A Reflection of S.H.E.

By Thomasina Millner

Are you ready to live FREE in Christ? Join Thomasina in becoming a S.H.E. Sista! This journey will help you to evaluate your life, shed the negativity that has held you bound, and embrace God's will. It's time to turn your trials into a beautiful testimony. Twenty-three years later, Thomasina lives as a S.H.E.(Successfully Healed and Enough) Sista, embracing life through a healed lens. She is looking for ladies who are ready to join the S.H.E. family. Is that you? Learn how to turn your PAIN into PURPOSEFUL PRAISE with intentional strategies, scriptures, and transparency. Break the shackles of negative self-talk, fear, abuse, and bondage. Come join the S.H.E. family, and live FREE IN CHRIST! -Marcela Sansanelli, Ridgefield, New Jersey If you desire to walk in freedom and true deliverance, this book will challenge you to do some self-examination and soul-searching by addressing many areas of your life both past and present. As every chapter uncovers another layer of S.H.E. through Thomasina's journey, you will become strengthened and empowered toward becoming the true and authentic woman that God made you to be as well. - Elder Susan Crawford-Jones, Washington, DC

• Language: English
• Publisher: Lulu.com
• Release date: Aug 10, 2021
• ISBN: 9781304074225

Book preview

A REFLECTION

OF

S.H.E.

Thomasina Millner

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Copyright © 2020 Thomasina Millner

Book Package and Publication: Dr. Lawanne’ S. Grant Leadership DevelopME, LLC: www.leadershipdevelopme.com

Author’s Photo:

Bryan Jones Photography

[e-mail] - 301-704-1277

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

Books may be ordered through booksellers or by contacting:

Thomasina Millner

Website: www.reflectionsofshe.org

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

ISBN: 978-1-304-07422-5

Library of Congress Control Number: 2021912421

Printed in the United States of America

Scriptures are taken from the NKJV® New King James Version, Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Scriptures are taken from NLT, New Living Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Scriptures taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.™ Used by permission of Zondervan. Scripture quotations are taken from the (NASB®) New American Standard Bible®, Copyright © 1960, 1971, 1977, 1995, 2020 by The Lockman Foundation. Scriptures are taken from KING JAMES VERSION (KJV): KING JAMES

VERSION, public domain.

Used by Permission.  All rights reserved.

Table of Contents

Dedication      1

Acknowledgements      3

Introduction: A Letter to my S.H.E. Sista      5

Chapter 1: S.H.E. ~ Suicidal, Hurt, Existing      9

Chapter 2: S.H. E. ~ Scarred, Humbled, Exploring      25

Chapter 3: S.H.E. ~ Shamed, Hospitalized, Eclectic      37

Chapter 4: S.H.E. ~ Soulful, Hypocritical, Examined      51

Chapter 5: S.H.E. ~ Saved, Healthy, Educated      65

Chapter 6: S.H.E. ~ Strategic, Honorable, Established      77

Chapter 7: S.H.E. ~ Successfully Healed and Enough      91

Final Words to my S.H.E. Sista      103

About the Author      109

Dedication

This book is dedicated to every woman that has endured silent screams and loud tears, a controversial life that only you can understand. I hope this book helps you become Free in Christ...

My S.H.E. Sista, know that you are loved!

To my parents, Thomas and Buana Millner. Thank you for continually praying for me and giving me words of wisdom despite my hardheadedness. I have finally embraced my destiny.

With love, support, and encouragement, I finally said, Yes, Lord! Please know that you inspire me daily.

Loving You Always,

Your Sugar Wooga

Acknowledgements

I would like to acknowledge my Leadership Team. They were my support system, who met with me regularly to hold me accountable to completing my journey. I appreciate your love, support, and correction.

I would also like to acknowledge my siblings and my special friend who stood with me through my tears. You knew just what to say to make me laugh and made sure I always had food to eat when I stayed in my writer’s mode (inside joke).

Introduction:

A Letter to my S.H.E. Sista

Introduction: A Letter to my S.H.E. Sista

Date: Past

Time: Many moons ago

Hey Sista,

Guess what?! I looked in the mirror today. Ugh! So many thoughts running through my head. Why do you have to look like that? Why couldn’t you be prettier with a flawless figure? You’re so dark, with a big nose and soup-cooler lips! I can see why most of your boyfriends cheated on you in the past! Hmmm…I could not stop beating myself up over my appearance. Let’s not even start on what I have been through; that would just be too much to talk about right now.

I am hurting!! I do not know where to begin.

Sincerely,

Me

Date: Present

Time: Now

Sista...

Those crazy thoughts continue to run through my head when I look at myself in the mirror. It’s the moment I started trying to wear make-up. I thought I could cover up my ugliness. The more I stared, the more I packed on, hoping somehow to change the reflection in the mirror. And I did! My thinking became worse; it was so bad, I scrubbed off all the make-up, looked at myself in the mirror, and whispered, You have to start over. My covering was uglier than my natural face.

I stood there staring at myself, looking at every inch of myself, wondering, "Why did God make me look like this? How can I make this better? My reflection of myself was tainted by the negative words I told myself daily. Have you ever done that before? Just think about it. When you gaze in the mirror, were you always able to love the reflection you saw? Did you speak kind words of inspiration, or did you say negative things about yourself, thinking you were realistic? Well… Have you?

I am writing this letter to you, Sista, to help you understand that our reflections are just your own perception of what you THINK we see. Though we may see negativity, God sees the beauty! When I saw myself, I saw a reflection of S.H.E. Someone Sad, Helpless, and Empty (S.H.E). I looked at the mirror again, and a Sad, Helpless, Empty girl was staring back at me. If you look in the mirror, what S.H.E. do you see? Your S.H.E. will be different from my S.H.E. because we all have experienced different things in life.

You are reading this because of God’s ultimate plan for your life. I have prayed that you receive God’s power in a mighty way if you are willing to join me on this journey. Though it may take time, your S.H.E. journey will empower you to understand your Freer S.H.E.

I’m sure you’re wondering: "How exactly will I find my S.H.E.? Well, S.H.E. reflects who you are. It is a combination of three main characteristics that guide you through your day. Throughout this journey, we will explore variations of S.H.E., using an acronym approach to allow us to explore each reflection. As women, we maintain many responsibilities simultaneously. Therefore, it is only right we show how S.H.E. can be defined in various ways.

This journey will include stories, scriptures, and strategies; it will also allow you to develop your own Freer S.H.E. defined by your life experiences. Though my journey started when I was in a dark place in life, it continues with the Joy of the Lord.