What You Have in Mind Is the Life You Find

By Olin Joseph Tunnell

How many times have you heard someone say:

This is killing me.

Its breaking my heart.

I cant stand this any longer.

My life is over.

Im getting sick of this.

and many other self-destructive comments.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Jul 16, 2015
• ISBN: 9781503584341

Olin Joseph Tunnell

Olin Tunnell encourages readers to become aware of the connection between their thinking and their behavior. As an ordained United Methodist minister with Bachelor and Master degrees he is also maintaining Texas licenses for Clinical Social Work and Chemical Dependency Counseling. In his newest book, he provides many illustrations of how our thoughts, words, and feelings can affect our lives. He includes dreams, short stories, poetry, and personal reflections to underscore that “What You Have In Mind Is The Life You Find.” His first book was Searching Ashes for Burning Embers. His second was My April Fool Wives, which is about divorce and recovery. Excerpts from all three books are available on his website at www.olintunnell.com

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Copyright © 2015 by Olin Joseph Tunnell.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

Rev. date: 07/15/2015

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Contents

Introduction

The Church of Disillusionment

Illusion of Self-Centered Identity

Where Do Illusions Begin?

The Devil at the Camp Meeting

Reflections and Moving On

The Question Mark

Who Am I?

If We Fall in Love, Will We Still Be Friends?

Intimacy or Hook-Love

Alcohol and Drugs Support Illusions

An Unfinished Story

Another Story to Think About

Confronting the Reality of Death

The Mysteries of Death and Dying

The Illusions of Retirement

Retirement Response

The Shock of Bad Choices

Past and Present

What’s Next?

I’m Dreaming Again

Introduction

The title of this book was originally intended only as part of my home answering machine. My voice said the words when the answering machine answered the phone call. . I added, Think it over, and while you’re thinking about it, leave your name and phone number, and I’ll call you back as soon as possible. People would leave messages, but one time, someone called the wrong number and was troubled by my message. He hung up and called back a second time. His voice sounded angry but also like he had been drinking alcohol. He expressed his anger about the message. I was surprised by this reaction because I had intended to be inspirational and had been inspired by the message of Jesus encouraging his followers for a new life. When I thought about it more, I decided to keep the message on my phone because more people seemed to appreciate it than were agitated.

When I’m home, I never answer the landline phone but listen for the messages being left. Most of my friends reach me by cell phone, and most of the calls at home are usually computer sales and disconnect quickly. Occasionally, I am told that my answer caused the listener to reflect on life-changing possibilities and make new goals.

When I was deciding on a title for my third book, I was struggling in the process of making a decision. I considered calling it The Dreams of an Old Man. I suspected that few young people would be interested in reading further. After all, young people don’t think about being old and don’t often appear encouraged by advice and counsel of senior citizens. I remember my youth and never imagined being old.

My oldest son’s wife expressed to me how much my answering machine had meant to her and that she thinks about it at different times when she is making decisions. She thought it would be a good title, and I agreed. Much of what I want to share has to do with being sensitive to our perceptions and the daily choices we are making.

Think about it. What you have in mind is the life you’ll find. While you’re thinking about it, consider all the negative expressions that are often part of our daily existence.

We are asked to do a chore that is aggravating and not at all enjoyable, and we make comments like, This is killing me. We can choose to correct ourselves and say, I’m not enjoying this, but I’m going to do my best to get it done and move on to what I do enjoy.

We can become sensitive to our negative expressions and stop making statements that are calling for the affliction of ourselves. Remember, what we have in our minds does influence our thinking, and we all live in a world of our own perceptions.

Hopefully, this book will influence the reader to be more sensitive to many of the common expressions that can be avoided for better health and mental attitudes.

The first section of the book was stimulated by a dream that resulted in more introspection than I had imagined possible at the time. Things we say can sometimes have a profound negative influence on our thinking. Remember that we are always capable of changing our perceptions and discovering greater appreciation for the time we are living.

As you read my reflections on personal experience with the addition of short stories, poems, and interpretations included, consider the choices you are making regarding your own living habits and the future you are creating for yourself. What you think does reflect the kind of life you are living. You are the only one with the freedom and power to make choices about how you live.

As you continue reading, keep in mind that there is a sequence from beginning to end. This is even true with the poetry and short stories included. The sequence is intended to encourage discovering blessings in disillusionment and raising the level of expectation from the life you have in mind.

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The Church of Disillusionment

My Welcome to You

Are you prepared to worship God with me in the Church of Disillusionment? Do you even understand what I’m talking about? I’m ready to welcome you into the congregation, but unless you are truly ready, you will feel that the experience is dull and uninviting. If that should appear to be the situation, you will have started searching for illusion to entertain you and will have quickly exited the sanctuary.

The journey to find this place of worship is never easy, and I am pleased that you’ve made it this far. There are always difficulties. If you asked directions, you probably made several wrong turns. I made quite a few myself, and I was supposed to know the way. Now, I am grateful that we may have a chance to worship together.

I must confess that I can also lose my place inside from the distraction of an illusion. There is also the risk of falling asleep and getting lost even though dreams often open doors that might otherwise remain closed. It was a dream that helped me discover the Church of Disillusionment, and I share my story in the hope that we will worship together.

The Dream

I was distributing leaflets in a very congested part of the city when I saw a magnificent church building. It was so beautiful that I was surprised that many people were passing without noticing. I couldn’t resist entering, and when I did, I found myself in a very crowded sanctuary.

While I searched for a seat, it didn’t seem like I was disrupting worship in any way. Actually, no one seemed to notice me, and I wasn’t identified as a stranger.

There was an atmosphere of celebration that seemed more like a festive party than a traditional worship service. I might have felt at home in the party environment except that no one seemed to care about my being there. I also felt out of place because everyone else appeared in costume and wearing masks.

One lady was talking constantly and wore a mask with a large open mouth and no visible ears. She only seemed to listen to other people for purposes of organizing her next dissertation. She could have benefited from a hearing aid if she really cared about accurately translating the communication efforts of other people. Instead, there were only brief pauses from her babbling.

One man wore a mask with closed eyes and an angry frown. He constantly grimaced, and while he seemed to be listening to every spoken word, he was consistently interpreting negative messages. The tightness of his mask made a smile impossible.

One person looked shocked with puckered lips that suggested shame. Her head was tilted downward, and she frequently dabbed her eyes as if trying to prevent the flow of tears. Occasionally, she would shake her head and moan or sigh.

There was a man or woman who wore a painted smile and the countenance of a clown. Sexual identity was not disclosed through the gaudy costume, which also left an observer wondering about authentic emotional movement hiding beneath the bizarre display of clashing colors. I was less amused than I was curious. There were awkward moods from silly simplicity to dreadful dismay.

I looked around to see if there was a minister with whom I could address my concerns. I saw an elegantly robed man who was absorbed in the performance of ritual while facing an altar. When he turned toward the congregation, I was shocked to discover that he was also wearing a mask and that he seemed liturgically insulated from the crowded sanctuary.

I felt angry and saddened by the costumes and masks and the lack of attention to real human needs. Pretense and performance disturbed me so much that I wanted to leave. Then, as I was about to exit, I passed a mirror, reflecting a mask on me.

I didn’t look at all like I expected to appear. My ears were much larger, and my eyes were bulging. My mouth was open but not like I was wanting to speak. It seemed that I was trying to swallow, but my throat was too shallow and small for much to enter. My tongue was swishing back and forth as if searching for something to taste that wasn’t being found.

My head was shaking so vigorously that only a blurred vision could be provided. The rest of my body wasn’t visible in the mirror because my head was so large. Starvation and death would be inevitable while remaining as I appeared. I decided to leave the mirror and return to the sanctuary.

The congregation was standing and reciting a modern version of the Apostle’s Creed. It was difficult for me to participate while observing so many blank expressions on the faces of those reciting. I wondered if some had removed their customary masks for the affirmation. I realized that the idea of unmasking might only be an act of replacing one with another. We maintain the illusions that are most comfortable, and our masks represent whatever current illusion is dominant.

Now that I am thinking, I suspect I have changed masks and may appear sagelike with one hand stroking a bearded chin while pondering questions invading my mind. Thinking can be a distraction during habitual routines, but this should not be true for regular worship.

It was time for the minister to present a sermon. I didn’t expect traditionl preaching. Most of the churches I visited were accustomed to short messages that never aroused any emotion among the listeners. I jokingly referred to these presentations as microwave sermons. It was almost like grabbing canned food in the kitchen. It was predictable and was always no longer than twelve to fifteen minutes. I never recognized much pleasure in a congregation other than being happy to depart by noon in order to more quickly arrive at their favorite restaurant.

The minister stood behind the podium with a broad smile on his face. The smile appeared painted red and unrealistically large like that of the traditional circus clown face. He reached into a lighted box, which was remarkably similar to a microwave, and began tossing frisbee like disks into the congregation while shouting, Rejoice, for the Word of the Lord is coming to you.

People were rising up and enthusiasticly catching the disks. I was able to see one of them that fell near my feet, but a young man slid across the floor to retrieve it before I could pick it up. I did see that there was scripture printed, but I didn’t have time to read it. I looked over to the woman sitting next to me who was wearing a smiling mask with a tongue hanging out and humming what sounded like Yum, yum. I was able to observe that her disk had the words, God will take care of you. In addition to these words was an attached coupon for a free lunch at