I'm Grown

By LaFondra Willis-Dunn

Growing up in one of the largest inner cities in the south, Ylonia leaned more to the times around her; more so, than the lessons, her parents would speak to her. I’m Grown is loosely based on real illustrations in the fictitious life of eight different characters: Ylonia, Denise, Tyraneishia, Tre’Quan, Junior, Cassie, Blake, and Shaneka. The main fictitious character, Ylonia, narrates the book and is in no means a real-life character or person.
From manipulation by an impressionable male, Ylonia found herself expecting her first child and subject to statistical ridicule. Feeling her life was over and there was nothing that she could do to change her situation; she settled in the cultural norms of just surviving in the inner city. After many more disappointments and feelings of betrayal by her then-husband and so-called friends, Ylonia began to open up and seek counsel in the people she felt was in a position that she desired to be in one day. Armed with the knowledge of what it takes to get where she wanted to be in life, Ylonia started strategizing how she can apply their steps to her situation without ending up on the street in the process.
I'm Grown is collated in three parts: loose illustrations from her past; the assessment and resolution to those seemingly unavoidable and constant roadblocks, as well as, a workbook to help the readers begin their journey to strategizing to a better way of succeeding in life.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Xlibris US
• Release date: Feb 25, 2020
• ISBN: 9781796089837

LaFondra Willis-Dunn

LaFondra Willis-Dunn was born and raised in Houston, TX as the youngest of twelve. Raised in the inner city, she faced many challenges and unconscious road blocks that required a productive way out. Now a careered Project Manager and College Instructor, LaFondra applies her knowledge in assessing, identifying, and strategizing solutions to challenges in both life and on projects. LaFondra graduated from Keller Graduate School of Management of DeVry University where she received her Master of Business Administration degree in Business Intelligence & Data Analytics Management; as well as, her Bachelors of Science degree in Technical Management. LaFondra currently resides in Houston, TX with her two children, Steffon and Kennedi; and her significant other, Lee.

Book preview

I’m

Grown

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Traveling from Adolescence to Adulthood

LAFONDRA WILLIS-DUNN

Willis.jpg

Copyright © 2020 by LaFondra Willis-Dunn.

Library of Congress Control Number:    2020903695

ISBN:                  Hardcover                        978-1-7960-8969-1

                            Softcover                          978-1-7960-8968-4

                            eBook                                978-1-7960-8983-7

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from the copyright owner.

Scripture quotations marked KJV are from the Holy Bible, King James Version (Authorized Version). First published in 1611. Quoted from the KJV Classic Reference Bible, Copyright © 1983 by The Zondervan Corporation.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

Rev. date: 02/24/2020

Xlibris

1-888-795-4274

www.Xlibris.com

806998

This book is loosely based on real-life circumstances and/or

situations. Any references or similarities to actual events, characters,

and real people, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.

*****

To my children,

Nothing is impossible with God on our side. The Lord is our

strength and our refuge. To God be the glory. I love you agape!

Love,

Mom

Contents

Preface

Acknowledgments

Introduction

Chapter 1:   Because He Loves Me

Chapter 2:   Truth And Consequence

Chapter 3:   Mom, Where’s My Dad?

Chapter 4:   The Culmination

References

PREFACE

Sex is a natural urge within the human body, yet being responsible and making appropriate decisions are the keys to branding yourself. What is branding? Branding is your reputation as well as the esteem generated from it. We have all been there. I can still remember my adolescent years. My girls and I would frequent the mall on the weekends just to hang out during the day. Often, we would compete against one another to see who would get the most numbers from guys. This would require altering our attire and hair and would usually entail forward flirting to inform guys that we were interested. This is the beginning.

As we progressed through middle school, we felt it would be fun to play truth or dare at our various outings. Truth always resulted in gossip at school the following week. Consequently, altercations would occur. Many of us earnestly stayed away from selecting truth. Subsequently, we opted for a dare. All the dares included some sort of sexual contact with the opposite sex in public. Sexual contact was primarily kissing a guy for a preset number of seconds or minutes, groping, and sometimes touching of sacred body parts. Now we were playing with fire. This was the turning point where we began to fantasize about intimacy. It looked sensual on television, and his touch was arousing (arousal is the involuntary physiological process that gets the body ready for sexual activity). Impressionable. I’m Grown! addresses the continuous socioeconomic cycle of teen sex, economic struggle, and violence in the community, in addition to introducing the application of forward healing and being proactive.

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

I would like to thank my parents, my children, my family, and my longtime companion for encouraging me to complete this project. Thank you for your patience and encouragement throughout this process.

I would also like to thank Wunam for always being there for spiritual guidance.

Special thanks to the many men and women I have had the pleasure of sharing snippets of my life’s story with as I did the work to heal. I acknowledge the spirit, the mindset, and the emotion that has brought you here in my life. I acknowledge you all!

INTRODUCTION

Love has its ups and downs, but loving yourself is ultimately the key to recognizing love and attracting real love. Because He Loves Me introduces healthy love in comparison to unhealthy love, decision-making, and delving into what manipulation truly is. Chapter 2 also details the lessons Ylonia learned while developing from adolescence to young adulthood. It allows the reader to think about how thoughts control our decisions and how our decisions control our actions; actions result in consequences. Chapter 3—Mom, Where’s My Dad?—encompasses the effects to the not-so-well-thought-out decisions we tend to carry out first. These decisions can either alter our path, break us, or propel us; nonetheless, this is the unknown.

In the true game of life, all players make it to the end … eventually. Some take the long, dark, and challenging road instead of the short route in life. It depends on the path each player decides to take, the versatility in managing life’s unexpected changes, and the ability to think ahead and be quick on your feet. I’m Grown is loosely based on real illustrations in the fictitious life of eight different characters: Ylonia, Denise, Tyraneishia, Tre’Quan, Junior, Cassie, Blake, and Shaneka. The main fictitious character, Ylonia, narrates the book and is by no means a real-life character or person.

I’m Grown is written to help young ladies to strategize tackling life’s challenges in a positive way. At a high level, it covers branding yourself, sex consciousness, awareness, decision-making, teen pregnancy, and money matters.

CHAPTER 1

Because He Loves Me

As females, our bodies go through many changes before adolescence, during adolescence, and even after adolescence. As our bodies change, the neurotransmitters in our brains can become imbalanced (Armstrong 2016). We may experience anxiety, sleep trouble, decreased focus, tiredness, and the like. Coupled with the issues we are faced with daily, it can be pretty easy to slip into the arms of someone who makes you feel like you are everything to them. Unfortunately, young men are also going through hormonal imbalance, and often, they do not understand the delicacy of our hearts or their actions. Most young men have one thing in the brain, and that is what is in between your legs. As soon as they get a whiff of your innocence, they feel empowered. They feel like they are King Kong in the jungle … of your jungle. Don’t be afraid; be aware! Our bodies produce energy, give off energy, and can even be drained of its energy.

Have you ever been in an excellent mood and felt like you are on top of the world? Then one of your friends calls you up, and he/she is unloading their day of dilemmas to you. Suddenly, you begin to feel sad, irritated, and/or sometimes mad. You see, your friend’s energy transferred to you just by hearing him/her decompress about their day. Now I am not saying to not be there for your friend(s). I am correlating how listening without a protective filter will literally suck the positive energy from you and leave you with negative feelings on the inside. How powerful is that?

A mere conversation can alter your spiritual, emotional, and mental state. Protect yourself. If listening to someone decompress can alter your energy, imagine what this may do