Love Beyond Innocence

By Pinkstone

By now, the gravediggers were waiting for the family to leave so that they could lower the casket into the dark lonely dungeon in the ground. She sat in her black Mercedes truck for a long time. It was filled with memorabilia—the many things that she had accumulated while living in New Jersey for the last four years. She was on her way back to Atlanta, but she just couldn’t force herself to leave, right then. She thought about the first day she and Butter met. She smiled to herself, as her thoughts drifted back down memory lane.

• Language: English
• Publisher: AuthorHouse
• Release date: Jul 29, 2020
• ISBN: 9781728365770

Pinkstone

Pinkstone is a published author of several books/titles. She has been a self published author since 2007 and later revised her first book on 2015. She is a previous business owner and communications associate, she currently spends her time writing, public speaking and collecting art.

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© 2020 Pinkstone. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or

transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 07/06/2020

ISBN: 978-1-7283-6578-7 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-7283-6577-0 (e)

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models,

and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

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expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the

views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

English Standard Version (ESV)

The Holy Bible, English Standard Version. ESV® Text Edition: 2016. Copyright

© 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers.

There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.

—Galatians 3:28

Contents

Friends Forever

Truth or Consequences

Two The Hard Way

Floating Down River

The Blues

A Promise Between Drinks

The Many Faces of Love

Secrets

Trouble In Paradise

An Honest Decision

A Closer Walk

The Long Ride Home

It’s A Family Thing

A Steal Away

A Million Dollar Question

Follow Your Heart

What Butter Wants

Thought For Thought

Dinner At Five

Back Down Memory Lane

Conclusion

Danger To Myself

Friends Forever

T his light, has got to be one of the longest lights in the world, thought Dana, as she gripped the steering wheel of her small black Mercedes Sedan. She checked her watch for the second time in less than three minutes. She checked her rear view mirror. I am sure to be late if I keep getting caught at every light in the city, she thought, I should have taken the Park Way.

It was Dana’s first day at drama class and she didn’t want to be late. She loved drama. Acting was a passion of hers and to be taking the particular class, and on a college level, gave her instant satisfaction. She was both relieved and a little nostalgic as she drove her vehicle towards the direction of the campus. Dana had taken drama classes all through high school and sometimes longed for those days. She had wanted to take classes, the year before last, when she was a sophomore but, she had too many other important classes to master. She had wanted to take drama her freshman year, but still, she had to take the required classes in between working a part time job. She was in her junior year at college. It felt good, being 21 years old and with two years of college under her belt. She had only this year and then one more year to go, before graduating. She thought of her own significance in self-expression as she reminisced of how good it felt living away from home. Dana had two older brothers, who had graduated from college several years prior and were off living their own lives, just the way they had wanted to.

Her parents were high achievers, both lawyers. They wanted her to follow in her siblings footsteps and become a lawyer or a doctor, however; Dana wanted to be an actress. She would finish her degree in Business Management, to satisfy her parent’s desire for her to be degreed, and then she was off to the school for the arts; meanwhile, she would take a drama class here and there to satisfy her own theoretical cravings for a glamorous life in show biz. She knew that having a degree to back up her plans to become an actress was a good thing. One need only examine in depth the ramifications of not having a good solid education to fall back on, if things should not go as planned.

She had another reason for being happy to be living in another state, away from her family. Dana was lesbian but she hid it very well. She dated a few women, but there were never any women that remained embedded in her thoughts. For now, she had decided to put her personal life aside and focus more on completing college and pursuing a career in acting. Her parents had brought her the Mercedes when she graduated high school. She was living in a small apartment house in Downtown, New Jersey. It was close enough to Jersey State College and to her part time job. The location was ideal for her. She was paying her own rent, although she often called home for extra money. Her father had wanted her to stay in Atlanta and attend college there, as both her brother’s had done, but Dana wanted to be different as she, so often was. She and her father never really got along, mostly because she was much like him in that she had a strong sense of who she was and a mind of her own. Her father had an extremely, dominant personality and often times the two would argue. After much debate and noticing that each step in the progression of his daughter’s eventful life was surely becoming catastrophic, her father finally agreed to allow her to attend college out of state. Her father did most of the complaining about her calling home for money. He said that she needed to learn how to be totally independent, especially since she was so bent on doing things her way. Dear old dad would send her a certain amount and then there would be no more. Her mother often wired her money without her father’s knowledge and so did her two older brothers. She knew that she had a good hustle going on, at least, for now. Finally, the light turned green and Dana drove as fast as she could in the direction towards Jersey State College.

The class was comprised of many different students from all walks of life. Some were sophomores, freshman, juniors and even seniors. She knew instantly who some of the new comers were, because they looked nervous, uncomfortable or just plain old out of place. She noticed one young girl in particular. She was very lovely. Dana saw immediately that she and this girl had a lot in common. They were both rather tall and slim, wearing their hair very short and nearly bald while wearing jogging suits, baseball caps and tennis shoes. Although she thought this particular young woman a bit too boyish, Dana could not take her eyes off of her; she was after all, a rare beauty. She watched her silhouette into a chair, with the grace and finesse of a ballerina and yet she was dressed like a masculine tomboy. There was something refined and charismatic about her and yet something rough and common placed. They instantly caught each other’s eye.

Hi, smiled Dana taking a seat directly beside the young inviting woman, …my name is Dana?

Hi, spoke back, a sultry voice, barely above a whisper, I’m Butter.

Butter? asked Dana.

Yes, just Butter.

Is that your real name? Dana asked. "Gnaw’…I mean, no. replied Butter.

Dana smiled, loving every minute she got to talk with this cute little freshman.

Then what’s your real name…if I might ask?

It’s Simone—Simone…Ophelia…Marcellus.

That’s a lovely name, why don’t you like it? asked Dana.

I do, but my family and friends have called me Butter since I was a small child, so that’s what I answer to.

They both grinned.

…and why is that?

…because I used to fall down all the time. I was rather clumsy and awkward as a child, mostly because of my long legs and so, one of my favorite uncles nicknamed me Butter.

Dana liked Butter and thought that she might ask her a few more questions. She wanted to make known the fact that she was a lesbian woman. She often thought that those who hid who they really were from the world did so at their own peril. She did not wish to take that risk or vanish in a sea of doubt and shame, as the world would have it. Suddenly Dana grew a bit serious.

Would you mind if I asked you a personal question? It depends on how personal? asked Butter.

It’s pretty personal. said Dana.

Butter bit her bottom lip, exposing a rather immanent innocence. I bet I know what you are going to ask me, she replied, leaning towards Dana, in a rather gittish way you want to know if I’m gay, is that right? she whispered.

Nothing seemed to appeal to this woman’s muse, thought Dana as she smiled gracefully.

Yea, she agreed, not knowing what else to say. Suddenly Butter frowned.

Everybody is always asking me that, but the answer is definitely no. Never have been! Don’t want to be! Never will I be! Dana looked surprised as she fought to hide her sunken heart.

Feeling a bit embarrassed and disappointed, she suddenly realized how much the question had run the gamut.

Dana sighed, and then replied, Well then, she carefully uttered, hoping not to offend the precious female that held her captive, did you ever wonder that maybe it’s the way you dress?

Maybe it is, scowled Butter, but I dress this way because the clothes are comfortable, and I like to be comfortable. I know what you mean, Dana said judiciously.

Dana did not want to expose herself or separate herself from, what looked to be, a promising friendship. She suddenly realized that she had become Judas, but there was something about Butter that was mysteriously striking that she could not figure out, and yet she liked her and wanted to get to know her. Suddenly, Dana was beginning a venture that she had promised herself she would not tread. She felt a sick sense of hiding who she was.

Yeah, lied Dana, people say that about me too.

Suddenly, Butter smiled and felt a bit of relief. People ask you if you’re gay too.

Sometimes, Dana continued, but I tell them like you just told me that I like to be comfortable in my clothes.

Butter smiled, showing deep rooted dimples on both sides of her cheeks. She had thought for a second that this woman was trying to pursue her. She didn’t want to have to tell her to get lost. She seemed nice, but Butter was true to herself and was interested in nothing more than, the opposite sex, despite her appearance.

Dang! Thought Dana, She sure is pretty. I don’t know how I’m going to win this one over, but I’m damned sure going to give it a try.

She would start things off, by becoming Butter’s best friend. Are you from around here?

Yes, smiled Butter. I live in Tinton Falls. Do you have any brothers or sisters?

Just one sister. She’s two years younger than me, smiled Butter, but we are very different. She is very feminine and prissy and rather stoic, while I am more like an overly sensitive, tom-boy. To tell you the truth, I should have been a boy, but I’m definitely not though, she reiterated.

Do you drive? asked Dana.

Sometimes, answered Butter, I get to use one of my mom’s or dad’s many vehicles, she smiled in a sort of bragging way.

Are you using any of your parent’s vehicles today? asked Dana.

No, Butter frowned, I’m afraid I’m catching the bus today. My dad drove his truck to work and he doesn’t let anyone drive his Lamborghini and my mom’s Mini Van is in the shop, so she’s driving her sports car. It only has two seats and she had to drop my sister off at school this morning. Maya is always missing her bus, but of course that left no room for me, so I agreed to catch the bus to school.

If you want, I can take you home, volunteered Dana, in a candid voice.

Thanks, smiled Butter, That would be nice. Maybe you can come in and meet my mom. She’s cool, you know. You may even get to have dinner with us. My mom’s on vacation this week. She’s a real-estate agent. She sells the really nice, expensive, luxurious homes in the area.

Dana smiled eager to be of assistance.

That sounds like a winner. What time is your last class? It’s at 3:30.

Okay, said Dana, I can do that. I have to leave before noon to work my part time job. I get off at 3:00. I can swing back by here to take you home before I start my next class at 6:00.

Okay, agreed Butter, …and thanks because I sure hate catching the bus.

No problem, smiled Dana.

She was sure working hard to gain Butter’s friendship and trust. She was determined to be close to this rather naive, lovely creature and for all that, it was worth, she knew she would be. It was as though sunshine had entered her life that very morning. Dana envisioned she and Butter on a desolate beach where the shinning mask of polished brass meets the sun, blazing over the ocean, exposing rays of rich colors that bounce off of a vision of poetic charges with flashing images, of nothing more than she and Butter together.

It wasn’t long before Dana had gone to work and was back to pick Butter up after her class. She was eager to give Butter a ride home. Butter stood outside the campus library and sure enough, there was Dana pulling up in a black Mercedes Sedan, at 3:30 p.m. on the nose.

She must work really close to the school, Butter thought to herself.

Butter immediately referenced the Sedan. Wow! she smiled, opening the door and hopping in, This is a really nice truck. How can you afford this?

I can’t, smiled Dana, My parents brought it for me two years ago when I graduated high school. It was a present for promising to finish college.

You’re lucky, smiled Butter, My parents are really old. My mom is fifty five and my dad is sixty two and they don’t believe in spoiling us with too many material things. Don’t get me wrong, my dad makes a good living and so does my mom. My dad is an executive for a large oil company and travels a lot. We have everything that we can possible want, within reason, but nothing like this.

Dana smiled. How old are you? she asked. Eighteen, but I will be nineteen this year.

I’m twenty-one, said Dana, …and very responsible for myself…and since you like my Mercedes so much…I can pick you up and take you home every day that way, you don’t have to drive one of your parents’ vehicles, …but of course, that’s only if you’d like me to.

Really! smiled Butter, with the excitement of that of a small girl.

Yeah, smiled Dana, "and I’ll even go as far as to let you drive

it sometime—that is—once I get to really know you. Then you can drop me off at work, go home, and pick me back up in the evening. That way, you get to drive the Mercedes all you want." And I get to see you as often as I’d like, Dana thought to herself.

Are you serious?

Sure, I am, smiled Dana.

Okay, agreed Butter That sounds like a plan that I can live with.

Dana drove her Sedan onto the driveway of what looked like a very large, picturesque, and stately home. It was like déjà vu, as she eyed the home where Butter lived. She couldn’t believe how much it reminded her of her own parents’ home, back in Atlanta, where the price of housing was much cheaper than in New Jersey. The simple camaraderie and pleasure of experiencing Butter’s family and each other’s company made her heart quiver. She had been living in New Jersey for almost two years, and never had she met anyone that she could share experiences commiserating on heartfelt issues that weighted similarly in each of their separate lives. They talked about family and friends and even the fact that each of them seemed to cause their fathers more grief than any of the other siblings in their families. They seemed to have so much in common, and yet, Butter desired the eyes of men, and Dana desired lovely women such as Butter. She was empowered to take the risk with this one even though there was a nagging voice in her head that told her to remain nothing more than a devoted friend to the young and impressionable, Butter.

Mom! called Butter’s little sister, Maya. It’s Butter, and I think she has someone with her!

Butter jumped out of the truck and waited for Dana to join her. They walked towards the front of the house. Adjacent to the long luxuriously paved, brick driveway were two tall lioness statues with dark, sparkling ruby eyes that accented the mahogany doors decorating the four-car garage. The grounds were equally manicured showing a sense of definite wealth and success. The house was exquisite, and Dana noticed its position to the South where the surrounding countryside offered much to any imagination. It almost felt like home, as Dana entered the large foyer, marvelously decorated with dark cherry wood antique furnishings and other rather expensive and costly accessories, pulsing with insurmountable creativity while richly stabilized by precision and control.