Unmask to Rediscovery: Loving the Unlovable Forgiving the Unforgivable

By Karen Grant-Thomas

The way to transform oneself is by doing the inner work. In “UNMASK TO REDISCOVERY”, the autobiography written by Karen G Thomas; you are taken on the journey of unmasking while given the tools needed to apply this methodology in your own life.

The author skillfully tackles the issues of abuse in society and how each of us have a part to play. The story takes you on an emotional journey through anger, unforgiveness and love. The concept that who we are is a direct correlation with our environments and how we submit, or change is based on our inner work. All these are demonstrated as the authors life unravels in each chapter.

The settings take place in many countries displaying the experiences of a young girl’s journey to adulthood. Throughout the book the principle that “real change starts on the inside” and “you can’t change what you don’t acknowledge” is woven beautifully into the thread on each page.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Oct 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9781973698012

Karen Grant-Thomas

Canadian author Karen G Thomas known for her consistent smile reveals the dark secrets held inside in her new book “Unmask To Rediscovery”. A journey through abuse and how she was able to RECOVER by doing the work of “UNMASKING” from within. She uses her professional leadership skills and life lessons coupled with the principles of God in developing the unmask methodology. She will tell you that each day offers you new choices and all things can work together for your good if you believe. Leaving you with her favorite saying, BE YOU-DO YOU-LOVE YOU!

Book preview

Copyright © 2020 Karen G Thomas.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the author except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author

and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of

the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of

people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

1663 Liberty Drive

Bloomington, IN 47403

www.westbowpress.com

844-714-3454

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or

links contained in this book may have changed since publication and

may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those

of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Scripture quotations marked (KJV) taken from the King James Version of the Bible.

ISBN: 978-1-9736-9802-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-9736-9801-2 (e)

WestBow Press rev. date: 10/27/2020

In

loving memory of my grandmother who is now in heaven,

Maudline Morgan

I thank my husband and children for being there as

I work through this process while allowing me to

explore the many emotions it took me through.

I dedicate this book to:

Those that have lost their voice at no fault of their own.

Those that live in constant fear of losing their life to an

abuser or have lost their lives at the hands of an abuser

Those that have been knocked down over

and over but keep getting up

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1     You Are Not Alone

Chapter 2     Generations

Chapter 3     Misrepresentation

Chapter 4     Shhh\The Family Secret

Chapter 5     Sundown

Chapter 6     Her-Story

Chapter 7     The Monster in My Closet

Chapter 8     Stolen Innocence

Chapter 9     The Aftermath

Chapter 10   What’s in a Smile

Chapter 11   Who Speaks For Us

Chapter 12   Building 711

Chapter 13   Uncorking the Bottle

Chapter 14   To Speak Or Not To Speak

Chapter 15   To Forgive Or Not To Forgive

Chapter 16   The Forgotten

Chapter 17   Unmasking

Bonus Tools For Your Toolkit

Abuse Resources:

About The Author

INTRODUCTION

I write with the understanding that this needs to be written for at least one person. I write with the understanding that this is not for everyone. I write with the understanding that this concept is not new. I understand the words and language that I use will reach someone who cannot be reached by another who has written with the same concept using different words. I write knowing there is someone out there who needs to hear what I have to say, waiting for my words and with the same understanding there are others out there whom my words will not reach. And so, I encourage you also to write. For those that I cannot reach, YOU WILL reach. I ask, as you read this, if you recognize this is not for you, don’t just put it on the shelf and leave it. Instead, you will gift it to someone who may be in need of hearing these words.

LET’S UNMASK

Together we will explore ways of moving from a place of shame to vulnerability in a safe way. We will also explore the similarities among us and how secrets and shame not only isolate but bring on unnecessary sickness. You will be given tools to work towards mastering some essential techniques which are crucial to unmasking.

I wrote this book not to only tell my story but to also bring us face to face with our demons. To show you the only way of being free is to first unmask.

As a sexual abuse thriver, my secrets are many. Yet, there is an amazing thing that happens when you become clear and aware. We have all heard the saying, knowledge is power. Proverbs 18:15 says, "The heart of the prudent getteth knowledge; and the ear of the wise seeketh knowledge." As soon as my spirit, my head and my heart became clear about my past, my present and how to get to purpose became a lot clearer. My life changed (entrusting me with some positive and some negative outcomes) and so did my purpose in life.

I would be remiss if I did not introduce you to some facts. Sexual abuse affects 1 in 4 girls before the age of 18 and is only based on those reported. We also know most victims do not report … so, you do the math. Most people are unaware that these stats are worse than cancer, AIDS or suicide. In today’s society, we pay so much attention to how things look, we lose sight of how people feel.

By sharing my story with you—outlining how I was able to move from victim to teacher—I hope you will not only be encouraged but also become more aware.

Nothing changes by a snap of a finger. It takes commitment to the process and to yourself. The ability to center oneself and tune into the still voice which guides. What it looks like today can look differently tomorrow if you allow God to guide and be of comfort.

I hope that those who have been silenced reclaim their voice becoming stronger than they can imagine. Lose the shame and begin to free yourself by speaking your truth.

Let’s work to improve our school system—making it a safer place for our children to have a voice and to seek help.

What you are about to read in this book is not only thought-provoking but also life-changing if you are willing to do the work. The results are proven; the fact that this book exists is proof enough that unmasking is not a death sentence. If you follow the principles I reveal in this book, your life will change for the better. You will experience real authenticity while making moves towards the life you were intended to live. The goal is for God to get the glory out of me-us.

I pray you will challenge yourself while reading. Most importantly, I pray you will know yourself in a deeper way. I pray you will embrace the fact that there is work to be done in all of us while accepting the work. I pray you will smile at your flaws which make you who you are … for there can be no other you.

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CHAPTER ONE

You Are Not Alone

I have been a reader of biographies for many years, and I have yet to find a successful person whose life was free from problems and difficulties.

~ Warren W. Wiersbe, The Bumps

Are What You Climb On

A s the dusk settled within her she realized that ten years had passed, and she had not moved. She was ten years older and there were many changes around her; yet she had not moved. Where she lived was bigger and brighter, but she had not moved. No movement, though things had changed around her.

Her heart began to beat faster and faster as she examined the room of people around her. It was loud, yet there was no sound. The tightness in her chest seemed unbearable as she clutched her overly priced knock off designer purse.

She tried to talk herself out of what she was feeling. Sit, stand, Oh God, I can’t breathe. She moved her hands inside her pockets in fear of someone seeing how wet and clammy they were. I need a sweater, better yet a jacket, oh please let it stop.

She shook her head and blinked a few times while holding her breath in hopes of shaking the feeling that had come over her.

She crossed her longs legs with the intent of appearing in control. Her face took on a professional look—you know the one—the one you do when in a meeting trying to appear on the same wave as the presenter. Words began to dance across the highway of her mind as she blinked repeatedly to ensure she was making each person out with accuracy. Some moved fast, some slow … all appeared to have meaning and no meaning at the same time.

Was it a certain word or phrase or was it just time?

She had been walking around in a grown woman’s body though on the inside still a child. She was stuck; stuck mentally and emotionally unaware.

Connecting the dots was not going to be easy. Making the transition was going to be a task that required her to be totally committed and yet commitment was not a strength of hers.

Several thoughts were playing hockey inside her head; back and forth —good and bad—yes and no. She took a deep breath recognizing that this needed lots of attention unlike before. Another piece of the puzzle had been revealed without her recognizing it was missing.

She gathered herself, engaged in her present environment and made a mental note that she would need to dig deeper at a later time.

The only way out is through.

-Robert Frost

For several weeks she walked around evaluating her new reality. Each phrase spoken; each move made. At times it would be exhausting—every pull and tug on each brain circuits—like a car in need of a tune-up really bad. Moving along smoothly one minute and then suddenly a drag or jolt indicating that something is wrong but willing to go on.

Was I the only person who was living like this? Did anyone else notice? She was determined to do the work, understanding that the work was going to be lonely. Yes, very lonely—she could not speak of this to anyone—that’s how she felt. A change was needed, better yet, required in order to shake the demons off her life. Ok God, she said, asking Him for some