Standing on My Knees: A Paraplegic's Story

By Pinkstone

The Gentleman seemed to have been reliving a tragic accident, not being able to remember any of its details. The ongoing frightening memories, the sense of constant danger, numbness & disconnect made for any hopes of a mental & physical, recovery nearly impossible; because, The Gentlemen woke up one day, a Paraplegic.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Apr 6, 2020
• ISBN: 9781728358116

Pinkstone

Pinkstone is a published author of several books/titles. She has been a self published author since 2007 and later revised her first book on 2015. She is a previous business owner and communications associate, she currently spends her time writing, public speaking and collecting art.

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2020 Pinkstone. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 04/06/2020

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5812-3 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-5811-6 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

NKJV

Scripture quotations marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Contents

Synopsis

At the Beginning Was Peace

On Top of the Hill

Love Never Felt So Bad

Innermost Feelings

Healing

Silence amongst the Noise

The Memory Blank

Time on My Hands

My Value and My Worth

What’s Next?

Epilogue

Acknowledgments

References

Synopsis

M y dear friend, The Gentleman is living the life of a paraplegic. It is a life that is very different and difficult, as one would actually imagine. I wrote this book because I want to share with the world an understanding of a day, a week, a month, a year in the life of a paraplegic and how living with a spinal cord injury or without the use of a vital limb or two can affect more than an individual’s body. The body is one thing, but the total conception of a human being in respects to the mind, the soul and the spirit can be a whole resurrection on another l evel.

Living with the stigma of a wheelchair can be physically and psychologically brutal but things can and do change over time. There are moments when one can feel like an alien has taken over his/her body, and that everyday there is an essential crisis, but the feeling of being forced to live a whole life within an inadequate body does dissolve and apart from the highs and lows, that we all eventually experience, life for the paraplegic begins to get good again.

A paraplegic can live independently and can choose to be a complete or incomplete human being. I want the world to see and know that there are many, like my friend, The Gentleman, who live their lives like any other individual. He or she will go about usual tasks, shower, brush his/her teeth, eat a breakfast or, in many cases, drive off to work.

Many paraplegic’s become interested in activities like online dating, sports, community involvement and find ways of putting themselves back out into the world again. They learn to put their fears aside and life becomes challenging, alive and fun.

I met this gentleman on a busy city street in Baltimore, Maryland when he was 45 years old. He shared with me details of his tragic accident that happened, while he was driving to work one day and how it changed his life. As I began to know him, I promised that one day, I would write his story. We have been friends for well over fifteen years and this is his story.

This book is dedicated to The Gentleman and his wonderful family and to all the people of the world, who have and will experience uncontrollable events and devastating changes in their lives. My prayer is that we, as mere human beings, will continue to be mentally and spiritually strong enough to embrace fate and grow beyond that which is unknown to us. May God bless us and may Heaven smile upon us, today and throughout eternity.

For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office. So we, being many, are one body in Christ and every one members one of another. Having then gifts differing according to the grace that is given to us, whether prophecy, let us prophesy according to the proportion of faith;—

Romains 12:4-6 (NKJV)

At the Beginning Was Peace

But if any provide not for his own, and especially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.

—1 Timothy 5:8 (NKJV)

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T he Gentleman is now fifty-seven, and after much soul-searching, strengthening of the spirit, praying, and overcoming, he is ready to reveal how it all began. His mother is from South Carolina and his father from Alabama. There were true Holy Spirit manifestations through the laughter in his words, when he bragged about being a country boy at heart. He began a rather arduous tasks of texting much information concerning his younger years. He texted that his mother worked two jobs to add to the family’s income because there were many children to provide for—and that it was some time after his parents were married that, his father became disabled. He recalled that there were days when his mother ate less so he and his younger brothers and sisters could eat. There are three boys and three girls, and he is the eldest. They were each born in Florida, and his mother was one to adamantly refused welfare. Their family is a close, dedicated, loyal, and hardworking family. He remembered the love that they each shared for one another. They looked out for each other; they stil l do.

It is something to be said of children who grow up in greenery, surrounded by small societies where they have the opportunity and ability to interact with those folk, who share the beauty and experiences, of similar backgrounds. The emerging of huge, developing societies have brought absence from leisure that seem to take away quality time spent with family and church, robbing us of the innocence of youth and the promise of real unity in a world that has shown itself, at times, to be cold and distant. Today, many of us are not familiar with our neighbors and are unaware of the occupations, the hard honest working habits, family sizes, or religious backgrounds of people who may live right next door. We have formed bridges and have isolated ourselves in our own private societies, communities, and houses, and yet we consider ourselves the great melting pot of Americans, riddled with landscapes of prejudice and discriminatory practices towards average human beings, especially those of color, class, political affiliations, religion, sexual orientation, not to mention, the terminally ill and disfigured, as well as, the disabled. Looking inside of a good, clean mirror is an action that would do us all, a bit of good.

It was around 1967 when the gentleman, at ten years old, remembered his mother and father raising and teaching them to know God, largely, through attendance and participation in the neighboring church. The name of the church was called God by Faith. It was a holiness church that they enjoyed as a family unit. Holiness churches evolved around the, 19th century. Holiness believed that sins can be washed away and forgiven so that the believer can begin to live a holiness life. He and his family would visit the church on Wednesday nights, Friday night, and on Sundays. Sometimes they didn’t get home until after 10:00 p.m., but, nonetheless; they were happy to worship. At the time, they didn’t have a car, so they’d have to walk. Many times, while the other children were playing, he and his other siblings would be attending church. He said that they didn’t mind. It was time spent that the family used, to worship and fellowship outside of their modest home. He also said that those who served, as the authority figures and overseers in respects to the duties performed around the church, would welcome their father to clean the church. Because their father was disabled, he and his brothers were there to assist, in any and every capacity that they could. He described working in the church, alongside his father and siblings, as a joyous occasion and a beautiful thing to have done. His father’s name was Roosevelt. He was born and grew up in Alabama, where he worked in the fields most of his childhood. He worked the orange groves, taking care of the groves by way of water and fertilization. Mr. Roosevelt moved to Florida and married his mother. They had three boys and three girls in their union. While he and his siblings were growing up, they noticed that their dad began to experience complications because of diabetes, a disease in which your blood glucose or blood sugar levels are too high. One day some workers found his dad, lying in the grove in a comatose state. Because of his father’s uncontrollable diabetes, his father was unable to continue working. He added that they’d have to keep candy around so that when his father’s sugar would get low, he’d eat the sweets in order to balance his blood sugar levels. He said that growing up with a disabled father, made him a better person as he was always extremely proud of his efforts to assist his father in any and every capacity that was warranted or deemed necessary. He said that he loved going to church and that he, particularly, enjoyed watching the abundance of pretty girls that were members of his church, as well. His mother was the director of the youth choir, so he was always surrounded by lots of pretty, talented girls, and although plenty of opportunity was well at hand, he respected the positions of his parents to have ever done otherwise.

The house they lived in was a home that his father and mother rented. It was a small modest home in a town called Lake Wales. Lake Wales is a city in Polk County, Florida, located in the United States. It is found near the very center of the Florida Peninsula. It is west of Lake Kissimmee and east of Tampa Florida, making it a rather humid and subtropical area to live. There was a modest acre of land beside the house that he proudly texted that he and his siblings, along with their parents, diligently cultivated. They’d clear the land of undergrowth, small trees, and shrubs. He scribbled that his mother and father planted and grew collard greens, corn, beans, peas, squash, and cabbage. They would work for hours in the garden keeping it clear of brush. His father would share the food with the neighbors and others; he emphasized that it was the sharing of home-grown foods; those foods warmed many hearts, touched by his family’s kindness.

Today, many of us have gone back to those days of planting gardens, making it a point to buy fresh foods from farmers or organic foods from local community markets. Many folks have accomplished private vegetable gardens, as well as, developed the means to continually educate themselves on the most needed essential, such as seed spacing, irrigation, soil types and timing. Backyard gardening is inspiring as it gravitates one to an interest in the origin of food and the ability to make better health choices about what one chooses to consume in his/her bodies.

His father loved to garden. He often shared with them the importance of gardening and how gardening was a way that they could learn to respect other living things and a way to develop an appreciation that the goodness that nature brings to all living things. Gardening is a way to encourage every human being to develop the skill of nurturing and caring for life. Plants are, after all, living and breathing things. In order to bring health, by way of creating, a space for people to gather, socialize, learn, and enjoy life as a community, The gentleman, his family, and close neighbors and friends ate abundantly from the love that came out of his father’s garden. For them, sharing their garden was a way to contribute to transformative activities and connect souls. They had fun working in the garden, and they learned a lot about themselves and the people around them. While spending quality time and moments of conversing, working toward several goals, and following the guidance of his loving and caring parents, as the years came and went and after much prayer, things became better for the family and for many of his neighbors, as well. For him, those memories of his father’s garden, acted as a gentle reminder that there is more in the connection of humans to the world and in doing so, we should all be encouraged to draw from the power of the great outdoors.

The Gentleman recalled the year 1967, when he was only ten years old. He said life was difficult for them, and he remembered