The Ultimate Shop Manual: A Man's Guide to Shopping for and with Women

By Scott Hubbard and Dan Haines

What man hasn't struggled when it comes to shopping for or with a woman? And what woman hasn't suffered the consequences? Help for men has finally arrived!

The Ultimate Shop Manual-A Man's Guide to Shopping for and with Women takes both men's and women's perspectives on shopping and blends them together using practical advice and humor to aid men through the shopping maze.

The Ultimate Shop Manual is bursting with the insight that author Scott Hubbard has gained during the past two decades observing and recording the pitiful plight of males (young and old) as they struggled in the shopping arena. Downtrodden men will

Learn why there was more to the original sin than just the snake and the forbidden fruit.
Examine the myths surrounding men, women and shopping.
Explore the tangled web of gift-giving, including the forbidden world of lingerie, and use the author's ideas and tools to successfully shop for their cuddle dove.
Develop a game plan for keeping their sanity and patience during marathon shopping sessions with their little lovely.

The Ultimate Shop Manual will make both men and women laugh, learn, and understand the connection between shopping and their relationships. Grab a copy before she buys one for you!

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Apr 24, 2006
• ISBN: 9780595824977

Scott Hubbard

Scott Hubbard is a graduate of Iowa State University with a bachelor?s degree in Engineering Operations. Scott resides in Wichita, Kansas with his wife Helen, two shopping-crazed daughters Nicole and Madison, and his shopping-challenged son Nate. When not writing, Scott enjoys playing various sports and observing the human experience unfold.

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Copyright © 2006 Scott E. Hubbard.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the author except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This book and information herein is the property of Scott Hubbard and all

unauthorized use and reproduction is prohibited.

Companion Stat Sheet, The Guy Zone, and Hint Dropper Cards are

trademarks of Scott Hubbard.

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NIV

Scripture quotations marked NIV are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version®. NIV®. Copyright © 1973, 1978, 1984 by International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved. [Biblica]

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ISBN: 978-0-5953-8129-6 (sc)

ISBN: 978-0-5958-2497-7 (e)

iUniverse rev. date: 11/23/2019

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

I would like to thank my lovely wife Helen and my two darling daughters Nicole and Madison for letting me see how the female shopper’s mind operates. I knew I had a responsibility to finish this book when, several years ago, my daughters took over our living room and turned it into a clothing store complete with an adding machine, clothes racks, and store signage. They spent the whole afternoon in an imaginary store! I think I owe it to my daughters’ future husbands. I would also like to thank my son Nate for being the other man in the house who hates to shop.

I would like to thank our family dog Biscuit for faithfully keeping me company as I hammered away on the keyboard each night.

Special thanks go to Janet Shepherd for designing a great cover for me. Lastly, I would like to thank the Lord above for giving me the gentle nudges and time to complete this book.

I can do everything through him who gives me strength.—Philippians 4:13 NIV

All hard work brings a profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.— Proverbs 14:23 NIV

CONTENTS

Introduction

Chapter 1    Learning from the Past

In the Beginning

Chapter 2    The Shopping Psyche of Men

Shopping is a Challenge!

What Did You Say?

Time is Precious

It Doesn’t Get Any Better Than This

Resistance to Assistance

When Worlds Collide

Chapter 3    The Shopping Psyche of Women

The Possibilities are Endless

Girls’ Night Out

Shopping is a Challenge!

Breaking through the Myths

Born to Shop?

Show Me the Money

Waiting to Exhale

Chapter 4    Shopping for Her

Know Thy Companion

Gift Giving Ideas—The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly

The Good

First Team

Second Team

Honorable Mention

The Bad

The Ugly

How to Surprise Her

Special Occasion Surprises

Big Box/Little Box Surprise

Lead-To Surprise

Hidden Surprise

Unexpected Surprise

Just Because Surprises

Lingerie—The Thong and Short of It

Step 1—Feel Each Other Out

Step 2—Research the Subject

Step 3—Narrow your Choices

Step 4—Buy the Frilly Stuff

Lingerie Tips—General

Lingerie Tips—At the Store

The Bikini—The Hidden Gem of Lingerie

Shopper Procrastinitis

Tips for Shopping for Her

Standard Tips

Zen Tips

Chapter 5    Shopping with Her

It’s a Whole New Opponent

Developing a Game Plan

The Game Begins—Just Looking

Clothes Shopping—Mission Impossible?

The Dressing Room Experience

The Waiting Game

Judgment Day

Flash the Cash

Closing the Deal

Advancing to the Next Round

Tips for Shopping with Her

Standard Tips

Zen Tips

Chapter 6    Shopping in the Future

Shopping for a Net Loss

The Guy Zone™

Chapter 7    Why Bother?

Appendix A    Power Tools

Companion Stat Sheet™

Hint Dropper Cards™

INTRODUCTION

I’m one of the unfortunate ones. My husband hates to shop. That’s why I want one of the first copies of your book!—41-year-old Administrative Assistant

All right guys; let’s admit it right now, right up front. The majority of us don’t like to shop.

• Not for ourselves…

• Not for our kids…

• Not for our pets

But most of all, not for the woman in our lives. And certainly not with our special ladies.

I don’t think he likes to shop for me or he would do it more often. I think the worst thing for him is thinking of what to buy that I will like.—34-year-old Software Engineer

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Over the centuries, rock solid marriages and relationships have crumbled under the erosion created from men’s adversity towards shopping. So called experts have written articles and self-help books on proper relationships between men and women, but all have failed to unearth the one constant thorn in every relationship—shopping.

Hundreds of books, magazines, and talk shows have focused on helping a woman in her shopping adventures. However, the poor male, who truly needs a comprehensive guide, is left staring blankly into a half empty beer mug pondering (1) why his favorite team is dead last in their conference, (2) why the waitress hasn’t dropped by another cool one, and, oh yeah, (3) why his relationship is in such dire straits. The only advice a male has received up to this point is ridicule. Countless articles and cartoons have depicted the pitiful plight of the male when it comes to shopping.

I wrote this book after over two decades of observing the male/female shopping drama unfold every time I went to the mall with my wife. The characters were different each time, but the plot was always the same— men walking aimlessly with their companions, their hands always dug deeply into their pockets. You could almost hear the mall’s intercom system crying out Dead Man Walking to signify the death march taking place every evening and weekend at the mall. Whenever I would meet a fellow male outside a women’s dressing room leaning up against the wall or slouching against a clothes rack (God forbid that the stores have chairs!), we would always exchange weak smiles but never any words. We both knew that there were no words to describe the feelings we had at that moment.

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Those decades of observation have given me ideas on how to attack this problem. After all, we males have been faced with numerous challenges before—wars, space exploration, and bra clasps—and we have been victorious (although I still have problems with the latter). I decided that males need a plan of attack that is simple and practical. I’m talking about shopping here, you’re on your own relative to the bra thing.

To supplement my observations, I went to the source, females, to get their input. I sent out a survey to a cross section of female friends and relatives across the country asking them various questions about shopping. Their answers were funny, thought provoking, and emphasized the integral part that shopping plays in the overall male female relationship. Their answers helped form the contents of this book and their original quotes are sprinkled throughout for your enjoyment and enlightenment. I even had my own wife complete