The Stupider Sex

By Elizabeth Ratface

Which sex is stupider? This volume seeks to answer this question, using heavy doses of humor and a multitude of examples. Written by Liz and her husband Roland in order to give both sides of the story, chapters explore the myths of women who cannot operate simple devices, men who bungle simple shopping tasks, women drivers, and men who are clueless about relationships.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Elizabeth Ratface
• Release date: Aug 15, 2014
• ISBN: 9781310557095

Elizabeth Ratface

Elizabeth Ratface has had her share of relationships gone bad. She decided to write about her experiences both as personal therapy and in the hope that others suffering from equally bad experiences will no longer feel alone.

Book preview

The Stupider Sex

by Elizabeth and Roland Ratface

Published by Elizabeth and Roland Ratface on Smashwords

Copyright 2014 Elizabeth Ratface and Roland Ratface

This book may not be reproduced, copied or distributed without the express permission of the author. This book may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with someone, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it or have it purchased for you, please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author.

Cover art courtesy the Library of Congress, On the contrary by Herbert M. Wilder, 1898

TABLE OF CONTENTS

CHAPTER ONE: Introduction

CHAPTER TWO: How do I get this stupid thing to work?

CHAPTER THREE: A bill is more than just the mouth of a duck

CHAPTER FOUR: Thank goodness our kids don't take after your side of the family

CHAPTER FIVE: How to look like a slob without being one

CHAPTER SIX: What I thought you thought isn't what you thought, is it?

CHAPTER SEVEN: Driving, shopping, socializing and other horrors

CHAPTER EIGHT: Is there a stupider sex?

CHAPTER ONE: Introduction

Who is stupider--men or women? This age-old question has plagued each generation from the beginning of time, and has provided no end of arguments, debates and heated discussions. At the close of each such debate, both parties usually emerge red-faced and exhausted, having failed to convince their adversary one iota, but having convinced themselves more and more of their own position. Then the sparring parties go to their respective corners to regain their strength so they can battle this pointless question another day.

For all its impossibility, this volume seeks to answer this fundamental question about who is more stupid. It does so by offering a number of examples drawn from our common experience as human beings. In this volume we will review the claim that women are inept with all things mechanical, as well as the claim that men are dense when it comes to inter family relationships. We will review money, children, in-laws, appearances, social etiquette, what men and women REALLY think about each other when they are together, sports and fashions, driving, and a myriad of other contexts in which the stupidity of men or women are thought to be demonstrated. It is hoped that this enlightening discussion will reveal which gender is stupider, even though in the end the answer may simply boil down to be the opposite gender of the person answering the question.

You will notice from the cover and title page that this book has two authors, a man and a woman. Each gender position is therefore fully and fairly represented. If you have guessed that this particular man and woman who wrote this nonsense volume are in fact a married couple (due to their shared surname), you are absolutely right. We have risked our marital bliss to jointly write this volume, in which we have gleefully pointed out the many ways in which the gender of our spouse is stupid and nonsensical. As you can well imagine, this has led to many noodle dinners and evenings of stony silence as we have come to appreciate what our spouse is truly thinking of us. (However, Roly adds the following note, with a certain degree of discontent: Liz, with her admittedly superior skill at language performed the final editing--allowing her to have the final word).

Fortunately the two of us love each other, which allows us to look past all the stupidity and pretend like it isn't there. At any rate, regardless of the hurt and anger we have caused each other by being truthful with our opinions in preparing this volume, we somehow muddled through and created this ridiculous discussion, full of pithy, wonderfully stupid examples that demonstrate beyond question who is the stupider sex. So read on, and be enthralled as you try to decipher which gender is the stupider ...

One final note. Just so you will know from the beginning, this book does not contain any sexual references whatsoever. If that is the sort of thing you