace or hope, and my energy spiralled upwards and outwards in incremental steps. Most importantly, my path from grief to healing was not a one-way trip. Many times, I thought I was on my way out of it, only to discover that my recovery was slipping away. Wherever you are with your grief and healing, the structure of the book is designed to assist you to navigate your own spirals by dipping in and out of pages that grab or hold your attention, or by finding something of value and following that thread across chapters.

How to use this book

This book recognizes that the challenges for the ones who remain can be daunting. It draws on the wisdom of lived experience and on customs and practises that reflect the wisdom of ages and cultures.

Each chapter focuses on one aspect of the experience of grief and loss, exploring its nature and its limits to better understand what may be happening within us. It uses that same lens to identify some pathways for healing.

Invited—the reality of grief and the need for healing

Bereaved—the impact of grief and loss

Heartened—the emotions of grief and healing

Reminded—the thoughts of grief and healing

Embodied—the symptoms of grief and healing

Spirited—the energy of grief and healing

Connected—the relationships of grief and healing

Accompanied—the experience of children in grief and healing

Remembered—the rituals of grief and healing

Transformed—the wisdom of grief and healing

In addition to information and personal insights about the topic, all chapters use a common set of practises to assist you: Chakras—focus your energy for awareness and intention. Affirmations—focus your self-talk for assurance and hope. Journal—focus your expression for healing. Meditation—focus your mind for calm and clarity. Movement—focus your body for grounding and flow. Essential oils—focus your whole system for healing. Ritual—focus your daily experience for healing.

Chakras—focus your energy

for awareness and intention

When we feel vital, we feel alive and connected with energies within and beyond ourselves. We might experience this when out in nature, or after a holiday, or in other peak experiences. Our vitality is an expression of the universal life force that unites all living things. While cultures express this in different ways—spirit, prana, or qi, for example—the essence remains the same, and we know when we feel invigorated and energised.

This vitality can be disrupted and depleted in times of grief. Conversely, it can be restored and balanced as part of the healing process. In each chapter you’ll find some ideas about how a particular aspect of your vitality may be affected by grief and then used to restore balance.

The word chakra is the Sanskrit word for wheel, and the chakras represent energy centres within and beyond the body. Chakras are part of the ancient wisdom and have been taught in a number of spiritual traditions and approaches to healing. Disturbances in this energy flow are linked to reduced well-being as the chakras support us with a flow of energy (or prana or chi) throughout our whole being to support health and balance.

While there are many chakras, the main seven are numbered from the lowest parts of the torso and continue to the top of the head. Each of these seven positions is allocated a colour from the rainbow.

In addition to the seven main chakras, we can draw on three additional vitality centres as we work with the energies of grief and healing: the earthstar chakra, the soulstar chakra, and the hand chakras.

Just beneath the body is the earthstar chakra, which sits about thirty centimetres below our feet. Sometimes called the super-root or the sub-personal chakra, this centre of energy connects us to the earth and, through it, to all living things. It supports our existence and our other chakras, and is often represented by the blacks and browns of the earth.

chakra

Chakra Figure

Just above the body is the soulstar chakra, which sits about fifteen centimetres above the crown of the head. Also known as a transpersonal chakra, this connects our energy with spiritual consciousness and is often represented by a golden colour.

There are several chakras in our hands, with the main ones sitting in the centre of each palm. These are an extension of our heart chakra, and through them the energy of love and belonging flows within and without. For our purposes it will be represented by the colour magenta.

Each aspect of our vitality has a particular energy that supports our well-being—physical, psychological, spiritual, and emotional. Each one also has a range of expressions to allow us to build awareness and access these portals to our life force.

Chakra table

The table on the next page outlines the connections between each chapter of the book and its particular focus, noting the chakra energy that may assist you in the movement from grief to healing.

Affirmations—focus your self-talk

for assurance and hope

Affirmations are statements that reinforce our beliefs. These short mental announcements repeat key ideas to ourselves and to others. As we make those statements over and over, we change the physical structure of our brains, making it easier to experience those thoughts again.

When things are not going so well, we affirm or reinforce the difficulties we are having: Life is hard; I don’t think things will ever improve; I’ll never get over this; No-one helps me. Such patterns can hold us in a rigid mindset that makes it hard to see possibilities and solutions. These statements reinforce present difficulties and predict a difficult future.

On the other hand, positive affirmations declare what’s good: I’m doing OK; This is great; I’m on a roll; There’s no stopping me; Look at me go! These affirmations have momentum and energy. They reinforce capacity and predict even more success.

Positive affirmations can be used intentionally to change patterns of unhelpful thoughts. They are more than wishes for things to be different. They declare in active language and in the present tense, those patterns you are claiming now, in order to shape your own story. They can replace negative and critical scripts that keep you stuck in unhelpful ways of thinking about yourself and your circumstances.

Using affirmations each day can deepen a sense of calm and possibility. The first step is to notice