Surviving Oakland: A Reflective Journey Into Finding My Truth

By Ameenah Adcock

Surviving Oakland is a story of Minah's self-discovering journey living in East Oakland, California. Artists like MC Hammer, Tupac, and NWA forever changed the rap world with their amazing lyrics and unique sound. Minah, having a sibling who performed with Digital Underground, ha

• Language: English
• Publisher: Book Power Publishing
• Release date: Sep 30, 2021
• ISBN: 9781945873539

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Surviving Oakland, A Reflective Journey Into Finding My Truth

Copyright © 2021 by Aminah Adcock

Published in the United States by Book Power Publishing, an imprint of Niyah Press, Detroit, Michigan.

No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission except in the case of brief quotations.

Book Power Publishing Books may be purchased for educational, business, or sales promotion use. For study groups, email us at [e-mail].

Contact the author at: [e-mail]

First Edition

PRINTED IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA

ISBN: 978-1-945873-51-5

ISBN:

Detroit, Michigan

Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2    My Silence

Chapter 3    In the Beginning: Searching for an Identity

Chapter 4    Don’t Come for Me

Chapter 5    Cultural Familiar

Chapter 6    Who are You?

Chapter 7    The Fabric of a City

Chapter 8    Spoken Word

Chapter 9    Low Self Esteem, Social Isolation

Chapter 10    Human Rage

Chapter 11    My Guiding Lights

Chapter 12    Reminding Me

Author Biography

Acknowledgements

Glossary

References

Chapter 1

Dear Aminah,

I’m writing this letter of apology to you in the sincerest way that I know. I was waiting for you to fail in everything you set out to achieve in your life but you surprised me with your commitment to persevere! Your faith in the Most High is undeniable. People like to be around you and your positive energy, just in case you never knew that.

With the obvious attempt to drag you down in your character, to influence others’ perceptions of you, I allowed the untamed invisible force from within to suggest dividing us, which caused you to behave outside of your true self. I crippled you into thinking it was OK to be mediocre by wearing your feelings on your sleeve and appearing as the weakest link.

I was victorious in throwing your disability in your face to expose the hurt and pain you went through as an excuse not to excel or dream, as if your disability was your fault! I made you feel ashamed of your condition with my suggestions that you were not competitive and made you believe that you were out of your league.

I need you to hear me speak my apologies to you; I apologize to you for neglecting to stand up for you. I admit, in 2004, when you earned your real estate license, I was envious of this great accomplishment. I remember the level of excitement you had and the determination to close your first deal, but I too was laser-focused on reminding you of that heavy load you were carrying for years, and I made sure that you became aware that I called the shots.

You made an effort to block the burden of an unhappy marriage by busying yourself, and building yourself up to be a boss, thinking that you would not need to address the challenges in your marriage. I got along very well with him. If we both could keep you miserable, we had you right where we wanted you. In fact, had you permitted me to remain in your life, you would have stayed in that marriage and I would have never met Aminah.

Aminah, you were the only friend that I had. I was aware of the dreams you had in life and the many things that you aspired to achieve in your life, such as becoming a professional dancer, the love you have for singing, and the aspiration to write.

When you had your children, I was so proud of you. I remember the joy you experienced when you first gazed upon your first son, Al’Ameen, when he finally came into the world after nine hours of labor. I also recall the relief as well. I kept thinking, "she took it like a G.’’ Your life: you held on, as you gave birth to two more baby boys, Yahya and Yeheshua, and that discipline coupled with your endurance of what Allah had planned for you was inspiring. I knew that you were a strong woman.

I realized that I had been suppressing this in you. Although it may look as if you were the weakest link on more than a few occasions throughout your journey, this was far from the truth.The introverted, observant, reflective, and studious person that you are, speaks volumes to the level of your intellect. My admiration for you is to assist you in your decisions because you have my support, 100 percent. I always pray that you can forgive me, Aminah. As someone who knows your strengths and so-called weaknesses, the truth is, even though you are my twin, I always wanted to be like you in character and spirit.Your strengths outweighed any so-called weaknesses.

I apologize most for co-signing with those that wanted to dim your light as if you didn’t exist. I should have shown you support to assure you that I had your back when others would talk bad about you. You have consistently turned to Allah in your path, your strong foundation was too firm for me to try to break you. By speaking up for you, I would have spoken up for myself.

When I look in the mirror, I’m looking at my reflection and I’m proud to say that I have grown from Minah into Aminah.

Sincerely,

Your twin, Minah.

True power is the key factor in the determination of Identity, which is the individual’s relationship to actual power. In an oppressive social system, one’s identity is either that of the oppressor or that of the oppressed.

—Dr. Francis Cress Welsing.

The Isis Paper: The Keys to the Colors (p. 240). Washington DC, 1991. CW Publishing.

Chapter 2

My Silence

Desensitizing is to make someone less likely to feel the shock of the distress of cruelty, violence, or suffering by overexposure to such images, or to free someone from a phobia of neurosis by gradually exposing the person to the thing that is feared. (encyclopedia.com)

Memories followed me until I had to have a conversation with the very individuals who had projected and inflicted their pain on me. It was like forcing one piece of a million part puzzle into an area where it didn’t belong. This memory of exploitation showed up in my life to remind me of the stains of shame, indecency, and complacency in remaining voiceless.

I admired some of my peers in the community who knew how to use their voices on matters of social injustice. I learned from them what uplifting women actually looked like and how to build a legacy. I knew how powerful I could be when I was around certain people; a select few who assured me that I was in a safe space to