After the Vows: A Guide to a Better Love After the Vows
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About this ebook
After speaking to many people with failed marriages, broken relationships that are struggling to survive, I have found a common theme to be true and that is, that once the high is gone so is the relationship. Why is that? After the vows explores what typically happens after we say “I do.”
This book will provide guidance and advice that will help couples look a little deeper into their relationships and do the necessary work it takes to change the outcome.
After the vows combines a wealth of Christian principles and wisdom to overcome getting stuck in a relationship rut. Through self-reflection, exercises on finances, intimacy, sex, and communication we hope that this book will inspire all couples to have a victorious marriage.
Dr. Dorreth Goldson-Todman
The Author Dr. Dorreth Goldson-Todman and co-author Keturah Goldson-Dorn wrote this book to empower and strengthen couples across the globe. We deal with Topics such as Being Honest with oneself, Biblical Foundation of Marriage, And how one must deal with their Issues.
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After the Vows - Dr. Dorreth Goldson-Todman
Copyright © 2021 Dr. Dorreth Goldson-Todman Keturah Goldson-Dorn.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means,
graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by
any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author
except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.
WestBow Press
A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan
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views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.
Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,
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Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.
ISBN: 978-1-6642-1646-4 (sc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-1645-7 (hc)
ISBN: 978-1-6642-1647-1 (e)
Library of Congress Control Number: 2020924916
WestBow Press rev. date: 01/19/2021
Scripture quotations marked (GNT) are from the Good News
Translation in Today’s English Version- Second Edition Copyright
© 1992 by American Bible Society. Used by Permission.
Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New
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Scripture marked (KJV) taken from the King James Version of the Bible.
Scripture marked (ASV) taken from the American Standard Version of the Bible.
Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from the ESV® Bible (The Holy Bible,
English Standard Version®), copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing
ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture marked (NKJV) taken from the New King James Version®. Copyright
© 1982 by Thomas Nelson. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living
Translation, copyright ©1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation.
Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, a Division of Tyndale
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Scripture quotations marked (NASB) taken from the New American Standard
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1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission. www.Lockman.org
CONTENTS
Foreword
Recommendation, Reflection, Personal Testimony
Introduction
Chapter 1 The Chase
Chapter 2 Where Did the Romance Go?
Chapter 3 Why Marriages Break?
Chapter 4 The Biblical Foundation of Marriage
Chapter 5 Keeping It Hot
Chapter 6 Married but Single
Chapter 7 Be Honest with Yourself
Chapter 8 Keeping It 100
Chapter 9 Deal with Your Issues First
Chapter 10 Living a Victorious Marriage
Chapter 11 You Have Already Left
Chapter 12 Prayer and Declarations for Marriage
Bibliography
About the Authors
DEDICATION
To marriages across the world.
To God I give all the glory, honor, and praise and
Who has inspired me to write this book.
My Shekinah Glory Outreach Intl Family.
My husband, Apostle Dr. Alpheus Todman, the love of my life,
and my four amazing children—
Kedan Goldson, Keturah Goldson-Dorn,
Keryan Armstrong, and Jamal Goldson.
And to my children’s amazing life partners as
well as my amazing grandchildren.
FOREWORD
I had the privilege of meeting this awesome woman of God over sixteen years ago in one of the ministries where God assigned her to serve while preparing for her ministry and passion. She was always a front-row person with the mindset that wherever God leads, she will follow. I was also following the leading of the Lord, who divinely brought us together for purpose and destiny.
I saw destiny and purpose in her. I also knew the favor of God was upon her life. She is a trailblazer who empowered and opened so many doors of opportunity. When the time was right, I took a leap of faith and asked her to marry me. When the Lord gave her the okay, I became the love of her life. She became my bride and queen, and I made a vow to love her for the rest of her life. It is only fitting for me to write the foreword on her behalf.
Why did God choose Apostle Dorreth G. Todman to write this book in this time and season? The answer is because she is the best person to write about this subject after officiating at many weddings and counseling many. I have seen so many marriages fall apart. I watched her pray and cry out to God on behalf of couples, asking God, What is going on after the vows?
This book was born out of her pain for the ones who lost (lack) the love and affection, the chase that was there before the vows.
The Lord placed this book in her spirit. Everyone can benefit from this book, even those who think things have gone too far. This book provides the necessary tools to help keep your marriage hot and sizzling if you follow the guidelines.
I will end with the chase in chapter 1. To chase is to pursue; you must constantly pursue the love of your life. Wonderful book, my love. I am very proud to be your husband, and I am glad you are my wife. Love you very much, and thank you for letting God use you. You are no stranger to this book; you have lived this book. May the wind of God take this book to the four corners of the world.
Love you forever!
Apostle Dr. Alpheus Todman
RECOMMENDATION,
REFLECTION, PERSONAL
TESTIMONY
Recommendation
I had the privilege of serving under the leadership of Dr. Apostle Dorreth Goldson-Todman for the past five years. In these years, I have seen God move on her life. She is a mighty woman of God and a force to be reckoned with. She is not just a leader but someone who leads by example. She is not satisfied with accepting or allowing anyone to be mediocre when they can be exceptional.
Dr. Todman believes that our love lives can be exceptional, and that is why she wrote this book to encourage single and married people. To the singles she gives insight into the issues that plague marriages. And she challenges married couples to put the fire back into their love lives.
One of the things I love about this book is that it challenges you to look deeper into who you are, or believe to be, in order to face the challenges head-on. It requires total honesty with oneself and with one’s spouse without placing blame and judgment. But the author does not leave you exposed or uncovered. She provides practical solutions that you and your spouse can use to build and sustain your marriage.
I encourage everyone to read this book because it gives heavenly perspective on what godly and healthy marriages should be.
Prophetess Nicky Castle
Reflection
As I reflect on this book, the words poignant,
fascinating,
and intriguing
come to mind. I find this author to be an anointed servant of God, well-equipped for kingdom business. The contents of this book will truly challenge